TTC 10 months + Part 17.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

For all the lovely 10+ers, and anyone else lurking, who has been trying for long enough to start worrying. This is a great place to rest until the elusive BFP shows up.

Thanks Joyce. My tummy feels especially heavy today with a bit of back ache so maybe it will just rock up on schedule. I've felt quite comforted by knowing my progesterone is being topped up and the lack of spotting makes me feel that it is an issue for me, probably due to inadequate eggs it seems a bit pointless to sit it out to otd really. I just don't really want to be in the next bit as it means end of genetic me. Boo hoo.

Joy - She had cytokine issues but they were "fixed" by Humira. She was officially unexplained but I know he had some morph issues but they went away after taking Chinese herbs. So I guess they were unexplained. She told me after 7 rounds she just couldn't carry on anymore and she felt she had done everything she could to have a bio child and felt good about adopting so they stopped. She is still convinced ARGC is the best and raves about them every time I see her. I am not really sure why as I obviously have no real experience anywhere else. I hope I get to do it in Dec as it's quieter and will feel less stressful. It's also less disruptive for work which is a good thing.

Fox - I am still hopeful for you. IUI can work for some. Will you wait till OTD? I think it's worth doing but that's just me. I don't know much about the pessaries and periods because I was never given them when I had my 2 IUIs. My period came before OTD both times.

Euro - That's v odd about your period. Do you think the scratch did this? I agree with Joy, can't believe you are going again so soon.

Thanks sea. I very small part of me thinks well, the sperm were great and have been put in the right place, I'd just ovulated a medicated egg that had been triggered to pop, the lining was great and I'm on progesterone.thats probably the best chance I've ever had. Then I think well who knows what dodgy state the egg was in and my reading says I've only a 5% chance at best, I wouldn't bet on it if it was a horse. I've psyched myself up for the inevitable knowing that I will still be sadder than I can expect on this side of the news and that it too will pass. I am scared of what it means though. I really don't see any other option but donor egg but that feels final in some ways and still not a guaranteed baby. Big sigh.

Hi fox. The pessaries do keep AF away from me (and I didn't even miscarry until after I stopped taking them).

sea I'm putting it down to the scratch as this really isn't at all typical for me.

joy my last cycle seems very distant now (for me, not for mr euro, who would have preferred to wait longer). Throwing myself into work between the two has been helpful.

sea Hurrah for cycling before Christmas, that is fantastic news. Can't believe how much chasing up at the clinic you had to do.
When are you thinking of getting your cat? I can't help much with advice on cats I'm afraid, buzzy will be your best bet on that! Anything you want to know about the joys of owning dogs however and I can bore for England on that front

rabbits I can't believe that OTD is around the corner already. I can imagine that you must feel that alot is riding on this and I understand you not wanting to burst the bubble of daydreamy optimism by testing. My period came while I was still on the Progesterone as I recall. The witch in my case must be a tenacious bitch to bypass the progesterone!

euro sorry about odd period. Famous last words and all that to the nurse

joy Hope that you are feeling better. I hear you on the bad days where you dwell on a certain person/pregnant/baby scenario and get the rage. I do that too even sometimes now in my new more zen-esque like state I think that you asked further up what my Plan B is. It's a real long shot but it involves a new referral to a different hospital in a different PCT that offers two fresh rounds of IVF rather than one. They will still do another fresh round even if you have had one elsewhere. It is a longshot because apparently although the hospital is very close by it is in another county to where we live & isn't the hospital that the GP usually would refer you to which is in a different PCT (but much further away????) & has a stupidly low age cut off for IVF. I thought it was worth a punt because when we have lived in previous places we had the choice of hospitals in various locations/counties. Writing it down I realise how much of a gamble it is but the GP has made the referral and we haven't heard anything back as of yet so who knows. It was I guess our last throw of the dice that I felt I had to try.

