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Angels and Rainbows-remembering our angels and hoping for rainbows

998 replies

Star0909 · 29/10/2013 09:27

New thread ladies. Come in here for support.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 19/03/2014 10:29

missa the temptation to test must be so strong! Keeping fingers crossed here.

OwlinaTree · 19/03/2014 10:31

The owlet monitor sounds great, will look into that! We've already got the Angel care sleep monitor, you are right it does help with the worry.

Rubyshoe · 19/03/2014 22:50

Hi all sorry short post tonight just got home from work and shattered! Just To say thanks to all those who thought of us yesterday. Scan went well, measuring 12+3. All looks good. Scan was actually done by our consultant which I was really surprised about but very re-assuring. Next target, midwife at 16 weeks.

Sorry not to individually name check tonight but my bed is calling. Hope all those rainbows are snugly and well and sleeping a little and days are being kind to everyone. MissA step away from those sticks! (Unless you can't resist in which case just go for it!)

Will post properly tomorrow. X

Ducky23 · 19/03/2014 22:57

Glad the scan went well Smile

missalexandra · 22/03/2014 19:36

Ruby really glad everything was fine with your scan!

I finally couldnt bear it any longer so I went and bought a test at the chemists (still no sign of the Internet ones) and this morning got a definite BFP!!! Shock Shock Didnt even have to squint to see the pink line. Had a brief moment of utter joy which quickly changed to fear that things will end the same as the last time. Now have to wait till Monday for the Beta blood test...

Waves to all xx

Ducky23 · 22/03/2014 19:42

Congratulations missalexandra!!!!! Grin X

OwlinaTree · 22/03/2014 21:22

Oh missa! That's so fantastic. Keeping fingers crossed for you!!

LittleTulip · 22/03/2014 22:14

Congratulations missa!!!! So pleased for you xxxx

Congrats to all the Rainbow babies too and sad but warm welcome to the newbies

....back to lurking Wink

Ducky23 · 23/03/2014 11:06

Just incase you didn't know, there's a channel 4 dispatches programme on tomorrow at 8 on stillbirth x

missalexandra · 24/03/2014 16:52

Thank you lovely ladies for all that finger-crossing! It seems to have worked because this morning I went for my beta blood test and the result is fantastic! I actually gave in to temptation and did another home test on Sunday morning and the line was quite a bit fainter than Saturdays so I was preparing for the worst - those home tests really are evil! I looked on the beta charts and my results are in the numbers for triplets which is impossible as we only had two embryos transferred Shock. Going back on Wednesday for another test to make sure the numbers are doubling. We hardly dare believe it.

Thanks Ducky will watch the programme tonight. Hope youre having gentle days.

Love to all xx

OwlinaTree · 24/03/2014 19:44

This is so great missa!!! Keep looking after yourself now.

Rubyshoe · 25/03/2014 08:04

MissA that's fantastic! So pleased for you! Like Owlina said take it easy and look after yourself. Have everything crossed for you x

BlueSkyandRain · 25/03/2014 22:33

Well I've been off here for a few days (feeling very sick, bleurghh) & have missed so much!

Congratulations jules so very pleased for you, although sorry things must've been so nerve wracking to begin with. I hope you're able to relax and enjoy your beautiful baby now :)

Welcome ducky, I'm sorry you find yourself here but I hope you find this thread helps, I've certainly found it so helpful to not feel alone in my experiences. I felt for you with your description of suffering sickness & a difficult pg then the loss of your baby. I too struggled all the way through my pg - long working hours, very sick and then a terrible fluey bug followed by sinusitis which caused headaches for weeks, finally went on mat leave at 35 weeks which was the first time i'd felt well all pg - then at 36 weeks I had a massive bleed caused by the placenta coming away early and depriving my son of oxygen - he'd died by the time I got to hospital. I still can't quite believe it all actually happened in some ways.

missalex I'm so very pleased to hear your news, I am on tenterhooks to hear your blood results tomorrow. Hope you're managing ok. Thanks for asking about work and about E's anniversary, unfortunately you're premature on both counts - both are next week, so I've still got it all to come. And I'm going to have to start off by telling them I'm pg... on the anniversary of the day I haemorrhaged. Not looking forward to next week tbh!

ruby good to hear all was well at your scan, hope you've had some rest now.
owl & star still thinking of you, hope you're settling into your new way of life :)

My sickness has eased off quite a bit today, I'm 9+5 I'm really hoping its just that I'm starting to feel better rather than that things are going wrong... Not that I want to feel so rough, but wish I could have another scan now, not even got a date for one yet. Arghh. Today I am pg, today I am pg...

