Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Congrats squidgy! Lovely news, hope your second test confirms it.

As for me - well I told DP who was shell-shocked (a hand grenade is a good analogy) because he really doesn't want another. He has a much older son (17 this year) too.

He's said that he will support me whatever and that he'll be "in it 100%" but he can't really have a frank discussion with me because I know he's really not keen. As for me? Having a bit of a panic TBH! Not sure it's what I want, not sure it's right for us or our family and worrying because it's most definitely our last chance - DP getting himself doctored ASAP!

Hi Stow, great that you told your DP. Once the LO is here he will be fine. DP has a 17yo DD and a 13yo DS. DSD especilly adores our DS, although I suspect DSS feels a bit usurped as they live in a different country to us. I am however amazed how much the birth of DS brought us all a bit closer.

Well feel like a bit of an idiot as the pharmacy test was a BFN.
But not sure what to do as I am still 9 days late, and have a few other signs that I had with DS.
DP is actually more positive than me and says wait and see.
I think I will go off and google signs of the menopause

Sorry for the disappointment Squidgy, I did the same last week, saw a faint line after the time had lapsed & got very excited. Apparently it happens because the dye dries & leaves a mark which is why a time limit is on the tests. So gutting though.
Thanks for all the tips Gum, I was going to forego my acupuncture this month but I'm going to ring her tomorrow. Going to get some evening primrose too. My amazon parcel of conceive plus & ov sticks arrived today so back on it with avengence after the disappointment of AF!!

That's the spirit Grizzer! Back on the saddle and all that....

I have an acupuncture appointment today. I'm hoping she can stimulate the ovaries to produce a nice big healthy egg just in time for ovulation next week.

Squidgy, some of those pharmacy tests are not very sensitive. The best one to use is First response (IMO). Do you know when you ovulated? Are you taking your temperature? It really can make a big difference to understanding where you are at in your cycle. If you ovulated later than usual, then you may not actually be late yet, IYSWIM?

If your AF doesn't come and you still don't get a + test, see your GP for a blood test. I have had it happen a couple of times since DS was born, and had HCG blood tests to determine what was going on. In my case I had ovulated later than usual and that's why AF was "late".

I hope in your case it is just a late implanter and slow hcg rise - in which case you will get a bfp and a lovely little baby in 9 months time.

Thanks for all your kind words ladies. I think I have a long hard road ahead if I am to convince DP that this is a 'good thing'. Nevertheless he's not a quitter and I'm in no doubt about his support.

He's a SAHD currently and I honestly don't think he could do it with 2. We would need to think very, very hard about how our life currently works. There's no doubt that I'd need to go PT, and the truth is he needs to get back to work ASAP in any case. So much will change!! This is terrifying.

Sorry. Ranting on in probably not the most suitable thread. As you were.

Thanks Grizzer Glad to hear you are moving onwards & upwards.

DP has told me to lay off the test for a week and see what happens (It's a bit like crack obsessively testing every morning!!)

Gum that's really helpful advice about the late ovulation. DP and i were in separate countries for a month and DTD on day 24 of my cycle, so I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I remember feeling a really sharp pain in my ovary area about 2 days later - day 26.

I am now on day 39 of my cycle (it has never been this long; I am usually pretty regular, 28 or max 30 days), so actually only 13 days after when i could possibly have ovulated.

I am wondering if my cycle got messed up as I was in Asia for 3 weeks with DS, so all the time zones, flying and jetlag have contributed...?

I will wait till next week, then ask for a blood test. Thanks very much for the advice.

squidgy your DP is right to tell you to lay off the pee sticks but I'm an obsessive POAS-er myself so I'm hardly an example to all

It does sound like you're a bit all over the place this month. Still have the fingers crossed for you though.

Squidgy - good luck with not testing for a week!! I know I could not manage that being a POAS addict and the fact frer are BOGOF at Boots at the moment. Hope you get an answer soon x

AF due Sunday but this wait is really getting to me! Obsessively symptom spotting and of course POASing! this am FMU. - BFN ! Still in with a chance though as I know it's earlyish! Trying not to build up hopes but its very hard not to! x

Entering the dreaded 2ww tomorrow, after tonight we will have done all we can then it's just the waiting game, not looking forward to month after month of disappointment, I know I shouldn't think like that as it's out first month ttc #3 but I know it's what lies ahead

Hello again. Hope everyone is well. It wasn't to be for me I'm afraid. I didn't think so, I started bleeding over the weekend, but at least it didn't drag on and on, I've had missed miscarriages in the past, and they are just evil, you think your weeks into a pregnancy and really it all ended ages before. This way you know where you are and can get back on the horse, so to speak!

