Old birds wanna join the coop???

[Gingerbreadlady1]

Allo ladies! Wondering if there are any other over 35's (apparently the age of fertility suicide, who knew?) ttc for over a year wanting to chat? If so, pour yourself some virtual wine and let the chatting commence!

No tests yet, we've been trying 19 months ish.

Ask for the following blood tests:

CD3 which is for FSH/LH
CD21 progesterone which will tell you whether you ovulated that month and if your progesterone level is high enough to sustain a pregnancy (needs to be 7 days before your period so could be a day or two earlier/later)
Thyroid mention it but they should do it along with one of the bloods above.
And if your DP hasn't already done one, get him to do a sperm test.

After that the next one would be HSG scan or sometimes called lap and dye which is where they insert dye and scan to see if your fallopian tubes are blocked.

Ladies have I missed any?

Hmmm, can't think of anything else. Don't think I've had cd3....

inshock I'm also rebelling against ttc nazi health regime, it's all grim enough without depriving myself of little pleasures as well

Ttc revolution!!

Ginger The CD3 one is key and provides crucial information, I've only just been told this so had a blood test on Monday.

I'm starting to wonder if the strict regime is having an adverse effect coz it's causing more stress trying to stick to it and then feeling disappointed with myself every time I stray off it. Up the ttc revolution! :D

Good luck with your tests Patch keep us posted!

My doctor turned me down for 3/21 day tests before my first mc in February. Now in all likelihood I have had another early one, I am going to ask again and if he says no I am going to ask to be referred to my local Spire hospital where I will pay to have the tests done. If prigesterone suppositories are what I need to get me through the first trimester I'm going to bloody well get myself some. I am sick of my GP practice fobbing me off.

I was told they did an ultrasound as well, to check for uninvited squatters in the womb area?

I hope so, because I feel that, if there's anything actually "wrong" with me apart from ageing eggs, it could possibly be a polyp (had one before) or an ovarian cyst (on account of all kinds of weirdy inexplicable pains- and now nausea ). This month I've had loads of pain, sometimes period-like, sometimes ovulation-like, and sometimes too much wind-like , ever since 7DPO. No idea what's going on, it's all quite random.

I've got pregnant several times over the years whilst consuming industrial quantities of alcohol (extremely misspent youth). Maybe I should go back to that???

(have just consumed a huge bowl of rhubarb crumble with seconds of custard FOR DINNER and now feel quite sick......SYMPTOM! )

Stupid question alert. When would he need to do his sample is there a time frame to get it to the surgery?

Why the hell did the doc turn you down for the day 21 tests Seb? I went to see mine and got booked in for the test straight away (had it done on Friday).

Although I am v.v. lucky in my doctor's- it's a rural practice, so they don't have that huge volume of patients, so are able to really take time with you. I know most MNers would faint to hear that you can normally get an appointment for the next day! (Although one problem with their assiduousness is that they'll send you up the County General- 40 minutes' drive away!- for tests on the slightest excuse- I spent the whole day sitting in the Orthopaedic Ward with a swollen knee waiting for tests because the doctor decided "better safe than sorry" .

sebs Your GP really does sound useless, is there another one at your practice you can see? Bearing in mind you're over 35 the tests I mentioned are routine and you shouldn't be being dismissed. I would look at changing surgery if I was in your position, the care you've received has been awful.

Patch Your DP will need to visit his GP and request a sperm test, he'll be given a pot and some instructions and will be told where to drop his sample off. My DP had to make an appt with the local hospital to drop off his sample, have to admit he was surprised he couldn't just dtd and drop off when he'd managed it :) he was told to get it to the hospital within an hour of filling the pot.

Stubborn I had a scan for squatters :) coz my scan at EPU following mc last year picked up on a small fibroid. I spoke to my GP who is really supportive and recently had a scan, it was really useful coz not only could they tell me position and size of fibroid but she also checked ovaries and lining of uterus at same time. I'm totally with you on the misspent youth! ;)

Stubborn - he said he would only refer me for tests if I was going for privately funded IVF. I was having regular periods but hadn't been able to fall pregnant in the seven months id been trying (id been breast feeding for six of those). So he was happy I was ovulating and said to go away and keep trying. I fell pregnant on that cycle funnily enough do he was right, I was ovulating, but as we know that's only half the story.

My LP is 12 days which is acceptable but I am still suspect as to whether my progesterone gets high enough to sustain a pregnancy. I know it could be dodgy eggs but two in a row is suspicious.

Btw I really hate my GP practice. I am a hares breath away from changing, I'm just not convinced another practice would be any better. From their point of view I have one child, I should be satisfied with that.

