Old birds wanna join the coop???

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Allo ladies! Wondering if there are any other over 35's (apparently the age of fertility suicide, who knew?) ttc for over a year wanting to chat? If so, pour yourself some virtual wine and let the chatting commence!

[PaulaFletch14]

Hi purple

I'm using OPK, but never did charting. I'm ovulating which is good. We're going to Care Uk in Manchester in a few weeks just to check us both out for piece of mind. Going out of my mind. My DP has two daughters from first marriage and I hate it. Makes me feel more of a failure. And to top it off his sister who pretended to like me thinks I'm second best because I haven't got kids. Feeling so unhappy

[Starbright24]

Hi ladies. Thought I'd join you here as 38 and ttc #1. Thought it'd be easy but after nearly a year - still no bfp. (Possibly need a thread starting just so I can rant about dp)
Anyway. Signed onto this forum just yesterday and glad to be able to hear people's stories and experiences and to share my own.

Is it too early for virtual wine?

[Katnisscupcake]

Starbright Welcome!!! And after 6 years on here I've learnt that it's NEVER too early for virtual wine!! What's your poison?? A nice crisp glass of Sancerre for me!!!

So, looks like I may not be OVing at all. Still testing every day and now on CD17 and nothing.

We've been DTD every other night aswell which is unheard of - so the one month we do make a massive effort, I'm not OVing. Always OV on CD14 or CD15.

Just a bit gutted...

[purplemurple1]

Hi Paula Sorry to hear that - I also have sil issues lovely mil though so that helps. It will be good to get checked so you know what your dealing with kids from before doesn't necessarily mean it isn't your dp, after all - good he isn't one of those guys that won't look into it.

Is your sil is one of those - oh you've never been tired because you don't have kids types - they annoy me still and I've got one.

Hi star - glass of merlot for me please. What's up with dp?

Bad luck Kat - what are your plans for next month are you home during hopeful ov time? (just assuming we all travel for work sometimes).

I'm back on my hormone tablets to make me ov but no idea when it will happen and I've got lots of work travel coming up. So it's not looking hopeful. Freezer full of steak and the cupboards with booze so all is not lost. (Christmas booze delivery turned up in Jan I'm not really an alcoholic.)

[Gingerbreadlady1]

That's rubbish katniss, I'd be gutted too at missing ov, is there a chance you just missed the surge? How often you opk testing?

purple do you chart or opk test? Hope your cycle starts up ASAP, you doing ok otherwise?


star, welcome, nope, never to early. I propose shots! Rubbish, stressful day so I'm on it like a car bonnet!

paula, I found getting checked out really helpful, let me know there was nothing majorly wrong & I was put on clomid to regulate my cycles.

[PaulaFletch14]

Hi purple

I'm very lucky my DP is willing to get tested too. He's very supportive and wants a child with me more that anything. Just hope it can happen. I still think about my baby every day and just keep thinking I should be 20 weeks pregnant now

Gingerbread I'm hoping the tests will reassure me. I can't wait to go

This thread is brilliant nice to have support from other old birds

[duvetheaven]

Can I join? Hey Lagoona - you give me hope ! I am probably one of the oldest on here , 43? I have conceived twice in the past few months but unfort had two mcs before before 6 weeks. So am waiting for an app at private clinic. Still not sure if I am going down that route but I thought a consultation couldn't hurt? I have a DD5.

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Welcome duvet! All old birds most welcome. When's your appointment? I'm on 6 months comid (currently cycle 2) then thinking iui or I'vf.

[Starbright24]

I'll go for shots I think this evening although usually a merlot suits me fine. Or a classy pint of cider.
How long were any of you ttc before heading to doctor? I've been off contraception since last april but dtd very irregular and infrequent so can't judge how long been actively ttc. (Hence annoyed with dp - he doesn't get that dtd has to be more than 1 a month) upset this evening as last day on ovulation calender and he's upstairs snoring...grrr
still on the positive side, think I ovulated a few days early so could be on time fx
soz if too detailed and moaning tell me to shut up if I doit too much. Just a bit upset at moment.

[purplemurple1]

I'm Opk'ing thing I'll restart after I've had my first period so I've some idea of when to check. We were a little naughty and self refered after 6 months as I'd been opk'ing and hadn't ovulated for 5 months in a row so it stupid to just wait a yr anyway. (I'm not in the UK so here you just self refer to the hospital after a yr.)
So glad we just got on with it, it took the bext part of a yr to get tests, referals etc and then a few months on my tablets before they start working. Nothing painful (few bloods tests and internal exams for me), embrassing for my OH as he has to have some happy time at work in the loos which are shared with students (uni) as we live to far from the hospital for him to make it there from home, obv he went in very very early.

paula i know what you mean i do find myself wondering what if sometimes about this one and an eailer mc who would be about 8yrs by now. But in some ways I think they weren't meant to be and for my first mc at least it has given me a very diff life (better I think) not having a baby at the time. I hope to feel ths same about this one in time.

[Starbright24]

Stupid question - what's opk.
and so I could go to doctors in another month and ask for tests?
Gosh, can't wait to tell dp that one

[purplemurple1]

I just mean the cheap ovulation testing sticks you can buy on ebay or amazon, they work like preg test you wee on them around the time you expect to be ovulating to see if you are. (They are instructions on how to work that out on the packets, but you will need to know you're cycle length - days from period day 1 to next period day 1.) I'd go to the dr if it were me, and poss be a bit vauge on how often you dtd, it may be the cause but it may not, doesn't hurt to get some basic tests started either way.

