Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

10000 sorry you are out this month but like Grizzer says you do have lots of options to think about : )

Gum - exciting pregnancy symptoms! I am now also in yet another 2ww and I tell myself to get a grip each time! But.... I am still symptom spotting!! My boobs are also always tender however this month it is more in my nipples - mega sore ! I am trying not to read too much into this (laughs at self!) though, however this was first symptom with my first pregnancy (slaps back of own hand). I was so gutted last month not to be preggo and promised I would be more cautious this time but it is so hard not to read into every little twinge/symptom/soreness/change in appetite!!!

Crikey Gum - u really were busy lol! Defo fingers crossed on the symptoms - when r u thinking of poas? Sorry you're out Fireflies - enjoy a large glass of wine! xx

not sure how to feel today. A mix of feeling optimistic because the metal mouth is still there and boobs still tender and had really clear dream of a new baby, but disappointed because i got a bfn and temp is lower. however although fertility friend says i am 11 dpo i may only be 10. I do i feel really tired and tummy is unsettled. can't quite believe i have got the tww blues again....

Bah humbug....

I just read back a bit on the thread. Jbrd sorry to hear about the wait for results and deciding about having further tests etc. I wonder if you thoughts are the same as mine. I didn't know in advance what my response would be to test results if they revealed abnormalities. I decided to cross that bridge when we came to it. We didn't have to consider further tests, but I was shocked by how high my risk was deemed to be even so. (results were misquoted over phone as being much better - in the thousands when actually in the hundreds.)

Grizzer I am not an expert on cycles at all. I hope someone can help you with your question. Good to hear your hubby is recovering ok.

Matts I'm with you on the obsessive symptom spotting. Did you see the link I posted above. Love it! It even has a sore throat as an early preg symptom!!

gum sorry about the bfn. Hope FF is right about the days.

I have just about recovered from yesterday's hangover. I consoled myself with a large quantity of vintage cava. I had a to have a hair of the dog last night as painkillers/lots of water wasn't enough. Have gone soft in old age!!

Lovely day here. Sun has been shining and it feels lovely and warm. And DS is napping. Bliss!! Time to start downing the green tea and supps.

Hi. I am currently 41 (42 in October) and suffered my first miscarriage in November of last year. I opted for a D&C as my body did not recognise that i had miscarried. I had one period on 18th January but i have had nothing since. I am now under a consultant at the hospital who has told me that it might be my ovaries not working as my hormone levels are all over the place. I wondered if anyone else has been through similar and if their hormones were the same. I find it very difficult to believe that i can have a natural pregnancy after normal cycles to then not have my ovaries working properly!! It seems too much of a coincidence. BTW its brilliant to see that there is hope out there!! xx

Gum - I am so with you on the ups and downs of the 2ww!! Too early for me to test but my nipps are something else one minute hot prickly and sore then not so much but always tender - I am boob prodding all the time! It is so hard isn't it? I am annoyed with myself once again for even allowing myself to get a little bit more than hopeful : /

10000. LOL at the sore throat - I actually had a bit of one last night. Why do we do it to ourselves?!!

Welcome fiona (can't think what your RL name could be ). If he is right about your ovaries/hormones, hopefully it's relatively easy to fix. Maybe with an IVF style approach? They put you on the pill for a bit, then suppress your natural hormones for a bit, then you take hormones to recreate a normal female cycle up to ovulation. Just speculating though.

Matts the obsessing is perfectly natural. I wish I could be nonchalant and not do it. It would be just so perfect to say, oh I know, I feel a bit rough. I'll just POAS for the hell of it, and find it's positive.

Going to put on my jade bracelets again. Where's the clutching at straws emoticon?

Night all. xx

Ah Fireflies, I had to smile when you mentioned the jade bracelets - do they have special conception powers???? Because if they do, I must have one!! I have rose quartz for fertility purposes, but clearly they've not yet worked.

