TTC 10 months + Part 17.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

For all the lovely 10+ers, and anyone else lurking, who has been trying for long enough to start worrying. This is a great place to rest until the elusive BFP shows up.

I remember her critter - at that BBQ her baby was just a few days old I think and snuggled up in a sling.

BTW, there are rumblings about planning another retreat, so I might get to meet mini critter in a few months! Enjoy Turkey Day!

pout I really hope Plan B works out for you.

Hi ladies! Okay back home from a really long work day. I did write a long post this morning but the phone ate my post!

Fox – I think your worries are v normal. I have the same concerns to be honest but Euro and Joy talk a lot of sense and the stats are on your side. I would probably test on proper tests rather than OPKs if you are POAS anyway. How are you feeling today?

Euro – How’s stabbing going? Sorry about the big clots on the train. Apparently depending on the size and colour of clots it can mean different things. This is the Chinese med fan talking of course.

Nelly – Are you not tempted at all to POAS? It’s turning into a v long cycle now. It is NOT menopause!

Pout – I think the letter is a sign – a good sign! Agree with others that you should do the postal re-direction.

Sar – I can’t believe how quickly it’s gone for you. Homebirth sounds v natural and lovely.

Coco – I have read great things about the super lube. I did use it for a while but MrS hated the stuff. He thought it was v unromantic and it put him off I think. It did kinda kill the moment.

Ten – Good luck with the FET. It sounds like you could well get a BFP for Xmas. That would be just fab!

Joy – I am really aghast at your BIL. I just think it’s so unnecessary if they were already expecting. Maybe it was their way of breaking it to you and Roy gently. Either way… I get what you are saying about finding it hard to be happy for them. I would feel the same in this particular case. You are not mean at all.

Critter – so lovely to hear you. Love Guns and Roses. Reminds me of teenage year!

I managed to speak to a v nice nurse/receptionist today and they confirmed I can cycle in Dec if I want. They warned that the Chicago labs are closed for a while (3 weeks) over Xmas and they would normally want to do these tests again in the first few days of stimms. They said it’s up to me if I want to cycle anyway and they can assure me they will do their best. I am now in 2 minds about it. Pros - Dec will be v quiet (less stress) and doesn’t interfere too much with work. Cons – No immune test so any immune treatment will be based on their past experience of someone similar to my case and I wonder how many people will actually be working during this time. Will I be doing it just because I am impatient and it’s really a sub-optimal time to cycle? They did say Mr T was happy for me to cycle in Dec so it’s really up to me. I don’t know what to do.

Joy I know you cycled there last year around Dec – what do you think? Is the clinic fully functional during xmas and new year? Or is it better to wait till Jan when it will no doubt be really busy because all the people who didn't want to do it over xmas are back?

Oohhhh I forgot... did I hear mulled wine 10 plusser xmas party. I would like to gatecrash this year if I am allowed.

eek euro sorry about the nasty AF experience. What a nightmare! I used to have a fear that'd I'd have to work up to due date and end up going in to labour on a delayed train

nelly hmm... You are being very calm about this. I'm impressed! Sneakily got my fingers crossed for you.

joy sorry about the SiL news. They clearly have no clue what it feels like to be in this situation and are too wrapped up in their own "difficulties" to have thought about your feelings. It really sucks that long term ttc has this effect on how we feel about others. But it sucks more that others have no idea how we feel.

Started typing this on the train home and now don't have time for a proper catch up before bed.

Waves to all I've missed

Ah ladies you are all so sweet to be my optimistic and hopeful side for me :). Because this is my post IVF cycle the most likely scenario, by a long shot, is that this is the drugs having some effect. I was told to expect a cycle of 4-6 weeks. (My first 2 IVF rounds, the next "month" was around the 5 week mark.) I'm closing in on 7 weeks now but it is still most likely to be drug related ovulation delay. A BFN is a torture I can do without!

Ah crap didn't realise how late it was, need sleep. Quick hello to Critter who we miss very much.(talking of lovely pics, how come we haven't seen MrC recently?? .)

Morning lovelies!

Well done for speaking out, critter! I've been v open about this being a freezer diffment to get a bit more awareness and understanding for my continued panicky state...

Holding out all the hope you can't muster yourself, Nelly and fox! It's so time for some against the odds surprises!