Sorry at a crap catch up. I will be thinking of you rabbits and keeping my fingers crossed

Euro - I'm sorry CD1 is mucking you about. It's just extra stress you don't need before a new cycle.

Sea - Yay for the mayo!! I can't tell you how happy I am that your cytokines are under control. I have to say I was a bit at the inability of staff to answer a simple question. I am very excited that you can start cycling over the holidays.

Fox - Sorry about the progesterone bloat. I'm with Sea, I still have hope for you this cycle. Have you thought about whether you wanted to wait for OTD?

Mad - 15 weeks already! Time really flies.

Joy - I'm sorry you've been feeling a bit down.

Nelly - Sorry your cycle is being frustratingly long.

Pout - Plan B sounds very reasonable to me. I think that at the end of the day we have to go with what is best for us personally, even if it can be a bit of a gamble.

Buzzy - How are you feeling?

AFM I have just been busy with work and slowly preparing for the holidays. I will be at 35 weeks on Weds. This will be a very stressful next two weeks for me at work and then I can hopefully relax a little before the madness of family over the holidays begins.

Is it strange that I feel broken and quite sad when people announce when they will start TTC and then say that it means they will be preggo within 1-2 months of trying because it is how it always works for them?

Pout good for you for going for the referral, I have everything crossed for you. I wont say great news just yet, but it could be and you're very strong for putting yourself through more of the rollercoaster. They really ought to standardise Ivf allowance. How is Mr P about it?

Fox I've had both, af coming whilst on progesterone and also it being delayed. I have every last lucky charm I have crossed for you. Please fertility gods let this lady through those pearly gates! I did read somewhere on t'internet the other day about an 'estrogen priming protocol' which is meant to be good for low responders. Anyone ever heard of it?

Joy I'm so sorry you've had some down days recently. I can totally relate to what you said about replaying some situations in your mind - I so do that, which is why I do a lot of avoidance of certain people. I did go to that interview and didn't get it, but I feel fine about it - I wasn't overly fussed when I came out of it so probably mutual!

Euro best of luck for the next round. Glad the scratch was ok, and sorry for the last minute hf - worth poas do you think?

Sea yey to finally getting the result you needed and getting going. Your patience has paid off.

Waves to everyone else.

Pout when my rabbit goes to Big Water I'm getting a dog immediately daydreamy optimism isn't something I want taken away, even if it is akin to lottery win daydreams. I'd be pissed off if someone said "you will NEVER win the lottery, The End"!
I fear I had a womble cramp just now and we all know where those end! I really hope your plan comes to fruition, it sounds like it could and most definitely should, should you feel ready for it.

oh bollocks just lost a post.

sea I can understand your feelings on the IVIG, the mayo has worked wonders for many, glad you finally have a start date

pout the joys of PCT catchment areas are a great mystery, a bit like area 51 hope they respond soon.

sweet wow 35 weeks, well done on working still, I am ok thanks

Fox I had back pain and cramps and it all turned out well. My fingers are crossed for you still, 5% is still a chance

euro hope all goes well for you this cycle

Evening lovelies!

Hurrah for the low cytokines, sea. I am appalled at the care you've had but delighted the mayo has done something good for you.

Everything is still crossed for you fox. I had womble cramps and spotting before AF was due, this diffment. (But on progesterone, I didn't spot, and didn't come on after the chem diffment, til I stopped the pressaries).

Enjoying the cat chat, although I can't have one, because I got allergic to them in my old age :(

Wow, so soon euro. Know that I am rooting for you and that I do think it's a numbers game!

As I believe it is for you poutster so I am excited by plan B. Fingers crossed the referral goes through smoothly.

I am emerging a little from the haze of knackeredness, and the end of first trimester is near. We had a good 12-week scan; lembie is measuring on the 95% in length and the nucal fold was really nice and thin, so we're very relieved. Full results later this week, but maybe it's time for me to start believing it is real...

