Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Feeling a bit fed up. Haven't dtd since Monday. Got 2 almost identical lines on ov stick today so will ov in the next day or so. Dh out with colleagues drinking since 12 so he'll be no use at whatever time he crawls in. Can't believe I'm out this month already. Might have to have a glass of wine.

Hi Fireflies, it has been ages! How is you Little One? Tell us all your news. How long have you been ttc? Or are you just starting?

Grizzer, poor you, I know that feeling of despair. No chance at all that DH could perform after a few drinks? My DH is usually pretty keen when he's drunk, but I prefer to avoid the wine breath and fumbling...You may still have a chance, don't give up completely - you could ovulate in the next 48 hours, so it's worth waking him in the morning

I thought I felt some ovulation grumblings last night, but opk was negative. DTD anyway, just in case I'd missed the surge earlier. Temperature isn't up this morning, so I will endeavor to keep up the SWI til the temp goes up. Because of the chemical pregnancy last cycle, ovulation could be later than usual, I have to wait and see.

It is Saturday here, so I will be taking DS to his swimming lesson,and will do some laps myself. Then I will treat him to hot chips (and try,try,try to keep my hand out of his chips ). Might also hit the op shop to find some bargains.

Have a lovely day .

Managed to dtd this afternoon. Committed the ultimate crime of putting a DVD on for dd & abandoning her (it was a quickie!) I know that's terrible but I'm desperate & to be fair, once beauty & the beast was on, I don't think she even noticed we were gone.
So it's all a bit weird - my cycles are nearly always 31 days although last one was 33. I always get a positive opk on day 14 so assume I ov on day 15 or 16. This month I seem to have had a pos opk on day 13 & today it's much fainter so only positive for one day. If it's fainter today does that mean I ov'd yesterday or could I still be ov today? Seems strange to have one positive when everything you read says you ov 12 to 48 hrs later. The advice I liked the most was to dtd for the 3 days after surge so by that theory I'm not too late?!
I'm already thinking I've missed it so not to even think about the 2ww but the crazy part of me hopes if I think I missed it it'll be my month for a pleasant surprise.

No, Grizzer, you probably are spot on on timing. Pos OPK indicates OV today or tomorrow, the egg lives about 12 h and it takes sperm to crawl up there about 7 hr. If the egg is useful and sperm chirpy,no problems. You have a 2ww coming up IMO

Can I ask all you wise ones if any of you have tried acupuncture for fertility? I've just had my first session and will be focusing on increasing blood flow to the uterus and lengthening my luteal phase, currently 11-12 days. Anyone have any experience of acupuncture? I'm a newbie to it so keeping an open mind and everything crossed it works :)

Thanks Jass you've made me feel much better. Really couldn't stand the thought of missing a month!
Inshock I'm having acupuncture for IBS but she also focuses on fertility. No luck yet but I went last week & she said she would like to see me at ovulation & implantation. So far, I've only been on day 6 or 7 (not too sure why but that's when she's told me to go) & then at ovulation. My acupuncturist has now asked me to go around implantation as that is something we haven't tried. It is an expense as this is now 3 times a month but I'm going to try it until the summer.
I'm just not sure how it works if I'm ov today but don't go until Monday - I wonder if she can still do something or have we missed that stage.
I have a friend who was just about to start IVF & she got pregnant naturally - she swears by the power of acupuncture. It is a lovely hour anyway, very relaxing.

Inshock, I wrote about my experience with acupuncture up thread. I really like it. I don't know if I can claim it has made any difference to fertility, and I can't say it stopped miscarriages as I've had four whilst be treated with acupuncture (but I put that down to old eggs).

I've heard tonnes of anecdotal evidence that acupuncture does work and I feel it cannot hurt (except the hip pocket, but then again most of us are itching to spend money on something if we have a chance of having a baby I think). I also find it really helps me with stress and that can't be bad.