I definitely think you should change- it's a lottery, and you may well get a sympathetic doctor the next time. Or at least one who is a bit less awful.

I will see this through to it's conclusion then go back there re. the 21 tests and see what the reaction is.

It's funny because I'm a very strong character in real life and don't take much shit from people. But put me infront of a doctor and I feel like a nuisance/burden and find myself just accepting what they say.

Patch- good idea to get an idea of the standard tests they should do so you are clued up: day3 is usually oesterodial, fsh and LH. Day 21 is normally prolactin, progesterone and possibly thyroid (TSH). There is another text called amh (anti mullerian hormone) but I had to get that done privately.

Sebs- yeah, I'm with the others- make a point of asking for those tests and if your dr refuses ask him why and reiterate that women over 35 who've been ttc for 6 months or more are advised to seek help and have investigations.

Stubborn- sounds like a good practice. Misspent youth- too bloody right! Although I was soo careful not to get pregnant like so many of the young girls in my area- I knew that would mean I'd be destined to live there forever and not get a chance of a good education and seeing the world...which I'm happy to say I have, in the main, achieved.

Ginger- thanks for reminding me that life is for living. It's so easy to get bogged down but I do have a nice life which I enjoy and have so much to be grateful for. I have a unique and interesting job, a nice home, lots of lovely friends (although the non-sprogged ones are dwindling somewhat) and a wonderful husband and loving family on both sides. I'm very lucky in many ways. I enjoy exercise (it actually does help to ease stress levels), going for big long walks in the country (we did 11 miles on Sunday), girly weekends/dinners with friends, hosting friends and family and cooking up a feast, doing a bit of DIY/decorating and making stuff for the house on my new sewing machine (future new hobby and sewing bee contestant...yeah right)! DH and I go to gigs, theatre, nights away/ spa breaks and lovely holidays. It's just this year DH wants to save his leave so he can take time off to spend with his dad (his dad has quite recently been diagnosed with lung cancer). Hence why things seem doubly shit right now.

I'd love to get a dog...but prob don't have the patience to train a puppy and would get a rescue dog. We'd do it in a flash but our jobs require us to be away from home quite a bit so that's the only thing preventing us. My plan was/is to get one when we have a baby and I'm a full time mum! That will happen one of these days!!

Sorry for the essay!

Ooooo, curious what your job is now fankle

Tranquility - can I have some advice please? May I ask what your numbers were doing when you had your quantitive hcg testing. I am terrified and my doctor is trying to congratulate me!!!

My numbers have gone from 66 to 108 in 48 hours. He is calling this double, I am calling this a slow rise consistent with bad news. He thinks I'm just a scatty bitch who is 1-2 weeks pregnant. I know that unless I am growing baby Jesus in my womb I didn't even have sex in the time frame we would be talking, let alone ovulate.

I'm not going to lie to you seb trust your gut, if you know the timeframe doesn't fit, then keep on at them. I was on CD11 when I tested, 5 days after finishing my period. There was no way I could be just pregnant as they thought as I should've been about to ovulate. However my hcg went from 105.9-275 in 48 hours and progesterone from 3.9-17. They said the numbers were too low to be 5-6 weeks yet I knew it couldn't be anything else. That's why I kept phoning the ward at the hospital and saying this and that I had pressure in my left side all the time plus brown spitting when wiping.

I hope your pg is just slow to increase and all is ok but please don't take any chances. I'm here for you. If you want to on with your mobile I can give you mine. Ring your EPU this morning if you have pain or spotting. Xx

Pm me that should say

Tranquility I just don't know what to think anymore. They won't scan me, he reiterated that on the phone, he wants to wait until I get Fridays bloods back and I wont get those until Tuesday die to the bank holiday weekend.

I have no pain or bleeding. Lots of milky white discharge consistent with pregnancy and light pain in the side of my boobs, that's it.

Would a private scan show anything do you think?

Well, I started spotting yesterday, and now AF has turned up. Two days early FFS . As I normally have 26 day cycles, that means this month's was 24 days- which is pretty bloody useless.

I really don't know what's going on with my body at the moment. Pretty much from the moment we started trying TTC (or actually a couple of weeks before) it went all weird. Loads of cramping/stabby pains leading up to AF- when I've pretty much never had any significant period pains before. And now my cycle shortening...fuck.

However, I actually woke up this morning feeling very healthy, energetic and well- for what seems like the first time in months. New cycle, new leaf! I have just ordered "Taking Control of your Fertility", am going to dig out thermometer, pen and paper to keep next to the bed in order to start charting tomorrow morning, and am about to call the docs to arrange the 3 day test....except that the time frame for this will fall completely over the bank Holiday weekend!

