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Conception

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TTC 10 months + Part 17.

999 replies

MuddyWellyNelly · 25/09/2013 16:49

For all the lovely 10+ers, and anyone else lurking, who has been trying for long enough to start worrying. This is a great place to rest until the elusive BFP shows up.

OP posts:
lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 05/10/2013 07:41

So sorry about the BFN, joy! A chemical is just extra shit :(

How are things, cos? I am thinking if you!

Welcome, essie! It's a good place to wait the time away between appointmenrs etc! Really hope it'll be short for you!

Handholds for the tent dwellers! No news here, which is nice!

sarlat · 05/10/2013 09:57

Joy - I am sorry. Sending ultra big hugs. Xxxx

ThatWayMadnessLies · 05/10/2013 10:02

Welcome essie. Sorry that you find yourself here but they are a good lot. You have joined us on a but of a low but we do have highs and these ladies are a wealth if information and support. I hope your stay is short for all the right reasons.

joy I am so sorry. Take things as they come and know that we are all here for you.

Hang in there lemon. No news is most definitely good news and we could use some more of that just now xx

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 06/10/2013 14:08

Thinking of everyone, esp those having had bad news in the last week or two! Hugs for cos, joy, Nelly, rabbit, pout etc. In my hours awake at night I think of you all! Xxx

eurochick · 06/10/2013 21:04

Just popping on to say that I hope cos and joy are doing ok. Hugs to you both.

seamermaid · 06/10/2013 23:40

Joy, Cos, I hope you are both okay and doing as well as can be expected. Also thinking of Roy and Mr Cos. It must be devastating for them too.
Rabbit, how are you? Any word from the clinic?
Pout, if you are still reading i hope you are okay. I miss your posts.
Euro, how are you feeling about your up coming appointments?
Nelly, how are you doing?
Love to all our diffed 10 plussers.

sweetgrouch · 07/10/2013 01:21

Just a quick one for Joy - I am so sorry the news wasn't happier. My thoughts are with you and Roy.

Ginestas · 07/10/2013 08:32

joy I'm so so sorry about the CP. I hope you and Roy managed to have an ok weekend. I'd want some big answers from the clinic in your position, but you don't need to be thinking about all that yet.

cos I've been thinking of you too over the weekend.

Welcome back euro!

joycep · 07/10/2013 10:35

Cos - i really hope you are baring up. Thinking of you.

And thanks Ladies for your supportive words.. I haven't had too much time to dwell on it but I think because of what happened in March, a bfn just feels so much easier to deal with than that. My period has arrived and it will be good to get the hormone slump out of the way. The nurse was lovely on the phoneon Friday but as Rabbit mentioned up thread it feels like I have fallen off the conveyor belt in a factory. I would love a doctor to take my huge pile of notes and say "uuum what the heck is going on here". Even if they can't work out an answer, feeling that someone was actually thinking about it might help. As it is I know my follow up will be as pointless as last time as everything they said they may do differently next time wasn't done. And of course there won't be a next time there.
Sea - I still believe they are brilliant at what they do and everyone I have met there has had success or gets success so I would always recommend them. I think they'll work wonders for you. But obviously I am in the minority for my age group plus have met many people over 40 who have had success which feels bitterly hard but also i find it infuriating because I have no control over treatment plan which makes me cross! For what it's worth, If we had the money we would continue to go there. Don't let any of my ramblings put you off because you know it's just bitterness and anger speaking!
Anyway, I think I will try and pursue the nhs route even though I don't think there is much point me trying this route.

Mad/lemon - I hope you are ok.

Rabbit lovely - how are you? Are you feeling remotely better?

Nelly - any more thoughts about your friend over the weekend?

Absy · 07/10/2013 12:05

Cos and Joy - so sorry to hear your sad news. I haven't been on the thread long so don't "know" you well, but can imagine that it's devastating.

Welcome Essie! Do you know why your cycles might be weird? Mine are the same (vary between 27 and 37 days, which makes trying to figure out when things are happening very difficult), but have evened out after I followed some advice on here about cutting down on sugar and refined carbs (wheat etc.) and now I'm trying out suggestions in an article that Cosmo posted about eating more in the morning.

Yeah, that IO woman isn't helping anyone. I seem to be permanently surrounded by pregnant women/small babies at the moment. It's hard.

seamermaid · 07/10/2013 12:43

Absy - welcome. I don't think we have said hello before. I found acu to be quite useful in regulating periods. I think good diet can help. Things like stress can also make periods more irregular I think.