I feel very confused about the way I am feeling. I am trying to revert to the, "I am definitely not pregnant,it just isn't possible, certainly couldn't be straight after a chemical, blah,blah,blah..." to thinking, "blimey, this metallic taste just isn't letting up, boobs still sore, there's got to be something in this..." And to top it off I had a nice high temperature today. My chart looks like a classic chart with implantation dip, but the dip is late - 10 or 11 dpo, which doesn't bode well. But temperature being up at this stage is good.Here is my chart.

However, this morning the breast tenderness isn't as bad, and test is clearly negative.

I expect to see AF either Sunday or Monday. I haven't completely given up, I keep reminding myself that some women don't get a + test until a week after AF is due. So getting negatives at 10 or 11 dpo isn't the end necessarily.

At least the sun is shining, weather is sweet (thanks, Bob Marley) and it is the last day of term, so two weeks off soon. God knows I need it.Perfect timing for weeks five and 6 or pregnancy I think....

I agree gum, don't give up yet. If the temp dip was indeed a conception dip you wouldn't expect a bfp for a few days yet. Of course I know you've been here lots of times before too, but whatever the outcome this month those high temps are good and it was only a month ago that you got a bfp. Hold on in there xxx
fireflies good to hear from you, and sorry about af this month. Sounds like you have a good plan of action though re: supplements etc (bracelets sound intriguing - don't babies have those bracelets for teething too? - someone making a packet out there .
All ok here. Dh has the 'bug' so we're talking 2 straight days in bed, natch At least I am feeling better and trying to keep the 6ibs lost going! Have a helthy bmi now but still a stone and a half to go until my 'ideal' weight.

healthy

Hi everyone, been hovering for a few weeks and decided to join you. Firstly thanks to everyone for the information and advice in these threads. Picked up a lot of tips. I'm 42 and after two-ing and fro-ing we have decided to go for it! Came off the pill at Christmas and amazed after nearly 43 years on the planet I am only just learning how my body works and the process it takes to get pregnant lol. Measuring this, monitoring that. I have said that whatever will be will be but I'm already slightly obsessive ;0 my DD turns 20 end of the year so I'm hoping it's like riding a bicycle???

Had a tiny spot of blood this morning so assume AF is on the way even though it's not supposed to be til Tuesday. My lower back is really aching too which I'm not reading anything into......
Have decided to paint the hall & stairs - I always regret it once I start but the paint has been purchased & the masking tape is covering all the parts I hope not to paint but probably will anyway. Such a lovely day too, really should be having a glass of wine in the garden! What do you mean it's only 2 o'clock?? I feel like I need a bottle after the week I've had!

Now, Grizzer, you know that sounds suspiciously like implantation if AF isn't due til Tuesday (I am quietly excited for you).

Hi Wednesday. The shagging bit is like riding a bicycle, but the trying to conceive bit isn't. I hope it won't take you long to get pregnant, but the truth is,after a while it can become an emotional roller coaster.

Deige, glad you are feeling better, sorry DH has the "man-flu" Woo Hoo to a healthy BMI. Mine is still over,and it hasn't helped that I have been having the damned metallic taste in my mouth which seems worse if I drink water and only better when masking it with food. It is why I always put on weight in the first trimester. If this metallic taste isn't pregnancy I shall have to go on a serious diet....

I still have high temps! I can hardly believe it. According to fertility friend I am 13 dpo (but I think I might be 12), I will have a look over my charts, but I can't recall having temperatures remain this high at 12 dpo, that's when they usually drop before spotting and AF a day or two later. But the boob tenderness has almost disappeared, however they are very veiny and I don't recall them looking like that in a long time (not even last month when I did get a bfp). I also had another very clear dream, this time I was offering my moses basket to my sister. Seems to me all the dreams I have are about someone close to me being pregnant. Never me

So I still have my fingers crossed, but also I am preparing myself emotionally for AF so that the fall isn't so bad. I know in other pregnancies the tender breasts would come and go, so maybe?...However, last night when I got in from work I did another first response test and it was clearly BFN. I didn't bother this morning (after getting up at 4 am with DS who wet my bed (eww!) and I had a wee, so I thought FMU wouldn't be all that concentrated). It is just a case of wait and see.

mattsmama, your boob symptoms sound very promising. When will you test/is AF due?

