Angels and Rainbows-remembering our angels and hoping for rainbows

[Star0909]

New thread ladies. Come in here for support.

I'm sure youl get 2 missa

Has anyone heard of this thing about it being bad luck to bring the pram in the house before a baby is born? I saw a thread on it the other day and it panicked me lol! I brought the pram in a day before we lost dd and I'm a sucker for these things! I never heard of that before though!

Am I being stupid?!

Hi all
Ducky obviously I don't know for sure how your hospital will handle your meeting on Monday but I can say from our experience we also had to 'report' to the antenatal bit where the scans are done when we had our PM meeting. When we got there the receptionist had a note I saw on her desk with my name on it and some writing. As soon as I said my name she recognised why we were there and took us straight through to a private room where we waited for the consultant to come in and talk to us, so there was no hanging about with the bumps. I hope your meeting is handled well and it gives you some peace if that's possible.

As for the pram thing, we had ours for about 8 weeks before we lost 'H'.Personally I don't think it made a pig in a pokes difference but that's just me. Mind you, this from the woman who not only talks to magpies but tells them "don't bother, you don't scare me!'

MissA everything will be crossed for your and your little beans tomorrow x

blue hope all is going ok and the sickness in manageable

Waves to all rainbow mummy's, lurkers and new angel mums also lurking x

Missa have everything crossed for you today

Ducky we actually had the meeting with the consultant when there was a gynae list on rather than antenatal clinic. The worst thing was actually walking into the hospital again.

Hope everyone is well.

Just at work have had somebody come up to me that I haven't seen for a while with a big CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Actually the first time I've had this and ouch it bloody hurt. In fact I feel more angry than upset, how dare they! I know I am being unreasonable.

I managed to spend Mothers Day abroad which was bliss.

Anyways. Deep breaths will get back on with work...

LittleTulip - your not being unreasonable :( x

ducky we had to go to the maternity ward for our pm/consultant meetings, but, similar to Ruby, when we buzzed in they meet us at the door and whisked us into a side room therefore avoiding the bumps and babies. Hopefully you will be treated with the same respect. If not, could you tell them you are there and that you will wait in the corridor until called? Hope it doesn't come to that tho.

tulip hope you are OK. That must have been very very difficult to manage, especially at work where you are trying to get on with things I imagine. I did have it once with someone visiting work who hadn't been in for a while asking how I was and did I have any pictures? It took a while for me to click that they didn't actually know what had happened, I stood there saying um no no pictures with me thinking wtf?

missa hope it went well today.

Ducky Never heard of the pram thing, but of course youre not being stupid. We didnt even have a pram bought when we lost A, we were thinking we'd wait and get one in the January sales. I think in our position we have enough to worry about so if bringing the pram inside before is a big deal for you - then just dont do it, make life less stressy however you can

Tulip oh how awful for you, I cringed when I read that. Obviously they didnt mean to upset you, but still. You are most definitely NOT being unreasonable! Good for you getting away on Mothers day

Hi to Ruby, Owl, Star and everyone else

AFM we had the scan late yesterday, and there are two little hearts beating away in there! She mananged to put a damper on the moment for us though by telling us constantly that its very unlikely that they will both make it. When we asked what problems we are facing if they DO both make it, her answer was "just think of all possible problems and double them". When we asked about the birth plan she said "oh dont even think about that yet, its so far away and anything can happen". So very optimistic and caring (not) . We have another scan in two weeks to see how things are progressing. I'm going to give her another chance, maybe she just had a bad day, and if not then I'm going to change to another obstet. I really have enough anxiety without having to put up with that sort of attitude.

Hope you all have a peaceful weekend xx

So glad everything was ok missa!! And what a horrible thing of her to say, people can be so horrible!!

My mom is on her way round to take the pushchair to hers, my husband keeps sayin I'm silly but I've been brought up to always salute magpies and NEVER walk under ladders and all that

I went to the dentist today, the last time i was there she was laughing because my next appt would fall just after my due date and she was saying don't worry if you can't make it, then when I turned up today she said 'I'm surprised to see you here, I'm sure your really busy with your new baby' then I burst into tears in the middle of the dentist.

So sorry for your experience at the dentist ducky and yours too at work littletulip we had so many of those over the first few months and there's just no way of handling them as far as I've ever worked out. My dcs swimming teacher shouted across the pool to the place where parents watch "have you had the baby then?", I think that was less than a week afterwards. I returned to work and had at least three people separately ask me whether I'd had a boy or a girl, including one on my first day back and one on my last day when leaving. (((Hugs))).

missalex so very pleased things are all looking good :). Can't believe the comments (well I can, obviously but ykwim) definitely you should change if it continues - you don't need that kind of approach from anyone. Are you under the same hospital as before btw or are you able to go elsewhere?

ruby I'm coping with the sickness ok thanks - fizzy water is my friend :). And chocolate milk. I actually had half an hour of not feeling sick this afternoon and got paranoid it was all going wrong. Judging by how i feel right now tho, it should be fine! Getting nervous of the scan on mon, just keep telling myself the odds a are good after the last scan at 8wks & having been sick. How are you feeling now?

owl how's things?