Waves to tulip hope you're ok & to anyone else lurking

BlueSkyandRain · 26/03/2014 09:36

Well, the sickness has definitely come back today! Envy

Rubyshoe · 26/03/2014 15:33

Oh dear Blue! I'm so sorry..... Toast worked for me. That and telling myself sickness was a good sign cos it meant lots of lovely pregnancy hormones.....hope it gets better soon!

Hope all the rainbow mums are doing ok and getting a little bit of sleep!

Fingers firmly crossed for you today Miss A x

How are you doing Ducky? Is the talk of rainbows and pregnancies ok? I know when we first lost H I found it comforting to know there was light at the end of the tunnel hopefully. I found most pregnancies and bumps very difficult but it was somehow different amongst the mums on here. hope the days are being gentle on you.

Waves to Tulipand sleeping*and all other lurkers x

Ducky23 · 26/03/2014 15:41

Hi Smile

I am loving hearing of all these successful pregnancies!

Having a bit of a bad week this week, think it's because it's coming up to my due date Confused

Hope everyone is good :) x

missalexandra · 26/03/2014 17:06

Blue great to hear from you, I am a born worrier so was wondering if everything was ok! I know when youre hung over the toilet bowl things dont feel "ok" though, sorry youre feeling so yucky. Im with Ruby on the toast, I think I lived on toast and cheese until about 15 weeks. Have you seen the offers on Groupon for scans? They are so much cheaper than paying privately and if the anxiety gets really bad maybe you could buy one of those? sorry for jumping the gun with E's anniversary and your job, will be thinking of you on both counts next week x

Ruby hope all is well with your wriggly little bear. Are you totally over the morning sickness now?

DuckySo sorry to hear youre having a particulary bad week, knowing your due date is coming soon is really hard, so many what-ifs. Have you got plenty of support? Big virtual hug for you

Thinking of you Owl, Star and Jules and your rainbow bundles, hope you're all doing great.

Hi to Tulip in lurkdom, Sleeping , Olivia and everyone else

AFM well we got the second results and the beta has doubled and some more. Such a relief. Does anyone else think nearly 700 for a first beta one day before the official test date might mean more than one bean? All my other BFPs have been about 120 or less for the same day...the clinic refuses to comment until after theyve done the first scan but it does seem really high. Suppose we'll just have to wait till next Thursday to find out...

Like Ruby says, I hope all this talk of pregnancy doesnt upset anyone, and serves to give someone out there hope that there can be a rainbow after the storm xx

Rubyshoe · 26/03/2014 19:03

Woohoo! Go Miss A! Couldn't be more excited for you! Fingers crossed. Today we are pregnant..... Hope exists x

Ducky Sorry you are having a rough time. Hope you are able to take it a day at a time and on days when that got too much I remember breaking it down into hours. Trying to get through one at a time. It's the darkest place I have ever been and there is no quick fix or easy way out. It's rubbish cos to get through to the other side you have to go through it and it's overwhelming. You are not alone though. We are all with you and here for you x

Rubyshoe · 26/03/2014 19:12

Jodie Hope you are ok too. Guessing maybe you are lurking at the moment? Hope days are being kind to you x

Ducky23 · 26/03/2014 21:49

I'm being a bit of a lurker Smile

I got told today that the post mortem results have come back but it may still take a few weeks for an appointment to come through and they cannot tell me anything at all over the phone :(

Has anyone had the post mortem appointment? I don't know what to expect :-/

Your all a great help and it gives me a lot of hope hearing all these stories of lovely rainbow babies x

Rubyshoe · 27/03/2014 07:56

Ducky We had our PM meeting about 3.5 months after we lost H. It was very sad but did give us some peace. They were able to find a cause which was infection which they thought she had had for at most 24hours before she died. So frustrating as she was 2 days overdue. If only she had been born on time, but I think this thread is full of stories with 'if only' at the beginning.

