Angels and Rainbows-remembering our angels and hoping for rainbows

[Star0909]

New thread ladies. Come in here for support.

Mademoiselle hope the mastitis eases off soon for you. Good to hear you and DH are always there for each other, it's great that you can rely on him.

Waves to all xx

M, really hope you feel better soon. Xx

Found out we are expecting a boy. Have managed to put away some of dd's stuff but have found it a bit difficult re decorating will be the hardest I think.

How is everyone x

missalex I am so sorry that you have this extra worry. I will be wishing away the next ten days for you. Fingers crossed that it turns out to be nothing, I'll be sending your little guy positive wishes.

mademoiselle so sorry about the pain, physical and mental. When my milk came in after J it was the worst. I found ice packs, cold cabbage leaves and sage tea helped dry it up and reduce the swelling.

ducky a boy! How lovely. Dinosaurs and fire engines. I think the hardest thing is just knowing that this is another baby, when of course you wish your little girl was with you - as she ought to be. Sending love.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Thank you critter

M, could they not give you the tablet for that? Or was it offered and you didnt want it. when I had dd they gave me a tablet to stop that happening

Mademoiselle Such a massive contrast for you to be living, seeing life going on happily for everyone else while yours has stopped for the time being. The boobs thing is such a reminder too isnt it, I remember hating feeling mine get hard and leaking. Like Ducky said, they gave me something for it and it was gone in a couple of days. Great that you and DH are supporting each other, even if you each have meltdowns at seperate times. Right now only the two of you know how you are feeling. But whatever you do dont doubt the option you chose - you did the absolute best you could for your baby.

Ducky we too found it complicated to think about having a little boy after (for some strange reason) expecting we would have another girl. But as time has passed we have come to love the idea of a boy too. A's nursery is a lovely shade of lilac so we will have to redecorate, but we have decided we wont do it until after the baby has arrived. Right now we cant bring ourselves to do it, apart from the fact that (if all goes well) he will be sleeping in our rooom for a few months anyway so we'll have time to do it after the birth.

Critter thanks for the finger-crossing. Hope your doing ok?

Earth hows the holiday going? Please un-pretzel yourself although I do appprecaiate it!

AFM had 24 hours of the most horrible lowdown backache, just came on out of the blue and was so bad I could hardly move about . I also sort of felt like my bump was really hard so immediately thought I might be in pre-labour or something. Been taking paracetomol and its a quite lot better now, anyone had the same?

Waves to all x

MissA i had similar lower backache with my older son Brian. Like yours it came on randomly and i had to go and lie down for a good few hours- it actually reduced me to tears at one point. I was already taking co-codamol for my migraines, but they did help with the backache. It only lasted until the following day though.

Waves to all xx

How's the back ache now missa? Hope it has eased off a little. Could it have been braxton hicks? I don't know what they are like, I don't think I had them with dd. hope your feeling better now x

Kayleigh how many weeks were you when you had the backache with Brian? I'm 21 weeks now

Ducky Im a bit better thanks, but its still there. Now I cant bend over properly or get dressed easily. Not sure if it could be Braxton Hicks or not, dont know what they feel like. But there is definitely no "contraction" feeling its just like really bad period backache and nasty sharp pains if I bend in a certain way Probably just things stretching/pressing?

I'm not sure exactly how many weeks i was, but i think i was about 26 weeks (Brian was due in the September and the backache was in the July). Brian was engaged quite early and the midwives didn't think i'd make it to 40 weeks but Bri was 5 days late in the end. It could be that baby's moved position, or as you say everything stretching xx

Thanks Kayleigh feeling a bit better today but will mention it to the obstet on Monday x

Glad you're feeling a bit betterMissA x

AFM had very painful back/stomach ache earlier, very unpleasant :(

Waves to all xx

Kayleigh do you think its got to do with your unsettled cycle? Did the bleeding stop completely? How are you managing on the smoking front?

Had no bleeding at all for a week now, and the pain i had earlier lasted about 30 mins, so not sure what that was all about. I've managed to keep cutting down on the cigarettes so far, and now it's the school holidays it'll probably help as it breaks my routine a bit, so fingers crossed i'll be smoke free very soon x

Morning all, just posting to mark the spot for a new mum called wegotsoclose who has tagged onto an old thread. I'm sure there are ways to put links in but I'm rubbish so figure if I post it will push this one to the top and she will be able to see it! (I've never claimed to be technical ladies!). Just off to message her back in a minute! Ruby x

Hello all

Reading wegotsoclose post on the old thread has encouraged me to 'de-lurk' hope you are all doing ok? I have been lurking and reading so I think I'm up to date! Its a busy thread at the moment!

Betty glad you have the green light to TTC in August and hope you are feeling OK about that.

MissA gosh what an awful time for you with the scan fiasco! Is your repeat anomaly scan a week today? Will be keeping everything crossed for you. When your rainbow arrives you'll have to give his bottom a gentle tap for all the anxiety he's caused you!

Kayleigh my periods after H came back after 5 weeks, the lochia stopped and I did start bleeding again after 3 and a half weeks and thought that was my period. But then that stopped and it re-started again as if I had severed an artery and I though "oh right thats my period then!" I think it takes while for everything to re-set. Everyone is different but the CBFM saved my life as I was a bit obsessive and needed re-assurance!

Mademoiselle welcome to the thread and I am sorry I have not been around to support you. I have been reading your posts and your courage has taken my breath away. Your DCs are incredibly lucky to have such a brave mum!

