Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

inshock, your FSH is great; they want it under 10 (I think) for IVF. It is really only a concern if you are seeking to have IVF. Even if your FSH was sky high,it wouldn't mean you can't get pregnant - it is simply a measure of how hard your ovaries are working to get ovulation happening - as we age, fsh goes up because the body has to work a bit harder at getting the egg released. Unfortunately women are told that high fsh means the death knoll on their fertility. It's really only useful if you are having ivf because they need to stimulate the ovaries to produce more folilicles and if FSH is high it's a problem.

Are you having the 21 day bloods too (should be called 7 DPO bloods to be accurate)? It will measure your progesterone.

I honestly don't think your FSH is stopping you from getting pregnant. I know 10 months seems a long time, but it may be just around the corner for you. Randine Lewis has a lot of inspirational stuff to say about FSH, as does Julia Indichova.

How is everyone else?

I hope all is well.

Morning Everyone ! Sadly another BFN for me and temperature shot up again

The BFN isn't necessarily bad news then, Mumalah , if your temperature is high.

I have just had a look and ,wow! It really has shot up, that's got to be because of progesterone. If it were my chart, I'd be feeling a teeny bit hopeful

Morning everyone, I have just sneaked upstairs for a shower while dd is distracted with a DVD (dh there too). She is really suffering at the moment, we have spent 3 days going backwards & forwards to hosp to have her kidneys checked because of this HSP she's got. Now she has chicken pox! One spot is causing her eye to swell, others around her lady bits causing great discomfort. Poor thing. Calpol is our new best friend.
I'm not even sure how many dpo I am with all this going on - fingers crossed I might have a non obsessive 2ww!

Thanks Gumblossom that's so helpful, you've just reduced my obsessive googling :) I had my day 21 test last month and it was 53.1 so confirmed ovulation and a healthy progesterone level, thyroid was 1.05....DP has healthy swimmers too so I don't know why it's not happening. Thx for the links I'll be reading up over the weekend.

Grizzer your poor DD, I remember chicken pox in the most awkward places so so well!

Morning

Hope you are doing ok jbrd. Thinking of you.

So DP and I went to have our consultation at the clinic on Friday (all good - esp. DP sperm count about which he was ridiculously proud and has bee taking his morning vitamin without prompting . We also had to have a counselling session which was ok but really designed to find out whether we had considered the ramifications of egg donation etc. It was quite basic but I guess some people don't think about it.

The shocking thing was just before we left they advised that they had matched a donor who was ready to go... Which freaked me out because I thought I had about 4 weeks and accepting this donor would mean starting on the 15 of May!!

They give you such random information on which to make a decision (height, hair colour, hair colour and a few characteristics that the donor has identified and a hobbies) and I don't know how to make the decision....she has the same colour eyes as DP is nearly the same height as me and same colour hair.....but ultimately does it really matter? My sister and eye don't really look like each other and any baby won't be of my genetics so why look for someone who matches? We have until Tuesday morning to decide. My current leaning is toward saying yes....

This morning is a beautiful day and we are off for a long walk in the woods. Hope you all have good days.

Ps. Good luck mumlah....

Thank you Green and good luck to you, wow that is quick !
I spent last night with my nieces little boy he is two the same age as my 5th ds passed away. Sadly his mum isn't the greatest and had dumped him on grandma for two weeks, hasn't been in touch since and didn't even say good bye when she left. I couldn't help but think why doesn't she realize how lucky and precious he is? She did the same with two other children, even had the eldest adopted, it makes me so mad ! Just having him sitting on my lap gave me that intense strong feeling of wanting to be a mum again.
Im still spotting, temp dropped slightly but still above the coverline, I dont know whats going on definatley a WTF cycle Gum
Thinking of you Jbrd

Green, that is fantastic news! You could be pregnant really soon. How exciting!

mumalah, I am so sorry to hear that your 5th DS passed away. How bittersweet to hold your niece's little boy who is the same age. I do hope you can have a baby soon. Your temperature is still really good - and it's 18dpo, I am surprised you haven't had a bfp.

My chart, on the other hand, is absolutely abysmal. My post ovulation temperatures haven't gotten beyond about 36.68. Makes me worry that my progesterone isn't high enough, but I've had sore boobs since ovulation - isn't that the progesterone? Maybe it is estrogen and that's why temps are lowish. I certainly don't hold out any hope whatsoever for a bfp. I shouldn't be surprised, but I do keep hoping for a bfp despite my age.