Just got back from pm appt they said the placenta wasn't working properly and she stopped growing .

They're getting me in for blood tests in two weeks to see if I have a blood condition, this has terrified me has this happened to anyone else?

I'm on my phone so can't post properly but didn't want to read and run. Ducky in a horrible way it is good that they found a reason, your care should be much more specialist next time. Please don't be scared about the blood disorder, I had a while load of tests when I lost F and one of them found a blood disorder-antiphospholipid syndrome (DON'T google it!). It actually wasn't why he died, but it can be (and often is) the cause of recurrent miscarriage and stillbirth. I was scared when I first found out too (I was 10wks pg with my Rainbow when they told me) but it is very easily treated with a low dose of aspirin and a daily injection (not as bad as it sounds). I also had regular growth scans where they also checked blood flow to the placenta to keep an eye on things. I also lurk on a couple of other threads on mumsnet and there are several people who have had a similar diagnosis and gone on to have healthy babies. I know it is scary, but the more you and they know, the better. Please do ask me any questions. How are you feeling apart from scared about the blood tests? I found the PM meeting quite strange. I was so worked up about it before I kind of sat through it in a daze, I didn't even cry. Can you contact your consultant to ask questions? I found my questions came much later, it was too hard to think of them there and then. Well done for getting through it, it's a big milest

Ducky dont be scared, like Star says its good that they have found the problem, that way they can sort it out for your rainbow. A failing placenta was one of the reasons we lost A (nobody picked up on it) and this time round I am on the baby aspirin and the injections. You have to do them yourslef every day but you get used to it, theyre not too bad. Make a written list of questions for two weeks time, that way you wont get nervous and forget what you want to ask x

Blue hope the scan goes well today

AFM really scared (TMI alert) started spotting bright red blood this morning. I'm going to call the obstet, see what she says. Panicking already though

MissA that is scary. I am in knots because I have everything crossed for you x

They said that i could have that star, or maybe lupus .

I kind of felt a bit fobbed off, they said it was most likely she passed when I was 28 weeks (so the midwife missed it as I thought) when I questioned that they completely changed the subject and tried to change what they just said. They also said that her head was massively improportianate to her body, they said this was as the placenta wasn't giving her what she needed the body tries to maintain the brain so that part of her body grows and not the rest, but everyone who saw her agree that she looked proportionate

I have to go back in 2 weeks I think for the blood tests as it has to be at least 3 months from giving birth.

Missa, I really do hope everything is ok. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you x

Had some bad news last night, my friend' sister lost her baby at 38 weeks so strange as it happened to me and I completely didn't know what to say.

missalex I hope you're ok, keeping everything crossed here for you too xx
ducky I think it's just routine to do those blood tests if it looks like there was a prob with the placenta - I had them too although they didn't show anything, I think it's just one of the things they can actually treat in a future pg so well worth checking for.
It sounds awful that you were fobbed off, they're supposed to answer all your questions as openly and honestly as they can, there was even a sign up in the room we had ours in saying so! Did you get to see the actual notes? The cons had them all in a big folder & went through them with us - and said we can always see them again if we need to. They were very detailed - you can make a request to get a copy of all the paperwork if you want? It should actually have measurements of weight/head size etc I'd have thought so you can check which centiles. But it depends how much you think knowing those sorts of things will help you.
I'm so sorry for your friends' sister, and I know what you mean about still not knowing what to say, we went to a family funeral recently & I still wasn't sure even tho I felt I ought to know by now.
star good to hear from you, I hope things are all going well?
Afm, the scan was fine, I found it incredibly hard tho & was convinced there wasn't a hb even when she said there was! Still not going public for now, not sure how long I can hide it for but maybe another couple of weeks...
missa more (((hugs)))

No he didn't show us any notes. In fact he didn't open them himself! He must have been looking at them before.

I think they are trying to cover for this particular midwife who failed to send me for a scan at 28 weeks. I have since found out that there have been quite a few complaints about her and a few people have refused to see her at all.

