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Original poster

Donor IUI?

999 replies

MinnieMooMoo · 09/10/2013 15:12

Hello! Just looking for a group/quiche to join but not really sure where I fit it.

I'm intending to go it alone and have Donor Insemination by IUI starting in January providing my investigations all come back clear.

Any one else in the same boat, or has done it alone in the past?

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Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 19/10/2013 18:02

I'm very glad it's taken off too... admittedly another reason I name-changed is that I thought I'd get flamed as one of my very first posts 5 years ago was along the same vein and I got completely flamed!

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CynthiaRose · 19/10/2013 19:18

Why on earth did you get flamed?

Hope this doesn't sound judgmental or patronising, but do think really hard about the type of donor. I don't know what the deal is with donors from the US or EU. Now that my babies are here and I look at their little faces I do feel quite guilty about the fact they're going to one day wonder why they haven't got a dad. I am glad that I am at least able to give them some info about him and tell them they can find him when they're older if they wish. I've got some stuff he's written about being happy to meet them and following their dreams etc and I think it might be quite important to them.

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 19/10/2013 20:17

Well 5 years ago I was only 22/23 so I think they thought I was too young and just wanted to play dollies Hmm funny how I still haven't met any one and still want a child.

I do feel guilty about not having a dad there definitely, but I suppose I see a lot of feckless dads about too and think well least I'm saving my child from that.

But Xytex do offer a good profile alongwith access to contact information when the child is 18 years old and I think I can pay extra to get a more enhanced profile.

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CynthiaRose · 19/10/2013 21:37

Ah, I see. Did the response put you off doing it for a while?

mrswishywashy · 19/10/2013 21:44

Is it alright if I'm here even though I have a partner we are same sex so definitely need IUI. I'm also on fertility friends but its so hard to keep up with it.

For LWC we paid £145 for initial consult, half price as I signed for it at alternative parents show. Unmediated IUI is going to cost £750 plus sperm of £850 from the London sperm bank. We have looked at choosing from overseas but it will work out the same cost as LWC charge for admin and storage.

We have started looking for sperm and are concentrating on similar looks with my partner and secondly similar looks of me. We then look at their education and will choose as high as possible. Then height is probably last. We really need to get on and book but it so hard.

We also will always make aware to our child that they are from a sperm donor and I will make a story book relating this. I do hope in future years the child can get more info about the donor. And we will make sure that there are plenty of positive male role models in their life.

In regards to sperm donors imported from overseas they all need to be identifiable which the clinics should advise on.

Roll on 2014 and hope we are all blessed with babies.

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 19/10/2013 21:55

I don't think it put me off, I just was in the middle of changing careers so thought I better put it off a while any way and then other things happened and it's only now I've got back into a serious frame of mind. However I don't think I'll ever be 100% ready, I just have to go ahead and do it I think.

Of course you're welcome mrswishywashy :) I am on fertility friends but I prefer the atmoshphere on MN if that makes sense (too many tickers and signatures on FF!)

It's scary and exciting at the same time though!

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CynthiaRose · 19/10/2013 21:56

Yeah, FF was all a bit much for me too.

CynthiaRose · 19/10/2013 21:57

Mrswishwashy - if you don't mind me asking, how did you decide which of you would have the treatment?

mrswishywashy · 19/10/2013 22:11

I have always wanted a baby and I worn with new borns in my job. My partner says that she loves children and will love our children as her own even though she won't be blood related. I don't remember ever discussing it and making a choice it's just our personalities mean I will be carrier. I have made it clear that if she ever wants to try then she can. She is also slightly older than me at 39, I'm 35.

We've been together 2.5 years and were married in August in New Zealand, our home country.

libertyflip · 20/10/2013 09:01

Hi,

Can I join?

I've just completed second (failed) cycle of natural IUI at London Women's Clinic. I haven't told anybody in RL so would be great to be part of an anonymous quiche.

