Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

So I looked this up on the Internet and read that they both should be avoided during OV. Felt a bit guilty thinking I have wasted so much time and baby chances wallowing in hot water. But it really is my only time out, what with working, having DC already, three pets, a messy house and volunteer commitments. What do you all think about saunas and suchlike?

Christmas I asked my nurse at EPU about exercise and hot baths and she said moderate exercise is advised throughout ttc and hot baths are okay so long as you don't stay in so long you're light headed and pink when you get out :) so I guess that would probably rule out saunas as you're body has to work quite hard.

Thanks, inshock. Hope the stress is manageable. I am going to try using more techniques like mindfulness- just living in the moment, concentrating 100% on what is going on at the present, avoiding distraction by memories or worries. If nothing else, this should improve my sex life! As it is, I am always thinking while DTD, "Did DS1 brush his teeth at all today? What's that noise outside? Did I put the cat out? Are the DCs bikes in the garden? Will the laptop be hacked? What can I do to get the kids to spend less time on Minecraft? Where is that missing plane?"

Lol Christmas I find dtd so often I have to think of other things coz it's really getting quite boring :)

Jass - I am 44 too. Feels like I am talking about someone else as I really don't feel 44 except when it comes to ttc : ( I am out for this month. AF arrived half hour ago and I am thoroughly pissed off. Was really hoping this would be my month.

Christmas - can I ask why you take coconut oil? Been reading lot about it just lately x

short post ladies off to have another weep and a big glass of red x

Put asterisks either side of the name to get bold Christmas if you scroll down to the bottom of the page you get all the symbols. I've heard that hot tubs aren't good if pg but I didn't know about TTC. I thought that the heat thing only applied to men's bits! I had acupuncture today though & she was asking me if I got hot in the night & said the whole heat thing was important to control. I'm splashing out this month & seeing her 3 times - today, ovulation & implantation. We're only trying until the summer so I figure it's worth trying everything I can.
Sorry AF arrived Mattsmama enjoy that glass (bottle?) of wine.
I'm cd 7 today so starting my stint of dtd with a bit more regularity. My ov always seems to be timed with my mum coming on a Sunday night (she looks after dd Monday & Tuesday) so the slightest bed creak sets me into a panic! 41 years old & I don't want my mum to know I dtd! Maybe that's why I'm having no luck......

Re the sauna and sports - i conceived twice (and carried to term) while running marathons, training for it and doing quite a lot of sauna thing as well. When i started to experience mcs I tried stopping all that but i still miscarried etc. Now i run (far less as getting back into 60k a week habit is difficult when older) and do the sauna and generally all the other things i like (apart from eating wheat and sugar and cheese, but that mostly to maintain healthy weight rather than "pregnancy diet" even if it is suggested sometimes). I race down the ski pistes at 60km per hour in 2ww now, I would have never done so 3 years ago. I think the longer you are at it the more you give up on restrictions you might set yourself ttc.
Though, Grizzer, noisy bed/mother in house thing would be very offputting for me, too!

Spoke too soon about the strong constitution! I have been flattened by a stinking virus - probably what DS had last week. I feel dreadful. It started yesterday with awful tiredness and strong metallic taste in my mouth and nausea. So I thought my pregnancy symptoms had come back But it got much worse. Feeling a little better now, but not great...

My Dh has gone away for the weekend. Great timing. Man, I feel like we are having a streak of very bad luck.

Sorry for the whinge. Will be back later to read properly...

Thanks, Grizzer. Oh, no, Gum! Hope you are OK. I am going to try accupuncture, too, but I have to wait till payday. Also, yesterday I accidently ate a lot of M&Ms, and lost the box of Pregnacare in my messy house!

Almost my 44th birthday!

CD3- tried visualising. Spent time lying still, imagining DTD (mind porn) productively, getting a BFP, telling DH, posting here, worrying about MC, worrying about baby's health, attending clinic,growing bigger, telling everyone, having another c section, seeing baby, having DC visit hospital, bringing baby home, and setting up Moses basket beside my bed, getting up tired at night to feed baby...

Visualising is really the opposite of mindfulness, isn't it? Since mindfulness is all about the present, and visualisation is all about the future.