It's going to be very busy over the next few days, with DH away on a school camp, and me left to ferry all the kids, juggle all that with work etc. So at least I won't have too much time to think about not getting a bfp....Who knows - next month might just be the golden egg I have been waiting for

Thank you for all your kind words, ladies.

Green That is great news - and scary at the same time, I can understand you are freaked out! I hope you could clear your mind and have come to a decision about how to go forward. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

I'm now again in that deep hole that you fall into after a mc... The procedure went as well as it could, straightforward and no complications. Feeling very tired and drained now... Not sure where I will go from here. My heart breaks to think that I will never have another baby, but at the same time I don't know if I can face ttc and being pg again. I've now had 4 mcs in a row, and am wondering now if that was it for me...
It's early days to think about this, but I can't help it. I'm 42 now, and we have been ttc DC2 for almost 2 years. No problems with falling pg, but can't seem to stay pg I'm so weary of it all now, the constant roller coaster is really getting to me.

But then I see DS, and my friends with their gorgeous 2nd babies, and I so want another. I'm even thinking about adoption...

They will do a post mortem, but I'm not hopeful that they will find anything that they can do anything about. I was so highly medicated and closely monitored this time, and I really don't know what more options there would be.

JBrd I understand completely where you're coming from but wait for the results of the post mortem & give yourself a few months where you allow yourself to grieve. You will do whatever is right for you but don't make any decisions while things are still so raw. You will always feel a sadness from your loss but it will ease over time & maybe you will feel ready to try again but if you don't you will know you tried everything you could & some things are out of our hands.
We are just home after 2 days in hospital with dd. she is now on medicine to help her kidneys & she will be on it until there is no longer any protein in her urine. She has been through so many blood tests & pokes & prods over the last week but is still so cheerful bless her. I have managed to get half way through the 2ww without giving it much thought. Of course, now the thoughts of 'well, we were quite stressed & busy this month so I haven't really thought about it so that's when it will happen' have started to creep in. I confess to having 2 glasses of wine tonight though. I felt it was much needed & deserved. DH in hospital 2 weeks ago & now dd - what are they trying to do to me!?

OhJBrd my heart goes out to you,it must be an incredibly difficult and sad time for you.. It's all so recent and raw, you probably need to give yourself time to grieve before making a decision re ttc again or not . I know what you mean about that rollercoaster of getting pregnant and losing babies, it's so emotionally draining .I was told any pregnancy at my age (but I was then 44 so older than you) would have a 50% chance of being successful so that "golden egg" could still be there but I also know from experience that each loss is devastating. I would have adopted if we had a big enough house(think you need a seperate bedroom for each child?).
Good luck with whatever you decide xxx

Green , have you decided to accept the donor that was suggested?
Exciting times ahead for you!

Hi Gum, CaliBee and everyone else x

Jbrd, it is so nice to see you. I remember that tired and drained feeling. You really must look after yourself (and of course your DH must too). Emotionally you are going through a terrible ordeal, and physically too - so if you can try to nourish your body it may help with the awful tiredness. I know right now, it is all you can think about, but take time to recover and you can make decisions when you are ready.((hugs))

Mumalah, I have been stalking your chart (thanks to your link on the thread) I can't believe you are 20 dpo and no sign of AF and temps still above cover line. Blimey, that would do my head in seeings you haven't had a BFP. Would you consider having a blood-test to find out?

Grizzer, what a terrible run you have had of late. I like your theory - hopefully there will be a lovely BFP at the end of your tww.

There certainly won't be one for me. My temperature dropped substantially today - way under coverline, and the boob tenderness has disappeared. AF will arrive today or tomorrow. Which is actually fine. As I haven't had a week and half of symptoms, I knew it wasn't likely. I think it kind of does prove that when I have a lot of symptoms, I may in fact have a fertilised egg that doesn't implant. I know some say you can't have symptoms without implantation, but I disagree. I believe that if the egg is fertilised your hormones react differently. I did have strong symptoms before getting bfps, so that's my theory and I am sticking to it

Anyway, now wouldn't be great timing - I know it never is - but my DH is very stressed about things and a bfp might just be the "straw". His eldery parents have gone from bad to worse and he is really feeling the burden of responsibility there I think. I do wish the issues could be resolved, but these things tend not to be sorted very quickly and dealing with a very surly,grumpy old man and his confused wife is no easy feat. They are still living in their own home, which unfortunately is quite isolated, which means it is difficult to be on hand whenever there is a need. I think they want to stay on their beloved farm until they die, it is just unfortunate that they can't manage things like cleaning, cooking etc for themselves.