I wasn't too worried when the first cycle didn't work, but found it really difficult this time. LWC recommended 3 cycles of natural but said I could try stimulated cycle earlier if I wanted which I think i will do.

Good luck to all of you, wishing us all healthy happy 2014 babies!

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 20/10/2013 09:24

Welcome liberty sorry it hasn't worked so far, fingers crossed for the next one!

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CynthiaRose · 20/10/2013 09:43

That's interesting Mrswishywashy, thanks for sharing! Hope it works for you.

Hi Liberty. Sounds similar to my situation, I gave up natural after 2 goes and have medicated, first one was a chemical pregnancy (I think), which made me feel better that it might be possible, then the next one was a success (so 4 goes in all). Think if I could go back I'd go with medicated straight away, but hindsight's a wonderful thing and all that..

TheMoonInJune · 20/10/2013 10:59

I didn't have IUI but I am also using donated sperm and am 6 weeks pregnant with my first. :)

CynthiaRose · 20/10/2013 11:15

Ooo fabulous, congrats! Are you single?

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 20/10/2013 12:52

Congratulations TheMoon !!

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sleepingdragon · 20/10/2013 13:06

congratulations themoon- its great to hear from people who have been successful using donor sperm.

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 20/10/2013 13:12

My period was a date late this month, I hope it doesn't start messing about! I'm hoping it's because I was poorly earlier this week.

Three or four more periods and it might be my turn!

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TheMoonInJune · 20/10/2013 14:28

Cynthia - I am, yes. Will be 34 when I have DC1.

businessadmin · 20/10/2013 17:01

Hi ive just ad a 2nd failed unsucessful attempt ov IUI unmedicated at the LWC Darlington using donor sperm. I dnt know wat to do next, i dnt know if i can afford to do anva round ov IUI. I was gna do IVF by egg sharing, wen i first went to LWC but i was scared ov the ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, but then again i myt of been pregnant by now x

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 20/10/2013 17:04

Oh no businessadmin :( sorry to hear that. As you're near Teesside, have you tried looking at Cleveland Fertility? I think they are cheap compared to LWC and work in conjunction with James Cook.

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Camsie30 · 20/10/2013 20:59

@MinnieMooMoo I'm in London, decided against LWC as have friends with bad experiences there. I found a specialist who has clinics near my home and on Harley St which is near my office. My best friend suggested that I write a journal of this experience which I loved, so have started one this weekend. Trying hard to be sensible but can't help thinking of names!! I know what you mean about British donor, but I think that the level of information from abroad makes it far more appealing...
And yes, here is to 2014 blessings for us all!

january29 · 20/10/2013 21:35

Hi, mind if I join, I am also 28, single and looking into becoming a single mum. I have also been researching the LWC and also some other clinics. Biggest thing for me so far is managing financially if I were to become a single mum I am just not sure how about that but guess you just manage. How are you planning on managing that? (being nosey!) It is all so exciting though! Anyone know if you have to wait a long time to get an appointment at LWC?

CynthiaRose · 20/10/2013 22:11

I wanted a Saturday appointment and had to wait a little while, but think you can get a week day one fairly quickly. I went to one of their seminars first to find out about it.

Original poster
MinnieMooMoo · 20/10/2013 22:55

Ahh I had thought about writing a journal also! Definitely seem to spend a lot of time picking names for my non-existent children... Confused

Hello january29, definitely welcome! I'm not sure how I'm planning to manage financially, I'm very good with money as a single person, I work with children as a career so hoping to take the child with me to work (probably outed myself!) so that'll save on childcare and will claim any benefits I'm entitled to...! I also have savings to fall back on although that's not feasible long term (they'll only last so long right?)

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CynthiaRose · 20/10/2013 23:00

I bought a book to write a journal, but I couldn't bring myself to do it when I was trying as I felt like I would jinx myself, then when I was pregnant I felt so dreadful I couldn't do it, then they were born and you have no time....finally doing it now and have written loads. I'm doing it so they can read it when they are old enough and understand why I made the decisions I did.