Recent findings re: supplements: a new one I've not heard of before which is supposed to be as potent (if not a whole lot more potent) than CoQ10 - which is used by fertility doctors to improve egg health. It is called PQQ Apparently the mitocondria are the issue in egg development - I'm not entirely sure, but the pqq sounds pretty amazing,so I'm giving it a go. I can be the guinea pig, but maybe I'm not the best test rat as I am so old? Anyway, I have spent my hard-earned ebay cash on some.We shall see if it makes a difference.

AFM, still no ovulation. Temp still low, no sign of fertile mucus, and negative opks. So I guess it is just a matter of waiting and keeping up the SWI, which isn't easy when we don't usually have all that much sex. If I start badgering for lots more DH will a) think it is christmas, and enjoy or b) get very suspicious and hold back. Let's hope it is a) I guess my cycle is screwed up with the chemical preg? Any clues, ladies? I am on day 15 and I've usually O'ed by now. I suppose it depends how long it took for the HCG to get out of my system.

Enjoy your Sunday...Oh, is it Mother's Day in the UK? It isn't here. If it is, I wish all you mums and mums to be (that includes everyone ttc) a wonderful day of love and pampering and fun

I fell asleep on the couch the night of CD8! So is the SMEP ruined? We DTD CD9 morning...

Chtistmasbaby,SMEP is far too demanding anyway - why dtd dsily if sperm survives for days? So, no worries :-)

Gum, even if hcg got out of the body quicly I have noticed anovulatory cycle often follows chem pg. No idea why, but it does. Sorry:-)

Inshock, imdid accu twice a week for about half a year, and miscsriied 3 times in these months. I had no pos effct on LP neither, supplements worked better in this sense. But my accu specialist was not specialised in fertility issues, unfortunately

Hello to all...old and new.
I thought I would just pop in to see how you were all doing and update you. Its great to see new faces. I hope we have some lovely BFP's to share very soon.
My cycles without clomid still continue to be erratic, although I have seen a definate improvement having lost nearly 4 stone in weight. I still use the clomid on the times when we think DH will be around (although he is away so much at the moment with training prior to deployment in Afghan in Summer).
Have to say I love the NHS over here....a much. much friendlier bunch than the clinic I had in England. We had a really productive meeting with our consultant at RFC (Royal Fertility Clinic) last week and he has suggested IUI using DH's frozen sperm when he goes away. As we are strictly speaking out of the criteria for NHS treatment he is having to take it to a clinical meeting for the final decision.Very nerve racking wait....eeek. My FSH mysteriously dropped from 20.5, 2 years ago to just 10 (could this be the weight loss??) so the only thing against us is my poor AMH result ...and of course my age. Fortunately DH's age is a plus and his SA was above the required count for freezing.
Life in NI is good. I struggle with being an Army wife, I'm way past the silliness that seems to cause such excitement between the younger wives, but since starting work I have found myself much less invovled with the who's who's and where's where's (Thank Gawd).
I also find I miss my DC's far more than I had ever imagined was possible. Mothers day has been difficult. However they are all doing so well. DD1 is happy and ready to return to work after maternity leave. DD2 just started Uni this last week....she is doing a nursing degree and DS is settling in really well at college. I feel appeased knowing they are happy and supportive to me being over here and that I have given them all a good enough grounding to maintain a stable, balanced and succesful life of their own.

Christmas I've tried SMEP and gave up every time - too exhausting! Good luck!

cali Lovely to hear you! Good to see that life in NI seems to be treating you well. I remember you were thinking about a change of career, has anything happened? And well done for the weight loss, that is very impressive!
Fingers crossed that they will decide in your favour about IUI treatment, that would be great.

After a great scan last Tuesday, I had rather sobering news later in the week. The combined screening (age, nuchal fold measurement and bloods) have come out with a high risk (1:17) of Down's for this baby.
And just when I was thinking I'm so glad I did it, the news came that the Harmony test failed

I will get another nuchal scan tomorrow at the FMC and will ask for a repeat of the Harmony, but it is all very worrying. I really don't want an invasive procedure, but at the moment it looks as if I'll need a CVS or amniocentesis to get the certainty I want

jbrd sorry to hear what you are dealing with. Try to take it easy for the time being. Simply being in our age group gives riskier results because of stats, though, for example, more Downs children are born to 20 somethings. The more invasive tests are much safer than they say. They are obliged to state a risk but it is actually very low.

