Donor IUI?

[MinnieMooMoo]

Hello! Just looking for a group/quiche to join but not really sure where I fit it.

I'm intending to go it alone and have Donor Insemination by IUI starting in January providing my investigations all come back clear.

Any one else in the same boat, or has done it alone in the past?

Thanks Pickle! I found LWC to be very straightforward and flexible with appointments (as you'd expect). The whole injecting process was a bit odd (and strangely exciting) but its only for a week or so.

I have to say, being alone and pregnant is quite isolating and I do feel apprehensive about the future at times. I am excited now though. Will you have the AMH checked?

Yeh I know what you mean, I do think should I be doing this intentionally on my own. Things are different now tho, no one needs to know eg playgroups etc how u came to become pregnant unless u choose to disclose, so many single mummy's out there and least we won't have to deal with custody issues/slagging an ex but daddy on Facebook (one of current work colleagues going through that)but will be hard alone. Do your friends know how you got preg?ive told a lot of my friends (that I want involved) and all bar one have been supportive and mostly on board.
I loved the seminar from Lwc but I live in Rochester so bit off a faff to get to London and expensive so think I'm going to go with CARE@tunbridge wells so I can drive there or have a friend drive me and found them really nice over email and telephone.
I thought I prob would have Amh because I wouldn't rule out doing donor egg share ivf as under 35 so might consider that if I had low egg reserves.but would prob do this a little in advance of starting anything. I'm trying hard to save so not as much of a struggle financially if I did get pregnant and so I can do a few rounds consecutively without worrying too much about the cost.
Anyway I'll stop babbling...there a few of us in same situation so don't feel alone, we r here if you need a chat :)

Hello getyourselfchecked - welcome and OMG you are so lucky!!! Well done you!

Please can you give more details about medication - what and when? I have been administering Ovitrelle but I do not think that is what you mean? I am going to see my consultant on Monday and see what she suggests. Apparently this appointment is free due to failed IUI!

Do you mind me asking if you had had the lh surge before the IUI and if so how long before? I am really still not clear on what is optimal and it is confusing as we are all different.

Btw I think it is completely normal to be shocked... But just think of the loveliness awaiting you in 3 months!

Roonerspism very interesting what you said about CMV... Maybe I should discuss this too with consultant as it would open up donor possibilities a bit.... Although I think my choice of eye and hair colour maybe what is bringing the numbers down.

Hi Kwik, sorry for the delay, i have been away from the internet for a few days. So, i used the injectable drugs to develop the follicles but stop ovulation. They scanned my ovaries after a week or so. The follies were developed so I did the ovitrelle jab then 36 hours of so later they did the insemination. I didn't check for.LH surge. I just trusted them tbh as this cycle was meant to be a try-out really. I had a few problems before that, i don't want to sound smug as if it was all plain-sailing. I hope i don't sound like that. I'm just putting the details here as I know what it's like to wonder how others do it!
Sorry qbout typos-on phone

Pickle, my friends do know how it happened as do my family. Acquaintances - i just say i'm single (if they ask) and that tends to keep them quiet. I don't think i'm the best at batting off questions but i'm getting used to it!

Congratulations getyourselfchecked It's wonderful to hear a positive story.

One thing I'm not sure how I will handle is who I will tell about what during the process.

I have now talked about my plans with all of my family, good friends and my neighbour. All, aside from my best friend, are 100% supportive about my plans; in fact I've been really touched by how positive they have been about it.

For the moment I don't feel the need to talk here about the issue with my best friend (I need to make the time and space to have a proper discussion with her about it and haven't managed this yet. I think I know why she has reservations but I need to not make assumptions before I've spoken to her properly.)

I am going to my chosen clinic for the initial consultation in a fortnight's time and then I hope to have my first IUI attempt early next year. I am really excited about this!

I am someone who is usually totally frank with everyone about what I'm up to. I've realised though that if I keep everyone in the loop with the process that I will be adding a lot of unneeded pressure with every attempt - I don't want to have thirty people all asking how its going!

So how do I make the transition from having been talking about this a lot (which I've done so that I could talk through things, gauge whether I generally have a good support network, and to prepare people for my plans) to now actually needing to get on with it quietly without people knowing that I'm going off to the clinic, doing the two-week-wait etc.

Obviously I want to keep a couple of people in the loop so that I have support through the difficult process and a shoulder to cry on when I get a negative pregnancy test etc. I would like to be able to keep my parents in the loop for this reason but is that actually unfair on them? Too cruel to take them through the stress of this with me?

Sorry, I realise this post has got quite long. How have other single mums-to-be handled this side of things?

Hi Ineednewshoes, I felt the same re. who to tell during the process as I realised the same thing - I didn't want to keep talking about the details esp if there were negative pregnancy tests. However, I did tell my family and a couple of close friends when I was going through it because it is such a strange situation (all the tests etc) that I just wanted to chat about it sometimes. You could just let it go quiet i.e. stop talking about it for a bit and be vague when people ask about it. That's what I did. Sorry, not really a concrete solution! I told my parents when it came to insemination time as I needed a lift to the hospital! But, yeah, they could have been a bit overbearing if the process had gone on for a while.

