Come and join us on the brand new, rather fabulous, and very slightly notorious (or so we'd like to think!) JUST SHAGGING PART 19!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 18 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1843945-Put-on-your-capes-and-rub-the-Unicorn-belly-aka-my-dear-please-pour-baby-gravy-on-my-egg-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-18" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we become a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Not sure if the same rules apply every where but my employer states that to benefit from their occupational mat pay you have to have been employed by them for 29 weeks by the 11th week before your edd. SMP or MA is paid at the same rate so you get either one of them depending on your circumstances.

juniper I agree with the others go for the job you want, and the baby, with full gusto! Interesting to hear about the mat leave laws in the UK (not sure what they are in the States; I've been with my company for 10 years, so I'm as in the clear as you possibly can be, ha). I just finished reading "Lean In," written by one of the big (female) wigs at Facebook; she talks about those nine months of pregnancy as being a key time to really lean into your career, despite the fact that many women tend to step back turn down big projects and even promotions -- because they have a mindset of, "Oh, I'm going to be out soon for a bit soon anyway." Her opinion is, get as far ahead as you can now, so that when you do come back, you aren't behind the duration of your mat leave PLUS the nine months before it. That was a perspective I hadn't really thought about and it makes sense. However, I am already thinking about who to position on my team to handle things while I'm away...it could be soon! Had my annual gyno visit today, and, like my general doc, was very optimistic. She basically said, "See you in February or March!" I want to shush them all and keep them from jinxing me!

Officially down 17 pounds today.

cookie -- are you seriously doubting the tests, or just in denial? Sounds like a BFP to (uneducated) me!

Agree with the others juniper, go for it all and make the best decisions for you!

fifi I know midwives can fiddle the forms but a lady in my office was 10 days out of getting organisation may pay and midwife refused to change it! She only got statutory then. Meanie!

On a similar theme, I was offered a promotion today. Complete surprise and only had the day to think about it. I thought about the baby plans we have that the clearly dont know about but then thought we have to do what's right for us. If I was pregnant this month I would still have 8 months to prove myself and then if go on mat leave with more money!!

Congrats Dulcet! So have you decided to take it then!
And congrats on the 17 pounds Red!! When did you start tracking? That's loads!

Congrats on the offer dulcet are you going for it?

Red fab job on the weight loss! Can I have your secret please?

cookie that's an awful lot of positives. I know you don't want to build up hope but could it just be that it is a BFP?

So I am 8dpo, roughly 6 days to ertd and my list of symptoms so far are: uber sore breadsticks, sore lower back, funny taste in my mouth, random smells making me boke, crying at everything, tired, oh so tired. Viroids I think I am in need of a major hooya and a tube of Pringles because I am sooooo hungry!

Congratulations, dulcet! That's very exciting!

nessa, I started toward the end of August, after my initial consult. It's probably been about 12 weeks.

Ha, quark, I think the secret was knowing they would deny me IVF if I didn't get under the BMI limit. Also cutting down significantly on carbs. I thought I'd miss them, but I feel really satisfied with what I've been eating (and still having treats once in awhile). Small hooya to you since you have a few days to go...but interesting symptoms!

Strikethrough fail there!

That's brilliant Red!! It does help having a motivation, but that's excellent, you can be well chuffed
Quark, that is indeed an impressive range of symptoms!! Sending you a much needed HOOYA!! but also crossing fingers coz that sounds very positive!!

I think I am going to take it. I indicated I was going to but need to talk it through properly Monday.

ERTD due today so just tested and BFN so expect her anytime later today! Thought maybe Sod's law would work with the job and the clinic but looks like a no.

Those are some good symptoms quark but it's still really early so have a hooya! Patience!

17lb is fab red! Do you need to lose more for the treatment or was that enough to get you through?

ooh Quark! got everything crossed and sending you a great wodge of patience

Quark you really are in the TWOT! I've had emo moments and dragging fatigue but putting it down to lack of sleep. The only truly reliable symptom for me is, erm, slow moving digestion, (TMI - apologies) going from daily to weekly, hasn't happened... errr hang on, did I go yesterday?... Can't remember... Is forgetfulness a symptom?

some promising symptoms on the fred!

I turned down the opportunity to do my bosses mat cover due to also being pregnant. I miscarried two weeks later, a big regret, I should have just done it pregnant or not.

I had docs this morning to followup from my scan. She suspects endometriosis. does anyone know anything about this? I'm scared. only way to diagonosr would be a camera through the belly button and no cure but symptoms can be controlled with pill/coil. It can cause infertility . I've to go back in new year for gynea referall.