I have fingers crossed for at least three bfp's in the next week or so (one of them is mine, ok??)

Wishful thinking for me I'm sure Gum. I was a couple of days late last month so might be a bit early this month to make up for it. It would be typical though - hardly dtd at all & certainly not enough around ov. Have had coffee on a drip for the last week which I would normally try not to do during the 2ww. Would be amazing to get pg under those circumstances after trying so hard for the last year! Am resisting the temptation to test though - fed up with the bfns.
Your temps sound very promising Gum you are more fertile after mc so you could well be. Don't they say you are less likely to mc again if you get pg quickly after mc too?
Fionah I know I keep banging on about it but acupuncture or reflexology is meant to be very good for regulating cycles and stimulating the ovaries. Might be worth a try alongside the medical treatment you are having.
Hope it is easy for you Wednesday. Everything crossed for you.
DH is out of hosp but lying around on the sofa & moping about!! I have very little patience with him I'm afraid - if the drs say you're fine then you're fine so get up & get on with it!
He had his birthday in hosp so I've booked us a couple of days away, leaving tomorrow. Hopefully that will perk him up a bit. Not easy having dd in a hotel room though because she goes to bed at 7.30 & we're stuck in the dark trying to be quiet. Not even ovulation time so no point in having sex ha ha. Have a lovely weekend everyone x

Gum AF due next Friday thereabouts so I am gonna try and hold off POAS till Tuesday and will probably POAs every day onwards then. Those BFNs are so demoralising though not sure if I can go through same scenario as last month : ( Also not sure if the nipples feel as tingly as yesterday so just really trying not to get too hopeful and read into every twinge (yeah right - cos that is exactly what I am doing : /

grizzer. Your update made me laugh with reference to no need for sex as not ovulating. Ha ha. Enjoy your time away. Everyone else have a great weekend xx

mattsmama, I hope you get your bfp this time.

It's not to be for me this month. My temperature dropped this morning,and though AF isn't here yet, I know she will be.

I think I am more disappointed this time than last time when I actually had a bfp and lost it. It doesn't make sense, but then, not a lot does when ttc. I feel cheated - why have those strong symptoms for two weeks only to be let down? Will I have to experience the same sorts of annoying symptoms month after month until menopause (which may not be all that far away)?

I have spent a good part of the last 7 years ttc (7 months to conceive DS, then started again when he was 10 months old, April 2009). I have always believed that perseverance is rewarded, but clearly it can't always be the case.

I have so much to be grateful for, and I am. I do realise how lucky I am to have my beautiful DS who might never have happened without three years of convincing DH to have a vasectomy reversal. So I do realise how lucky I am. It doesn't take the disappointment away though. I am sure many of you understand. I have put off many things, thinking, I will just have this one last baby first. But it isn't happening. If nothing else, I have learnt compassion for others who suffer infertility. Though I will never really know how awful it is (as I have had five children), I do understand what it is like to long for a child who doesn't come, to have you heart broken with hope and loss,and the disappointment of AF or BFN month after month.

I spent time in the garden yesterday which is good for my soul, I will spend time today planning what I will plant, getting hold of some soil conditioner, etc, then maybe go into the garden centre and pick some things up. At least I can let my nuturing spirit work in that part of my life.

Where to from here? I just wish I knew. I still don't want to give up, but it seems futile.

Ahh damn it gum Just take time to absorb this disappointment though; in a few days time I'm sure you'll feel better. That bfp last month, and the continued high temps this time, do bode well though, don't you think? Your garden sounds wonderful - is the snake visitor still a problem? xxx

Thanks Diege. Yes I do think that the high temps is a good thing. I think I may have had another chemical as I was throwing away last week's tests and noticed that the one I did on Thursday morning actually had a faint pink line.