Oh, Mattsmama I just found coconut oil in the cupboard and remembered reading so many health benefits that I thought it could be worth adding to the mix! The taste is lovely, but the texture is less so

What do you all think about household cleaners that use bleach? My sister advised me avoid it when I was TTC1. Also, what about highlighting ones hair while TTC? Also also, Just remembered she also recommended taking a cough medicine (she is in America) called Robitussin

Robitussine might help with EWCM, if you feel you do not have enough.
Bleach i do not use, lemon juice and soda clean my house. All these smelly cleaning products have always felt like chemictry lab, so never use them anyway. And I stopped coloring my hair when 35 assuming i need to restart when grey comes in, so decided to take a rest if this. Still waiting though. I am lately suspicious about the influenza vaccine I had when there was this swine flu or sth scare in 2010. i went for vaccination because i got scared by the psyhotic media, I guess. And now I feel like this is what messed my immune system up and made me infertile. nothing doing about it though..... After all, was a true instadiffer (4 kids, teo concieved. on birth control, teo in first cycle after off pill or mirena). And then the mcs started in 2011, when started ttc no 5. First one was actually completed on jan 1, 2012. i was still rather innocent and wrote it off, no worries. But it continued and continued....Something rather sudden must have happened to make me infertile, and i so regret this flu vaccine now.....

Found an interesting website, with sections about coconut oil and fertility and evening primrose oil.

natural-fertility-info.com/preparing-for-conception-over-40.html

(Why isn't that blue?)

Jass how do you dispense the lemon juice while cleaning- in a spray bottle? Do you use bottles of lemon juice or squeeze the fruit?

I still colour my hair. I guess I am vain and can't handle looking my age I have lots of grey now and so I have foils to cover them up. The jury is out on hair colour, mostly what I read says it is safe when ttc. I would stay away from any cleaning products. It's mainly bi-carb soda and vinegar in my house. When the shower needs a good scrub with bleach I get DH to do it, but it's so seldom that I'm not too concerned.

I've been using coconut il for a while now - I cook with it, sweet potato chips done in the oven with coconut oil is amazing! Yum.

I've read that wheatgrass is very good for fertility - in smoothies, but I think anything dark green and leafy is good. I can't really stomach green juices and smoothies though, so I am sticking to leafy vegetables to eat with a meal.

Christmasbaby, are you taking a Vit d supplement? I believe it is very underrated when it comes to fertility. My acupuncturist was telling me that the levels that western medicine uses (here normal range is 70-90) is really low and we should be aiming for about 120-180. I live in a sunny place as you know, but even then, when I had my vit d level done it was about 60. I also read that in some ivf clinics, in preparation for ivf older patients are put on high doses of vit d and folic acid (5000mg rather than 500).

Right now I can't stomach sups, but as soon as I am well I'll get back into taking them,and the dhea regularly. When I said to my acupuncturist that I wasn't surprised that I lost another baby as I'm 47, she said she really doesn't feel it is too old and that with a regular cycle, I am still in the game. Traditional Chinese medicine says that 49 is about the cut off, and there are exceptions to that rule.

Wow, Jass, what you said about the flu vaccine is very interesting, and I can see why you would wonder about it. It is true that vaccines can cause the immune system to over react. I know you are very knowledgeable about auto-immune stuff, so I am guessing you are trying an anti-inflammatory style diet? I did it a while back - cut out all grain, dairy,sugar,alcohol and processed food. Tried to eat plenty of omega 3, healthy oils (olive,macadamia,coconut,grass fed butter), vegetables, limited fruit etc. It was great and I felt very healthy on it, but honestly, it was very hard to sustain. Do you eat dairy? TCM also advocates a dairy free diet, saying it causes "dampness" which is not good for ttc.

I've really let my diet slip since the last tww. I had an inkling I might be pregnant, so was carb loading like an athlete, when really I shouldn't be.I was eating a lot of gluten free toast, and still am.I've gotten into the habit, and already feel after two weeks of it, that I've put on weight and now, being sick, the only thing I want to eat is toast and vegemite (childhood comfort food). As soon as I am well I'll get back into a healthy regime.