Must read up on PPQ.

Another quickie from me as on iPad and typing soooo tedious. Fertile thoughts to all. (Btw, i was a reg on here until had DS, now a gorgeous 21 month old. He absorbs most of my time/energy. Am 44 now and hoping for DC2)

JBrd sorry you've had worrying news but try not to worry too much until you know for sure. When I had my scan with dd I was given a 1 in 2 chance of downs but they actually said they were giving me those odds because they can't go higher but she was almost certainly downs. I had a cvs & she wasn't downs so they said it must be her heart. It was a worrying time & when I was giving birth drs were waiting to take her away expecting her to need special care & surgery within a couple of days. They brought her back within 5 minutes saying she seemed fine. 4 years later & I've still no idea why all the tests showed something badly wrong. We haven't managed to find anything wrong with her so far!!
I've had 2 cvs procedures. I always swore I'd never do it but when faced with 6 months of not knowing & being able to prepare, I had to do it. The dr said the risks were 1 in 100 but he has performed at least 500 tests & has never lost a baby. He said the odds are much better than they are allowed to say. Not sure why but I guess they have to be careful. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way but these tests seem to show up the same results for anything from downs to a cleft palate (which of course is not ideal but fixable). Hope it's all ok x

JBrd , these odds are as they are - odds. We are old. I hope harmony repeat will help you, and if not, then amnio seems safer than CVS. You would be pg enough for an amnio until second harmony comes through. Sure it will be sorted, life can not play another trick on you after these mcs!

Calibee, good to hear you are at a good place and in good hands!

Hello ladies..
I am not updated with the thread.. But I just want to send some encouragement to jbrd..I had an increased risk for down
during this pregnancy but then it was negative at harmony and amniocentesis,..
Screening test is known to give lots of false positives. I hope harmony will work this time and give you back some peace of mind..
I know what you're going through.. Sending you hugs!!
I am waiting for the results of my second MRI within

jbrd sorry that you are having such a worrying time . I have no words of wisdom but the other ladies speak a lot of sense. Your age alone will automatically put you in the high risk category so it is far from certain. I really hope the harmony test works this time and can give you some peace of mind - when will you get the second test?

Good to hear from you calibee sounds like you are getting some good care in NI - let's hope it does the trick - and an excellent idea that they can do IUI with DH sperm when he is away that must take the pressure off? Did you get that job you were talking about?

Hi mozz how are you doing? Fingers crossed for you.

Welcome back fireflies

We have my first appointment re egg donation on 22nd - first consult and (another) transvaginal scan...then another follow up consult on 2nd May, sperm analysis and counselling session (mandatory before you can be accepted for treatment due to the complex issues involved which I think is a good thing but obviously DP would rather saw his own leg off that talk about his feelings with a stranger ).

Still trying au naturel this month but who knows what my ridiculous post MC cycle will be doing? Last month CBFM was High all month and this it asked for a stick on CD6 and showed another high so looks like a repeat - FFS! Currently CD7 and suspect it's going to be a looooong month......

On the plus point my period although quite heavy was virtually pain free when normally I am mainlining pain killers- that acupuncture seems to have done something

Jbrd, ((hugs)) honey. I am sorry you have to go through this worry, but I'll bet it is just due to the numbers (especially age) on the page rather than anything definite. It is a bugger the harmony didn't work. I hope they're doing the second one for free.

I understand your reluctance to have an amnio or cvs. I felt the same way when we had high odds of trisomy 13/18 with my last baby. I was sent to a fetal maternal specialist in the big city - a professor, and I am so glad my dr sent me there. Before performing the amnio she did a very,very thorough scan (at 17 weeks) and was able to tell us that our baby looked perfect (definitely not trisomy 13 or 18, which is what we were concerned about), and when I asked if I could skip the amnio, she agreed that the scan was enough. I am not sure if they'd do that in your case. I guess if I'd had to have the amnio it would have settled any doubts we had or confirmed the test results.