Pout - I really hope you get to do plan B. what an excellent plan and I hope you hear something soon. I did think that perhaps we could use each others addresses and sign up with new GPs to get us more free cycles but I think that could be fraud!

Cos - I am glad I'm not the only person who avoids certain people. Sorry you didn't get the job but perhaps something better will come up. That's what I always like to think when I don't get something.

Sea - I am glad your friend adopted in the end. Scary she was unexplained. It just doesn't make sense to me why some people never seen to get there even after 7 rounds.

Lemon - fab that all is well. You should definitely start to believe it! I also am allergic to cats which I developed about 8 years ago. Thankfully I am a dog person and don't have a problem with them.

Rabbit - few eggs doesn't actually mean poor quality like lots of eggs doesn't mean great quality. So 5% stat may not bare any relevance to you. I am chanting with cos on this and praying the fertility gods let you through.

I think I am a bit more cheery thanks ladies. I do think it is the run up to Christmas and no set plan in place is making me pretty vulnerable. Roy and I have been feeling a little bit miserable about another Xmas with no kids. Just the thought of all my friends tucking their babies and excited kids into bed on Xmas eve is a bit but again I am romanticising it no doubt.

sweet I hear you on the hearing about people TTC making you sad. It just seems to ram it home that I'm abnormal & that life has been cruel in this regard. Sorry you have been so busy at work, roll on the down time!

cosmos Sorry that you didn't get the job even if you probably would have said no thanks! MrP is just going with the flow over the referral thing as per!

buzzy at your Area 51 comment

Fox I was thinking about your bunny recently and wondering how he was. I was in Pets at Home going all gooey over the rabbits and giving myself a stern talking to that acquiring one or two or three would not be a good idea.

lemons Lovely news on your positive scan. I am smiling that you might dare to believe it now!

joy Christmas is definitely so full of children bollocks. I think it's the twee adverts. I am pointedly going to do my damnedest to enjoy this one. Just keep remembering that parents all over the world may be tucking their little darlings into bed on Christmas Eve but they will be seeing them again all too soon at some unGodly hour because the little lambs are so excited about opening their presents! Getting up at a civilised time and having a leisurely bacon sandwich is oh so much more appealing

Hi All,

sea you have the patience of a saint, I'm very about the way they treated you but its fantastic that you'll finally be able to start.

fox I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you!

euro sorry that AF is mucking you about. It's never simple. It's amazing to think you'll be cycling again so soon.

pout I like the sound of your plan. I hope the referral goes well

joy sorry about the Xmas blues. I've been sat in the office listening to my coworkers discuss juggling Xmas shopping with newborns. It cheered me mildly

afm The "shag every day" plan was a bust, but no surprise there. MrC and I agreed we're not doing that again! He seems to be slowly catching up with me in terms of thoughts on ttc. He's now decided that maybe opk's might be worth a shot. I reached this point about a year ago but hey ho, boys are late developers I guess.
Work has been busy and a bit shit recently and I'm starting to look around for other jobs but that feels like such a dumb idea after taking this job (4 years ago) in order to have a secure income to raise children

Sea I'm so pleased you have the green light. You have had the patience of a saint. At least all the wait has allowed you to start in as good a position as you possibly can be.

Fox my first cycle I didn't get pessaries, I got an HCG injection 7 days after EC. My period started the day before the blood test. Second cycle I used my contraband pessaries (thanks Buzzy ) and got the CPs, period didn't start until I stopped them. I am keeping everything very tightly crossed for you.

Euro how frustrating, why do our bodies always feel the need to mess with us just when we need clarity. Mine still hasn't turned up, but it's only a matter of time. Of course.

Coco do you think mrCoco will come round to more options? I think shagging every day would break me.

Pout Plan B sounds hopeful. I agree I do think you just need the lucky egg and I really really hope this works out for you. As for Christmas, I still love it but am sick of hearing oh Christmas means so much more when you have children . Boak.

