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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC 10+++ months part 18

999 replies

Mrsden · 08/12/2013 21:06

This is the BFP thread.

OP posts:
lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 08/02/2014 07:58

Morning lovelies!

I glad your mum came out this weekend, critter. I am sure it makes a difference. My heart aches for the silent community of missing babies, tho :( Sorry about it all. I am very pleased you feel free to post here, and should keep on airing your feelings. A warm trip with mrC sounds like a good plan. How is you physical recovery going?

Ray, I agree with the others about the radiance and lust for life visible elsewhere!

Also, you too, devon, I rarely have much to say, but continue posting, since you're all important to me now. So I would hope that is not a problem and if you feel like it, others should feel free too!

Sorry about the sickness, sea! The twins are giving you a rough ride. I am sure it will be worthwhile in the end!

As for me, I am totally shattered from this week, and we have a full weekend planned. Two little visitors tonight, exercise in the mis weather before and I foolishly offered to coach tomorrow afternoon. Oh well...

eurochick · 08/02/2014 09:46

critter I'm glad your mum is there. It's lovely that your family is being so supportive. I think a sunshine holiday sounds like a lovely idea.

I had a similar experience with mc. It's something people don't really talk about until you become a member of that sad club, and only then do you realise how many others have suffered. I'm so sorry that your mum had a late loss too, but it must put her in a good position to support you.

That sounds like a busy weekend drizz!

I'm off to see a friend and her baby this morning. Then we have to go kiddie present shopping as there is a raft of birthdays coming up. Then tomorrow, we might see one of the birthday children. So it's going to be a kiddie-filled weekend.

Right, must go and hit the shower!

MuddyWellyNelly · 08/02/2014 19:51

Well having been drubbed in the rugby, run out of gas for our heating, broken a very expensive part on my horsebox, and been clarted in mud by my hobble, today is going swimmingly Hmm. However, in better news, I contacted Serum yesterday who replied fairly quickly with a form, which I've just sent off. Interesting how it went:

Have you had Thyroid tests: NO. Have you had karotyping: NO. Have you had immune testing: NO. Have you had a hysteroscopy or Lap:NO etc etc. Anyway we shall see what they say, and so far I'm impressed by the speed of response, and even just the tone of the email I received back. Personal and articulate, yet not sycophantic. I like.

Sorry for no catch up at all. I am mainly thinking of Critter a lot, keeping everything crossed for Cos, quietly fist-punching for Euro, double fist-punching for Sea, aghast at how "quickly" it's going for Free and Drizz, and whimpering in the corner with Pout, Ray, Devon, Fox and anyone else who is still on this hellish journey. Oh and Critter, please hang out and post and cry and laugh with us as much as you want, I wish you were here under different circumstances, but whatever the circumstances, we want you to keep posting :)

Tea is ready, off to drink wine and warm up in front of the fire!

eurochick · 09/02/2014 09:36

Oh dear nelly, that doesn't sound like a good day. Serum does have a good name and were very efficient when I did the infection testing through them. Very nice too. I hope they will do the job for you. x

MuddyWellyNelly · 09/02/2014 14:14

Thanks Euro. I sent back the questionnaire and heard back from them today. Very efficient. She offered the option of sending my period to Greece Grin but said nothing in my history suggested infection was a likely issue. Basically the only down side is it looks like I need to go twice. Once for a scan (aqua scan?) and then for ET. MrN only has to go once. We also need to redo our HIV etc as they need to be within 6 months. I will do a phone consult and see if I really need the scan. I feel like my uterus has been thoroughly examined by now! Seems a long way to go. Also hoping I can persuade my GP to do the bloods. I will try crying...

Hope your kiddie weekend was/is fun. Just slumped my sister. Sheesh there was a lot of noise and running about.

raydown · 09/02/2014 14:17

Slumped your sister, nelly? I'm sure she enjoyed that :)
The Greek clinic sounds very efficient. I'm amazed you've got this far without the standard tests. I feel like every bit of me has been tested, even though our problem is male factor.

raydown · 09/02/2014 14:36

This latest ivf round seems to have left me with ovulation pain. I've never noticed ovulation before, no mid cycle twinges. But last month, mid cycle I had a day where my right ovary hurt. It was unmistakably ovarian pain. Again this month, it's the middle of my cycle and I've got the same pain but this time it's the left side. I wonder why this is. Answers on a postcard please.

MuddyWellyNelly · 09/02/2014 16:39

Skyped! I know I bloody typed that too. Stupid autocorrect. Blush.

