Old birds wanna join the coop???

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Allo ladies! Wondering if there are any other over 35's (apparently the age of fertility suicide, who knew?) ttc for over a year wanting to chat? If so, pour yourself some virtual wine and let the chatting commence!

Happy birthday and happy holidays to Stubborn!

Notta- I agree that optimism waxes and wanes like the moon. In fact I'd bet there was some sort of pattern or rhythm to it!

Ginger- roll on 4th April for your appointment. What do you think will be next for you? My appointment is in 2 weeks (just before my 35th birthday) and I'm starting to think of all the questions I want to ask...obviously researching IVF vs IUI quite a bit too. It's scary and sad to be in this position. Would rather be researching birthday weekend getaways!

Fankle!!!! I had exactly the same during my January AF which was my 2nd cycle after the lap and dye - I've NEVER ever had an AF like it!! Like you, mine got lighter and I thought it was over. DD was at a play-date and I went to pick her up and I felt what I can only describe as, a flood!! I got home quickly and went to the loo and was sat there for AGES. There were some huge clots aswell (almost the size of my hand!!!), I have had two MCs and I never had clots that big. I also felt unwell...

I called the GP the next day and they said that it could be a result of the op but to come in because of the blood loss. By the next morning the bleeding had stopped and I felt perfectly fine, so I didn't go and see the GP.

Does sound like it could be to do with the op then!! Hope you're OK.

I should say Fankle that the next cycle was back to normal, although the OV this month (following the normal cycle) was about 6 days later than normal, but that could have been because I was ill with a cold...

Yes Katniss!! Oh I'm relieved to hear the same thing happened to you. Big clots- maybe not the size of my hand but long and thick (again, sorry). And just very fast flowing.

It seems to have slowed down today so hopefully the worst is over and I can look forward to a normal period next month- or no period at all preferably! I'm taking anything out of the ordinary for me as a good sign so trying to see this heavy period as a positive thing.

I do hope you get diffed very soon and that the stats on pregnancy after a lap prove to be true. I can't remember why you had to have a lap...was it due to endo? Or repeated m/c? Did they find anything wrong? I was quite surprised (and relieved) to hear they'd found mild endo with me. Just hoping that it will now ease the way for conception and implantation. Wishful thinking...

Well in my case they had done all the hormone tests and blood tests and all was fine, DH was fine and purely because of my age they said that they would do the one without anaesthetic. Then they found out that I had Chlamydia Antibodies, which meant that at one time in my youth, I'd contracted the infection and it had cured itself but the antibodies are then, hence there could be damage. So in that instance they do it under GA.

Also, the last MC was a weird one because I only got the BFP AFTER my AF, it had been a BFN before and the HCG level had gone up, even though I was bleeding, but not enough, so they suspected it might have been ectopic, so that may also have indicated a damaged tube.

But with the lap and dye they discovered that there was no damage at all, so I'm really glad I had it done because effectively, everything is clear and no reason why I can't get PG again.

How's everyone today?

mampam is the witch still at bay?

How are my fellow af's getting on? I'm trying to be good & stop with the binging (clothes scandalously tight, 2 wk residential course not helped). Congrats on the prog reading inshock, that's a nice, healthy reading.

katnis how'd you get on at drs?

Hmm, 3 of us getting AF at same time, think we're synchronising?

Hi Gingerbread,

Hope AF isn't causing you too much grief.

The GP said that she thinks the spot is infected and has prescribed a weeks worth of antibiotics. I have to go back after a week and if it hasn't improved, they will want to do a biopsy. She really does think it's just got infected though because there is a pus-filled (sorry tmi) head on it like a normal spot and apparently with skin cancer, that would be unlikely.

I did ask whether the antibiotics would effect TTC and she checked and they're fine, luckily!!

Hope everyone else is Ok today.

Katniss hopefully the antibiotics will do the trick.

Gingerbread the witch is still at bay but I'm still getting pains. Have realised that my last cycle was 32 days long so going by this AF is due next Tues/Weds but as I'm irregular we shall see.

Oooh mampam, maybe this is your month!!

So, do you ladies think this is a sign?? When I was at the doctors today she said that I was pregnant. I said "no I'm not!", she then said that she was confused and showed me my notes.

