Angels and Rainbows-remembering our angels and hoping for rainbows

[Star0909]

New thread ladies. Come in here for support.

Kayleigh I hope that you manage to find some sort of healthy inbetween solution, where looking after your poorly mum isn't all-consuming but similarly, you don't feel like you're letting her down... Do you ever talk to her about your baby? My mum us a surprisingly crap person to talk to about baby G, despite the fact she herself had a still urn baby at 37 weeks...but I'm guessing not all mums are this rubbish?!

We decided to go to France, to my husband's family farm/home, this weekend, to scatter/bury the ashes and plant a tree in memory of baby G. I have to go to the crematorium tomorrow morning by myself to pick up the ashes. That's going to be one long and tearful journey...

I'm thinking of you all and sending loving vibes xx

Argh, dirty about autocorrect. Stillborn of course, not urn...

Will be thinking of you m x

Is there not anyone that can go with you at all? I found that a very very difficult journey to make

Waves to everyone x

Thank you Mademoiselle. My mum was in the room when Ben was born, and she also saw him the day before the funeral at the undertakers. We do talk about Ben sometimes, but if i'm honest i prefer to talk about him with my closest friends. The one thing that has disappointed me is that my mum hasn't been up to the grave since the funeral, which i thought mum would do.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

Ill be thinking of you tomorrow M. Sending bucket loads of strength your way x

Thank you all.
Autocorrect still found a way to make me smile!

And nope, not sure who can come, dh is at work and I wouldn't really want anyone else there?...

And off to the crematorium I go...

Thank you all for your kind thoughts xx

Thinking of you this morning mademoiselle xx

kayleigh I'm sorry af has arrived & that you have the extra stress with your dm. My dm also has heart probs and had several admissions to hospital both during my pg with E and since. She seems to have got the drugs sorted atm, and we're all much less worried but I really feel for you being on your own with it - my df is pretty healthy so he dealt with practical things. I'm not sure I'd have been able to delay ttc tbh for anyone, I hope bhf is helpful for supporting you so that you don't have to

missalex the image of a dancing octopus made me laugh! Tbh if I eat stuff with a load of sugar in she does usually have a good wriggle. The trouble is I'm worrying so much of the time that I'm ending up eating a lot of sugar! And I think she sometimes needs a nap even if I have eaten it. I'm not reassured unless there's some disco dancing going on . I'm sorry your test has just given you another thing to worry about. I don't know much about gd, but I've always though it was something that was quite treatable, which it sounds like from what M has said.

earth I think you're right, sometimes I'm so tense about movements that I don't really feel them. How odd?! I'm not sure I could sleep with dh like that, but the last couple of nights I've made sure I've gone to sleep straight after some good movements - I don't have any difficulty falling asleep normally (it's that I'm waking up a lot), and I figure there should be several hours after good movements before I could reasonably need to get checked out. Haven't been quite so bad the last couple of nights, although I have been pretty paranoid during the day to make up for it! I think the thing is, all the advice is so vague - a 'change in pattern', 'a reduction in what's normal for you'... It's so subjective & makes it all my responsibility. Oh well. 2months to go...

Waves to critter, betty, ruby - not long now??, ducky, anyone I've missed x

Thinking of you M, I hope you are as ok as can be expected x

Blue-I know exactly what you mean when you say it's all your responsibility, I felt the same. I was so relieved when my rainbow got here, not only because we made it through the pg and delivery safely but because now the responsibility to keep him safe is shared. I know these last 2 months will feel like forever but you are nearly there, just keep focussing on a day at a time.