Joy - You are so sweet to be concerned about how I might feel about the clinic. I am under no illusions whatsoever. I know their customer service leaves a lot to be desired and just with the immunes stuff I have had so far I have had a glimpse of what life is going to be like with them. I am just so damm sorry it didn't work for you. I know the cost, time and mental energy you invested makes this outcome really galling. I am really upset and angry on your behalf. I so wish it had a different outcome for you. You mentioned you will be looking into NHS, from memory I think we are in the same borough. I had previously been told I would lose my NHS go if I go private but I understand this might have changed. I think you might have been there before anyway but I was at UCLH and the ivf there is actually done at CRGH which is a clinic I also saw privately and would have been the one I went with if it wasn't for the immune issues. It might be worth checking out. I know it's all too soon now to consider what to do next but I really believe ivf is a numbers game and the next one might well be the one. For now I know that doesn't help so I will only leave you with a big handhold and non MN hug.

Cos - Hope you are okay. Thinking of you.

eurochick · 07/10/2013 14:01

Hi all.

I'm just back from my initial consultation at CRGH. I have liked what I have heard so far, but it's early days. Mr euro liked the dr, so I think we will end up switching to there. It's much more hospital like than Create, which will freak me out, but I'm sure I can get through it somehow.

Absy · 07/10/2013 14:23

Hi sea! Thanks for the welcome. What's acu?

rumisyum · 07/10/2013 15:30

Hello ladies.

Euro that's good that you feel positive about the new clinic. I am sure that counts for a lot.

Joy, how rubbish. I know what you mean about wishing someone would at least seem to take the problem seriously & think it through, even if ultimately they don't have an answer. I hope the NHS route brings you a better outcome.

Sea how long do you have to wait to hear about your immune stuff & next steps?

Lemon I hope you're doing well in the countdown to the first scan.

Cos I hope you're holding out OK.

Waves to everyone else. Hope your Mondays are treating you well! I'd quite like mine to be over so I can get home & see my husband properly for the first time in a week. Smile Anyone else watches Downton Abbey & traumatised by last night? I guess the new season shake up has begun. (Not to spoiler it for anyone.)

Anyway, my Brew & Cake break is over, back to work, oh joy!

rumisyum · 07/10/2013 15:31

Absy, acu is acupuncture. Which I really need to arrange more of soon...

mrsden · 07/10/2013 16:00

joy and cos I've been thinking about you both this weekend.

joy I think seeing if the nhs will offer you anything is a good plan. I know your clinic prides itself on its stats but it's not clear to see if their intense programme and all the extras are what works. You might find that a simpler regime suits you better. I know you'll be feeling totally deflated just now, but remember this is a numbers game. I keep reminding myself that and my doctors words that only after 4 attempts will they think it hasn't worked. I would hope that you get some answers at the debrief, with all the tests you have throughout they must have some useful information surely?

euro it's nice to have you back with us. I hope your workload is a little easier this week. That's good that you liked the new clinic, have they offered a different approach?

nelly how amazing that your friend has made that offer. My only thoughts (which may or may not be relevant) would be to make sure that every one is totally signed up and has thought through the long term issues. I personally would find it difficult knowing that my child had siblings that were not related to me or my husband. Would they think of themselves as brothers and sisters? I also think that with a known donor I would always be looking for clues to see if they take after me or my friend and I think this would be a constant reminder that I'd used a donor egg. As buzzy said, using an anonymous donor means that the transaction is over at the point of ec but this wouldn't be the case with a known donor. It's fantastic to have this as an option though. At some point our next step might be donor sperm, but I think for us it would have to be anonymous.

absy and essie hi and welcome!

Did anyone have a scratch before ivf? I saw some mention of it increasing success, I think the results of a trial have or are about to be published.

eurochick · 07/10/2013 16:52

Thanks. mrsd they haven't really offered a hugely different approach. We had pretty much decided to go for a stimulated cycle next wherever we end up.

They have suggested a bunch of tests that we can have done before the next round (DNA frag, karotyping, hysteroscopy + endometrial scratch) that might throw up something. So it'll cost quite a bit but I think we probably will go for most of the stuff they suggest because clearly something isn't working as it is.

We have our follow up consultation at Create later this week, but I think Mr euro has pretty much decided he wants to change. I've made almost all of the choices so far and they haven't brought us success, so maybe him taking the lead will help (although as most of the treatment is focussed on me, of course I have to be happy with whatever we decide).

joy I can see why you think this outcome was preferable to the hell you went through earlier in the year. It must still be tough though.

cos I hope you are doing ok. x

joycep · 07/10/2013 17:55

Sea - I have made an appt with my GP for later this week. I was signed up to go through UCLH when I decided to go Argy first. At no point was I told I would lose my nhs round. Eeek but perhaps I wasn't listening or missed something on the paperwork. I didn't realise it was done through CRGH so that would be a huge loss if I can't do a round through them as I know they are good. Suddenly my gamble of going Argy first does not look good. !@&* I may burst in to tears if the GP tells me that.