Sorry, completely off topic. The point is, DH is stressed and perhaps the Universe will provide a wee baby once those things are settled. Or perhaps it is just too late for me? Either way, I will be ok.

I have a fresh cold today, which is slowing me down a bit. I'd best get everyone organised for school.

Hi Irish, I hope all is well with your new little miss

irish, yes, how are you both doing?

JBrd, some people feel better if they csnjump back to ttc as soon asphysically possible. And some need time out. i think time out is wise (I never am able to do this meself). You can recover and prepare for your future, whatever that may be. There is no hurry, a couple of months does nothing but helps your brain to get into better place.And maybe the post-mortem will tell you what happened, and maybe that is one off or treatable. Then you will have every reason to gather up that courage and try again. Though I admit that your case discouraged me really very much. - I have always believed that if I once manage to get that heart beating, it will be fine. because in all my mc I never had! For some reason what happened to you brougt it home for me - having that hb and losing it later would be so bad that I might not be ready to face it......

JBrd, I've just seen your very sad news, I'm so sorry, how devastating. I hope you're recovering physically, and that the post-mortem does provide some answers. Gum is right, take care of yourself and take time. xx

I haven't checked in lately, I hope everyone else is ok, and I'll try and catch up in the next few days, (though I may have said that last time).

I am 7DPO, and gearing up for that test-time disappointment:-)) Should i get it 9dpo with some hope left of 10 dpo without any hope left....that is the question......

jass, why would 10 dpo be without hope? Implantation could occur a day later couldn't it, and still be a viable pregnancy?

I am on my third day of AF today,and it is very light. Feeling that I am very perimenopausal and worried it is the death knoll on any chance at all.

I guess I just have to keep trying - it is the only way I will find out either way.

I just heard a story about a 48 year old with a healthy pregnancy (just had amnio and all is well) - but she is vegan - so if that is the clincher, I've no hope. I am just not going to give up meat

It is Mother's Day in Australia. I am being treated to breakfast made for me, but I'm not sure the rest of the day will be perfect. I have to take DS to a birthday party ( a bunch of 5 year old boys running around is not my idea of relaxation), DH is spending most of the day with his DM, so I don't know if I will get a break. I might send DD out for a walk with young DS so I can an hour to myself

mumalah, you've not updated your chart. What's going on? Did AF show?

Gum, among vegans there are quite high numbers of infertility, too :-) some claim immune issuesmcan be enhanced by so-called endo diet, which is vegan and dairy free:-) There is no such thing like do this -'happens that. mothers day here as well, just got in from expat mothers' day party with lots of home made traditional stuff.

10dpo I have never had a neg hpt with any of my mc. So Icount myself out if not pos by then. Interestingly, with my last successfull pg I had neg at 12dpo and reasonably clear pos at 16dpo. Was not testing inbetween, as was not obsessed then. And I did another at 18 dpo bcause had terrible af type pains. The test at 18 dpo was not equal lines still, and I get em equal by 500-600 beta in blood, so I must have had horribly slow rising betas then. It was a test type I still use, so I know. I did not know all that, so went to doc after these two tests only around 8w and was totally sure there will be a baby at the end. Oh to get that naivety back!

Ladies, I have just spent yet another evening in a & e! I kid you not. I have my own named parking space & chair! Dh came back from a 4 day school trip with a slight pain in foot. Yesterday it was a bit swollen & hurt to walk. Today he can't walk at all & it is huge. As we were waiting to see the dr the redness spread up his leg. He has cellulitis from a suspected insect bite. They are keeping him in to give him iv antibiotics. That is surely it for bad luck isn't it? That is our 3 things I hope although I'm fairly sure AF is preparing to show her ugly face in the next couple of days so my misery isn't over yet!!

grizzer you definitely have had your three now - the only way is up! . Sounds very painful - have the anti biotics started to work if they are via IVF?

Happy Mother's Day gum - hope you managed your 1 hour of peace

Hope you are okay jbrd still thinking of you.

Hello to everyone else - lovely to see so many previous thread dwellers

Quick update from me. We decided to accept our donor and it is all systems go. Today is CD1 (sadly didn't get my ironic pre DEIVF BFP...boo!) so I start injecting tonight (I am not looking forward to this...). our donor will start down regging on the 16th and I will keep going until I can be scanned on the 10th June.

I am away from 27th to the 6th june so can't be scanned until the following week. If all okay at that point (ie. my ovaries are "quiet") I will start with oestrogen to build my womb lining and our donor will start stimming. Could be looking at ET around the 19/20th June time if all goes according to plan. It is all happening so quickly but somehow not quickly enough.