I have been tempted to buy this but it seems very expensive ($197). I mean I wouldn't pay that much for a book, and I doubt it has more than a book would have in it. But, I do like Chris kresser - he's all about paleo, which I believe is a great way to live (I just find it really hard to sustain with a family). Anyway, I've been selling a few things on Ebay and I thought if I make enough money I could pay for it with the paypal money. I dunno, would it just tell me stuff I already know? Then again, $197 seems quite cheap if I do get a healthy baby . What do you think??

I have the day off work today as I am still not well, but I will probably spend a good portion of the day catching up on marking. Blah..at least it will make life a bit easier int he long run.

Have a good day everyone

mattsmama, I am sorry the bitch (AF) turned up. Hang in there. To me, 44 is still young!

Maybe $197 isn't all that bad. I paid about that much for a clearblue fertility monitor. Which I was able to resell on ebay (I bought and sold three over the last 5 years!).

They really should have a crazy woman emoticon. I'd be using it for myself, all the time!

No, Gum, I have only been taking Pregnacare (found it, but lost one of my boots- maybe the messy house is blocking my fertility). I will start taking vitamin D, though. It was also recommended on that site mentioned yesterday.

CD4 - ate lots of seeds with breakfast, and am going to the chemist today to get Vit D. I also looked up the SMEP plan and will try that this month.

I use lemon juice in the bottles you can by it in. Squeezable. I would never use tis lemon juice for food, too many E-s to preserve it. But for cleaning in house is good enough. I like the smell better than vinegar, otherwise would use that:-)

Yes, I am on this anti-inflammatory diet most of the time, I do not do dairy and go easy on wine, but I do allow my weekends to be a bit relaxed about it. I do not htink staying 100% on any diet is mentally good. I end up overeating exactly on the bad stuff. So, my body sometimes still gets "bad stuff", sorry:-)

On vit D, I do nto dare tot ake it as my doc said you can overdo it. I had it tested,was in normal range,so I steer clear. I will do no supplements this cycle at all and see how my cycle then behaves - is it accident that vit D and agnus castus seemed to lengthen it or not? CD1 here, so for a change am not rattling with all supplenets for next 3 and half weeks. I have a short cycle, comfy when ttc, in principle:-)

I buy Ecover cleaning products (which I think are more gentle) but saying that we have a cleaner and I am quite sure she uses industrial products as she gets the house looking way better than when we do it! I also think that for a lot of cleaning you can't do better than just using a bit of washing up liquid or vinegar for grease and lime scale.

Re diet I am vegetarian (lacto) so tend to eat a lot of fruit and veg,eggs, pulses etc but when I am being lazy I tend to fall back on lots carbs (potato, rice pasta) and cheese - which as my current weight will testify is not good for the waistline obviously nothing to do with the red wine I am quaffing either . I am glad that spring has nearly sprung - I eat much better when it is lighter and warmer and do way more exercise - I need toning up all over so have started shuffling running again.

So after a long chat, DP and I have decided to look into using donor eggs. I will be 45 in June and I think after the MC's and all the tests demonstrate that my eggs are just plain old and knackered . We have an appointment with a clinic on 2nd may to get the ball rolling. We considered going overseas but to be honest we would like any child born from a donor egg to be able to trace the donor when they get to 18 if they wish. I am a bit freaked out about it but kind of excited too - they say you only regret the things you didn't do! And a little part of me thinks we have had two FUFC pregnancies so maybe there might be a third

Green, I am so excited for you! I am sure you will have your THB going that route.

I've just come home from a great workout - swam 40 laps, 20 of them HIIT (high intensity interval training). Feeling a bit pleased with myself.

Jass, I am curious - what happens if you do overdo the vit D? I might have to find out, because I don't want to cause any harm when I am trying to make myself as healthy as possible.

Christmas, have you started the SMEP? I have - but I don't think I will be doing it properly - I will try to manage every other day until I am sure I have ovulated. I have started taking my temperature again, so at least I will know where I am at, and if I have ovulated. It leaves less room for confusion.