Thanks for the congratulations, too! Funny thing is, I haven't had loads of congratulations. Some, yes, but I reckon if I were doing the standard meat-n-two-veg-married-with-kids-thing the response would have been more enthusiastic!

I am so happy that this thread is the opposite of zombie like! Thank you to all the past and new threaders!

I told LOADS of people... I am a very open person and I wanted to share but also as the first few were so happy for me I got carried away! Funny though very few ask me about it... Many are men so perhaps embarassed... My ex-boss, who I love dearly, asks me meaningfully every time I bump into him "how are you"... It is so funny!

Anyway at the start I wanted to tell everyone but once the treatment started I have adopted the policy of "ask me no questions & I will tell you no lies" (i literally say this to people) and then if further explanation is required I say that as I am over 40 any pregnancy I have would be quite tricky so I am not going to confirm anything until over 3 months.

I have kept my closest friends up to speed but with each failed attempt I am finding it harder to talk about as I am so disappointed.

Ironically my family are the ones that ask the least... My mum has freaked out a little but she is a natural born worrier so this is to be expected. My 10 year old nephew keeps on asking when is it going to happen so he can have a new cousin....

None of this is easy and getting the right balance is hard... But that is why I find this forum so comforting... Other people who are going through the same or similar or have already gone through.... This really has been a lifeline for me :)

Getyourselfchecked - thanks so much for insight into your treatment.

Right I am off to sleep... Had a 4am start to get on the 5.40am Eurostar and I am zonked!

What happened to you all? Is there anybody out there?

I'm here, just rubbish at writing messages because I tend to read MN on my phone and then writing out messages on it seems to take an age!

Thanks to everyone who posted their thoughts on my question re who to tell what. I've decided to keep my parents and a couple of close friends in the loop but aside from that just tell people if they ask that I'm planning treatment 'sometime in 2016'.

How are you doing Kwick ? Have you decided what your next step is?

Hey all, still here. I still trying to save up for my treatment :( want to get started. What are you going to try next kwick?same or medicated? You have some little swimmers already brought don't you?x

Pickle Have you considered going abroad for treatment?

If I were going to the LWC I'd be nowhere near affording it, but in Denmark it looks as though it's going to be around £700 per treatment, including donor semen. My flights, plus parking at the airport, for my consultation appointment in a couple of weeks' time are costing a grand total of £50. Based on this I've now got enough money earmarked for two attempts.

My reasons for choosing Denmark do go beyond financial, in that I feel more comfortable going there as a single woman because they have been doing this for single women for decades and they tend to try to do everything as naturally as possible which is what I'm after for my first couple of attempts (unlike Spain where, I believe, they tend to only treat with medicated IUI).

Hey,
No I have read that other people had gone abroad. I'm just not sure it's for me, I feel happy with the clinic I've chosen in tunbridge and although will take longer i have to feel comfortable with my decision and i think being that far away from home would be weird for me having treatment.also wouldn't be easier with the job I do but will have a bit more of a look into it. Thanks x

Good evening all! So glad you are back!
I am seeing my consultant tomorrow so will discuss options then.... Really no nearer in my mind to making a decision... Do iui again, try medicated, try natural ivf or try medicated ivf.... I just hope I can do another treatment this cycle... I am on day 8 and I have not done a baseline scan but i think they will still let me do another iui...
I have not really thought about going abroad... Just thought it would complicate things even more. Would love to hear how it works - how long do you go over for?
I do indeed have 2 more vials of magic potion left :)
I made a fertility boosting soup today (seeing as it is soup sunday) - sweet potato, carrot and lentil... Will have for lunch tomorrow but then I am off on travels again with work... Thank God it is nearly Christmas!
Pickle we are thinking of visiting the Christmas market in Rochester - is it worth a visit?
Have a great week everyone!

Let us know how you get on tomorrow. I know,I've got 14.5 days left of work until go back in January,not quite sure if I can survive or not but hey ho.
Yeh it's nice,it's the Dickensian one next weekend where they have parades,&people dress up (the people doing the parade rather than those visiting).castle grounds look gorgeous all lit up. There are some really nice stalls and others that are a bit naff. Wouldn't say it's the best Xmas market but it's nice...normal yummy things like fudge/candy floss/hog roast/mulled cider etc.things along the high street too,but they tend to be more foodie.
Good luck tomorrow x

So good evening everyone! Can it only be Monday??? I am exhausted already!
So had chat with consultant today also had a scan:
Have decided to do next cycle as natural iui (will be my 4th), if that does not work I will go straight into medicated iui and then most likely natural ivf. She said that I should do a new ort seeing as 6 months had passed and resere can drop off really quick - she scanned me and now does not need to do ort as she saw quite a few egg sacs and seemed pleased. She did say thought that if I was going to do stimulated anything I should get a wriggle on.... I am very reluctant to do medicated ivf though.
I had a 10mm dominant follicle which is ok for day 9, I have another scan on thursday... I will start to check lh from wed pm as I stupidly did not pack any tests and I am in Amsterdam now. Apparently I had a triple layer lining which is good too. I did bloods as well to check on thyroid, vit d & count - they rang to say all okay :)
Pickle - have you thought about starting to check your lh surges now? With hindsight I would have done this - I think it helps if you really know your cycles. So I would also recommend that you track your cycles - I use a free app.