Wow, nearly there, sar! Snuggly newborn for Xmas!

I'd be tempted to cycle if the big man has ok-ed it, sea! But you've been incredibly patient, so do what feels right for you!

General pet and waves and good wishes for all!

Mad - yes perhaps you are right and thought of it like that.

Sea - this will just be your Nk cells won't it? I can't see why you can't do them before stimming starts and before they close for Xmas. That's what I did last year. They used the results I had got back about 3 weeks earlier. I started stimming just after Xmas. They probably have your Nk cell results anyway - out of interest what were they like the first time they were tested with the full immunes? This will give them some idea. Clinic is fully functional over Xmas. If you need EC or ET on that day, it's fine. It is so much quieter of course as well. I was there at 7am on New Year's Day and there are still lots of people but not pandemonium.

Nelly - I can see why you don't want to test. I don't think we have has any ironduffs on the plusser thread- it's about time we did!

Pout - that sounds all very positive. So pleased you have a referral letter. Great news.

Thanks for hearing me out about SiL. I felt pretty ragey yesterday particularly at my body and a wave of anxiety swept over me as I was looking at my nhs letter and it clearly is just a fertility consultation and not an ivf consultation. It's a waste of 7weeks waiting. Grrr

sea I never get the clots with a mooncup, bizarrely. But I can't be @rsed with one at the moment.

The timing decision is tricky. When would you actually start your cycle if you went for December?

joy that sounds irritating. I think a lot of the NHS fertility strategy is to make people wait in the hope that it will happen naturally and they don't have to spend any of their budget actually treating people.

nelly you are being very patient. I would have to test in your shoes and I am not a frequent tester!

Euro Here’s hoping we both have a brilliantly sober Christmas and NYE for all the right reasons.

Pout I agree with the others post redirection sounds like a plan. Something to stave off the January blues a bit in terms of feeling like you are making progress.

Critter Happy Thanksgiving, ohhh sweet potatoes with marshmallows yum ……

Sea There are lots of pros and cons for each I guess, ultimately when it is costing that much you need to be happy that you are getting the best treatment, can you have your immune tests done a bit early like Joy suggested?

Nelly I would definitely have peed on a fiver by now, I am relentlessly optimistic (just like to make sure) I am impressed at your steadfastness.

Joy That is frustrating but the NHS takes its own sweet time on these things especially IVF! Mine had told me that once I was on the waiting list it would be two years (this was a year after first getting a referral) but actually it turned out to be MUCH faster (six months) and so the apt came through as we were in the middle of a private round. Don’t loose hope it might take a little while but these are all steps in the process.

Thanks for your good luck wishes ladies, I suddenly feel anxious. I think it is because up until this point IVF was always the answer, so what if this doesn’t work….gargh need to go back to being blindly optimistic please!

Ooh Thanksgiving. Yummy sweet potato and marshmallows

But ladies if I was pregnant, then going by post-IVF 1 and 2, ovulation would have been on about day 21. That would mean I would be nearly 4 weeks past that. So officially at 6 weeks, yes? Surely I'd be off my coffee, heaving and holding my boobs by now. Other than completely explainable tiredness (see my 11.15pm post last night!) and hot flushes that I've bloody well been having ever since my last period, there is nada. Also there is the EWCM from last week and I forgot that there was a hint of pink in one bit, I thought it was the start of spotting but it was from ovulation I presume.
So spotting still expected by Monday latest. Much as I want to be wrong.

You are right though, why have we had no ironidiffs? Though I think Sar and Sweet maybe count?

Sea I would cycle. Make you feel like you don't have to write off 2013 psychologically!

Hello all!

Wohoo sea, I'm so excited for you that you can finally cycle. You must be very pleased, although I understand the debate about whether to go for it over Xmas. Hmmm a hard one. Were you planning to be in London for Xmas anyway?

fox and nelly I would have taken a few hobnobs by now if I was in your situations, but I have no patience! I'm so hoping that this is it for you both. It's about bloody time the fertility gods got their fingers out and bestowed some diffs on the 10+ers.

fox I hope the waiting isn't doing your head in. Post treatment 2ww are vair hard.

nelly some of my post ivf cycles were long, but never more than 40 days I think. I got copious amounts of ewcm for about 2 weeks, so mine was def not diffment not that it stopped me poas

euro hope the stabbing is going well. Is your first scan next week? I reckon you're gonna respond amazingly and have loads of egglets.