I am glad I went for a swim, it helps alleviate stress - there's been quite a bit at work and a tonne of it at home (my 22 year old son is doing our head in, but there's not a lot I can do about it).

Hope everyone else is having a good day.

cd6 today and feeling pretty awful, quite bad cramps and lots of cm, not sure if this is a good sign or not

A quick hello to everyone from me.

Green - I'm really pleased to hear you've made a decision. I think you're perhaps wise to think ahead about a child wanting to trace their origins.

Gum - well done on all the swimming. So good for the morale too.

I'm 46 in June and sadly my cycle is all over the place. I have just starting taking progesterone to bring on my AF after reaching CD59. I'm under a lot of stress at the moment - work mostly - and both me and dd have been ill over the last day or so. My mum really annoyed me by telling me i'm probably menopausal. Even if it is true, there are ways of being supportive (or not). Especially since she and my grandmother went through it in their 50s. It is making me feel ill which really is not what I need so fingers crossed my period comes soon.

CD6, so SMEP starts soon (day eight). Feeling a bit queasy lately, so will switch to a different multi- vitamin. Trying to eat lots of seeds, nuts and veg, but think maybe I am a sugar addict- just really want ice cream!

Last month, my breasts ached and my mouth tasted metallic. I was so sure I was pregnant, even after my AF arrived, that I POAS during AF, convinced it was an implantation bleed. Deluded behaviour,

Gum, too much d gives you sickness, vomiting. potential kidney issues. it has as a side effect calcium build up in blood wihich causes all these symptoms.

isadorable, sorry to hear that your cycle is being uncooperative, and that you are feeling unwell.

Have you seen anyone about the lack of AF? I know at our age, we are always told it is peri-menopause, but that doesn't mean we should just grin and bear it. Taking the provera (is that what you are taking?) should get things going, then will you take clomid to ovulate? If not, perhaps you could have your hormone levels tested, it may be a case of tweaking them to get things balanced. Have you tried acupuncture? I've also read about nettle tea which is supposed to help hormones,and I have read that some women who have completely lost their AF have it return after drinking the tea. Trouble is you have to drink about a litre a day of an "infusion"(which is strong tea) and it tastes yucky to me.

I have tried it in the past, when I was worried about estrogen being too low, but at the time I think I had some scarring due to the second ERPC which was stopping the bleeding. It has since resolved, but now I worry that it is causing my chemical pregnancies. However, my gut feeling is that my eggs are just not great and I will either hit a good egg or I won't.

Is, if your mum and grandmother went through menopause in their 50's I doubt you are going through it now. It's bound to be a blip that will resolve. Also, have you had the day 3 hormone tests, and the progesterone test at 7 dpo?

Christmas, your queasiness could be down to a change in diet too. I know what you mean about kicking the sugar habit - it's so hard. Sugar is a monster - so bad for the human body, but so damned yummy!

I know what you mean about testing even after AF turns up. But sometimes, it is actually implantation bleeding. My first pregnancy was like that. I had my period, admittedly, not as heavy as usual, but I got continually sick in the weeks afterwards, felt absolutely dreadful, and couldn't understand why . I went to the Uni doctor who decided I was pregnant right there and then. I refused to believe him, even after a urine test confirmed it. I insisted on a blood test. I was 7 weeks at the time and feeling really sick ( I guess the chain smoking,heavy drinking lifestyle didn't help, eww!). I was devastated as I was only 19 and I didn't have the baby. Anyway, the point is, I did have a bleed at the expected time.

A friend of mine also had what she thought was an early period (she was 42 and it was her last cycle of ttc) and was having a moan about how her periods had changed and she was probably menopausal. I said, take a test, and bingo, she was in fact pregnant! Her little one is now 3.

So, Christmas, not deluded behaviour...

It is a "fast" day for me, but all I really want is toast. Sometimes I think, bugger the fasting, I am ttc, so shouldn't fast. But I know I feel really healthy doing it and I did get pregnant last month whilst regularly fasting.
So I guess I am going to fast today, stop being a wuss and get on with it...

Just breezing in for a quick hello... been a while I know. On the 2WW.... already needing to chew my hair a lot. Waves to all.