I don't know Ray but I think it sounds good news? But hey I've long since given up trying to figure this out. I don't think I actually get much ovulation pain any more, although I used to. Perhaps I just don't pay attention any more. I always get more CM in the post IVF cycles though. I also got hot flushes quite badly after my last cycle, for weeks. So I think the drugs have a longer effect than is indicated.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. I've been quite productive. With no heating the only solution is hard labour!

Buzzybee123 · 09/02/2014 18:34

nelly Penny is very big on the aqua scan, I think its pretty standard,I'm not sure if they can be done here there is a lady called arianrhod on the assisted conception after miscarriage part 5 board who has been out to Serum, I think someone else on there was thinking of going, they might be able to help, they are very efficient, that is what I found with my clinic, it takes some of the stress of the process away
Sorry about the rugby Sad my money is on Ireland

ray sorry about the ovulation pain, is it tomorrow that you get the results

critter I'm glad your family came out for the weekend, it is sad to think so many people who ave lost feel they cannot share their grief or stories, there is a lady from the pred thread who is a documentary maker and is doing one about immunes and miscarriage, when she realised the 'shorts' to it I just sat and cried and it felt like such a relief and a release, that loss should not be hidden in a closet like so dirty little secret, I know that it is a different loss to what you had with James, but there is comfort in talking to others who know the pain and understand.

Devon Sorry about the announcement, the aspirin is just to help thin your blood a bit but not as much as clexane, Shehata prescribes it as part of his protocol

sea Don't suffer from nausea or heartburn, ask your GP for something, but not metoclopromide sp? it totally fucked me over with the side affects.

Cosmonaut1 · 09/02/2014 21:25

Nelly thats great news about serum getting underway and amazing at the efficiency. Would the aquascan have similar benefits to the scratch I wonder. All the very best with it, must be exciting and nerve wracking at the same time though sounds like you have enough else going on to keep your mind off it!

Ray the docs I've met would be very not interested in ov pain but my acu lady would say something to do with chi or kidney energy or something. Do you have acu?

Buzzy hope things are going well.

Critter I don't know about you but no-one gets me as well as my mum, particularly when we've had a shared experience. Thinking of you.

Free thanks for that list , very interesting.

Fox I watched some of countryfile tonight and thought of you.

Anyone else see the women's snowboarding? Unreal.

seamermaid · 10/02/2014 11:33

Critters - I am so happy that your mum was with you this weekend. I can't believe she also had to go through the pain of miscarriages and a late lost. Very sad. I hope her visit brought you some joy.

Nelly - I have read some great things about Serum on FF. A lot of ladies who failed at Argy seem to go there. I think Agate on FF went there and she has loads of useful info on the site which you have probably looked at but if not, well worth doing.

Ray - Ovulation pain isn't pleasant but I think it's a sign that something is happening. Could it be the after effects of the drugs that is causing this?

Euro - I hope your weekend full of little people was fun. I am 7 weeks + 2 today.

Buzzy - How's the little one. I hope she has latched on and you are managing to get some sleep. I am trying to live with the sickness and nausea. I feel I have taken so much drugs already that I want to avoid it unless I absolutely have to. Going to acu tonight to see if they can do anything to help.

Cos - How are you? When is your next scan?

Fox - How are you? Haven't see you on here for some time. Hope the difficult place is passing. Big squeeze.

Devon - You are absolutely right. There is something about ivf that just brings out the worst in people who don't need it - especially in the Daily Fail - some of the comments make me weep for humanity.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 10/02/2014 18:06

Well done on getting some wheels moving, nelly. Even if it is just to get a sunny holiday out of it.

Hang in there, sea! I am excited by your twins. And 7 weeks gone already. I hope you won't feel too bad with sickness!

How was your weekend with your mum, critter? I hope you got lots of TLC. Any more movement on the plans to escape with mrC? How are you feeling? I am still thinking of you and James every day!

No idea about ovulation pains, ray. I hope it is all okay!

Waves to all of you!

raydown · 11/02/2014 07:57

I'm pleased your mum was able to come and visit again critter. It's sad to think that she know about loss too though, but it must be good to have someone you can talk to who really understands. Have you found everyone is being supportive?

nelly I'm curious as to what an aquascan is.

devon do you have to have any further tests before nhs ivf?

I've done a bit of googling and ovulation pain after ivf seems to be quite normal. I think it's because the ovaries are still a bit swollen and sore anyway. I feel a bit reassured that it was a different side to last month otherwise I would have been thinking that the cyst had returned.