Maybe the others can say if you have to have counselling in the UK, ours was with a kid barely out of uni and I was advised not to talk about timing etc to OH as doing it on demand can be a bit off putting. I'm not sure though seems a bit 'poor man with his tiny brain can't fathom ovulating and cycles best pretend we want to be at it like teenagers rather than watching CSI and having an early night'.
Otherwise it was a nice chat, nice girl - told us nothing at all useful but she learnt about somethings from us.

hi duvet

[Starbright24]

Figured out the opk..just being a bit slow there. Been on amazon and got some ordered as well as preg tests and thermomenter. Can't believe how cheap as I have been buying the odd test when needed from tesco. Anyway, all set up now. Not sure if that's super negative for this month or super positive for next lol.

Thanks for help purple. Think i'll see about talking to dp about doctors next month and like you say - be a bit vague.

[Katnisscupcake]

Hello all,

Welcome to all the newbies!!

Duvet, snap!! My DD is 5 in June .

So, weirdly, after completely giving up hope I THINK there was some EWCM when I wiped this morning and the OPK (albeit still negative) was slightly darker than it has been the last few days. So maybe it is just a very late OV due to me having been ill. We'll have to carry on DTD though just in case, that's the downside!!

Duvet, definitely do the GP appointment. I went and said we'd been trying for over a year but in reality, out of 12 months we'd probably only effectively tried for about 4 of them... They still got me in for all the tests though, including a Lap & Dye which is the last thing they can do on the NHS.

So, is anyone firmly in the 2WW yet? Don't know if I will even get there this month, but fingers crossed!!

[Starbright24]

4 dpo into the tww for me.

[PaulaFletch14]

I'm stressed by it all I've had two periods since my miscarriage and both times I've ovulated. This month I'm either late ovulating or there's something wrong. Clear blue flashing smiley face for five days. I'm at my wits end crying just so depressed. Feel like nothing to live for. Scared

[Fankletastic]

Hiya. Can I join in please? Not technically 35 yet but will be in 3 weeks so I'll be officially old

Been ttc #1 since sept 2011. One m/c in jan 2012. Then bugger all for over 2 years!!! I sometimes think I'm losing the plot, obsessing ALL the time, neglecting work and avoiding friends who are pregnant. I just want this to end! Soon!

Have had all the tests going on the nhs including a lap and dye last month. Katnis can I ask when you had your lap and dye? Did they find anything? I'm unexplained but they did find some mild endo. Could that be why I haven't conceived in 2 years?! They say the 6 months after a lap are the most fertile so I'm hoping and praying that it will happen naturally. Otherwise it's IVF or IUI. So that's why I ask when you had your lap....what's your next step? How long ttc for you?

Currently on cd 28 of a 30 day cycle. Have had mega sore boobs for 6 days in a row but no other symptoms to speak of. Apart from - prepare for tmi- 2 random globs of Ewcm 7dpo and today 12dpo (most unusual for me). Don't want to read too much into it but I'm basically unable to think about anything else.

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Hi fankle, please do join in, the more the merrier! I'm avoiding my friend a bit too as she's being induced on fri! So happy for her but soooo sad it's not me too, mixed emotions.


star, don't think you're being pessimistic, just organised & if you don't end up needing opk next month, result!

I'm 7dpo so firmly in the 2ww (although really a 12 day wait with my cycles), not going to test till day 14/15 as not too optimistic this month as not much dtd at ov due to being away for work (hence the earlier in thread discussion re: cross country dash, pure crazy ttc behaviour!!!)

paula you sound really down, do you have some good support in your life to help with all this?

kat keep opk every 12 hrs, also best not to use fmu but to test around 2pm (only found this out recently).

[Fankletastic]

Thanks for the welcome Ginger sorry that my first post was so long and detailed, blurting it all out! I only joined MN 2 or 3 weeks ago!

Lol at your mad dtd dash across the country. It's something DH and I have endure regularly these last 2 years. I often feel like a sex tourist, visiting places I'd never normally go to. Luckily I work from home mostly and can be flexible re where I work. Just need my phone, wifi and laptop and I'm all set!

Fingers crossed for all the ladies on this thread. Just been reading back....phew! :-)

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Ha! Sex tourist, I like it. We were both a bit weirded out by it too.

[Gingerbreadlady1]

notta, stubborn, you guys been quiet. How's things?

[PaulaFletch14]

I am very down gingerbread lady. My DP is very supportive. But he has two daughters with his bitch of an ex wife so to me feels like it's not as important for him and I know that's not true but I get insecure. What can I offer him if I can't have a baby. Not sure I can cope knowing he has kids with another woman if I can't

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Going through TTc really puts us all through the mill emotionally but if you feel you can't cope maybe seek some additional support?

[PaulaFletch14]

I'm having counselling after miscarriage and have support from local support group for baby loss. But nothing or no one can do anything. I feel a complete failure and not a real women. I was so happy when I was pregnant

[Shellster52]

Well gingerbread, your intro sounds like me to a T. I am 36 and never knew how bad my fertility was until I did IVF and was a very poor responder. I am about to embark on another roller coaster ride of IVF next cycle and would love to chat with others who understand.

This thread seems to have taken off so I haven't read the 5 pages of posts, but will try to keep up from now on if you are happy for me to join in!