Old birds wanna join the coop???

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Allo ladies! Wondering if there are any other over 35's (apparently the age of fertility suicide, who knew?) ttc for over a year wanting to chat? If so, pour yourself some virtual wine and let the chatting commence!

Thanks so much for your kind words gingerbread. I'm feeling worse than usual because I'm premenstrual which makes everything seem ever more awful! (and defo not preggers as no symptoms - so just waiting for dreaded AF, and then yet another month of trying).
It just seems so easy for some people to fall pregnant!
And when I hopefully do fall pregnant again, and if anyone confides in me about struggling, I shall pledge never ever to patronise them with with 'just stop trying so hard', 'it'll happen when you least except it' gubbins. I shall have utmost empathy and say that there's nothing that can offer comfort, except that when it does happen I shall be there to hold her and and celebrate greatly!
Ok, I'm off for a nice afternoon glass of wine to ease my mood. May as well make the most of booze when I'm able to. Think I may make a point of gulping down a vast glass when I next see that friend!
Fingers crossed for us all. I think March owes me a break! x

And order pâté,prawns etc , go spoil yourself x

Hi can I please join the group? Am 40 and ttc baby no.2. I have just had a natural miscarriage this week but baby died a month ago when I was 8 weeks, a silent miscarriage. We conceived dd after 5-6 months and this little poppet who is longer with us after a couple of months. We are v upset as you can imagine.

Hi willow you're most welcome. You must be in pieces, so so sorry to hear what you've been through.

Evening all!!!

Willow so sorry about your mc, it's just heart-breaking for you. They do say the most fertile time is after an mc, but it's so hard.

sizethree totally know what you turnabout friends and their surprise pgs. If someone else tells me that I just need to relax I will punch them on the nose!!!

Got a horrid cold at the moment with the sort of sore throat where no amount of pain relief is working and it just makes you feel crap... thank goodness I'm only on cd7 so we don't have to start dtd yet. By the way, our fertility person said that dh/dp need to refrain from any 'masturbation' for three days before the most fertile time of the month to enable enough of the best sperm tks be ready for the crucial week!!! Just thought I'd throw that in there...

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend!!!

Allo. Just told my dp no personal 'happy' time when I'm coming up to ov. His face! Lol! We've had some mighty funny conversations since ttc got serious!

Thanks ladies. Yes its a rough time as don't feel well at all. DH and my family are helping out whilst I lie in bed.
Can't wait to feel better so can start fitness regime - midwife said I am overweight (which doesn't take a genius to figure out!)

Hi willow33. I suffered a silent mc back in November, at 12 weeks. (baby had stopped developing at 8+5 weeks). It came as a huge shock and it was my first pregnancy after falling pregnancy on cycle 5). Do give yourself time to recover and be very gentle. Physically is is a lot for your body to go through, but emotionally it is an absolute rollercoaster. It does get easier as time passes, and one thing it did for me was bring me closer to friends who have suffered similar experiences. Sadly mcs are rather common, which doesn't make it easier. But you will find that talking about it will help you come to terms with your loss. And every single woman I know who has sadly gone through the same terrible loss, has gone on to have a healthy baby.
I like to think that my baby is patiently waiting in a queue and will show up on that BFP when the time is right.
The journey is tough, but I have no doubt it will be so worthwhile. And this is a great place to find support and have a rant and a cry if needed.
Huge love. x

Hi all,

Sizethree, so sorry for your loss aswell. And Willow, she is so right at how common MCs really are. I have three DSISs and I am the second eldest. My elder DSIS had to have fertility treatment to conceive her two eldest DCs and then suddenly fell PG by accident, having not needed to use any contraception in the 20 years of her marriage, at 39!! I have had two MCs, my younger sister had one last year (and has a healthy 8 year old girl) and my youngest sister has had 5 MCs (she also has two healthy boys).

So in a family of 4 girls (and one brother), we have ALL had problems in one way or another. Mum had 5 of us with no problems!

Nearly all the women that I know have had at least one MC.

So as much as it doesn't make the physical and emotional trauma of your experience any better, I did feel that it helped to realize that I wasn't alone.

When I had my first MC I didn't know anyone who had had one and I felt that there was something wrong with me. I don't feel like that now but also sadly, it has killed the 'innocence' of pregnancy now. It's all bloody knicker-checking for me!

To top all that off, I had a nightmare PG with DD. At 12 weeks I was told that I had a high risk of Downs with the PG 1:35. So I had a CVS at 14 weeks, but they didn't take enough blood. So then I had to have an Amnio at 18 weeks. Finally got the all-clear and told that we were having a pink one . Then at 28 weeks I was diagnosed with GD (gestational diabetes). My BMI even at my most PG with DD was only 23!!! I just couldn't believe my (bad) luck!! I was injecting insulin 5 times a day by 29 weeks PG.

Now, 4 years on, even though I had a clear amnio, they are testing DD for Turner's Syndrome (normally picked up at an Amnio) and various other growth problems because she's very small for her age. She has to have X-rays today and loads of blood tests tomorrow.

Now, remind me why I want to go through all this again????!!!!

This is why MN has been my savior!!!

I hope everyone is feeling (a little) better today!!

Hi ladies,

Unfortunately it looks like this one didn't want to stick around (started cramping and bleeding during the night). So I'm back on the hormone tablets and waiting for ovulating to restart, which I think will take a couple of months.

Fingers crossed for some bfp this month for you all.

