Eggcellent Egg Buddies! Come and join us if you're IVFing in August, September or October!

[nobeer]

Share your experiences, worries, recipes, holiday recommendations. Swearing welcome.

prambo and stars. I am on a/ds too. My consultant discussed this with me and we decided that it would cause me more emotional hardship to come off them than stay on them and be more emotionally stable thro the whole thing. It's a really tough decision and I do wonder if I'll try to come off them once I've got a bfp, to be on the safe side. Whatever we decide we do it because its ultimately the best chance for us and the little embies xx

wish I'm so sorry ur feeling so shit today. Be kind and indulgent to urself and just try to keep in the back of ur mind that all this is for a wonderful reason (hopefully). Big hug xx

Iwant, with DS cycle my clinic said I had to be on fluoxetine as it had most data on it as was oldest, I've been on others since but changed back to fluoxetine for this last cycle just because it made me feel better! Without them unfortunately I decline quite quickly into a bad state and can't see the woods for the trees, it can be quite scary. So, as you say the risks were higher for me stopping than staying on. It feels hard to write that as i still wish I didn't have to be on them. Anyway, I changed to sertraline in my third trimester as they are safer to be on and also can breast feed on them. My DS is fine, thank goodness, although the risks are pretty low of related problems, however, we never want any risks if possible do we?!

Wish, glad you are indulging yourself today. You deserve to. Buserilin sucks!

pram sorry to hear you're feeling crap. Are you coming off them slowly, following Dr's orders? I was on them years ago before I even thought of ttc, but fortunately came off them fine. Have you thought of changing to a "safe" one, or coping on a lower dose? Thinking of you my sweet.

Thanks, girls, I'm actually taking myself off them (slowly, slowly; I am currently snipping 5mg crumbs off) so that, in the event of infanticide postnatal depression, I can go back on them. Does that make sense? I won't martyr myself though; if this tsunami of evil doesn't end soon I'll push 'em up to 20mg. I've actually had to take a little break from the antenatal thread because I was feeling so irascible

wish here's a hug ((())))) you are feeling overwhelmed and thats understandable. Xxxxx buserilin is a horrible drug to take. Have you had af yet???

prambo I ain't confused!! X

Thanks Tame I had a bleed this morning so was very happy but it's stopped again now! I don't understand what's going on

prambo I can't for a second pretend to understand how you're feeling but I feel for you. I can imagine its a horrible thing to go through. I hope you combat it soon x

In advance, I know that it is against the rules of reasonable thread behaviour not to post then to come on to moan so I apologise but...

Another fing birth announcement yesterday, this one a happy "accident" (supposedly but to a couple in their 30s with one DC already so not entirely accidental on her part, I suspect). There's been at least one a month for every fing month of the year so far with no respite in sight as others to follow at least monthly until January 14. My ability to cope with others' happy news is diminishing rapidly.

Hope you're all feeling better adjusted to the realities of life than I am tonight.

I am a loser, I know, who needs to learn to live in the moment of her objectively and subjectively OK life but I just cannot. .

resp personally it upset me a little when you felt that its against the rules to not post then come on and moan. Is that the way people feel?
I personally feel that life takes over, sometimes posting doesn't fit into things or people just generally don't have anything to say. Does that mean we can't come on when we need to, even if it is to moan?

I'm very sorry to hear how you're feeling resp. I understand. It seems there's baby after baby at work and as happy as I am for them, I need want it to be me! I can only hope that it will be and you too. We can do this xxx

Right, this is my third attempt at trying to post this!
It's alright res, I understand. I was in tears yesterday afternoon because I found out another colleague is pregnant. I never predicted I would feel this way, I filled in a questionnaire for the psychologist at at the clinic when we were starting all of this process months and months ago and one of the questions was about how you react to the news that someone is pregnant, and I think I ticked absolutely fine. It's incredible how I've changed over time, and I don't like it one bit. Being jealous of someone's good news is such a destructive and unhelpful emotion. But what do I do? If I see her, I'll congratulate her and be nice because she's absolutely lovely, but inside I'm sad and crying. I don't think I handed in the form in the end, but I might do if we're not successful next time.
DP on the other hand, can really separate his feelings. If a friend or someone he knows is pregnant, he's truly delighted for them. Yesterday he quite rightly pointed out that other people's pregnancies have nothing to do with our situation and there's no point getting upset about it. Maybe blokes just deal with it better.