Lemon it has really cheered me to hear you are at 12 weeks. That is amazing. Go Lembie :)

Joy I am glad you feel a bit better. This is tough, no denying.

Sweet 35 weeks. This blows my mind! Time moves very differently dependant on which side of the fence you are on. How exciting. I am FB friends with a few of our differs, but how we will see pics of your new bundle when it arrives? He? I can't remember if you found out or not .

Loves to everyone else I've missed.

Nelly I hadn't heard of hcg post ec. I do think currently that my lining is being super glued in at the moment by the progesterone. In desperation I weed on an opk and it had a line as strong as the test line but not as strong as my peak ov which goes almost black. I was stupid for doing it, it doesn't tell me anything as I get them before my period and when I had the cps so I have been a total arse to myself. Of course I am not pregnant. I am not doing a hobnob unless I make it to the weekend. Then I will sit staring at it pulling this face look at it at various windows and in various lights over a period of a few hours and then I can move on! I don't know about anyone else but sex and Pessaries are just a gross no no for me so I'd like to reclaim my vagina at some point soon.

Coco sex every day is admirable!. I'm sorry it didn't yield the deserved results.

Cos I have read about that protocol. I can't say I understand it but it is on my list of questions. I actually think care don't have many protocols. I'm quite disappointed that I got, here have Menopur, have more Menopur, here shove even more in. I only got ewcm on one day which suggests to me that oestrogen was an issue though I'm not sure I could come out and say that. Soz about the job. But being offered a job you think yeuch to is never good!

Joyce thank you for saying that about my eggs. I have prob popped 32 eggs naturally whilst ttc, I always ovulate but sometimes v late and sometimes v early. I think that is one of my issues. Early and late ov I get spotting, normal ov I usually don't (day 14-15). I think that wipes out about two thirds of my cycles, plus the op 4 cycles, lap 1. HSG 1, I've prob only been in with a chance with under 12 cycles. Two of those I've had cps and all of this makes me think egg quality is a real issue. There might be some good ones in there. I was going to say like macadamias but they are nuts not eggs. Progesterone has a lot to answer for! I'm glad you are feeling a bit better. This bit of the year is not easy.

Euro, hope cd1 has come (I don't get to say that to people on here very often)

Oh and lemon! That is lovely news. This is real and happening!

Sweet o totally understand that feeling. Whatever happens I don't think it will ever leave me. Long term fertility issues leave a deep scar.

nelly I think MrC may come round to more options one day but no time soon. Life has been majorly stressful this last year or so. My father was taken ill, the company I work for nearly went bust and my family had rather dramatic falling out over my Grandfather's will. (Which I really didn't see coming from a previously close family of mild mannered souls)
So the weight of ttc on top if this was just too much, so despite worries about time running out (I'm 39 next year, he'll be 46) I am really trying to "take it easy" but you all know how futile that can be.
He used to talk a lot about "when we have kids" but it's now "if we have kids". Though he commented the other day that the house is finished and ready for a baby, so I know that he really wants it to work.

Sleep time.

Coco - Dtd every day? Hats off to you and I am sorry it didn't work. It sounds like my worst nightmare, don't know where you got the energy. Sorry to hear of the stressful time you Re having.

Rabbit - it is depressing when you start analysing the stats and it is difficult to know what go make of them. recently I have been doing the maths on my eggs too. I have produced about 50 eggs whist TTC plus 28 eggs with ivf. It's not pretty reading. I am interested in live birth stats and not pregnancies but if I reach 100 eggs and no baby , presumably my chances are 0%? That also points to egg quality but then again perhaps the stats are skewed for me because for most of the time I am not on any immune treatment. So it might not just be egg quality against us.
Were you using the opk as an hpt? Is a line on an opk not an intriguing thing T this time of the month?

Pout - I need some of your attitude. I want to enjoy Xmas too and I need to sort that out!

Hurrah for sweet and drizz!

AF is most definitely here now. So stabbing starts tonight!

