TTC 10 months + Part 17.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

For all the lovely 10+ers, and anyone else lurking, who has been trying for long enough to start worrying. This is a great place to rest until the elusive BFP shows up.

Den that is ace news. This is all feeling very positive and I have a very good feeling about it.

Sar, thank you. I am wondering how they find more at ec? Longer spent looking or different equipment. I'm really hoping my other follie is still there as the nurse did question that it could have just vanished. Maybe the first ultrasound thought it was one but it wasn't. However, it feels a bit scraping the barrel. One of my fears is that if these really are my last eggs then the quality could well be a bag of crap too. I veer between thinking I must be hopeful to bracing myself for bad news. Hard to know what the best mindset is. They both hurt when the bad news comes in different ways. Like oh I'd hoped and felt so positive or I thought I'd prepared myself for doom but nope, I still feel rubbish of course third option is hopeful/doubtful followed by good news. That would be nice!

Congratulations doll! I'm sorry to hear that you are poorly and in hospital. I hope you are being well looked after at least.

den that sounds great. Good luck for ET tomorrow!

rabbit it's all such a head f* isn't it? It's all the unknowns that make IVF so stressful. You are bearing up really well. How is Hare doing?

Euro, you looked gorgeous in your dress, that colour really suits you. Have you ever had your colours done? I'm quite tempted to get it done, I always thought it was something middle aged women did but a couple of colleagues have had it done and it really does make a difference. I know I look crap in certain colours.

Rabbit, Ivf is so full of uncertainties. There are no guarantees. I know the numbers are different but to give you an idea, the most follicles a scan ever showed for me was 10 so some must have been hiding. And there were only ten by the day 12 of stimming scan. Earlier on there were only 4 or 5.

Cos, how are you doing?

It's nice to hear from you sar. How are you? It's great when the graduates pop back, you are all missed. Buzz, are you feeling any better?

Rabbit I'm so sorry about the scans :(. Like you, I wonder how they can find more at EC. On my last cycle I lost an 11mm follie in two days which was kind of careless of me. And they never found more than at scan. But others have better experiences and I hope yours is one of those. Keep on going lovely, you may yet get the best news possible.

Den I am very happy to read your update and I too have a good feeling. Hooray for the little embies and the frosties.

Doll yay to new Doll but I am sorry you are poorly. Wishing you a speedy recovery and return to your home as soon as you can. Much love.

Euro I agree you looked fab in your photos! Loved the dress, that colour would have made me look about 90 but really worked on you.

Gin your new pic is amazing!

Free I hope the Chinese meds work for you.

Sea, sorry I have been scan reading, when will you know if the mayo has worked?

Loads of work to do (at home thankfully) so better get on with it. Though I did find time to make a . Whoops. Sorry for the yet again rubbish catch up.

Evening lovelies!

Rabbit, I am so sorry it's been so difficult! I agree that ovary might well just hide, and we got more eggs than they thought too. Otherwise, it only takes one. We'll be hopefully on your behalf! It's tough to deal w IVF head fuckery! Big squeeze!

Hurrah for double transfer and the frosties, mrsd! Very pleased and hopeful for you!

Congrats on the little old man, doll! Get well soon!!

You looked lovely, euro! And SB and I worked out what we spent on trips this year, it was embarassing but very important for sanity!

It was us who went to an info evening on adoption and fostering between IVF and FET. It was interesting and we got quite keen! But them this happened, which is making me a crap 10+er as I sleep nearly all the time I am not at work. But I am bloody grateful!

Thinking of you all! Good luck w the scan, mad! How far along are you?

Shaky tail feathers and luffs!

Evening all,

Rabbit I have been thinking of you all day. This process is so hard. I have faith in your follie and the camera shy ovary. This is an important step in your journey and it will help you but it feels bloody awful while you're doing it.

Euro I am very intrigued by this dress!! We spent loads on a trip to Ireland too. Definitely necessary to get me through the summer in between ivfs.

Contracts to Doll and wishing you a very speedy recovery. logistics must make it more difficult.

nelly well done with the procrastination baking. i need to invite round the neighbours at the weekend and was thinking a cake would be nice. and wold stop Mrm and i from eating it all!!

Mrsd that is a great result. will be thinking of you tomorrow and willing a wonderful result.

Lemon I'm 12+1 today.

Thanks for the good wishes and a big wave to all.

Blooming phone! Congrats to doll of course.

Thanks madness, I'm so glad you are 12 weeks, I miss you in these parts. I often think about you when I'm sewing.