Hi Ladies,
Thanks for all your support, but, AF has arrived this evening. TBH it is exactly 14 days after i felt that ovulation pain, so I think I just ovulated late because of all the flying and jetlag...

Well now I have cracked open the pg tests, the next ones to road test will be the opk's am i addicted to peeing in a cup?

When I get the chance I will read back through the advice on this thread. I am being very philosophical about ttc a #2. If it happens, great, but I feel blessed to have my gorgeous DS.

So sorry wishingfor. I know exactly what you mean. It is just so awful to think you are so many weeks and to be told the baby stopped growing earlier. Although I didn't want to lose this pregnancy, it is much easier to lose it at 4+3 than 10 weeks.It is way too much time getting attached.

Squidgy, sorry to hear it wasn't your time. Keeping track of when you ovulate, if you can, really does help with peace of mind, especially when cycles aren't always perfect. Traveling can definitely make a difference to your cycle - and it is the delay of ovulation that makes periods late. Unless, of course, you hit the jackpot and get pregnant

I had acupuncture last night and my lovely acupuncturist was so sweet about my latest pregnancy. She's very "woo", and when I told her I'd dreamt of twins, she asked lots of questions (wondering if maybe I'd lost a twin and was still pregnant), but I am not, I tested yesterday to be sure before having acupuncture. She also said that my "spirit" baby is obviously trying to get through but there must be a reason that it isn't happening (yes, its my crappy eggs.) She suggests I do some meditation to see if it becomes clearer to me what I need to do. She did say, however, that she didn't have the answer for me, but she'll keep "tuning" me up in an effort to keep me calm and balanced.

Anyway, the acupuncture was great, just what I needed.I felt extremely relaxed and slept so well last night. Still having vivid dreams though - dreamt of a baby again

I've got physio today for a very sore shoulder. I've not been able to swim for over a week, and that's doing my head in, I really need the water therapy to keep my head straight Hopefully the physio will have some answers so I can get back into the pool.

mattsmama there's definitely still time for a bfp for you. Fingers crossed. Linda, hang in there, try to keep busy and the tww will be over soon.

Hello! I am a long time lurker and sporadic pm sender. Decided to allow myself to become totally TTC obsessed this month. Been fighting obsessing for some time now at almost 44 feel time is running out. Going to renew my efforts for a PLB! Today will drink less coffee, have a big walk, take pregnacare and extra folic acid, avoid chocolate and sugar, try to massage self, take evening primrose oil and set up some ovulation tracker. CD 1!

Lindamagoo - good luck with the 2ww - try and remain optimistic I'm sure it helps. It is so hard though I know x

Squidgy - sorry about AF showing up - It is such a horrible let down and massive disappointment when it happens. I'm half expecting mine any day and dreading going to the loo - pathetic I know but I can't help it : (

Gum - your acupuncturist sounds lovely and fingers crossed you'll be back in that pool very soon : )

I tested again this morning - negative so trying to remain realistic but optimistic at the same time if you know what I mean. Just want this 2ww wait over now though - it really is the quick route to insanity if your not careful!! Have a lovely weakened ladies whatever you are doing xx

Yay Christmasbaby !! So glad you are de-lurking and joining in on the madness!

I like your approach. It is a good idea to take it one day's worth of goals at a time. I will start with my daily goal list tomorrow morning, as it is night time here and I need to cook dinner. But I will take my folic acid, prenatal multi, fish oil, coq10 and Vit d with my fish and vege. I really feel like a rhubarb crumble, but I don't know if I can muster up the energy...

Another de-lurker here. I am 42 next month, have a 7 yr old adopted daughter and a 20 mth old miracle after 15 yrs of ttc. MC end of dec. Now 6 + 1 pregnant! Nervously optimistic! Is there a 40+ antenatal thread? Can't seem to find it! I had lost 4 st ....got down to 10 from 14 and hubby started to cycle to work. These factors seemed to be key for us for our first miracle. Kept at a sensible weight, took supplements and kept fit for No. 2. Good luck ladies and please let me know if there is an antenatal thread for us.

tigger Congratulations! There is indeed a 40+ antenatal thread, you are very welcome to join us! You can find it here

Hi Ladies,
am going to join in the fitness kick, definitely have weight to lose.