I got my test results yesterday, in the doctor's words they didn't show anything exciting which I guess is a good thing. There was one result that was outside of the normal range, one of the thrombosis type ones so he said we can discuss whether it's worth treating that or not when I go in for my fet scan. I still don't know exactly what was tested, I kicked myself after I put the phone down that I didn't ask. I might pop into the clinic one day and ask for the print out of the results. Anyway, the good news is I can go ahead with the fet although typical that I think next cycle might not be possible because of work commitments abroad.

DevonLoch · 11/02/2014 09:12

Critter - I remember you saying your mum had also had an exceptionally hard time. It must be painful for her to see you going through such a time yourself. I am glad you have a good support network.

Ray - that's good news it didn't find anything. Everyone I've come across on these boards who have had their Nk cells tested normally have high results so it is good to know that some people do fall in the normal range.
I've developed all sorts of twinges since my last ivf and i think it is normal. your body does take a battering. I know I have developed a cluster of cysts on my tube since last round so I hate what those ivf drugs do. I hope you can get going with the FET soon.
I have done all my bloods and my scan with nhs now. Can't help but feel they will lose the results! Roy just needs to get a SA done but he has chased them for the last month but no one has called him back. And my ivf meeting is in 6 weeks and then it could be another 6 months after that.

Nelly - Penny is very keen on testing people for this hiddenC. She has obviously had a lot of success with treating people with it. I did get a second opinion about my results and the guy just didn't believe it was a strain of chlymadia. I was also concerned about the month's worth of antibiotics, it seemed pretty brutal for something not recognised anywhere else. But Agate on FF always tells people to get it tested.

So I hope our preggos- euro, sea and cos are all doing ok,

Buzz - I hope motherhood is enjoyable.
Waves to Fox.

raydown · 11/02/2014 09:42

I'm a bit Hmm about the hidden c, why if it's so simple to treat do no other clinics think it's important? I really didn't think immunes were our problem, I've never felt like anything tries to implant and then my body rejects it. It's good to have it ruled out. It's annoying about the thrombosis one though, I think if you test enough things then one of them is going to be out.

You do have to chase for everything don't you, devon? At least you're in the system now. I read on another board that someone had been told to expect a 15 month wait for nhs ivf but they only ended up waiting 5 months which seems quite good.

eurochick · 11/02/2014 10:13

At least things are moving in the right direction, devon.

I had the hidden C test. It was, to my surprise, positive, but I never got around to treating it as we are both allergic to certain (different) antibiotics and it all got a bit complicated.

fox I hope your tail is a bit fluffier than it was.

sea that's great. What is the next monitoring step for you?

DevonLoch · 11/02/2014 10:24

Ray - what is this thrombosis thing? What does it mean? I would think if you tested everyone who had babies with no problem, it would show a huge range of results which were not in normal range. It is good to rule things out though.
I think you just need Gin's luck and you'll be fine.
I really hope it's not a 6 month wait. But I need a good 3 months to get myself fit and healthy. I've become a blob and Roy is drinking and being very naughty at the moment. Having said that my dad use to smoke 80 fags a day and he had 3 kids no problem.

Cosmonaut1 · 11/02/2014 11:52

Devon that's good you've got those tests out the way, I found that part really stressful somehow, it seems a bit like hoop jumping. Don't they have to be within a certain timeframe too, so hopefully that means it won't be too long a wait. Winter is always harder to get motivated on the healthy stuff don't you think, especially with this weather. Come on spring - it could all time in nicely for you and fingers crossed. Does it feel any more positive to have sort of got things underway?

Ray that's great the results were all fine, I am also confused at the thrombosis one. Are they doing any further tests on DH? I guess with frostie rounds to come next it's less of a priority. Did you reach an agreement with them about how many to defrost / which day to take them to? So might you do an FET the month after next? It all soon comes round again doesn't it. I think it could well be the case of just getting the right embie for you, I've everything crossed for you.

Afm my next scan is thurs. I spent all yesterday thinking its all over. I've been getting womble cramps every day for ages but yesterday it felt more like I did before when it had stopped and its just the prog stopping me from mc'ing. I had the most vivid dream last night. I had the scan and they said it had stopped and that it was because of chromosomal issues - double the normal number and that this was visible on the scan - she said she'd re-scan to double check and called in loads of colleagues to witness my medical marvel so the room was crowded with people including a man (a blonde uk tv actor who I couldn't name) and I said I didn't feel comfortable with him there and before I knew what was happening I was being sent to the main waiting room in the main hospital, and was told that the guy was the head honcho and he was a real twat and that he'd cancelled my re-scan and before I knew it I was in a riot in the hospital and stuck in a corridor and couldn't get my rucksack off......
Anyway, so no actual snakes Pout, but one male snake doctor. Having already had a scan before where we were told there was no heartbeat I am really dreading it.