Lemon thank you. I'm glad you are sounding so happy - is it all feeling real?

Nelly I'm bracing myself that Boris might have vanished I have no ewcm at all even though I get a lot on a normal cycle. I can only think this is low estrogen which dr google confirms. He always does! I know ok not responding well but I don't normally have estrogen issues, it's one of the few tests that has been fine as far as I know. Sigh.

Rabbit I didn't mean to scare you about Boris. What happened was I had a scan when they told me I had two decent sized follies. I'm 100% sure of this as I wrote them down on their sheet, and let's be honest I wasn't going to get that wrong. 2 days later it was one. They checked my notes when I went mental questioned them, and the nurse from scan 1 had only recorded one follie . I'm still a nasty mix of livid and confused as the first scan really got my hopes up. The second nurse suggested that perhaps nurse 1 decided it was in fact just a blood clot (.???) but apologised that she hadn't told me this. So, I think it's very rare for a normal follie to go missing.

Re the extra eggs at EC time, I've thought about it a bit and decided it is much more likely when you already have a good few. Once they start draining them the ones behind will become apparent, whereas empty ovaries leave little room for error. Several times I've been told they can't find an ovary as my bowel is in the way "but they wouldn't be able to hide if anything was happening in there". Geee thanks .

I realise that all sounds very negative but I know you and I are so similar that there is a good chance you will experience much the same. But the main thing to remember is even one egg is a result; and this is better than a normal month because you will know about fertilisation. And you have been tantalisingly close before so maybe you just need this little push. And your eggs are much younger than mine! Open heart :)

It's ok nelly. I think nurse one maybe made a mistake. I can't see how they'll find more and your theory makes a lot of sense to me. Not one single thing has happened in the sat three years that has given me any suggestion that good things sometimes happen for me in the ttc department. My only coping strategy at the moment is to mentally write this whole cycle off and throw myself into researching donor eggs. A letter came through inviting us to an adoption evening on Thursday even though in conversation I was told they don't do those. It felt like a sign

(I meant my nurse one)

nelly makes a good point that if you can get one at ec rabbit then you will be a step forward if you get fertilisation. When is your next scan?

I am so fed up of all the drug taking. I've had to make myself a schedule of what to take and when because it's so complicated. Some must be taking in morning, some in the evening. Some after food, blah, blah. Oddly, I'm finding the progesterone the worst. I know this sounds ridiculous but I feel like my vagina has closed up and it's a real effort to get the capsules in. I seem to be very dry down there. I did ask about whether I could use the back door but was told that absorption from there is not as good. I really feel like I never want anything or anyone to touch down there again.

Mrsd – fab news on your haul and all those frosties. That’s great! I hear you on the drug taking, hearing about yours brings back bad memories!! My drug taking started at 6am and finished at midnight everyday - dex, ritho, beno, clexane, aspirin, cyclogest, gestone and then about 5 supplements. I had beepers going off all the time. It’s a bit of a nightmare isn’t it?!

Rabbit – i hope tomorrow’s scan does show some more follies. I really do. When we had 2 embryos barely worth putting back , my coping strategy was also just to write it off. That way I didn’t feel in limbo. I just thought forget it. Of course in the back of one’s mind there is always that hope that actually this could work, it does for many people who seem to be against the odds but one has to finely balance that hope and realism for oneself. But I still truly believe that there is hope for you, of course there is. We have had a couple of people on here who have beaten those odds and I think the fact you have had several CPs/early m/cs is a sign that all is not lost. Big hand hold.

Mad – wishing you a lovely day today.

Doll – many many congratulations!!! I’m sorry to hear you are unwell and wishing you a very speedy recovery.

I have had the most appalling dry skin on my face now for several years. It is like horrible sand paper. I’ve had recommendations on here of what to use. I have tried every oil and ointment going. I have tried cutting out various foods to see if that was the problem but to no avail. The last couple of days I have noticed my face is getting softer and smoother and back to what it used to be. The only change I have made is that I haven’t taken any folic acid in over a month now. Inadvertently and through laziness I think I have found the culprit. What a bitch! It’s annoying they say you need it because I cannot believe that it can be that good for me if it dries out my skin like that. It must be that.

