Hello all,
frannie thank you for your kind words. I hope you're doing ok. I remember your story as we joined the thread around the same time, I think. It's lovely when grads pop back to check in.
buzzy your little girl is utterly gorgeous, and what a lovely name. I did 
at you describing her reaction to BFing, although I'm sure it's no laughing matter - you do have such a witty way with words. I hope it's settling down at home and that Kayla is managing the transition.
I remember fatima, I was a lurker back then. ray I think you're right, she shared her eggs. ray thank you for telling me that about the three year thing. Sister critter told me something similar, it does give me hope that eventually the waves of intense sadness and longing will be less overwhelming. I totally understand the feeling of unfairness when other people have children easily. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel it was unfair. For the vast majority of people, it's a given. It is unfair that something that so many people can take for granted is so hard for us.
devon I'm really hoping 2014 will be the year you get your sticky bean. I remember what an awful roller coaster you were on with your twin beans last year, but there is still every reason to hope that the next round will be the lucky one. I do still think it's a numbers game for you - we have seen that here on this board with other ladies. It's just a question of finding the golden embie.
euro I can totally totally understand the nerves. Conception and pregnancy seem so fragile and it's so hard to realise that so much of it is out of our control. But the appointment will not jinx anything. More and more I think this is just a question of random luck, and surely you've had enough bad luck already for this to be your lucky time. I can completely understand your fear and anxiety though, after everything you've been through.
Big tail fluff to fox and other lovely ten plussers feeling low.
sar it was heartening to see how quickly you got your BFP after your tubes thing was fixed. It's amazing what a difference one thing can make. I remember how low you were this time last year and it makes me really hopeful that things can turn around. I should think you and MrS have every reason to hope for another baby once your beautiful, much-longed-for little girl is older.
I had a rough morning yesterday with lots of tears very close to the surface but am feeling better. Yesterday afternoon I saw the midwife and she told me something useful, which was to explain a bit more about what might have gone wrong. Apparently on a normal placenta there are veins and arteries that fan flat on the surface, flowing into the umbilical cord. On mine, the veins and arteries weren't flat on the placenta - they were sort of tented up away from it, and then joined up with the cord, which was positioned off to one side, and there was a blood clot in one of the veins. I think she mentioned something called vasa praevia. Basically the veins and arteries were much more fragile and likely to rupture. I looked up vasa praevia and it's extremely rare but one of the heightened risk factors is IVF. I guess I'll get more info when I see the awesome obstetrician who delivered James in two weeks.
One other thought that has been rolling around in my brain. A few years ago sister critter adopted a stray dog when she lived abroad in a developing country. The dog became pregnant (hard to know how as she lived on a compound) and sister critter had to get her neutered and terminate the pregnancy as there was nobody who would take the puppies. The poor dog had built herself a nest under sister critter's bed to have the puppies. She retreated there and refused to come out for days - even though rationally she probably didn't understand she was pregnant and that she'd lost her puppies, she was still really really sad. I have often thought about that dog during the past few years while struggling to conceive. We have this deep deep longing for babies and it's physical as well as psychological, which makes it harder to cope with.