My stepmum has endometriosis and twins :) its not the end of baby making, might mean waiting a bit longer

Best of luck quark and congrats on the new job dulcet, I like the idea of some new jobs and BFPs on this thread!

Thanks red for your words of inspiration! Maybe it's just me but like has had so many disappointments lately I try to keep my dreams small, I'll stop doing that now!

Caved in and tested this morning (day 26) with an internet cheapie and it was bfn so bit disappointed but able to focus more on the interview.

^ life has had disappointments. Must proof read on phone.

Hello all, just grabbing 5 minutes off my lunch break to talk tell you my news, not sure If I am pregnant as I really shouldn't have looked at the test that late, as in I thought negative and came back to them each time over 10 minutes later, so I am gonna hold off to testing again till next week and use a first response.

That's not my news though, I've managed to get a hold of someone regarding the results of my genetic testing following the miscarriage and the results aren't good, I will find out more extensive results this afternoon when she calls back, but essentially there was something genetically wrong with the baby and dh and are going to be pulled in for blood tests

Fingers crossed quark

Oh bloody hell Cookie, that's a bit scary! Were they able to give you any more info over the phone or do you need to see someone? When do you go in for tests? Sorry, million questions, got everything crossed that this is nothing serious, I'm sure they have to follow up on been minor concerns, so it's not necessarily awful. Xx

*even minor concerns

cookie

did they say why they needed blood tests?

when I had my MC the doctor there explained that most miscarriages happen due to genetic problems - as in the cell division & multiplication is so fast paced, that even the tiniest of chromosome imperfection/breakage effects the whole development to such a degree that it just doesn't work out.

in other words, if something goes wrong in the very early stages it can go horribly wrong extremely quickly.
and that is why most MCs happen by the 12-13 week mark.

when we had the nuchal translucency test at the 12 week scan with Yasmin (we named her) it was something like 95 centile - so pretty much as bad as it can get.
the normal number is something like up to 5 or 10 centile of whatever they are measuring and I think Down-syndrome is something like 20 centile. (I can't remember exactly, over 50 you have a big hig problem)

we didn't need any extra testing - maybe because we already had 4 healthy kids?

anyway, was just wondering and hope it will be helpful.
fx

From what I read after our baby had Turners diagnosed (and I read waaaay too much ), there is a difference between chromosome disorders like Downs and Turners, and genetic disorders. Chromosome disorders are caused like you said Zing, it's a 'mistake' made when sperm meets egg, but it's random and not something that happens to one couple more than others, it's just the roll of a dice.
Genetic disorders are present in the genes of one or more of the parents, and so can be passed on to a baby in certain circumstances. I would assume that it's one of these disorders that sadly caused Cookies MC and because it was a genetic thing, testing her and her DP may be able to find out more about what it was and if it is preventable. It doesn't have to be awful though, it may be that the genetic issue they have only occurs say 1 in 1000 conceptions, they were just super unlucky this time. Like we were, but with our babies chromosomes Yasmin is a lovely name Zing

oh cookie how worrying for you. Try not to stress until you have more info though.

With my mc the tests results came back 'abnormal' (this is all I was told although I really pushed for more info) and that there was no evidence of pregnancy although clearly there was as we'd saw a sac on the scan twice. I got myself in a right tizz about it as I had to go back to hospital for bloods every two days for a few weeks until my hcg reached a low number. There are so many things it could be, ask plenty questions when you go to see them.

Nessa

I'm sure you know it better as you have recently researched it, sorry for any confusion!

it was 5 years ago I gad had that MC- tbh I don't remember exactly what was said, just the going wrong very quickly bit - and that he was talking about chromosomes and genes...
not long after we were told baby had no heartbeat.

so again sorry for saying the wrong things.

Don't be daft Zing, not the wrong thing at all I guess it's all just fresh in my mind, and I can be a bit of a fact machine sometimes!

Hello all, back again!

I've spoken to the midwife in more detail now and basically its a really really really rare complication and either I, Dh or both of us are carriers of the gene that has caused the deformity on the first chromosome or that we are just unlucky and have a rare complication, we are going for blood tests on Monday and then we will find out exactly where we stand a couple weeks after that. She did say that if we are both carriers then i won't be able to have a baby!!

We know it was a boy, which has given me some comfort and made this some what easier now i know.

Also she said not to ttc until we get the results