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Angels and Rainbows-remembering our angels and hoping for rainbows

998 replies

Star0909 · 29/10/2013 09:27

New thread ladies. Come in here for support.

OP posts:
Rubyshoe · 31/07/2014 15:47

Same as Blue just posting to say you are in my thoughts today MissA. Hope all goes well x

kayleighferrie1985 · 31/07/2014 16:50

Thinking of you MissA, hope all goes well x

CritterPants · 31/07/2014 17:04

Good luck missalex - thinking of you and your little one.

EarthWindAnd9 · 31/07/2014 18:44

Just checking in to see how it went MissA, thinking of you x

missalexandra · 31/07/2014 21:52

Just got back from the clinic. Our little boy's heart is ok!! Smile Smile No explanation of what he thought he'd seen 2 weeks ago, just that today he was able to see clearly that everything is where it should be and in working order. To say we are relieved does not even begin to explain how we're feeling right now! Thank you so much lovely ladies for caring, its means such a lot Thanks Thanks xx

CritterPants · 31/07/2014 22:03

Oh thank goodness missalex - what a massive massive relief. So pleased for you, I really hope everything goes smoothly from now on.

EarthWindAnd9 · 31/07/2014 22:31

Oh that's such a relief MissA. I had my heart in my mouth coming on here to check and I know that is not even a microscopic amount of what you must have been feeling. Hooray for little bean!

kayleighferrie1985 · 31/07/2014 22:39

So so pleased for you MissA, must have been such a relief for you, sending big hugs xx

AllTerrainMammy · 31/07/2014 22:40

Really happy and relieved for you MissA that everything is ok with your little boy. Such a relief for you. Have a relaxing night x

Ducky23 · 01/08/2014 07:59

So happy to hear your news missa Thanks GrinGrinGrin. x

BlueSkyandRain · 01/08/2014 10:01

Great news missalex :) so pleased & relieved on your behalf.

I have another scan today - and have been in for monitoring earlier this week as she had a snooze for 3hours & I was convinced of the worst. Things actually seem fine with her so far, it's just me waiting for it to all go wrong. Feel like I'm so paranoid about movements, and this constant high alert is exhausting. I was having flashbacks last night and couldn't sleep. Does anyone else struggle with that? What happened was just so sudden and horrific, I'm not sure I'll ever properly get my head around the fact that it actually happened. I guess it'll be easier when I'm not also worrying that it might happen again at any moment.

Ducky23 · 01/08/2014 10:20

I'm exactly the same blue Confused and he's only just started moving about! Don't know how I'm going to cope until December Hmm

Ducky23 · 01/08/2014 10:21

And good luck with the scan! They are nerve wracking things!!!

I have my 20 week scan on tues Confused

kayleighferrie1985 · 01/08/2014 11:30

Good luck with your scans Blue and Ducky.

Feeling very out of sorts recently, finding that even though i'm getting the odd lie-in due to not having to do the school run i'm suddenly tired in the afternoons, which is unlike me :(

Waves to all xx

missalexandra · 01/08/2014 12:40

Thanks for all your good wishes, the support on here is so different to RL, I had told a few people about the fears over having to re-scan and just know they all thought I was obsessing for nothing whereas I know you ladies know just how we felt x

Blue Hope all goes perfctly with the scan today. From what you say you got jittery when she didnt move for 3 hours - does that mean that 3 hours never ususally go by without you feeling her? Gosh I can sometimes go for more than that without feeling anything at all, now I'm thinking maybe I should be feelng much more movement than I am! I know you are some weeks further on that I am though, maybe thats it? Gosh we just lurch from one worry to another dont we Confused

Ducky best of luck for Tuesday! How often do your feel your LO moving? Is there a pattern yet?

Kayleigh feeling tired in the afternoon...have you worked your dates out? You had stomach pains and backache a few days ago too...sometimes a sign of implantation. Would be thrilled for you if that were the case, if not then I hope you feel better soon

kayleighferrie1985 · 01/08/2014 14:14

Still unsure of dates as of yet MissA but there's been a fair bit of DTDing (haha) recently so will just have to see if AF appears in next 2-3 weeks.
I know what you mean also about other people not understanding your fears- when we found out Ben was a boy we had a little wobble due to our older son Brian having additional needs (our DD is developmentally "normal") and people told us not to get ahead of ourselves xx

MademoiselleG · 01/08/2014 15:35

Oh MissA I am shedding tears of relief at your food news, I've finally found a working wifi connection to check on you and I'm so, so, so happy all is well!!!!! You must be feeling ecstatic - when not querying about movement Wink - and I hope the feeling lasts!

Kayleigh I thought exactly the same as MissA when you mentioned tiredness... Tehee! Again though, if it's not a positive test, I do hope it goes quickly.

Good luck with everyone scanning - we will just never ever be able to blissfully enjoy these times like we used to, will we?...

AFM - finally getting negative pregnancy tests (who thought I'd say this one day???) and now it's all out for a massive ttc journey again! Dh is happy - he was persona non grata for the whole of this last pregnancy as I couldn't face dtd. Weird how different ppl react to hormones, some of my friends declare having had the best sex ever when pg were as I just felt so gross and fat that I couldn't face him coming anywhere near me!

Holiday is coming to an end, I don't know what I'll be like back home. Here has been a perfect escape, with absolutely nothing (except a plethora of pg women taking cheesy pics of their bumps) to remind us of baby G but home will be different. We will have to go and pick up the ashes too and decide where to scatter or bury them. What a joyful thing to plan.