How did the scan go? You said you were having another one and I am guessing you would have had it by now? I've got everything crossed for you.

Calibee, hello, it is lovely to hear from you. I think the IUI is a great idea, at least you can be trying even when DH isn't there.

Green, glad to hear that your appointment is soon, it is very exciting. As for the CBFM - how frustrating to have 'highs' consistently - not very helpful - would opks be better? It is nice to hear that acupuncture has helped your AF, it did the same for me.

Jass, I don't think I am having an annovulatory cycle - I got a + opk, and my temperature has risen - looks like quite a normal chart to me, just ovulated a couple of days later. Timing was just like last month, so now it is a case of wait and see. After my first chemical pregnancy it took two years to get a bfp, so I am not exactly optimistic If I am lucky this month the due date is 21st Dec (exactly a month after the due date of the CP) - I'd love a little Christmas baby...

Mozza, it is good to hear from you. When will the MRI results be ready for you? How far along are you? Are you able to enjoy the pregnancy at all? I know it is a terribly worrying time for you, I just hope you can enjoy it in some way.

Looks like the sun is out today, so I shall try to enjoy it. Having year 10's period six (last one of the day) will be quite a challenge, they are the lower ability kids, some with a really poor attitude, and they are difficult. The other day one of the boys said to me (after, admitedly, I made a sarcastic comment to another kid), "You're a real smart-arse aren't you Miss?" My reply:, "No Lachlan, it is called wit, but you might find it a bit hard to understand. And by the way, there are better words to use than 'smart-arse'".

Ahh the joys....

The SMEP had another obstacle- DS1 watched "The Orphan" and a sleep over, it "freaked" him out, now he keeps waking us up, worried, in the night, cutting into our alone time. How do people co- sleep with DC and still manage to TTC? Also, I was thinking that I almost never orgasm, which I have read makes the sperm travel better.

at, not and

christmas, I have co-slept for ages. But we have two big beds in separate rooms, so we "visit" each other for conjugal stuff! I guess it just involves planning. And yes, there's been many an interruption over the years, but we laugh it off and once DS is settled, get back to it

As for orgasm - I have heard of women having the same issue and being concerned about the sperm, personally I don't think it will make that much of a difference, however, I've heard of women using other means (masturbation or vibrator) to "seal the deal" after their DH has done his bit, soley for the purpose of helping the swimmers do their thing.

Think about all those accidental pregnancies where sex happens in the back of cars, standing up against a wall etc,etc, there's no popping a pillow under the arse for 20 minutes, or legs up the wall caper. It's all "wham,bam, thankyou, ma'am", and still they get upduffed. My sister got pregnant at 40, on the pill, whilst taking anti-biotics, in the back of her boyfriend's car having a quickie...so don't stress too much.

Afternoon ladies - I have lurked for ages following account problems, I used to be TigerseyeMum but now I am a Pootle. Thankfully I am now back not that I get much chance to post (and nothing interesting to say)

We're still trying to get upduffed - this will be our fourth year. I've had a battery of tests and seem to be ovulating, had endo lasered and in theory there's no reason why it can't happen...sigh...but it never seems to! I suspect my eggs have shrivelled up!

We're also seriously considering the adoption route but it's a long road ahead...

Hello, Pootle!

Jbrd has there been any updates? It must be hard not to worry till you know more.

CD16. Only managed to DTD 3 or 4 times since CD9. It is sad that I am unsure of the number- shows how memorable our couple time is!

Have two big spots on my chin- probably a symptom of eating too much chocolate

OMG - like I got a BFP this afternoon!! :-) Turned 40 in October, came off the pill in December to try for my fourth child (hence Hoping to Be Forth Time Mum), my Dad died tragically im January out of the blue, so haven't had many opportunities to dtd, but managed it earlier this month and now have a BFP!! Really cant believe it!

Wow Hoping congratulations! Well done you!!!

thx Pootle! Still in shock, but trying to keep my feet on the ground as i'm not due til tomorrow, so its very early! xx