I am feeling quite fine now that AF is here. DH and I are in town having lunch after going to a funeral. Certainly puts things into perspective. One of my colleague's wife died after an awful battle with cancer. I know I have much to be grateful for.

The snake has probably gone into liberation as the nights are getting very cold (at least that is what I tell myself. Day are still warm though). I will collect plants after lunch. Food's on the table better go...

Morning all.
Well this is my third attempt at posting. Two looooong posts typed out on my phone over the weekend just wouldn't upload, so I'm trying again on the laptop.
Gum I feel your disappointment. :( . Do you find that having got that BFP it gives you encouragement that the golden egg still lurks in there somewhere?? Your high tempscertainly sound encouraging.

Jbrd hows it going with you?? I hope things are on the up re. test results.

Hello to all those who have joined. I dont post so often nowadays, in a vague bid to lessen the ttc obsession that I find so easy to fall into lol.

We still haven't heard weather or not we will be passed for the IUI and semen freezing (for when DH goes on tour) however the clomid seems to have done its job this time and I am currently 2-3 dpo.

Some of the guys left for their leg of the tour last weekend, and watching the status' on FB of their wives has really brought it home to me that it will be me soon......dreading it with a passion. Work has ramped up for DH in the training period before going away, so he is working longer hours and away on exercise frequently, not great for BD timing. However this time we seem to have covered all the bases so fingers crossed.
I havent even had a sniff of a BFP since the mmc in January last year. I am slowly coming to terms with there maybe not being a baby. However it can be hard to look to any fututre plans as there is always that "what if".

On a brighter note we have booked our holiday back to the Caribbean for July so that I can finally meet DH's family. So excited. We are moving house mid June (still in NI but to another base) ..holiday 3 weeks later, then DH leaves mid August, so a busy Summer.

AF arrived for me too. Going to a wedding on Sunday so at least it'll be over & done with by then. I can also confidently down the champagne without any guilt. It's hard to deal with the monthly disappointment & I am constantly eyeing people pushing prams with ill hidden jealousy but a little perspective - took dd to get curtains for her room & obviously included a cafe visit in our trip. She sat for a few minutes & then announced 'some people don't have families.' I know she was referring to people sitting on their own rather than making some poignant statement but given the timing, it made me realise I am lucky that I have managed my mini family. She did follow it up with a 'why aren't I a big sister yet?' question later that day but I'm used to that now!!
Ooh Calibee liking the sound of the Caribbean. What a lovely distraction to look forward to.

Hi Ladies - this is actually MATTSMAMA but due to the password reset I have had a lot of trouble resetting for some reason - so I have had to rejoin under another name!! Nothing ever straightforward where I am concerned!

So sorry AF arrived GUM and GRIZZER - that feeling of immense disappointment is just so horrible - if your like me you'll already be planning the next couple of weeks - onwards and upwards. I am still in the 2ww limbo - caved and tested today but bfn. I know it is too early but what the heck - still annoyed with myself for lack of patience. I really don't know what to think to be honest. One minute I am convinced I am pregnant - then the nipples don't feel as sore so I think I am not. Then I give them a prod and they feel sore again. Had on and off mild cramping past few days but then I had that last month : / The wait continues......

Grizzer comiserations re af :(. Its good. You can look for the little positives though....drinking champagne is a definate in my book.
Mumof2 this heartbleed thing on mumsnet just made the evening news. Every month I set myself the task of not testing before say 12dpo...I have yet to fulfill that task. The urge is just too strong for me.

Do any of you know of a good allround supplement? All I take now is a Wellwoman conception ( when I remember) . I have looked into Ovaboost etc and dabbled with COQ10 for a while, however I just find these "fertility specific" supps to be hugely expensive and could easily spend a small fortune per month ttc.

Hi ladies.
Calibee, it is lovely to hear from you! I am glad the clomid did the trick this month, I really hope this is the one for you so that you don't have to go through the IUI and frozen sperm, though it is an excellent back up plan. Your holiday to the carribean sounds wonderful.