Also, I have decided to embrace the woo. I met a heavily pregnant, heavily hippy acquaintance the other day, and she told me that they spent a year trying to conceive, with three early MCs in that year, yet she managed to remain positive, just saying "the baby will come when the time's right", etc. OK, I shall try to embrace this mentality!

On another kind of woo note- today is May Day! Which is the pagan fertility festival of Beltane! Later on today I will be going to DS's (highly hippy) pre school to take part in the May Day festival and watch the kids dancing around the giant phallus maypole! That's got to be good fertility karma!

In addition, next week is the highly bizarre May celebration in our nearby town. 5 years ago I was there and clapped my friend, who was dancing,completely covered in greenery, on the shoulder. 5 days later- BFP. Powerful magic, I tell you......Now, I don't think I know anyone who's dancing this year, so I have to get near enough to touch one of the dressed-as-a-bush dancers without them noticing......

Brilliant Stubborn! I would be rubbing myself up against every one of those dancers! Sounds like a nice event- don't think we have anything like that up north (wondering where these May Day festivals actually take place...?!)but I read a few days ago about Beltane. Really interesting, if a bit woo! Good luck! And glad to hear you are feeling positive despite AF showing. Mine is due tomorrow but I haven't had many pms symptoms at all this month.

Sebsmummy- you need to go with your gut feeling and pester them until they take your concerns easily. Easier said than done I know (I'm not exactly a 'pusher' myself....until I become enraged. Then I emphatically put my point across. That is how I got my laparoscopy and subsequent discovery of mild endo! Just keep at them. Fingers crossed for you.

Ginger- I couldn't possibly out myself in that way :-)

sebsm so unfair you're being put in this position, it's the last thing you need. I think you can only continue to pester the life out of them, or travel to a diff epu & see if they will listen?

stubborn love love loving your attitude, immerse yourself in the woo, get rubbing those bushes !!! I tried reflexology this month (just at a normal spa) as well as started exercising & my lp was 3 days longer than the usual (on clomid) 10. Do you think coincidence or woo-ness?

fankle, give me a clue

kegirl how you doing? You've been unusually quiet.

Are you saying I'm a mouthy git ginger???

I'm good thank you - sorry been ordering stuff and planning dd's 'frozen' birthday party, I have been reading a keeping up with what's been going on though!!!

sebsmum it is just wrong that clearly your gp has no clue. I hope this gets sorted for you once and for all. It does sound worrying if I'm honest... your hcg level went up like mine. Not doubling but still rising which worried them.

stubborn, fab attitude hun. My dd goes to a little village school and the village are having a may fayre on Monday. There is a fancy dress parade, loads of stalls and some of the children are doing maypole dancing!! Really looking forward to it.

How you doing tranquility? Big waveso, fankle, inshock and patch. Sorry if I've missed anyone.

God Tranquility I was just reading back your posts and I have exactly the same hcg level as you at exactly the same cd - cd13. It's so fucking scary that in a few days time out endings could be exactly the same.

seb i really hope you don't have the same outcome as me but although it doesn't feel like it right now I was lucky, once they realised they assured me everything was in hand and I was safe. Pls keep me updated. X

kegirl I'm ok, not needed any painkillers today which is good, but keep crying every day and it's engulfing. Loss is so hard isn't it. I have so many questions that'll never be answered. Those of you that have suffered losses, how did you cope? My friends have been lovely, I've got 4 bouquets of flowers here (although I cried each time one was delivered) and they've been texting me.

I *think I want to try again in time but lots to think about first and can't do anything for 3 months anyway.

How are you all doing? Any symptoms? X

Hi all (waves to everyone) :)

It's good to hear you're being well supported Tranquility When I suffered my mc I found out by attending a scan when I was 9 weeks, I'd experienced bleeding 2 weeks earlier hence the scan at 9 weeks, I knew something was wrong just by watching the sonographer's face, 2 weeks earlier we'd all been squinting at the screen and looking at a faint flick of a heartbeat, this time there was a long pause before she said anything, I knew the heartbeat wasn't there. I was very lucky because I mc naturally a week later without a lot of pain or bleeding and my cycles returned to normal straight away. If I'm honest, I was really upset but got over it very quickly because haven't conceived the first month of ttc I thought it was going to happen that easily again, I found the months that followed the hardest because I didn't fall pregnant again. Now I just think that pregnancy wasn't meant to be, the outcome was out of my control. x

Stubborn I'm now looking for a May Day maypole dance to gatecrash! :)

How's everyone doing?

I'm still hitting the caffeine, wine, chocolate - so fair off the healthy regime now it's gonna be hard to get back on it! But... I feel so much happier in myself! and it's not because I'm drunk :)