MissA, why can't the universe just cut you a break and have you sail through one of these tests without being called back? I'm sorry you've got the extra worry. I know a couple of people who have had GD, 2 have managed it by diet alone and one needed insulin as well. From what I can gather it really is very manageable and the main risk is that it goes undetected x

Thank you Blue xx

Mademoiselle thinking of you this morning, hate the idea of you going alone so wishing you strength and sending a big hug x Thanks for the info on how your SIL is coping with GD. Your DH sounds similar to mine, I was told the other day he is "sick of me being sad and pessimistic when things are going well"...I think they somehow seem to be able to concentrate on the future and not dwell on the past. Trouble is, our babies were meant to be our future, so not sure how they do it

Kayleigh I have a minor heart problem too, and can tell you that it is quite terrifying. The thought that something might happen at any moment and you only have seconds/minutes to respond can be all-consuming and difficult to control, and after so many scary episodes your Mum must be so frightened. Sounds to me like she needs some sort of professional help, even if its only someone to talk to about her fears. Could you convince her to see a psycologist maybe? Or just go to a group with other sufferers? I hope BHF can help. I so feel for you, you are going through hell with your own problems and have to shoulder your Mums too. ((hug))

Blue know what you mean about the advice being so vague, and there used to be that "10 moves in an hour" thing but apparently they dont advise that anymore! I'm dying to see some sort of pattern but at the same time dreading it as I know that when its not strictly the same every day I will be just like you! Dont know what to suggest really, just cross my fingers you get lots of reassuring disco-dancing :)

Earth yes I wish that too! But then I think that while I'm still having to re-do all these tests it means I'm still pregnant, and I feel so blessed for that. Been having a look on Dr Google and like you say it sounds like GD can be controlled by diet and if not, by insulin. So I'm going to try and not worry to much. For the moment I have given up my daily sinful pleasure which is a white-chocolate-covered Oreo for dessert after dinner!

Does anyone have any tips on what to do with cold sores? I have suddenly developed a huge, really painful one on my top lip and dont want to use any of those creams from the chemist. Not sure why its appeared as I usually get them when I have a bad cold and I havent had one.

Waves to Critter, Ruby, Ducky, ATM and anyone Ive missed x

Thanks MissA i can appreciate that mum may be scared of further health problems. I remember she was so looking forward to feeling better after her operations, but instead she seems to have dug herself into a black hole. I'm having trouble talking to her about anything at the moment let alone attempting to convince her to get help. She doesn't really do much these days apart from sit at home and smoke (which she probably should not be doing), and i'm petrified of how this is going to harm her further.

In response to your cold sore issue; someone told me aftershave dabbed on is supposed to get rid of them, although i imagine this would hurt/sting quite a bit :/

Waves to everyone xx

Mademoiselle thinking of you today. I hope you're as ok as is humanly possible to be.

MissA I have a top tip for cold sores if you don't want to use a cream - ice cubes! Get an ice cube, and hold it against the cold sore for as long as possible (20 mins or so). It will melt so worth holding it with some kitchen towel to absorb the water. But it really does help reduce the swelling and make them go away faster. I think the virus hates the cold!

Kayleigh so sorry about your mum.

Waves to everyone else.

Thinking of you m x

Hi all. How's everyone doing?

Just de-lurking to ask a quick question. For those of you expecting or having had your rainbows, at what point did you first see the consultant in your pregnancies?

I've had my booking appointment etc done with the community midwives and have an appointment or my 12 week scan on the 21st but there's been no mention of seeing the consultant. When we got our pm results we were told that the consultant would prescribe aspirin from 12 weeks in future pregnancies, so I assumed we'd be seeing one.

I asked the community midwife about it and she said I'd probably see one straight after my scan on the 21st but I wasn't convinced so I called women's outpatients where my scan is booked and they said that I won't be seeing a consultant and if I require aspirin, I can ask the midwife who sees me at my scan for some!

What do I do next? Call my lovely supportive GP and ask her advice/ask her to call the hospital? Speak with community midwife again? Wait until my scan and ask the midwife for some aspirin?