ten my diff was from a FET at the clinic. You have regular scans from day 7 and have to do opks, twice a day (or 3 times as I ended up doing, ahem) until you get a positive and they then book you in for ET at the right point eg 3 dpo if the embies were frozen on day 3. Wishing you lots of good luck!

coco DTD every day? You are nails! I've forgotten what sex is

I agree that mrsd looks gorgeous in the FB pics and like she's having a well deserved fab time.

joy so sorry about the diffment of sil. Instadiffers still upset me. And how insensitive to tell you about the MC when they are diffed already again. You have been through so much and are very much allowed to feel ragey and down from time to time. Hang in there with the NHS. I have friends who were told they had to wait several years, who will be cycling within about 8 months of seeing their gp. Like euro says, I think the NHS hopes you'll either get preggo or go private if they say they're gonna make you wait.

poutster! So lovely to see you back and with a plan. Get all you can from the NHS I say and I like the post redirect plan.

buzz am loving your pics in the other place. You look fab with your bump.

grouch you are on a similar timescale to me and sar. Hope it's all going ok.

critter happy thanksgiving!

lemons I was so thrilled to read about your 12 week scan. Such fab news.

Waves and luffs to everyone else.

All ok here, I can't believe that this pregnancy is so nearly over (38 weeks on Sat) and still dont really believe we'll get a baby. I've been told I 'll be induced at 41 weeks on the 21 Dec, so will hopefully have produced a 10+er baby, as some of you are getting good news from your AC cycles.

Ah thanks Gin no one so far has told me what to expect in terms of scanning etc so I feel slightly in the dark. I have time to order smileys from the evil amazon as well will do that now. Will have to wait and see re work then, still nothing I can do anything about until the time so need to not worry about the what ifs (what if I am meant to be in Europe on the day they want to scan me?!) etc. What I am most confused about it that they put everything in the freezer immediately, so I don’t understand whether they then expect to put them straight back, still again I will have to wait and see….sorry rambling.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! It's kind of like Christmas morning here. I'm in my pyjamas eating salt n vinegar crisps and making sweet potatoes and marshmallows. I've also got mashed potato and the cranberry sauce to make and bring to MrC's parents in a few hours - all the easy stuff this year!

ten don't panic sweet pea! We've had some really good success with FETs on this board, gin and lemon for two. And you haven't had a chance to give your embies a 'go' yet because of the OHSS. It's annoying that your clinic haven't explained everything clearly. I think the build up to a cycle is always incredibly stressful, too.

nelly you have so much willpower not to test, but I know given what you've been throughout that it might be too much to bear. I didn't test after my IVF cycle for the same reason. God I so hope that this is what I hope it is. Not everyone feels sick in the first try… my mum didn't.

lemon you sound really happy, it's so nice. This is such a hard-won baby after what you went through last year. I'm so bloody thrilled for you.

sea I would cycle. I just think, you've been through so much already. I had the chance to cycle in October 2012 (in the end I cycled in March 2013) and I didn't because psychologically I wasn't ready (I was scared I think). I just think, you've waited long enough. And I also think it'd be nicer to cycle when the clinic isn't so busy.

euro sorry about the heavy period. I really hope it's the last one you have for a very, very long time. I think you're going to respond really well to this round, given that you produced more than one egg on a natural round. And this will give you more chances to find the golden egg. Hang in there honey. Oh and I LOVE that you might be coming out in the spring! Might be a time for me to dump mini critter with Mr C and go out for cake with you to celebrate your pregnancy (I hope, I hope!).

gin I can't believe you're so close. I remember reading you talking about IUI with donor sperm at Easter and now look at where you are. It's flipping fantastic.

coco I had the same experience to sea with the superlube, it killed the moment somewhat, so if you do try it, maybe do it sneakily? It would be good to be charting - then you can show MrCoco after the fact? It's interesting that he's starting to come round. But frustrating for you. The thing is, where I am at least, IVF and assisted conception is SO common that it's less of a big deal - I know tons and tons of people with babies born after a visit to a fertility clinic (or several) whether it was Clomid, IUI, IVF or even just a tube issue. I would actually say it's almost half the people I know with children here. But I think if you're a dude and don't talk about these things, it seems scarier and weirder than it actually is.

fox I am quietly hoping with all my might for you lovely girl.