How odd, joy. I just had my first few weeks off the frolic acid in 3 years. I didn't notice any difference though. It was just nice not to be pill popping for a while. My hands always get horribly dry in winter and my solution is to wear gloves all the time (plus loads of hand cream) but that is really not an option for the face!

mrsd I diagnose that your fanjo has gone on strike! I certainly recognise the feeling of not wanting anyone to touch down there again for a while. I always feel like that for a good while after each round.

rabbit I keep finding my thoughts wandering towards adoption. I'm still not sure though. I'll have everything crossed for your next scan tomorrow.

Den the pessaries sound grim. One all upside if my cycle is canceled!

Joyce I think it is about finding the balance. I'm way too much of a pessimist but I've been proved right every time! Folic acid has no effect on me I don't think. Hydraluron has been the best thing ever for my dry skin which is an ongoing battle.

Euro I've been thinking of surrogacy over the past few weeks. H is very dubious. I'm only thinking of it in my head and have not googled. Anyone else here ever thought of that? It might be plan d after a) natural b) ivf and c) de ivf. Jeez!

That's fascinating about the folic acid, joy. We're you taking it on its own or with other vitamins? I always thought b vits were good for skin. I have wondered how good it is to take vitamin supplements for an extended time. Normally you'd only take them while ttc which would only be a few months for most people and then maybe during pregnancy. I have been making dh take a supplement and he was moaning the other day that's it's made his nails go all ridged and rough. When I'm in the uk I buy pregnacare but I sometimes buy a different brand here. They have very different amounts of vitamins which makes me think they have no idea what you really need for ttc.

I have a 3 cell and a 5 cell inside me now :) the transfer went smoothly, although he did worry me by saying they were both at the bottom of my uterus, I'm willing them to move away from the cervix. I don't want them to fall out.

Were not we're. Doh.

They won't fall out Den I'm glad they are home safely.

mrsd Well done on being PUPO, rest up my lovely

rabbit there is lots of info of surragacy but I think you'll find you won't need it, I did think about it but the cost was too great for us

joy sorry about the dry skin, no advice on it really

It's just a small idea buzzy. No idea where the money might come from but I do have an ongoing plan not shareable here but that some of you might have guessed is bubbling along.

My ovaries hurt. I'm hoping this is Boris growing and not imploding in on himself.

Rabbit - my gay male friends spent £25k using a surrogate but no ivf was needed as the surrogate just used a turkey baster and her own eggs. I gather it would have been more like 50k if ivf would have been needed. I have thought about it but cost is prohibitive for us plus I don't think my immunes are so bad that they are stopping a pregnancy. Our issue seems to be more complex.
I am pleased you are formulating plans.

Mrsd - hurrah at being Pupo. Excellent news! Thinking about it I was taking a preconception tablet but I would often wack in another folic pill for the hell of it. Everyone is so up on supplements and my nutritionist got me spending a fortune on the damn things. Dry skin pre all those supplements though. But my mother's generation were only on folic and none of these supplements and so it makes me wonder their real benefit. Are they just faddy or marketing ? Plus most my friends started on the folic once they got pregnant and none of those pregnacare things. The fact that your hubby's nails have gone weird and my skin was weird would suggest to me that they don't agree. Perhaps I am wrong though!
Oh nothing will fall out. They'll be swimming around to embed now.

joy your friends paid alot especially as there was no IVF, the quotes I have heard are for around £15,000+ with IVF, was she private or through an agency, its supposed to be no profitable, Its hard to know if all these supplements actually help, I always think I need a higher dose

To chime in on the supplements, I got a weird itchy neck and collarbone rash from taking straight folic acid (bought in a US supermarket. I switched to pregnacare from the uk and the rash went. I wonder if it's something in the filler, rather than the active ingredients?

rabbit I was reading a blog (can't remember where) by a woman who used an Indian surrogate. It was much cheaper. Ethical questions of course. I am cheering on Boris. I imagine him as a tiny but robust egg with a shock of blonde hair.

den I am rooting for you lovely. Hurrah for frosties and two embies on board. They won't fall out, your cervix is clamped shut.

euro agree you looked gorgeous. I love hot pink! I got my colours done and am a light spring. Was a really fun thig to do.

Waves to all. Sister critter is doing egg freezing. Strange to see her going through it, am trying I provide as much handholding as I can.

Buzz - they went through surrogacy uk or something. Not private. A lot of people went to an open day, they mingled, found this lady, bonded and within about 10months she was pregnant after 2 turkey bastings. Not bitter at all! I thought 25k was steep but it wasn't for profit, it was just costs to her.

Den well done that sounds great news.

Doll so glad littleist doll arrived ok but sorry you're suffering now, get well soon.

Am away and it's harder to post so just a collective wave and group hug all round