Thanks in advance of your responses. Hope everyone is as well as can be expected/hoped for. All the ladies in this thread are regularly in my thoughts x

Hi All Terrain Mammy, I would contact the supervisor of midwives (her details should be on your hospital website), putting your request in writing, outlining what happened in your previous pregnancy, and saying why you feel seeing a consultant is necessary (peace of mind is a perfectly good reason). I've previously found that putting things in writing is the surest way of making them actually happen. Others may have further ideas x

Hi ATM,

Hope you don't have the same issues I'm having about getting the treatment i was promised

I saw my consultant at 9 weeks which was supposed to be my 12 week (they wouldn't listen to me about my dates) and he prescribed aspirin then, I saw him after my scan.

Can you contact your consultant direct? Or explain to your mw that you have been told that and she can arrange it ?

Really hope it's sorted quickly for you and hope the scan goes well x

ATM I still haven't :(. I was supposed to at 16weeks but it was a locum, again at 26 after a scan, (same locum), and then just a registrar after my most recent scan at 28 - she wasn't v encouraging or knowledgable tbh. I actually only got the 28wk scan as the receptionist misread the locum's writing to say 2weeks til next scan rather than 4.. I decided not to protest!. I have another scan at 31 (they'd have left it longer if I hadn't pushed), and I've called the consultants secretary to check it'll actually be him running the clinic. Which apparently it will & she's made a note for it to be him rather than anyone else who sees me. If that still doesn't get me anywhere I'll have to really kick up a fuss I think. Maybe you could try calling the secretary of your consultant?

Waves to all x

Hi ATM, I saw my consultant at 12 weeks after my scan. I would definitely kick up a fuss and call/write do whatever you need to, particularly because you've been told you will need aspirin and nobody has prescribed it yet. I agree that peace of mind is a good enough reason to see a consultant. Hope you get it sorted out soon x

Oh and your gp can prescribe it too ATM x

Thanks for the replies everyone. Will my consultant be the same person we saw to get the pm results? If so, I might give his secretary a call this week.

Having my first major wobble so far this pregnancy, the last few days I've just completely stopped feeling pregnant. I'm 10+4 and other than being full of cold, just feel 'normal' again. Felt sick up until about 13 weeks with DD an felt ill until about 17 weeks with F. I know all pregnancies are different but I'm convincing myself that there's not going to be a baby there where I have my scan.

Pleased I have you guys to confide in. Waves to everyone.

• when I have my scan, not where!

Mine was who I saw for the pm results.

I know what you mean about the wobbles ATM, this is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I'm pretty sure it's normal for symptoms to trail off at this stage but you should defo speak to your mw for reassurance, they will completely understand given what you have been through I didn't have any symptoms with this pg apart from tierdness, with dd I was constantly pulking up until 16ish weeks (which is quite late for ms I think) x

I'm having major movement anxiety every day now I will text my friend saying 'that's it he's not moved for x hours' then I feel him later. I'm getting myself so worked up I'm having more panic attacks

ATM my consultant is the same as when we lost 'H'. He did our follow up PM meeting as well. He told us then to contact his secretary when we got pregnant again which we did and she booked an 8 week reassurance scan and then the 12 week scan and appointment. When we got to the 12 week scan we expected it to be a sonographer and then we would see the consultant, but when the door of the scanning room opened it was the Consultant himself and her did our scans at both 12 and 20 weeks. The growth scans at 28 and our one at 34 weeks in 10 days time will b sonographers I think. We saw the registrar at 28 weeks as the consultant was on holiday but are really hoping it will b the consultant at 34 weeks so we can ask final questions. I agree with Blue if you re concerned or unsure phone the consultants secretary x

Blue* you must be so frustrated! I really hope you get the consultant next time. It's so important for us to have confidence in them.

Ducky hope your little one isn't hiding from you too much and is being generous with the kicks!

MissA hope you r ok

Mademoiselle hope Friday went ok, I've been thinking about you. Every time we did something difficult when we lost 'H' we would say "this is for 'H'" , from registering her stillbirth to getting out the car at the funeral. We found it gave us courage. As the proverb goes "being loved by someone gives you strength, loving someone else gives you courage" I don't think I realised how much that was true before x

Waves to all x