FWIW, A friend in the US had twins with her first pregnancy aged 45. She was on clomid, but also said that acupuncture, chinese herbs and something called DHEA (usually only prescribed in the US helped.)

um I am interested in the theory behind acupuncture (helping ttc) as I have heard good things about that and reflexology. Would you mind sharing?

Congratulations tigger, yours is such an uplifting story. Did the weight loss help by regulating ovulation?

squidgy, acupuncture works on sorting out "blockages" in the energy meridians in the body. I don't know if that makes a lot of sense, but I can tell you about my experience.

When I had my first appointment about 6 years ago, my acupuncurist (or TCMP - traditional Chinese Medicine practioner) told me that acupuncture doesn't work for everyone - some people feel nothing at all. For me, the first visit was amazing. As soon as she started putting the needles in, starting on my feet, I felt a rush of warmth travel up my body and an overwhelming sense of relaxation, to the point where I could barely speak. I was hooked!

The needles do not hurt, although sometimes she puts them into a spot that has a blockage and I'll feel a very quick sharp electric shock - so fast that it isn't really painful. Sometimes she says the point is too "strong" and will move the needle.

I keep going regularly because so much in my body has improved since I've been going. However I can't credit it all to acupuncture as I have changed a lot of other things too, like my diet.

Anyway, since doing acupuncture my periods are no longer painful. I had horrible cramping on the first day of my period, always had to take pain killers, but rarely do now. That may be down to growing older, but honestly, I noticed the change from when I started acupuncture. I think I also have a very strong constitution (she keeps telling me I have,anyway) because,despite a really full-on lifestyle - working full-time, large family, always very busy,and sometimes quite stressed, I tend not to get sick too often. I think the acupuncture helps by keeping everything in balance.

For ttc, acupuncture is credited with sorting out a lot of problems, whether they be hormonal, ovulatory etc. I read a really great book: The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis, which suggests acupuncture will make all the difference, so I decided to take the plunge. I don't know if it made any difference. But I do know my mum was fully into menopause by the time she was 45, and I don't feel like I am yet at 47.

I also find that acupuncture is a form of mental therapy too. My TCMP is so kind and acts as a kind of counsellor too. I also get to lie still for at least 30 minutes and she even throws in some massage sometimes (she started out in the US as a massage practioner). So I come away feeling very relaxed, nutured and renewed. It is definitely worth the $35 I pay ($30 is covered by my health insurance).

11dpo and bfn. looks like Agnus Castus sorted my lp, but changed my fertility. I have had less frequent chemicals on it. SHould I continue or stop? That is the question......i just feel like i do not want to bother.

WElcome to newcomers! I feel even on our thread with my 44 years I am getting among the oldest now. Not a problem really, I googled and found people unexpectedly pg in early fifties. What will be will be, anyhow!

Hey tigger that is an awesome story. Just wanted to add if anyone is considering what they are eating, that I too lost weight just before conceiving at 43 - I had just got my BMI into the healthy zone and was eating very healthily as well as doing lots of exercise. I was on myfitnesspal and I had seen a few times people getting pregnant as a non-scale result (can't remember the jargon they use there). I don't want to preach to anyone or add to pressure on people who are already doing their best but maybe it is useful info.

Hello again ladies, haven't been on here for a few weeks thanks to being made redundant so been frantically job hunting, so much for reducing my stress levels!

Welome all the new ladies and huge 'Congrats' to Stow and Tigger, I love hearing a good story :)

And heartfelt sympathy for some of you other ladies x

I'm in the throws of the 2ww again, bizarrely this month I'm lacking the pms symptoms I normally get.....trying not to get too carried away.

Just typed in an epic message and lost it all. This laptop came from Aldi- pre- recession, when they used to sell such things. Now it is old, like me. How do you get one anothers' names to appear in bold font? Actually, boldfont would be a cool user name. After I have the ChristmasBaby, I am going to change to boldfont.

Posting smaller messages to avoid loss. CD2- doing all I did yesterday, plus taking a big solid spoonful of coconut oil every day.

Reflecting back on my last pg (summer 12=MC) and trying to think of what was different. Realised that I was taking a break from the gym, due to tight finances.

Exercise is great, though, so what was the connection? Then I had what Oprah would call a "lightbulb moment" and thought of the sauna and jaccuzzi, where I spend more time than I do exercising!