Waves to everyone else.

CritterPants · 11/02/2014 13:01

cos I can imagine how terrifying and stressful this wait must be for you. The days must feel very long as you wait for your scan. I'm so sorry about the horrible anxiety dream - I do think that is your body's way of processing the stress. I will be thinking of you on Thursday (and before then) and will have everything crossed that you get some good news.

devon I hope you get the round soon - hopefully they will pleasantly surprise you and the timing will come quicker than you expect. Waiting is so hard, when you have waited so long already. And it's the not knowing that is hard - it will help if you have a defined timeline and goal to get to, so I do hope they tell you soon when you can start. Then you can start ticking off the days on your calendar.

euro I hope you're not feeling too sick and that work isn't too exhausting - I remember the first trimester being completely knackering. I know how full-on your job is - make sure MrEuro is looking after you in the evenings!

ray Great news that the tests are done and everything showed up normal. Did you have the chat with your lovely doctor yet? I have heard people often have better success with FET, so I am really hoping this will be the lucky break you so deserve. You have been so patient.

sea Sending sympathetic nausea-calming thoughts your way. Do take it as easy as you can - your body is working incredibly hard right now.

lemon MrC and I have tentatively started online research to try to see if there's somewhere in the Caribbean we could go for a few days, some time in early March, before I go back to work. We wanted to go to his parents' place in Florida as it's free, warm, and beautiful and wouldn't require any organisation beyond booking flights and a rental car, but it's rented until mid-April. Does anyone have a favourite hotel or particular place they have stayed that they loved? It's overwhelming how many options there are.

nelly It would be a pain to go to Greece twice, but maybe you could just go into full-on holiday mode and book somewhere really nice to stay and treat both trips like a long weekend with some ancient monument sightseeing and lovely Mediterranean sunshine thrown in? Definitely try to get as much done in the UK as possible in terms of blood tests etc.

buzzy mini bee is so precious. I really hope it's all going well with breastfeeding - I hear it can be very painful in the early stages - and that you are getting some sleep and recovering physically.

It's been great having my mum here. We've got out of the house every day and been for coffee and long chats, which has been really nice. Talking things through with her has been good - I guess partly because she is 38 years ahead of me with losing her son so it shows me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I can see that she is still sad about him, still visits his grave on his birthday every year, still says it was the worst thing that ever happened to her, but she has had a happy life and she remembers him with love as her first child. That makes me feel the future will be ok.

Missing James doesn't feel rational - the grief feels more animal than logical. I only held him for less than a day, and all my other memories of him were when he was inside me moving around or hiccuping, but it still feels like something is clawing me from the inside. But there's also something else which I know everyone else feels here - the grief for lost time, time passing without being able to start a family. I have spent the first half of my thirties longing for babies and not being able to have them. I know every single 10 plusser has that exact same grief. It's exhausting, and it feels like snakes and ladders - every test, failed month or IVF round, we move forward or slide backwards. And yet we keep going, and keep hoping. I do still think we're all going to have children, and that this will make the experience of motherhood sweeter when it does come. But I wish we didn't have to go through it.

eurochick · 11/02/2014 13:09

cos . I can understand the anxiety. Until last month, I had never been at a "right" scan. I'd only been at bad news ones - both mine and my mum's. So I do not find scans a happy experience.

ray I wonder if the thrombophilia result means that they might be able to give you blood thinners to help with implantation?

critter thankfully I am reasonably quiet at the moment. I'm off on my travels again later in the week (just France this time, and mr euro is coming over to join me for Vally's Day weekend). I hope you get a nice sunshiney break booked.

Your last paragraph was so touching and heartfelt. x

Poutintrout · 11/02/2014 15:16

cos Oh no at nasty dreams. I think that critter is absolutely right in that it sounds like a classic anxiety dream. I am sure that your scan is playing very much on your mind and this is your brains way of letting off some of that stress. I will be keeping my fingers tightly crossed for your scan.

ray I'd never heard of the thrombosis test thing. Euro's explanation makes sense.

euro a French Valentines Day, how very romantic! I got a plant from MrP a week early to straddle both our anniversary and Valentines Hmm 'Tis a nice plant though and he even said something about how the hoop of jasmine was made up of two intertwined plants. Not sure what came over him!

sea Hope that your MS isn't too bad

devon Wow, 6 months isn't long to wait for the IVF. It will fly by Smile

critter I think of you every day and am so sad to read about how your grief feels.
Your words about grief over lost time resonates too. I can't quite believe that I have been at this for almost 4 years and was 34 when we started.