The meeting was positive as the consultant was able to set our minds at rest about the chances of it happening again and he used it very much as a chance to say what would be done next time and how we would be monitored which did give us some hope.

Hope everyone is ok today. Blue how is the sickness?

owl, Star and Jules hope all is going well x

OwlinaTree · 27/03/2014 10:54

My pm experience was very similar to ruby, they went through the report and explained what they had found out, pretty much what the hospital had already said. They also talked about the future and how we could be given extra care, and luckily for us, how a future pregnancy was unlikely to have the same outcome. It did help us feel more positive about trying again.

Baby owl is doing well thanks ruby. Hope you are feeling well today.

So delighted it's going well with the IVF missa. Can't wait to hear on Thursday - so excited for you!

BlueSkyandRain · 27/03/2014 11:28

ruby yes toast was quite good, til I threw some up the other day! Has put me off a bit now! But yes, I'm getting through with telling myself it's a good sign, and the last few days its not been totally all day and night, I've had bits of time feeling better - so the end is in sight I think! Fizzy water is my thing atm, but I've run out so need to get some more..

ducky I'm sorry you're finding this week particularly hard because of your due date coming up. I don't know why, but these dates that mark things in our heads do just seem to be so much harder, even tho we say to ourselves it's just another day. I guess it highlights what 'should/would have been'. I'm dreading the anniversary of E's death/birth next week in the same way, but I know often it's the runup more than the day itself. Be kind to yourself, try to let the time drift a bit and only spend time with people who give to you iyswim, the people who build you up & feel good to be around.
With the pm - ours was 12 weeks after E died, they explained that they get some results sooner than others and think its better to get them all then go through them all at once. I guess also they need to be thorough when explaining things & it'd be easy for someone to give you half an answer rather than a full picture over the phone. not that it makes it any easier to wait. I'd written down all my questions in the couple of weeks beforehand which meant i didn't miss anything out. Our consultant was lovely, explained everything, answered all questions (where he could - obviously often the answer is, we don't know, sometimes it just goes wrong) and he broached the subject of trying again before we had to ask. I think they know a lot of people feel desperate to. One of my big fears was that he'd say he wouldn't recommend it, esp as we already have other children, but he was very encouraging, and it's really helped me with fears in this pg - I just got referred back to the same cons by my mw yesterday, so I already know how he'll approach things iyswim. For me, although it didn't give complete 'closure', I did find it helpful to have the answers that were available and to have it reiterated yet again, by somebody who knows their stuff, that it wasn't anything I did/didn't do. One thing I would say tho, is that I think a lot of us on here have said before we felt quite deflated afterwards - it's just such a big thing in the lead up to it & we focus on it, and then it's all over and you have to go back to getting on with life still without your baby here. I don't know if being aware of that in advance might help a bit. Thinking of you xx

jodie I'm sorry I didn't welcome you, for some reason I thought you were the same person as ducky before a namechange, not quite sure why. Please do post more if it helps.

missalex I am actually tearing up at your news, it's so brilliant. I've no idea about the numbers and what they mean, but at the very least its a very very good sign :) :) :) thanks for the advice about groupon, hadn't crossed my mind to look, but I will do.

Waves to all lurkers and wishing gentle days to all x

BlueSkyandRain · 27/03/2014 11:34

Hello owl good to hear things are going well, I missed your post you must have written it whilst I was writing my essay!
Can I ask... I'm jumping the gun a bit at only 10 weeks & don't want to jinx it but i cant help wondering. How do you feel now that you finally have your rainbow? Do you feel more at peace now, or have things not really changed like that? (Or just up& down & knackered like all new mums...!). Don't answer if you don't want to btw.

Ducky23 · 27/03/2014 18:23

Thanks for your replies. My name was jodie but changed it to ducky :)

Hope everyone is doing well.

It's really nice how supportive people have been on here and it means a lot that you take the time to reply Smile x

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