Great to see this thread. Anyone else 44 and ttc? Any great stories that it worked!? Thanks

Hello, I am looking for some advice, please. I am almost 43 and TTC with only one working fallopian tube. Is this hopeless? What are my chances of conceiving with only one tube at my age? My AMH is 6.0 and FSH 4.5. Do any of you know of anyone my age who conceived with only one tube?

I wish you all the very best of luck with your longed-for pregnancies and thank you for any opinions or advice you may have

Hi ZEST99 and RitaAura and welcome to the thread You will find a lot of
support and knowledge here in our quest for a baby (or another baby) in our
forties. One thing is for sure is that it isn't 'hopeless' - we have had
many of the thread who have had successful pregnancies! It is a sad truth
though that TTC in your forties is not without its challenges and isn't for
the fainthearted but if it is what you want you are in the right place!

I am 44 (as is my DP) with an FSH of 8 and and AMH of 1.3 and have been
trying for our 1st (DP's third). I have conceived twice in the last 12
months but sadly both ended in miscarriage. Tests revealed no other reason
for the miscarriages other than the fact that my eggs are a bit old and
knackered. The risk is that subsuqent pregnancies would also have a high chance
of ending in miscarriage too. So my DP and I are going down the donor egg
route and have just started the IVF cycle. Where there is a will there is
a way....

I wish all the very best of luck in your journey. Rita - your stats sound
good to me - concieving with one tube isn't impossible but might be a
little bit more of challenge in terms of time?

So exciting Green. Excuse my ignorance but does this mean a definite pregnancy? I'm feeling a little research coming on..... 2 good friends have just had baby boys in the last 2 days. I'm so jealous & am sure AF is coming tomorrow. Definitely getting odd twinges but trying to convince myself otherwise. Can't see it happening next month either unless dh makes a very speedy recovery.
Welcome Zest & Rita. I can't help with the stats & medical info but this is the best place for advice & general ranting is always accepted.
I'm tempted to go to bed early in preparation for my very long day of knicker checking tomorrow! If the old witch has to show she'd better be nice & early before I build my hopes up!

Welcome to the newbies.

Rita, your numbers are very good. I wish I had an AMH like that.Mine is very low. However, having said that, I don't like to put too much store into the numbers. Many women have babies after bad numbers, but in your case, the amh and fsh are excellent. I am sure the one fallopian tube won't stop you getting pregnant, it may take longer, but I have heard that the tube can "swing" over to the other ovary if it is the one ovulating, to catch the egg. Though I am not sure how scientific it is - I just read it somewhere.

zest, 44 is not too old, and there have been successes at your age. I guess it depends how patient you are and how far you are willing to go. Do you have other children? If you do, when was your last pregnancy? If you've not had other children, I would get some fertility tests to see where you are at, as it may be worth getting some help sooner rather than later.

I am in a very different boat - already a mum to 5,still want one last bub to even up the number, but I am 47 and do not have DH on board for any kind of intervention. If I had my way, I'd be doing what Green is doing and going for donor egg. That's not to say I think you should, you may find it easy to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I've now had 4 miscarriages and I'm jolly sick of them, but still going to keep fingers crossed that I have one more healthy egg worth fertilising in there.

Whatever your journey, we are here to cheer you on.

Green, I am SOOOO excited for you!!! I want to hear all about it.

Mumalah, if you are reading, will you please pop in just to appease my curiosity. I've been watching your chart and you've not put anything on there for a week. What's going on woman???

Oh - meant send my sympathies to Grizzer, gosh, you've had a bad trot haven't you? Surely it can be all peace,quiet and bfp for you now?

Any news jass, I am sure you have tested by now? As you were saying, your last successful pregnancy, you didn't get a bfp til 16dpo, so there is always a possibility of a late implanter, isn't there? Anyway, have you had a pos+ ?

Don't worry, there's no way I'd go for the vegan option, I am a true carnivore. I have a friend who is vegetarian and is having awful trouble with low iron. I do wish she'd eat a steak, but I would never say that too her. I respect her choices, but it is a bummer that she isn't feeling well as a result. Anyway, I am not even sure that the meat would help?

calibee, how are you? What's going on for you?

irish, how is your little darling going?

Diege, I've missed you - can you drop in and just let us know how you are? I know you are super busy. How is your littlest man doing?

My DS has a barking cough, I should probably stay home today, but I have to be off work tomorrow for professional learning, then I'm off on Friday to be helper at DS's school. I suppose in a family of four, almost five (DD is 17) adults, one of us can swing staying home.

Have a nice day everyone