I had recently asked for a copy of my amnio results from when I was pg with dd to pass on to the pediatrician because they are testing her for a chromosomal disorder. The surgery had added a scanned copy of the report to my notes and the GP hadn't noticed that it was an old document. She was really embarrassed when she saw that we had seen a fertility specialist. I felt really sorry for her. Then...

I went to Asda tonight to pick up the prescription and the pharmacist handed it to me and said 'I see you're exempt from charges so there you go'. I left (saving myself £7.75) with no reason why I was exempt.

So, hoping these are both signs that I am pg and they know something I don't!!!

Now if that isn't crazy symptom spotting I don't know what is!! Lol

Lol! We'll if it turns out they were right that'd be fairly impressive. The 2ww is awful, I try not to symptom spot but its impossible.

Hi Gingerbread,

35 is not old!!! But know what you mean. - However I remember feeling 'past it' at 28 - it's all in the head. Women are quick to think the negative about themselves (I realise your comment was tongue in cheek) and this goes the same for fertility.

I am 41 and expecting my first in 3 months time. I've had no IVF but had to have a termination first time round (at 14 weeks) due to a chromosomal abnormality (TS13) which I was told was not really age related (It was a tremendously sad time though and my thoughts are with those who have had similar losses, it is unspeakably hard). I was 39. This time I held my breath for results on Downs etc. which came out as odds of 1:1734 which are longer odds than some of my 20 something friends! Once we were trying again I held my breath every month. I know how agonising ttc can be when your head is full of 'over the hill' stories.

I wanted to share a positive 'old bird' story as I think women ttc can go through hell at any age if there are problems (I have heard from some unbelievably brave women on here), and that there are so many factors which go towards conceiving you can't control, that in the end you should just be kind to yourself. It can take ages!

-And once you are pregnant, unless nothing has ever gone wrong, you will start worrying about miscarriage and abnormalities! (I hear you sizethree so no smugness here, it isn't over till the fat baby screams - and even then aghhh) When I got + result I was definitely not expecting it and had got used to bfn. Try not to worry at least about the age thing as you have plenty of time. When I went to see a fertility specilalist he said just do everything normally and don't forget to have sex! I stopped worrying about too much caffine, sugar or wine and just relaxed. That isn't to say relaxing made the difference (Hate it when people tell me to do that - makes me so tense!) just that obsessing about the other stuff really didn't either. In the end, if you have a medical issue this isn't cos you've left it too late; it's just the whole thing is such a damned lottery. I hope this adds some counter positivity to all the negative - pregnancy past 35 - press out there and I really wish you lots and lots of luck, you spring chicken! X

Earhat, thank you for your post. I'm 40 in June so your optimism really helps.

I second that.
Thank you Earhat for your optimism and happy ending story after a hellish time. Hope you enjoy the next 3 months of your pregnancy and all goes well

Hi, may I join in? Managed to conceive DS a couple of weeks before my 35th birthday, second month of trying. Now almost 37 and trying for No 2. Currently towards the end of the 2WW in second month of trying and obsessing slightly as now am two years older, it's so much harder trying to conceive when absolutely shattered all the time, wondering whether I'm doing the right thing trying for as second when DS doesn't sleep through the night...

Have a test upstairs but trying to keep away from it as think it's too early to test (day 27 of cycle, but have only had two AFs since having DS due to breast feeding).

Hope everyone gets their BFPs soon!

Hi Wuthering,

Ooooh at the end of the 2ww - fingers crossed for you!! If I thought I could have afforded to have two in childcare I would have tried sooner, but it just wasn't possible for us .

But fingers crossed by Xmas I will be pg!!

Good luck!

Thanks Katniss. We're going to struggle to be honest but it's just doable if we make lots of changes to our lifestyle, and it isn't forever. Am hoping that the changes to childcare costs next year help us too. Have decided that I'm not going to test for a couple of days - too stingy to potentially waste a pregnancy test!

Good luck for your BFP this year!

Katniss wouldn't it be a wonderful story to tell your child when they got older. I'm a true believer in fate so I'm Fx for you

I'm trying not to symptom spot (too much anyway). Belly pains don't seem as bad today and neither does the horrendous backache that came with it. I have been feeling a little dizzy and sicky but not like I'm I'm actually going to be sick and I am dog tired but then again I know there's a funny virus going around at the moment so it's probably that. Would be typical though as I'm just about to apply for a new job Will cross that bridge when I come to it!