Sounds like a really informative appt. what's an ort?
I'm on the pill so can't do lh surg yet and don't plan to come off pill until a few months before, the pill I'm on you take 100%of the time and no breaks so wouldn't have a scooby do about my cycles except I usually get sore boobs for a week.
It's a shame I can't meet up with the clinic and have some of the tests done without having to pay so much....altho next year I may decide to do that so I know where I stand-even maybe just an Amh to see what fertility like-I don't know.
I'm in the process of changing my mortgage so should be about £200 better off a month so will help with savings etc but I currently have no savings and want to have some saved for during mat leave if ever lucky to have that.
Everything seems quite positive for you with your results so fingers crossed those little swimmers work a bit harder this cycle. X

Hi pickle! Ort is ovarian reserve test. A scan on days 1-4 of your cycle sees how many egg sacs you have on your ovaries.
I was quite zen like but now I have to travel on monday which could be d-day... So now very stressed...
Watching masterchef to take my mind off things...

Hi everyone - really useful thread. I'm just at the beginning of thinking about attempting to become a mum on my own as I'm 37 with no sign of Mr Right appearing. Does anyone have any useful advice as to where to start as I'm totally confused! TIA

I'm watching masterchef Australia as we speak.try not to worry too much,hopefully they can get u in before you need to fly.
Welcome scarymary78, I googled loads and read all the articles on care fertility and londons women's clinic to get more info. Also I went to London women's clinic open day to a seminar about donor iui which found really helpful. I haven't started the process am just saving.good luck on your journey x

Hello everyone!
Pickle i am also hooked on masterchef australia as well the uk ones!!!
So am feeling very angry with myself just arrived home and was planning to check lh to find what I thought was a very healthy stock of tests to actually just be very few... So now will have to restock with expensive ones rather than less costly and easier to use ones I can get online!!!! Never mind!
I have another scan tomorrow... Lets hope my follicle is way over 18mm and it can be all systems are go again .
Btw finding the phone version of this very handy, especially the emojis

Me too,watch most versions, Canada,New Zealand etc :) uk is least favourite now.
Rubbish about your testing strips but at least you have another scan to check how things are going?
I always check/message on my phone as get an email when a new message is....is there an app version?
Is so nice to chat about this with people that don't give you that look of "really, this isn't a "normal" thing to do" look.
City fertility in London are doing a deal £98 for a fertility mot including scan/Amh and something else can't remember now....but so can see what fertility is like. You have to book an appointment before end of January.think I would like to do it but really scared!!! Kwick or anyone else that has been through this when it talks about scans for fertility and follicles/egg reserve etc are these all normal ultrasound scans or internal TV scans as this is partly something that is making me more scared altho suppose will need to get used to that

Hi Pickle! No app as far as I am aware but I was using ipad and emojis are harder.... Seems like a different version
Mot may be a good idea but just beware that your clinic will most likely not take results from anywhere other than their own.
So scans are pelvic ie a wand/slimline vibrator thing is inserted and that way they can see your uterus and ovaries etc
When having actual procedure they sometimes do a over skin scan (like pregnant ladies have) whilst speculum in place and magic potion being inserted.
Ovarian reserve test performed by pelvic scan.
As I lost an ovary when I was 19 I have had scans nearly every year which I have not liked.... Now I am getting scanned very frequently it is not liking exactly but not so bothered.... They are fast normally (except when scanner not aware of 1 ovary situation and pokes around for missing one!!!!!!). The iui bit is like going for a smear test except magic potion going in instead of sample being taken. I lie there listening to one direction !!!
So no lh surge this am.... Trying to keep stress at bay as think most likely I will be "ripe" on monday just when I need to be in france!!! Anyway I shall report back later on regarding this morning's scan.
Pickle I still love masterchef uk... I have a massive crush on both gregg and marcus wareing (who I have actually met - I was completely starstruck!!!) but the australian one is pure indulgence as there are so many episodes

So I had day 12 scan and have dominant follicle which is 14mm - hopefully it will get a growth spurt on so that on saturday it is 18mm and I can have iui on sunday as there is no way I can have on monday b4 I fly to nice!!!!
Guess what??? Boots now sell both strip ovulation tests as well as pregnancy ones! They are much cheaper than plastic ones.
I am on my way to osteopath so she can create best body to receive magic potion