Euro - that's good you liked the new clinic. What are the costs like there? You can chose not to down reg can't you?
That's good that mr euro is getting involved with decisions. Roy's contribution was donor eggs and when I asked about donor sperm, he said no!

Mrsd - I don't think they will have any useful info in our consultation. I sent over a huge list of questions last time which I wanted the big man and the embryologists to think about and they never even looked at the questions. I will send them over again.
I found your perspective on de interesting. I do wonder the clinic flared me too much. Considering they extracted more eggs than my AFC suggests they flared me too much which we know compromises quality. I would prefer to get half the amount of eggs and better quality.

Rum - haven't watched Downton yet but saw sth about it on the daily hell. Don't like the sound of it!

seamermaid · 07/10/2013 18:18

Euro - I am glad you like the look of CRGH. They are a bit block hospital like. Their waiting room can be hectic but the tests I had there were done well (well, timely) and I found them quite responsive (the little dealings I had with them). It's great that MrE is so involved with the decision making. I talk every through with MrS but he always says it's up to me to decide what I want. Perhaps a change in clinic is good. Sometimes a change can give a fresh start/perspective.

Absy - Rum is right - acu is acupuncture. Maybe it's worth giving it a go?

Rum - I have to wait till end of the month for my Cytokine test and then it will take a week to get the results. If all is well I will get to cycle. If not, I am tempted to go for my nhs round which has just come up... Hard to know what to do. Re Downton... I went off the show after the last season after they killed off my fav character. Not sure if I want to watch it again... unless you tell me it's worth it! Grin

MrsD - I have read many good things about the scratch... are you thinking of asking for this next time?

Joy - It was UCLH that told me about losing funding if I go private first but I heard rumours this may have changed last time I did bloods there. I really hope that is the case (for you). UCLH do the meds and EC etc but all the embryologist stuff is done at CRGH. There is a long-ish wait to cycle... This and immunes was what led me to ARGC. Actually I can now do a cycle at UCLH/CRGH as the long wait for TB/immunes has now caught up with the offered cycle. I am tempted to do it if my immunes still hasn't come down and the Argy won't let me cycle. It's so hard to know what is the right decision. Good luck with the GP appt. I am appalled Argy was so bad with your follow up the last time. I really hope they give you some useful answers this time round.

Cosmos1 · 07/10/2013 18:36

Joy I've been thinking of you lots this weekend. And you know, the ARGC don't have the monopoly on either embryo quality or successful outcomes. Looking at their stats they seem to see a lot more people who are older than you, and who knows maybe you're just a bit young for their approach and need something a bit softer or less hardcore? I'm sure the added stress of cycling there won't have helped. Definitely explore the nhs options (do you need to be honest about having done privately first? It would be good to have a discussion about what was done previously but would it jeopardise funding, I'm not sure, it's not something I've heard of). And you know you can do some immune stuff alongside if you wanted. This cycle for me was nhs FET and immune stuff including intrallipids privately on the side. You make such a lot of eggs, that's a really good fertile sign. And you know I do believe overall lifestyle and changes (e.g. diet etc etc) that youve been making recently can have a big impact but maybe need a bit more time if you know what I mean. I remember reading a study about women who had high natural killer cells who stopped trying and a year later their nk levels were significantly reduced (think it was in de beer book?). And I know this is of no comfort but you (we? whimper) really have got years left yet to crack this nut.

Nelly, the whole de thing is such a personal decision, and I'm always wary of giving my views on it as I really think each to their own. However I will say, just because its the opposite of mrsden, is that the situation you describe with your friend is probably the closest thing to what I would consider, but I haven't got that right person in my life if that makes sense. I think if it was the right situation with the right people where the two families could end up as almost extended families / cousins / godmothers etc, where everyone knew each other but the boundaries were made clear, would be the most appealing to me, probably because it sounds the most controlled without surprises if that makes any sense and is of any help. There are so many blended families these days, why not have more people involved to love a child? I'm sure there would be some very difficult emotions at times though and sensitivities etc. Only you know what you could cope with and how you'd react.

Euro glad the appt went well. The tests should be interesting to see if these show up anything new. I might look into getting some of those done.

Mrsden I had a scratch the month before this round. It's the only round I've got past implantation.