Waves to everyone I've missed. Off to start on the mashed potato and listen to some radio four podcasts. nelly MrC is as ornamental as ever, we were out with his school friends last night and they were all complaining about how he hasn't aged. We're going to be like Richard and Judy in a few years, where everyone thinks I'm his mum.

Gah, how could I forget lovely joy? Was going to say, it's infuriating that this is for a consultation and another hoop to jump through. I do really hope that they get you on the list and that it comes around much much faster than you expect. It would fill me with rage too to have a family announcement at the same time. When we were cycling, my in-laws used to bang on about how hard they assumed it was for my husband's 27 year old cousin that her younger sister had gotten accidentally pregnant and how they thought the older sister was probably 'trying' and 'feeling the pressure'. Of course both girls turned out to be instadiffers, one now has a baby and the other is pregnant. GAH. And that was mild compared to your situation! I would be incensed. Big hand hold. You've dealt with an absolute shit-fest over the past year with such grace.

Just quickly for ten, I didn't use opks! They scanned me a few times, then triggered my natural egg. So check your clinic's FET protocol before bulk buying! And yes it cam and does work!

Happy thanksgivings to everyone, except joy's in-laws! Am angry on your behalf!

Euro – What are moon cups like? I have always wondered about them. I sort of like the idea but always puzzled over how you change them in a public toilet? How’s the stabbing going?

I would start DR next Sunday 8th. Because they don’t know when AF will make an appearance it will be difficult to do the immune tests.

Fox – How are you coping? Sending love to hugs your way.

Ten – Good luck. I am hopeful you will follow in the footsteps of Lemons and Gin. I really empathise with you about feeling anxious about ivf being the answer. I have been waiting for IVF for so long… now it’s almost about to happen I am really quite scared.

Joy – You are so entitled to feel ragey. You have been through an awful lot and the last thing you need is to deal with family members who make it worst. I know the NHS can be frustrating but UCLH wait in the end was nowhere near 1 year which was what they told me originally. Those fertility consultations are a bit useless but I just saw them as a means to an end. I needed to go to them in order to do ivf. I know how hard the waiting is so I really feel for you. A big handhold.

Thanks for the advice. Re immunes. Aside from my elevated cytokines (38.2 & 22.4), I had slightly high CD19 at 12.2 and CD19 +, CD5 + Cells at 10.3. Everything else was within range. They can do immunes before stimms because I will be DR but if my period comes on the day as expected I should be fine. My gut is telling me to go for it in Dec.

Nelly – You have iron will! I am so impressed. Will you POAS by AF doesn’t make an appearance by Monday?

Gin – I am so excited for you. I can’t believe you are almost there. You will have a new born in your arms on Xmas day. That will feel so amazing. [Happy tears for you]

Lemons – You are passed the 12 week mark. That’s just amazing. Is it feeling real yet?

Critter – Happy Turkey Day to you! Hope it’s a fab one. I bet it feels great to be preggo in the holidays. Mr Critter sounds as handsome as ever!

Thanks ladies for all your kind words. I'm also so grateful to you all for listening to my woes during the waiting. I don't know what I would have done without you all.

sea when were your immunes last tested?? I would probably cycle as you've waited long enough

critter happy thanks giving, I hope there was pumpkin pie :)

joy you're inlaws sound very insular, I am that she is already preggo, avoid as much as possible

lemon yay tto 12 weeks already

nelly lack of symptoms doesn't mean much not everyone gets them, just saying

foxy my lovely, I admire your strength not to test yet, I would have crumbled

ten my fingers are crossed for you with your cycle

euro hope the stabbing is going ok, scan tomorrow ??

gin and sar so very close now, time does fly well it seems to for other people

Actually ten, lemons is right as although we're at the same clinic, we could have been put on different protocols. Did they mention is it's a natural or medicated cycle? I'd recommend ringing up and insisting on a treatment consultation, which they should have offered you. The nurses can do them and will explain everything and give you a sheet with likely scan dates etc on it. Not knowing what's happening must be v stressy.

Awww sea. I am so excited for you that you could be starting so soon. I have everything crossed.