Must run - meeting starting!

I was Joyce it is darker today and a clear positive. This has happened to me before though. Quite why lh is in my system sufficient to turn an opk darkly positive is a mystery but I have had a mega cocktail of hormones. Of course it could be there is a minuscule chance that it is hcg. It could even be leftover trigger? But I've done four in a row and it's gone from arctic to double lined. I am a fool.

I don't think it means you have a none chance. And don't forget some of those eggs were squeezed out by drugs and might not have been ready. Joyce I always think about you that you have been pregnant and I seriously think it will happen for you when everything stacks up just right.

Good luck with the stabs euro. I am mega impressed with your take it in your strideness. I think it bodes well, you are taking no prisoners!

Euro – any sign of the witch coming properly? Typical she decided to mess around when you want her to come.

Pout – I think plan b sounds good. Of course you must go for what is likely to give you the best outcome. When I was waiting on the NHS I did a ton of research making sure I was referred to the place that had the best results. Did they give you an idea when you might hear back? My suggestion is to always chase if you haven’t heard. My consultant told me she was going to refer. I didn’t hear for months and then realised she hadn’t done it. So always chase if in doubt.

Re cats, Buzz already gave me lots of good advice on the other thread. I like dogs too and have a real soft spot for Weimaraners but I don’t think a flat in London would make a good home for one of those. I might settle for a beagle or schnauzer when we can handle one.

Joy – I think its v normal l to dwell on specific individuals and their baby. Most of the time I am v happy for people who get pregnant but there are a couple of people in my life where it really hurts. Xmas period is just the worst when you are ttc-ing. All the festivities are so geared around children. End of the year also makes me evaluate my life and no matter how irrational it is, every year I look back and feel like a failure for not being about to reproduce. I am still hopeful UCLH will work for you. They do all the embryo stuff at the other place and they have v good results. As for friend who did get her BFP after 7 ivfs… I wonder the same. It worries me that of all my friends who have had problems, the 2 that never got pregnant were both unexplained, both had excellent test results for the usual stuff too. That’s why I have never been overly focused on good numbers. I think they only serve to give you a false sense of security. All the ones who didn’t have good numbers all got pregnant in the end – either naturally or through ivf.

Fox – I agree with Joy about your eggs. Don’t be overly focused on numbers. I know so many people that didn’t have ideal numbers that managed to get their baby. I really think this could still work for you. Don’t beat yourself up about peeing on the OPK, we all do things like that sometimes. I think waiting to test at the weekend is a good plan.

Sweet – I can’t believe you are at 35 weeks. That’s brilliant. I agree with Fox, the concept of time really changes when you are on the other side! Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?

Cos – Sorry you didn’t get the job but sounds like you didn’t really want it anyway. I hear you on avoiding some people with kids.

Coco – I can’t believe you and MrC attempted the shag everyday… sounds v tiring and er…sore. My heart goes out to you, having to deal with all that stuff on top of TTC is awful. A big handhold to you.

Yay lemon 12 weeks is excellent news!

Nelly agreed… I get that all the time. Xmas wo kids is so sad etc etc. Oh please!

Thanks for your kind comments ladies about patience and starting. I am still waiting for the official call but I am less stressed because I know it's good news. I have a question for ladies who have done a LP IVF – do you always start DR on Day 21 or can it be on another day?

Fox..... How many days post trigger are you?

15 nelly. How long does it stay? Nurse said it could be there ahead of 18 days past iui but this feels a little over cautious. She was adamant if I tested before I could get a false positive.

sea when I did my NHS LP round, I started downregging on day 21.

fox I always tested the trigger out with cheapy HPTs and the latest I ever got a faint line from it was 9dpEC (so 11dp trigger). By 12dpEC I was get genuine positives on each of my 3 rounds.

It's not so much taking it in my stride this time as something approaching disinterestedness! I guess whatever it is being less stressed about the process is a good thing.