Grizzer, that is definitely an upside - the champas - I would have liked a glass of something yesterday when we went out for lunch, but we went to an unlicensed cafe and had to drink water! I plan to have a nice big glass of white at some point. Probably when we catch up with friends over Easter.

mumof2, I am already planning this cycle. Clearly I haven't given up. Cali, I think it is true that the chemical pregnancy (and possibly another this month) has got me thinking there might be a chance, and if I don't try,I will never know. DH is going away early next week, which will be about CD 9 and 10, so he'll be back in time for ovulation which is a relief.

calibee, I just don't know about supplements. How can we tell what is 'snake oil" and what is genuinely beneficial? I do believe that IVF clinics try to prepare patients by prescribing high doses of CO Q 10 - up to 800mgs a day.Also, not just any co q 10 will do, it needs to be ubiquinol, which is a form that the body will take up better apparently. I've recently started taking something called ppq after reading that it is really good for egg quality.

The Zita West supplements sound really good,and I did try them for a month, but that are very expensive, and I really don't know if they are any better than a general multi? I think a lot of multi-vitamins don't really have enough of certain things when you are ttc. I have taken a pre-conception supplement (an Australian one - Blackmores) but when I asked my naturopath about it,she said the prenatal version (Blackmores pregnancy and breastfeeding) was better. So I take that one daily. I am willing to bet your Wellwoman sup is fine. My naturopath recently told me to take "methylated" B vitamins (apparently not all vitamins are equal), and she said (in an email) "N- acetyl cysteine can be a valuable addition for ovarian responsiveness and of course zinc as its such a critical part of hormonal health. Aim for some positive meditation or imagery daily, even 5 minutes can be really beneficial!"

I haven't bought any of the n-acetyl stuff or zinc, but I guess there is zinc in my multi.

I am on another ttc thread on an American site, on the first page here is a list of the sups everyone has tried. It is ridiculously long, but you may be interested

I am taking my DD's to see our GP today - the one who was so excited when I told him I was pregnant last time . I hope he doesn't ask in front of the girls, though I imagine he'd be discrete. My eldest DD has Ross River Virus, which is a long illness that makes you feel very tired and sick. Poor thing. There's no treatment, but today we'll get blood test results and see if there's anything we can do. It is a bummer for her to have this during her last year of school with tertiary entrance exams etc. My youngest has terrible period cramps month after month, so I want to see if there's something we can do. Poor thing, she's only 13, but every month is painful for her.

Seems I've written a novella, so time to say "bye". Have a lovely day

Hello all

Excellent news my end.....came home from work yesterday to a letter giving the go ahead for IUI. Consultant said he would discuss more in our review appointment (no idea when that will be however). Call me pessimistic, but I sense a "but" in the toning of the letter.

Thanks for your input on supplements gum...I will maybe take another look at the Ubiquinol. I just begrudge the cost of some of these things. I could easily throw over £100 a month on ttc. Of course it would be worth it to get a take home baby, it just all seems such a lottery.
So its off to work for me today. I did an extra day yesterday to attend an induction day.....zzzzzz. Dh is home for the Easter holidays and currently snuggled up in bed, which is very hard to leave.

Do any of you ladies have trouble with temps due to constant waking at night? I swear I wake just turning over sometimes. Last night I saw the time at 2, 3:30 and 6am before waking at 7am. I can usually see a tempshift in my charts but wondered if it sometimes contributes to the spiky temps I get at times. I have crosshairs at cd16 and today (cd20) my temp jumped from 36.45 to 36.86.

I'm back as MattsMamma (albeit slightly different spelling)! Thought it would be less confusing but now no so sure lol!!

Day 26 and negative fmu with first response : ( Although my nipples still mega sore (normally just sides of boobs when af due) I am trying to be realistic - deep down thinking its not my month again but hoping beyond hope it is. Next two days will tell!

Calibee - that is great news : )