I've calmed down a bit now, had to vent! Lol. Was very worried about the bloods but sounds like it is routine. Fingers crossed they all come back ok

Star so so glad your scan showed all is well, can identify with not believing what the scan is saying x

Ducky really sorry you got that treatment at your PM results appointment. I thought I was the only one to get that sort of reaction but see you did too :(

AFM what a nightmare. The red spotting turned into huge gushes so we rushed to emergency and they did a scan. Thankfully the two little beans are still hanging on and they both have heartbeats, but there is a hematoma in there and apparently my chances of miscarrying have gone skyhigh. Bedrest until my next appointmet next Thursday but they were pretty honest about what they can do (nothing). I might have known it was too good to be true

Hugs to all xx

MissA I'm so sorry that you have this additional worry. I have everything crossed for you that your little beans hang on. Sending lots of sticky vibes and un-MN hugs x

Missa :-( keeping everything crossed for you. X

Thanks Star and Ducky and apologies for the name mix-up, the scan message was meant for Blue...my mind is addled right now. Dont know how I'm going to manage this bedrest thing - I'm going mad with boredom already and the temptation to Google all sorts of scary info is really strong

xx

Missa so sorry for everything you are going through. We bled at 5 weeks this time for about 10 days on and off and were convinced we had 'had it'. My husband asked me nicely in the end to stop googling cos it was driving me mad. We just want a crystal ball though and the feeling of powerlessness is what is worst I think. In saying that knicker watch is torture isn't it?

You and DH are in my thoughts and prayers. You are so strong to have got this far and I hope it helps over the next week. I think this thread is exempt from the mumsnet anti hugs policy so everything I have is coming your way x

Will post properly tomorrow, but just wanted to send love to missa stay strong, keep yourself calm, step away from the internet (except mumsnet!).

Ruby you made me laugh with the knicker-watch torture, and yes its happening at least every 30 mins! Can I ask you if your bleeding was heavy or just spotting and did they give you a reason? TMI alert mine was a huge flood, ran down my legs and pooled on the floor, seems crazy that the beans could have held on while all that was happening. This morning I'm still sick as a dog so hoping that means they're still there? The last time I had a bleed like this it ended as a cervical pregnancy, a true nightmare too. In the beginning they told me not to worry as I only had a 1 in 10,000 chance of it being cervical and it would most likely be a "normal" ectopic... I was the one in 10,000 Statistics dont convince me any more.

I had no idea there was a no-hug policy on Mumsnet, but like you say surely this thread should be exempt...but apologies if I have annoyed anyone as I have often sent hugs or kisses on here. Anyway thank you for your hug Ruby and here's one right back at you x

Owl thanks for the good wishes, if I'm just laid in bed there is no way I can stay away from Dr Google so I'm going to get up and sit out for a bit in the garden, its gorgeous out there today and I think it'll be better for me than terrifying myself with horror stories. Hug to you too x

Hope everyone is doing ok

MissA we all need ((((hugs)))) on this thread! Continuing to think of you and if hope the vitD and sunshine calms your spirits x

Missa was joking about the hugs thing although it always amuses me when I see on other threads people write "un-mumsnet hugs". To be honest I think most of the things the ladies on this thread have had to take on the chin would make most peoples hair curl so we can do what we like. What ever gets us through!

Ok TMI alert! The bleeding started as pale pink when I wiped then after about three days went to fresh red like a period but not as heavy. It was on and off pink, red, brown for 12 days in total. I really didn't know what to think. They said they thought it was an implantation bleed? I know from my googling that there are stories for good and bad all over the internet.

Hope your afternoon in the sun has helped a little. When will they scan you again?

Hope everyone else is doing ok x

Star yes I think we could all do with a good hug, be it virtual or not. A couple of years ago I went to see Amma, the "Hugging Saint" dont know if you know her? She is an Indian lady who travels the world hugging millions of people and doing fantastic work for charity. It was an amazing experience, hard to describe, it didnt last very long but the depth of feeling she managed to transmit in those few seconds was incredible. Makes me get goosebumps just remembering it. Thank you, yes the sunshine did boost my spirits a bit

Ruby how scary for you too with the bleeding , and thank goodness it was nothing serious in the end. How are you feeling?

AFM All is quiet here for the time being, no new bleeding. I'm sticking with the positive stories I've read, and will just try to block out all the other stuff. We have another scan next Thursday, it seems a lifetime away. I'm not too happy with the doctor though, when we went in for the first scan at 7pm she said all looked fine and there was no hematoma, sent me home. Two hours later I was bleeding really heavily and went straight to the emergency obstet dept where they immediately saw the hematoma. How did she miss it just 2 hours before? I asked the emergency doctor if its possible for one to appear in just two hours and she just mumbled something - it makes me so angry how they always cover each others backs whatever. Anyway its knocked my confidence in her a bit, or maybe the scan machine she has at her office isnt as good as they have at the hospital. We are with a completely different team this time, so was hoping to feel a bit more confident...

Waves to all, I hope you all have as good an Easter weekend as possible x