Ha ha re the demands for Mr C pics

Ten I agree with others, make them tell you what will happen! God it makes me so cross we need to be in the driving seat all the time. I hear loads of good stories about FET so you have every reason to feel hopeful!

Critter I like the sound of thanksgiving.

Sea I will need to go back and check previous posts to find out when I thought I had CM and time it from there. Big night out next Friday which is probably the absolute latest I can hold off.

Foxy my hand is still clutching yours tightly.

Sorry got distracted breaking up a cat fight and forgotten what else I was going to say to everyone. But I love how supportive you all are. I feel resigned to the inevitable but I love that you are all doing my positive thoughts for me

sea a bit tricky to get in and out but not drying like tampons. You can usually get away without changing them in public loos as they can be left in a lot longer than tampons. I've only ever changed mine at home or at work.

It sounds like the timing should be fine for a December cycle. Finally! Those dates will probably have you starting stimming very late in the year or in early Jan, so no danger of a Xmas EC.

ten I wonder if I will see you at the clinic!

buzz how are you managing? I saw the photo of you on t'other place - you look amazing. :)

nelly so POAS tomorrow?

foxy I'm thinking of you. (PS your new name makes me think of this )

Yep, I have my first scan tomorrow (and 3rd stimming stab tonight). Annoyingly I will have to DIY. I have made Mr euro responsible for all the prepping as I didn't see why I should have to do everything, but he's out at a work do tonight.

No Euro not tomorrow, night out is next week so plenty more ostrich time before then except AF will arrive first

Good luck tomorrow. Have they given you an idea of how many days Stimms you might expect?

Ah, I see. Plenty more ostrich time then. :)

They didn't say anything but the info sheet they give to everyone estimates EC around day 12, so that would mean 8 days of stimms (starting on day 2, finishing on day 10). But who knows. I'm still feeling pretty relaxed about it, although the side effects are starting - I have a hard little bloaty pot belly that wasn't there last week.

Morning! Quick good luck for the scan today, euro. It's really early days, so don't worry if they're all little still. I had my first scan on day 7 (4 of stimming) and there were just loads of tiny follies. All the action happened afterwards.

Holding hands out to the non-testers. Happy to be the positive thoughts for you.

Sea I reckon December cycle works well for you. Good luck, it's time your patience gets rewarded.

Sorry ginster I forgot you adn ten were at the same clinic. Your advice will be a lot more to the point. Although complete agreement about that you have to call all the shots ten!

Thank you all for your supportive words! I feel a lot calmer today (maybe because it is Friday?!).

It is in part my fault I haven’t bothered asking for an appointment as I don’t really have time. Work, a lot of it, and an AWFUL project director (which is a whole other story) would make leaving the office more than necessary difficult and even getting to speak on the phone to book the scan appointment required subterfuge!

Critter hope Thanksgiving was a success, do you get the Friday off as well? I know how stingy the Americans are with holiday! I am planning on lots of distraction, also I think once I get underway and feel like I am moving forward I will feel better about things.

Thanks Lemon I am going to wait and see what they say before buying anything, when added into the total cost of IVF what difference does a fiver or whatever make when buying OKPs anyway?!

Sea Before I started my cycle I was very worried and felt a bit of despair, but as soon as I got underway I felt like I was in control and doing something positive so I hope you also feel like that once you start (or before if possible obvs!). Hoping that the first scan on Tuesday will bring about similar feelings of calm for me to take me through to test day! Going for it in December sounds like a good idea to me, have you made your final decision yet?

Nelly it isn’t over until the fat lady sings….or something, I like being an ostrich it saves so much hassle!

Euro I know weird isn’t it that we are cycling at almost exactly the same time! Last time I used the Raynes park one for everything but this time I will be doing initial stuff in town I think (for running back to the office). I often find myself staring at the other women who come in and thinking ‘well they look normal what are they doing here’ I have no idea where these random thoughts come from! Good luck at the scan today!

Waves and happy Friday to everyone else!

Ten that sounds shitty. When is your first scan? I do everything apart from EC and ET at Harley St - it's much more convenient for me. I've had exactly the same thoughts every time I have been in a fertility waiting room!

My scan was fine. I've got 4 or 5 follies on each side, although some are still so small they might not do anything. But a few are growing well - the largest is 13mm. The dr thought EC might be as early as Thursday! I'm still feeling pretty relaxed about it all - che sera sera.