Wuthering fx for you

Thanks earhat your story has made me feel much more positive. I'm 39 and I had a silent miscarriage in December which was my first pregnancy. TTC again and I'm pretty down as AF has come a week early and is very heavy. Unusual as I'm normally regular. But I need to remember I still have loads of time

Me too hate it when people tell me to relax like that is going to help

Thanks for sharing your story xx

Morning all,

Not feeling at all well today. The infection in my hand spread quite a bit yesterday but hasn't spread overnight so I'm hoping that the antibiotics are working. This morning I've woken with swollen glands in my neck and a mouthful of ulcers... It's just one thing after another. But for obvious reasons (TTC) I don't want to take too much medication. So I've got paracetamol to take and hope it works.

Wuthering, I know what you mean about avoiding testing, I've tested at ridiculous times so I definitely intend to leave it this month until I'm late. Assuming that AF is due 14 days after OV because OV was all over the shop this month!!

Paula, totally agree regarding people saying to relax, just ridiculous!!

Katniss, Frankel and Paula, I'm so glad it helped. To add to the positive, 3 friends of mine all had babies in the last 6 months - 37yrs 2nd baby (1st at 35) 40yrs 3rd baby (others born at 34yrs and 38yrs after 3 miscarriages in early 30s) 41yrs 2nd baby (other born at 39yrs). All of these women are professional, capable people and I hate it when women are deemed irresponsible for waiting - everyone has their reasons and it is worse to try when you aren't in a position to take on the responsibility. The research on fertility for over 35s is out of date. Take a look at an article by Jean Twenge ( just type her name into google + fertility) if you are feeling the fear, it is much more realistic. I really wish you all the best and hope you get the results you want in the coming year.

Paula - so sorry to hear of your loss. It takes time to recover physically which can be difficult when you want to move on emotionally. You do have time, and you know you can get pregnant, knowledge which really helped me when we had our loss. You have to hang on to every positive in this brutal ttc game! It took 10 months to conceive after the first time which is actually normal at any age, but I know feels like an eternity when you feel the clock is ticking. Be kind to yourself, it is early days. Lots of luck.xxX

Hi everyone!

earhat thanks so much for sharing your story, some much needed positivity. It made me take a look at myself and realise that ttc isn't a sprint, it's a Marathon. Also that lots of old birds have happy endings & while I may not be lucky enough for my shot, life is what I make of it. So gonna try not to obsess and focus on what I have rather than what I want. Will do everything I can to better my chances but life goes on and it may just happen on the mean time (fx).

So glad you shared your story.

Hi & welcome wuthering!

katniss, if you're unwell take the meds!!! You must be run down (I also get mouth ulcers when run down), I find sleep helps and, now this will hurt, I lick finger, dip in salt, place on ulcer. Starts to heal almost immediately.

How's everyone else getting on?

Thanks for that post earhat, totally agree. Sorry to hear you're unwell Katniss, totally see what you mean re medication but you should take it if you're unwell otherwise it'll take you longer to recover.

I realised that I got my dates wrong and yesterday was actually day 28, making today day 29. Am symptom spotting like mad so have decided to test first thing tomorrow (day 30). Wish me luck!

Keep hearing the phrase chemical pregnancy but don't know what it means. Is it something I should worry about?

I like your positive thinking Ginger. I'm trying hard to force the negative thoughts and sadness to the back of my mind as much as possible. We can't get so obsessed with ttc - am I right in thinking most people on this thread are still ttc #1? - that we completely lose sight of all the good things in our lives. So you're right: focus more on what you have and less on what you want.

Hope I can keep up this PMA!...

Went for acupuncture yesterday for the first time in 3 months. Gonna start going back fortnightly I think.

Yay fankle we can do pma!! We're all going to get down at times but we can support each other!

There's a mix, I'm ttc #1, but some such as stubborn & purple are ttc #2, mampam is ttc #4!

How do you find the Accupuncture? I went twice but kind of drifted away..

wuthering, good luck for tomorrow, fx! Let us know how you get on.