And don't feeling bad about coming on to moan. I'm sure we all do it!

I think it's fine to come on just to moan, don't worry about it resp we are all entitled to moan with what we r going thro surely. And hopefully this is the safe place to be able to do it and get sympathy and encouragement. I know how u feel about 'announcements' at work I've become so used to seeing pregnant women at work I just use my usual 'f* off' stance (said only to myself of course), it's just a coping mechanism. We all need these mechanisms to deal with the stress. Take it easy and feel free to have a moan on here - ur always there for support and advice to others resp so it's only fair x

nobeer. I think ur right about blokes being better at coping. My OH is very good a compartmentalising stuff as his way of coping with stuff x

This happened to me last night. Went out with a close friend and was contemplating telling her about the ivf. However as soon as I saw her she said 'I've got some news...'
So I didn't tell her. And I won't tell her now. It didn't seem right in the face of her joy to be all 'yes, we're infertile.' I didn't even know she'd been trying, she said they'd been trying 'halfheartedly' for two months. Then spent the whole evening rubbing her belly.

I'm not jealous that about the actual baby, I'm jealous of how easy it is for other people. Does that make any sense? 99% of the population have it so easy. They get unlimited attempts at making babies without medical intervention and spending thousands and thousands of pounds.

Also it turned out that she and another pregnant friend have been out for dinner twice this last week - usually I'd be invited. Can't help feeling it's because I'm not part of the pregnancy gang.

res as far as I am concerned you should use this thread however works best for you, and you never need to apologise for that.

still I completely understand that. Some friends of mine are due a few weeks after I would have been this autumn. They had never wanted kids, and then had some family to stay with their small children and though "actually, that could be nice". They were pregnant within a month and everything seems to be going fine. My pregnancy was so hard fought - two and a half years and a round of IVF. And they will get a baby out of it and I won't. So yes, I am jealous about how easy it is for others.

I am also jealous of the ease at which others have babies. I have had a situation recently with an old friend that tried for years with her ex then fell pregnant really easily with her new partner. Somebody (not the friend) made a comment about perhaps me and DH just aren't compatible. perhaps we just aren't meant to be together and have children. People are so tactful!

And also because I have DD, pregnant friends seem to flock to me for baby, breastfeeding and sleeping advice or just general "what did you do about this?" even those that know what we have been through badger me for advice. my childless friends are the best support by far.

res use this thread as you wish. I dont think anyone on here is keeping a tally!!

tame if you were incompatible, you wouldn't have survived IVF together. Honestly, some people are so fucking rude!

Res, don't worry - this is an excellent place to rant and it really can help others bring out their feelings and fears which is really helpful.

All the wonderful ladies on this thread - we all seem to be ins bit of a dark place at the moment which is such a shame. Pram can you please being back the boogie? I can't remember what it was called but think we could all do with a visit to funky town to cheer us up

Tame what a rubbish and unthinking comment - god people can really be so insensitive - grrrrr.

I'm jealous at the ease others manage it too and I'll never stop wondering WHY.

Nor me twinkle.
I have concluded I have done something bad in a past life.

still. You mustn't think that way, these things are sent to try us. Other people have other struggles in life, and this is ours, don't be so hard on yourself please . Someone not long ago on this thread said something really good which has stuck in my mind, god gives the toughest challenges to those who are strong enough for them. I know it's hard, but try to turn the negativity into some sort of positive, it's will help you mentally thro all this xx

I like to think of it in this way. I didn't meet up husband until I was 37 and up until then I felt unlucky and sad that I hadn't met the right man. But when I did meet him I realised it was all worth it and that the waiting meant I'd met a better more wonderful man than I would have done before. I like to think that when we do have our babies (if I'm going to think positively I may as well go whole hog eh!) that they will be more wonderful and loved because of the struggle it took to get them.

Couldn't have put it better myself fab. I'm exactly the same as you. It took me a long time to meet the right man for me too! X

Me too fab! I was single for a looong time, had a few dodgy encounters and finally met lovely DP at 37. Thinking back on those dodgy exes, there really isn't anyone else I'd want kids with so really I am quite lucky and privileged.

And yes, we are in a bit of a dark place on this thread. Think we need to start talking about recipes and daft nonsense again.