I hope everyone is doing as well as could be and sending you lots of sunshine from here x

Ducky23 · 01/08/2014 16:23

Missa I don't have a pattern, but feel him most days, have alreay had the midwife out twice after not feeling him for the whole day Confused they told me it's completely normal at this stage but they came out for reassurance.

I don't know if I mentioned but we found out were having a boySmile I had very mixed emotions to start with but am doing good now. Can't get rid of dd's stuff though Sad people keep telling me too. I hae put it in the cupboards for now.

M, glad you had a nice time on your getaway, hope it wasn't too difficult seeing the pregnant women about

Hope everyone is doing ok x

kayleighferrie1985 · 01/08/2014 16:56

Well, Mademoiselle me and a friend have just attempted to work my dates out, going off when i had AF 3 weeks ago, so if AF hasn't landed by next Friday it might be an idea to test :/
Pleased that you and DH can TTC again now, and hoping your return home isn't too stressful for you both.

ducky personally i think you should only part with DD's things when YOU feel ready to. I've still got the gifts from Ben's baby shower in the cupboard (apart from the blanket and teddy which were buried with him). If someone told me to get rid of Ben's things i'd have probably told them to go shove their head up their bottom.

Waves to all xx

MademoiselleG · 02/08/2014 21:13

(Laughing at my own typoes - GOOD news MissA, Good news! Although I have been known to cry about food too!)
Can't imagine I'd want to get rid of anything at all ever to be honest. Gosh. I just realised the sheer horror of what you've gone through all over again. To think that you had a baby shower and all the gifts for your new baby but that baby never came home. It just made my stomach twist inside. It's so wrong. I'm sending hugs.Thanks

Night night to all x

Ducky23 · 02/08/2014 21:27

Haha I read typo so didn't even notice it said food!! GrinGrinGrin

I don't think I will get rid of it ever. I even have the balloon in the cupboard they got me at work (it's deflated itself now)

We have re done the nursery now, I wasn't able To go in the room at all as it was all decorated for dd Sad

Am having major anxiety over movements ATM, he's still very small so movements are a bit all over the place but I get myself so worked up about it Confused

Rubyshoe · 02/08/2014 22:04

Thrilled with your news MissA! Hope the scan news gives you a little comfort and some peace of mind. What do we think the average is on this thread for being given "peace of mind"? 24 hours if we're lucky before the worry starts again?Smile

Ducky well done on re-doing the nursery. After we lost H I made a deal with myself that I would put something away every month, clothes, changing table, cot etc. never put anything away in the end. Even the nappies I had taken out of the bag and put in a basket a couple of days before my due date are still where they were. If bear turns out to be a boy he'll have a lot of pink to wear!

Mademoiselle seems wrong to congratulate you on a negative pregnancy test after everything you have been through but hope you feel positive about being back on the TTC roller coaster.

Blue how's it going? How many weeks are you now? Sometimes I am finding the best way is to keep my head down and just keep going.

AFM all seems ok, date for induction is Sep 13th, so hoping for cuddles 5 weeks today, seems so close but still miles away if that makes sense. Never heard from my parents this week, guess they are waiting for the dust to settle and if they give it long enough we don't need to mention H's Birthday at all. To be honest I think they are just freaks but what can you do? What mother just ignores her daughter on the first anniversary of the death of their child? It's mind blowing to me but there we are.

Sunday turned out to be quite peaceful, we took our dog for a walk /waddle in a wood where my brother and his wife have kindly dedicated a tree in Hs memory, then in the evening we let a Chinese lantern go. I told my 8 year old niece it was so H could see the light from Heaven and knew we were sending our love. My niece looked a bit sceptical about whether this would work but bless her, decided not to disagree with me!

Waves to all, old and new x

EarthWindAnd9 · 02/08/2014 23:45

Hi Ruby, H's birthday sounds lovely, a really special way to remember her.

My husbands mum didn't get in touch on F's birthday last year and we were both so hurt. My husband always avoids confrontation but that time he did have to say something to her. She said she had been thinking of us and F all day but didn't want to intrude. I'm not convinced by this excuse, but my husband seems to be so I've had to let it go. We did however say to her "how on earth are we supposed to know you are remembering him if you don't tell us"? People are odd. I think it's terrible that your parents haven't been in touch, but perhaps they have a similar reason? I do think you should tell them how they have made you feel if you are able to. It won't take away the hurt but it may stop it from happening again?
5 weeks today....not long at all (although I know it will feel like forever).

Ducky, I'm so sorry you are tying yourself in knots. How many weeks are you now? Do you think there is anything you can do to manage your movement anxiety?

MissA, don't forget movement patterns are individual to baby, don't compare to others, that way doth madness lie!

Mademoiselle, I'm "glad" the tests are negative now (iykwim) and I hope the return home and to normality isn't too tough.

Hi to everyone else x

EarthWindAnd9 · 02/08/2014 23:47

Ducky, the deflated balloon is such a strong image, totally heartbreaking x

EarthWindAnd9 · 02/08/2014 23:50

Argh, knew id forget someone (or two).

Kayleigh-fingers crossed for next week Wink

Blue-how did the scan go? I know what you mean about how things all suddenly went wrong with no warning, I found that very hard to deal with too because all I could give myself was "well things are fine right this very second". No advice really, just (((hugs))), it's hard x