Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Oh My Dear God In Heaven - What have we done!!

204 replies

Twinkie · 25/02/2004 10:38

Ok - I am being dramatic but have every reason to be - have realised after bit of prodding an poking that I can't find my threads to my IUD!!!

Had a bit of a bleed last weekend and heavy pains etc was weird as never happened in between periods before but just thought was one of those things!!

Well since then have had sex 4 times (sorry to be so intimate here!!) and now am terrified that I am up the DUFF!!!!

Last period started 7th of this month and finished on the 13th - what are the odds - can someone please tell me???

It would not be the biggest disaster in the world - DP and I are happy together and have spoken about children and he would love them and I yearn for a baby sometimes but now with facing the reality that it could actually happen I am terrified??

Now I don't want to go and have anew one fitted until I know if an pregnant or not but that means just waiting till my period is due and abstaining!!

Hey - I knew I shouldn't have gone to those meet ups!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Twinkie · 27/02/2004 10:55

Oh well suppose ths sort of stuff happens - just never thought it would happen to me - and I know it sounds silly but if I am everyone will say 'was it planned' and I am loathe to say no - I'm tooo bloody organised not to plan stuff like what time I go to the loo each day let alone when I have a baby god and I am still married to x2b and that means that DD and I would would have one surname and Baby and DP would have another - and I would be an unmarried mother (terrible cathloic guilt coming out now too!!)

Oh well chaps roll on Thursday!!

OP posts:
SpringChicken · 27/02/2004 11:32

Twinkie, try not to worry yourself over trivial stuff like that. Think of all the good things like the fact that this baby would be nothing whatsoever to do with you x2b and would be part of you and DP!
Imagine how excited your DD would be - and who knows, if you are pg by the time the baby arrives you may have dealt with everything regarding x2b and need to have nothing else to do with him.

Know what you mean about the catholic thingas DP is catholic (luckily no problems there) but also have an aunt who is catholic, went ballistic when my cousin announced she was pregnant before being married - does the catholic stem from your mum or dad or both ? ? Just wondering as if it comes from your dad's side of the family it's not really too bad, would you really care what he thinks anyway ?

Janh · 27/02/2004 11:55

Twinkie, I reckon at least half the lovely people on mumsnet are "unmarried mothers"! (Haven't heard that phrase for years!)

Honestly, if the name is all that really bothers you then I think that if you are pg you and DP and DD (and all of us!) will be delighted

zebra · 27/02/2004 12:13

Twinkie -- you must get the IUD out ASAP, if you are pregnant, and want to continue to be. Don't count your chickens, getting the IUD could make you miscarry, or you might miscarry, anyway (one of the 20-30%, etc.).
Sorry, but this situation inducing "Catholic guilt" when you're living "in sin" with somebody already -- I guess I just don't get Catholics!

Original poster
Twinkie · 27/02/2004 12:25

Have Drs appointment on Monday morning so will ask then. Half of me has my fingers crossed with excitement and anticipation and half of me is dreading it, oh god what if I am.

The Catholic Guilt thing rears its head quite often - I am okk as long as no one knows that we are not a perfect nuclear family - me, DP and DD - but they will soon twig when I am a Mrs and my name is different from his and I hate the fact that I am still married - it took me god nows how long to get over the fact that we were committing adultery (in legal terms!) but there we go - its happened now and I can stand the guilt if it means happiness!!

As for unmarried mums I have nothing against you - my best friend is an unmarried mum and I love her to bits!!

OP posts:
Metrobaby · 27/02/2004 12:43

Twinkie - I know what you mean about suffering with Catholic guilt, being brought up as Catholic myself. Its hard not to worry about these things - but seriously I reckon there are far far worse things that people do - so in context it's not that bad IFYSWIM.