So sorry to hear that purple, hope you're okay & being taken care of x

oh purple that is terribly sad news. i do hope that you are ok and resting up and getting lots of love. x

Good evening, another old bird to add to the coop. I'm 36. Ttc our first. Like sizethree married in may 2013, having sucessfully prevented pregnancy for many years. Currently on cycle 9. Took 7 months after coming off contraception to get periods back. In that time, friends hubby had his vascectomy reversed, she got pregnant and they have a 4 month old daughter. Yes, THAT quick!

Finding it all a bit depressing. Had planned on 'trying' a bit harder a couple of months ago but husband lost his job so it doesn't seem right to be trying too much, we can't manage on my income alone.

Honestly we aren't dtd enough i don't think. Bit depressed by it all.

Hi nottalotta, aaaarrrrggghhh! How annoying is it when some people just seem to brush against their DH and are upduffed instantly. Not fair.
It is depressing, but I find it helps having a darned good rant on these pages every now and again.
It WILL happen. Just when it will happen is the unanswerable question.
Don't worry about not DTD enough. It does only take one little swimmer, so some sex around the right time can still lead to the BFP.
I recently left a job I was very unhappy in. And we can't survive on my DH's income alone, but as you never know when a BFP will pop up, I decided to just keep trying and have faith that things work wise will be ok.

Purple, I'm so sorry . I hope you're Ok and have lots of support around you.

Notalotta, we are DEFINITELY not DTD enough either. We are only doing it now around OV time and luckily we're still laughing about it. I was really ill this weekend and wasn't counting my cycle days properly so yesterday I looked in my calendar and realized that CD10 was yesterday. Told DH last night, it's that time again and we gave each other that withering look . So we will do it every night now until CD15 and then that'll be it until next month.

Luckily though, if our next PG is anything like my PG with DD, my Libido soared from about 10 weeks right up until we had DD so I think DH is holding onto that thought - ha ha!!

How are you Sizethree and Gingerbread?

Luckily OH is home PT as we are sharing the paretal leave for DS so I'm able to be really lazy this week as I've told my manager as he is really nice.

Don't worry to much about how often you're dtd we only did it once each of the months i've got pg and with ds it was about 12hrs after I got my positve ov test so it can happen. (I'll have to ask OH how much personal happy time he gets. )

'Personal happy time' keeps making me giggle. I'll need to warn DH off that too!
My dreaded AF arrived yesterday so back to square one. We're going to try the SMEP plan this month. Basically it involves DTD on day 8, and every second day until you get a positive OPK. DTD for 3 days straight when positive OPK result, one day off then one for luck.
So this month is going to be rather sex heavy! Will need some Kendal mint cake or protein shakes!
Hope everyone has a good Wednesday. Been a tough week for us so far. X

Purplemurple, eat something you shouldn't and watch something that will allow you to cry openly (something from Jane Austen always does it for me) and things will slowly start to get better. Big Unmumsnetty hugs to you.

Sizethree, sorry AF arrived hun. Good plan for this month though. That is usually my plan (starting on day 8) hence my panic yesterday when I realized it was already CD10. So we've decided to omit the 'every other day' and go for every day now until OV since I normally OV on CD14-CD15 so it doesn't leave many 'attempts'.

I normally OV within 12 hours of my +OPK aswell so not a lot of time to hang around.

NB: Remember that from when you get your +OPK, you have anything between 12 and 36 hours to DTD. In my case though it's always 12. My OPK is always a very obvious negative the next morning, even if I've got a very strong positive the night before!!

Also, with us, the DTD isn't too bad because DH is quite quick. Never thought I'd be relieved about that!! LOL - So glad he can't come on and read this!!

Wow I'm a super old bird and TTC first baby... I'm 38 though fit & healthy in most ways. I just wasn't ready for it up til now and will deal with it if it doesn't happen.... anyway the headline to this chat made me laugh as yes I'd like to join the coop!

Hi linda welcome to the coop,

I drank copious amounts of wine last night and had a good old natter and cry with my sis, and today I have been blaming my sickness and need for painkillers on the mc but I'm not sure how true that really is tbh. Lovely MIL sent me cakes this monring and is making us dinner tonight as well (she knows as we were away together at the weekend and I wasn't drinking).

Hello all, thanks for your supportive replies. I don't know when i ovulate. We dtd 1 - 3 times per week, but only occasionally 3 and often the two times will be saturday and sunday so could easily be missing the boat every time. I have 25 day cycles so am thinking of trying every other day from 6 - 16. Should cover ovulation that way shouldn't I? I'd happily dtd more often and i think DH would too but somehow we don't get round to it. Sounds pathetic!!

Feeling AF is on her way - due friday but crampy today....... Grrr.

Hi I want to say thanks for supportive msgs.
Purple - how are you now?
Kat - you have been thru a lot and are still standing!
:-)

Hi ladies , we've got a lovely bunch on here now . Sorry I've been absent of late but away for work so Internet access very limited! I really need some fast time advice so hoping a few of you are on line tonight. Here goes....

Away from home for 2 weeks (no choice), was hoping to catch ov at the weekend but typically, it's came early, for the first time ever I have a normal cycle! I'm on 6mths clomid, this is month 2. Had great ewcm yesterday & today. And bloomin +opk today. Oh had said he will drive 3 1/2hrs & stay in a hotel so I can sneak away tomorrow (on residential course) to dtd. Is this madness? I really don't want to miss out a month as 6 months is all we get. What should we do!!! Help a crazy lady please!

Oh gingerbread that's a tricky one!! How realistic is it that your dh could get to you and that you could sneak out without being missed. If it was me I would give it a miss but, and this is a massive BUT, I'm not using Clomid, which puts a totally different spin on it. In the early days I think I would have done anything, but after 2 years I'm starting to lose a bit of hope anyway so would probably eat a big bar of chocolate instead!!!

Sorry hun, I'm clearly no hope at all...