Rum omg yes to downtown shocker! It's not flipping eastenders! That's not what I want in my period dramas thanks, I was really quite upset by it!

Sea I so hope your result are down this time.

Lemon and Mad hope all is well and you're managing to relax a bit.

Absy glad you found the article interesting.

Waves to Rabbit and Pout and all our lovely diffed cheerleaders.

Afm just still waiting for the grimness to start really. Some signs things are slowly getting started. We've managed to start talking about future possibilities and overall feel surprised we made it as far as we did after 6 yrs of complete nothingness. The thought of doing yet more of this though, is as you'll all know, is just completely like 'how much more can I take'. This experience has done 1 thing for me know though. I don't think I will be envying pregnant women ever again. I felt like utter crap and the worry was awful, and I have to say I can't work out whether I'm more freaked by the current dead embryo inside me (sorry) or the fact that it was actually, although briefly, alive (and out of my control? theres that word again, maybe im far more of a control freak then ive ever admitted to myself!) Morbid thoughts, sorry, it's going to be a tough few days, thankfully I'm not working now till thurs and only then if I feel up to it. Put on not too shabby a show at work today though. I might come on to wail every now again if that's ok.

Buzzybee123 · 07/10/2013 19:01

joy don't mention ARGC just in case, but I don't see how they can deny you an NHS go, but then the NHS does strange things Confused

mrsd I asked about having the scratch and they said they didn't feel it made much difference mainly because they use young donors Confused also I should have had it before I went out, I don't think it will cause any harm and it could just be the difference and if I had been paying attention I would have had it done, I was ready to try anything to make it work. When do you start your cycle??

euro glad things went well at CRGH, It might look hospitally but as long as they are on the ball and do a good job, I would be keen to try a new clinic but its who you feel more confident with, will you cycle before xmas or have the tests and start new year

nelly how are things going

absy and essie welcome, really I should butt out of this thread, but I feel like it is home, I'm a bit like the grown up who hasn't taken the hint to move out of home and get a life :)

poutster lovely lady I am thinking of you, hope big dogs op went well

cos big hugs thinking of you too

doll any day now :)

rabbit my lovely I hope things are getting better for you, hope they pull their finger out and get you the drugs etc

sea fingers crossed you can cycle soon, yo have been more than patient waiting your turn shakes fist at lazy arse fertility gods who must be male

lemon hope the menkulling is going ok

rum have not watched any DA but now I am intrigued by it all :)

Well we have been spring cleaning removing all our crap yes in autumn, much to Kaylas disgust who has been back chatting me about it, she has finally realised which is her room, we only have two Hmm and is back in her favourite sleeping spot :)

waves to anyone I might have missed

DulcetMoans · 07/10/2013 19:42

hi all. I've been a bit quiet on this thread but I have been reading. It's a mixed bag of emotions out there right now. I started writing out replies to you all but it all sounds so false when I type it out. I will catch all by saying I am thinking of you all and wishing happy thoughts through the tough times.

I've just had the blood test results from my doctors visit last month, Oestrogen levels are fine but the progesterone levels were 'mediocre' and 'disappointing'. Doctor is progressing with a referral to the fertility clinic but DH needs to do his SA first. Does this indicate I am not ovulating does anyone know? The Doctor did say she isn't an expert in fertility, which is why we get the referral, so I didn't ask too many questions.

rabbitonthemoon · 07/10/2013 20:13

Evening all. I am emerging from the cellar under the tent to just the tent. Progress?! My protocol arrived today, drugs arrival scheduled and injection training booked. Some questions for you lovely lot;

  1. do I pay for my drugs on an nhs round? No one has mentioned this?
  2. I'm on Menopur and cerotride (sp?) why those, do we ever know why they pick what they do and what are people's experiences of these two drugs? Taking lots of time off work isn't really an option so I'm hoping they won't send me loopy. Or fat. Or spotty. Or sick. Not that I'm overthinking this! 3)how many scans is usual whilst stimming?

Thank you! I'm thinking I should have asked about a scratch (should I be optimistic enough to think of transfer) but it's too late now. I'm hurtling towards it faster than a speeding bullet after two years of waiting. Bizarre feeling. Ugh ugh ugh.

Posting this and coming straight back for proper hellos.

eurochick · 07/10/2013 20:13

What were the progesterone levels and when were they done?

mrsden · 07/10/2013 20:19

Rabbit, I took one dose of cetrotide it is to stop premature ovulation before ec. The dr thinks in my case I reacted too strongly to it and my eggs stopped growing so I won't be having it this time. This is rare though, and it puzzled my dr. It gave me no side effects. No spots, fatness or sick. I had two scans while stimming.