Blu · 27/02/2004 13:06

Twinkie, I'm not absolutey sure wht the law is around marriage and names but I'm pretty certain that you can just revert to you maiden name any time you want, like NOW. You don't have to have your ex's name. Not sure what you can do about DD's....BUT any new baby can have any name you choose to give him/her, I think, it doesn't depend on marriage.

Batters · 27/02/2004 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:51

You can change your name any time you like and IF you are pregnant you will be divorced from the ex. You can't change your dd's surname without permission from her dad, but my dd has her dad's name, lives most of the time with her mother, stepfather and three siblings who all have a different name to her and it honestly doesn't bother her a bit. Embarrasses her mum though

momof2 · 27/02/2004 14:56

Twinkie,
Also DP's ex has just had a baby with new DP and when they were in hospital the new baby was called by her EX's (ie my DP) surname as that is still her name - she hasn't changed it from when she was married.
Luckily we are all friends so were able to laugh about it, but I know my DP would be VERY VERY miffed if we had a baby and it was called my exh's surname!!
Anyway this is all a long way off, but worth remembering!!

momof2 · 27/02/2004 14:58

When I say called I mean the arm bracelet that they put on the new baby saying "baby X"

Original poster
Twinkie · 27/02/2004 15:12

Wouldn't revert to maiden name as hate father - could use mothers maiden name but that would mean me, DD, DP & NB all had different names - confusing or what!!

New Baby would have DPs name anyway so not worried about X2b with regards to that.

OP posts:
tigermoth · 28/02/2004 06:20

twinkie, hope you get the news you want to hear. Just for the record, over the years I know for a fact I had unprotected sex lots of times over my most fertile period with nothing happening. But two times something did happen, obviously as I now I have two children!

Busybody · 01/03/2004 17:21

Any news from your appointment this morning, Twinkie???

Kayleigh · 02/03/2004 14:58

Twinkie ? You ok ?

M2T · 02/03/2004 15:26

Goodness! How did I miss this one!!
Twinkie - Whats the score then????

secur · 02/03/2004 16:23

Message withdrawn

Helsbels · 02/03/2004 16:47

I changed my surname back to my maiden name after my divorce. I did not do it by deed poll - I just did it - changed driving licence/bank accounts etc. Apparantely it is legal as long as you are not trying to defraud anyone - it is something like common use name - my friend changed her name by deed poll to that of her dp because of the children, I was not married when I had ds and he had to take my surname whilst in hospital but then you can call them basically what you want to. Bear in mind though that changing your name will not give your dp parental responsibilty. Only marriage or a parental responsibilty order will do that. This affected us when ds needed his grommits - I had to sign the forms of consent as my dh who was dp at the time could not. Anyway, we are talking as if Twinkie is pg - hope you are ok Twinkie {{{}}}

Kayleigh · 03/03/2004 09:53

Twinkie, worrying about you. Is everything ok ?

Kayleigh · 03/03/2004 09:53

Twinkie, worrying about you. Is everything ok ?

Kayleigh · 03/03/2004 09:54

Obviously doubly worried !

marthamoo · 03/03/2004 10:01

Twinkie? Any news?

WideWebWitch · 03/03/2004 10:06

Twinkie, you can't post about Touche Eclat and then not tell us about this!

Original poster
Twinkie · 03/03/2004 10:11

Hi All (thanks for ebing concerned!!) - well as far as Monday went - it is nowhere to be seen and all is clean and sparkly down there with no sign of infection!!

As for the other stuff - well I couldn't wait - and I know its too soon - not due until Sunday but did a test a few minutes ago (first response) and got really big line and a very faint one - is it just me and wishful thinking though??

I have got myself to the stage that I will be sooo sad if I am not - god how rideculous - just as you guys said - I was terified of being Preggers and now if I test again in the mornig and find out I'm not I'll be really sad.

Really wanted a bloody mary last night but had a cocoa instead - I am a complete saddo!!

OP posts:
M2T · 03/03/2004 10:12

Twinkie - I got a very faint line a week before my AF was due and I'm due in August!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!