Ducky False start! what the do they think this is, an egg and spoon race! If it would be useful I am sure I have the draft of the letter if offered to MissA for her SIL on my computer, I could adapt it for your DHs hob nob of a relative if you'd like . Know where you are coming from with the movements, I think it took till about 4 weeks for this little bear to establish any kind of discernible pattern.

AFM its been a shit week quite frankly.... it was the first anniversary of Hs death on Wednesday. Accompanied as it will be every year by a fanfare of full colour pullouts on Prince Georges birthday. The anniversary of her stillbirth is on Sunday as her induction took so long and that's the day we are really going to mark. So far the list of people in our lives who have remembered numbers 3, my best friend, the lady across the road and the bloke my DH works with, oh, and to be fair DHs family, who are fab and remember everything! I have spoken to my Mum 3 times this week and she has failed to mention it, so clearly her second grand-daughter meant loads to her! She is however very concerned as they are going on holiday around the EDD for our rainbow and is concerned they won't be contactable incase we 'need them'. Felt like saying, we 'needed you last year' and you said you couldn't support us and we 'need' you this week to remember your grand-daughter with us but there you go....ggrrrrr.

Sorry not to name check everyone, waves Blue, Earth, Owl, Critter and ATM and anyone else lurking x

Golly that was a pissed off post! Sorry everybody! x

Thanks Ruby not thought about using OPK's or anything like that as yet- worried it'll stress me out more than anything else. I'll be thinking of you and your DH on Sunday xx

Hi Ruby, what a horrible week for you, it must make it so much harder with all the Prince George stuff and it is so sad when family can't support you in the way you need. I've come to realise that I have higher expectations of family than of anyone else, unfair as that may be. I will be thinking of you and H for the rest of this week and particularly on Sunday.

I had a little wobble on Wednesday, a friend of mine had a baby boy and I am so pleased for her that he arrived safely, but it was also the day I had an email to say that F's stone is ready. I cried because it was just such a stark contrast, my friend was cuddling her first born and I am organising a gravestone for mine. I miss him x

MissA-how are you doing with the waiting game?

Kayleigh-it's frustrating when you don't know what's going on with your body and you have no control, I hope it sorts itself out soon. Sounds like you are doing well with giving up smoking-keep going.

Hi to Ducky, Blue, Betty, ATM, Critter, mademoiselle and anyone else I've inadvertently forgotten.

Thanks Earth i'm persevering with the stopping smoking, and hopefully my body will settle down soon. I've got plenty to keep me bust in the meantime though :)

I can understand your wobble, as you said, it's a stark contrast.

Oh earth I can understand it's very unfair isn't it. I hae left work because I'm in a massive panic I haven't felt baby move at all today on my way to midwife. Fingers crossed.

Hope everyone is doing ok x

Hi everyone

missalex how is the backache? I hope you're doing ok. When is your next scan? You must be so worried. I just think that pregnancy after loss sucks. The fear, the lack of innocence, the constant worry. It's not how it ought to be, and I really hope you get some reassurance soon.

ruby I am sorry that people have forgotten your little girl's birthday. I mean, your daughter should be here, smashing up a vanilla cupcake and looking adorably chubby. You have been robbed of that, and it's just BS, the whole thing. I'm just sorry honey, this is so unfair.

kayleigh hope you're doing ok. I also really hope you have some support at home. I could so identify with what you said upthread about not losing it unless you're behind closed doors. I only have my full-on wails when I'm on my own. It's hard to put the true darkness of what we're going through on our loved ones. You are doing brilliantly to be getting through each day.

betty I think of you lots and really hope you're ok.

earth That is a stark and unfair contrast. I also feel a twinge when I hear about other babies arriving. It's not that I want other people to go through this, not at all. I'm happy for them, I'm just sad that it wasn't like that for me. It underlines how wrong all this is - that it's normal to send out the lovely pic of exhausted but blissed out mum, with proud dad, baby's weight, maybe something about how it was a tough birth but everyone's doing well, jokes about not sleeping etc. Our announcements weren't like that. And it just serves to underline how awful it all is, and how we were cheated of the happiness we ought to have had.

mademoiselle thinking of you.

I'm doing ok - it's been a rough few weeks. My HCG was down to 12.5 on Wednesday, and I have to go back on Thursday next week, by which time it should be at zero I hope. We might do another transfer in August, although I am flying to the UK for the last week of the month, so it'd be cutting things fine and I would be travelling for the 2ww. Will just go with whatever the doctor recommends, I don't want the responsibility of making the decision. If not, it'll be September I guess.

ducky xpost. I hope you get some reassurance at the midwife. Will be sending you and bean positive thoughts and love.

Ducky, really hope all is ok. Thinking of you x

Critter, you hit the nail on the head there, I wouldn't wish what we've been through on my worst enemy, I just desperately wish we all had that happy ending to pregnancy.
I can understand why you want the doctors to decide, it's just too big a responsibility sometimes isn't it? I hope you are comfortable with whatever timescales you are given. I've been thinking of you lots. How are you doing emotionally?
x

Ruby so sorry, I didn't see your post, am on the app and it gets confusing! Is it this Sunday for her induction date anniversary? Will be thinking of you, it is heartbreaking when people forget these important dates x

Critter, really hope it all goes well when you decide to do the next transfer, sorry if that sounds stupid but I am a bit clueless on things like that

Well I got myself into a right panic, then mw was running late... Then as soon as I lay down for the HB check he started moving she found HB quickly but as usual as soon as she heard it he ran away again!!! He's naughty already!