Nothing to report at this end and agree with nelly I think it was, that sometimes I feel like there is nothing to post and that I am trying to avoid thinking about TTC. It is strange that, as mentioned up thread, most of us ladies on here are pregnant or had a baby and there is just a core of us who haven't had a sniff of a BFP. Depressingly I guess that is just representative of the stats about infertility generally. I have always felt that the stats say that there is a couple of percent of women who will never succeed and unfortunately it is looking like I am that woman! I cleared out my IVF box of duff tricks today to take the remaining syringes and stuff to the pharmacy for disposal and I guess it has got me thinking about how full of optimism I was back then. BTW I have a bottle of Bureselin if anybody wants it with an expiry of April 2014 also happy to post the syringes if anybody wants them (not sure how much they cost privately).

MuddyWellyNelly · 11/02/2014 15:22

Cos sweet, the waiting must be interminable. Squeezy hugs here too. The dream sounds unsettling but in sure your body was doing itself some good somehow! Thinking of you.

Ray I am glad nothing serious was found but in other ways it can be frustrating. Echo Cos's questions about timing etc. I truly think it's a numbers game for you.

Critter oh your words. So powerful and sad and true. I'm glad your mum is able to give you the long range perspective. It sounds realistic too. He is and always will be your first born, you are his mother, there is no way this grief disappears. But it must be heartening to hear that you can look forward with hope to a happy future with James' twiblings. The cliches are usually true and you will feel better with time, but I like that your Mum was honest about her experience of her very sad loss. She sounds a strong and amazing woman. Which makes sense, "knowing" you! Smile You are still very much in my thoughts.

Ok on phone so now can't remember all the other bits I wanted to say. Have a call with Penny next Tuesday. Going to see if I can avoid a double trip but definitely going to make the main one a proper break. The first one might be a long day trip!!

MuddyWellyNelly · 11/02/2014 15:29

X-post Pout. It makes me so sad and angry that we are in those stats. But I'm especially angry that you can't get another round of IVF due to the flipping post code lottery. If I win lotto the first thing I will do is give all of us every test, treatment or intervention they need. If money wasn't an object for me I'd do natural every ruddy cycle until I hit the jackpot. Oh it's so unfair.

I do worry this thread will tail off. So few of us now still trying, and I think we are such an established bunch that newcomers struggle. I wish that the mass BFP would come true and we could blow up the thread and all chat elsewhere about sore boobs and sleepless nights and school catchments. Sigh.

DevonLoch · 11/02/2014 15:37

Critter- you brought a tear to my eye about James and also how your mum still visits her first born grave on his birthday. It’s primal suffering.. And you see I think your grief is totally rational. I feel love and the need to protect when I have just had embryos put back yet you had nurtured and bonded with James for 9 months. You are his mum and you had love, hopes and dreams for your child just like any other mum. To have it cruelly taken away at the final hour is the worst thing that could have happened and just more so because of your struggle for a family and James being your first. The grief must be palpable. But I know you will have more children and your future will be very happy. . Anyway, I hope you find somewhere nice to go on a break. I think that is really important. I found the Sandpiper hotel in Barbados last year really lovely. It really sorted me out after some dark months. Divine food, quiet, friendly, amazing cocktails, good swimming.

Cos – you are having anxiety dreams which is quite understandable considering the circumstances. Womble cramps should be a good sign, it means everything is expanding but I know it’s impossible not to think the worst. I do keep thinking about you and hoping you are ok. Yes, those tests did have to happen within a certain time frame and of course you have to leave a message on a phone when your period arrives to book an appointment . By the time they called me back, the time frame had passed so I hope the tests and scans are valid. What a system! I think I will be glad to get a clearer idea of when I will be starting the round. But I have to say< I have zero confidence and don’t think I have a cat’s chance in hell of them producing some viable embryos.

Poutintrout · 11/02/2014 15:42

I can't believe nelly that any of this has happened. I find myself looking at the photos in the other place and looking hard to see if there are any telltale signs that we are broken. Smile at a lotto win and treatment for all! I have always thought that if we all had access to numerous IVF cycles that we would all get there in the end.

I wonder about the thread's longevity too and worry that I have run out of things to say other than I feel depressed as fuck! It would be super to wind it up in a happy whirlwind of multiple BFPs.