Eggcellent Egg Buddies! Come and join us if you're IVFing in August, September or October!

[nobeer]

Share your experiences, worries, recipes, holiday recommendations. Swearing welcome.

Pip, sending you love. Great post, I thought, and it would be a dreadful shame if we couldn't vent or express ourselves on here. Don't feel bad x

chocolocolulu I have been up & down like a fiddlers elbow for the last week or so, so thank god you're back! I have been in desperate need of a bitch slap and a huge bear hug too still no sign of AF It's great to hear you so happy about your new clinic. I agree whole heartedly about feeling comfortable with your clinic. The easier we can make this process the better, & even & especially the little things can make all the difference. Hope the nurses at the new clinic are as good as the old one.
euro I know you already knew, but sorry about the official bfn. It sucks at every level.
pip I feel your pain. I too have never had two lines or any of the other things you mentioned. I look at each step as progress: number of follies, eggs collected, eggs mature/fertilised, embryos transferred -every single step is getting me closer to that first pregnancy (let alone a beautiful baby) Your comments are not bitchy in the slightest.. With you all the way x
twinks chuffed that you have a plan a grand-ouch! Your husband is a very wise man Hope you can stretch to the odd poached egg with the beans on toast, yum yum.

Ffs posted too early! Will be back....

Hello lovely ladies - can I join? I'm due to start ivf soon.

Quick initial poll - how on board do you think your dh's are with ivf. Any tips for getting them to focus on the fact that they have to think about it?

X

Choc, brilliant that you've chosen your clinic. If choosing the donor feels Hitleresque weird me & Motor will listen x

Stars, another thoughtful and heartfelt post.

Euro, I'm sorry, too, for the official BFN but I deffo think you'll get your baby with a new clinic and more embies.

Still, I thought fish's post was brill and I agree that you're more scared of twatty DH's lack of support than the IVF failing. Diabetes does not equate to a more painful or arduous cycle, but this thread will give you space to rant about domestic/work/relationship shit which can press in on all sides.

Thoughtful, welcome. I organised and dealt with every aspect of my cycle abroad without any input whatsoever from my husband. I think sometimes women expect too much from men who are fundamentally incapable of focusing on this stuff as fiercely as we are. What is unacceptable, in my opinion, is a man who is cavalier with his vitamins, who refuses to lower his alcohol intake to a minimum or quit smoking (like mine).

fish you have been talking so much sense today. My brain is mush at the mo but I can still appreciate articulate, well deliberated opinion.
maryp are you managing ok on our 2ww?
prammy I think the decision to go down the DE route brings very different challenges. You may not face the physical side effects of EC but the emotional side sounds more than I could cope with. I admire all you ladies.
motor thank you for being so supportive to everyone. You are our voice of reason. How are you doing lovely?
stars sorry you're feeling so low. You have every right to yearn DC2 & you deserve every success in your journey.
wish back to the little fuckers! Chooo Chooo!!

Welcome thought . Can we have your ttc history? insatiably nosey

Has anyone had any experience/side effects of
Bureselin?

Oh and welcome thought

I'm pretty lucky with my DP, he wants this as much as I do and will do anything to get it. His sperm is perfect and he's über supportive with the fact that its me messing up our life plans. He's a pain in the arse of course and doesn't help my hormone driven strops sometimes but hey ho, we can't have it all

So ladies, I'm having the AF of a lifetime here, that bitch will just not stop, once she has gone, how long does it take for my cycle to get back to normal.
Silly thing is I still have to test tomorrow, I'm bleeding like a stuck pig here.

Pip - mine went back to normal straightaway. Hope yours does too. My ivf af was horrible too :(

wish can't help with the busereliin but fuck me the side effects list on the nhs site is immense! Are you suffering already? Your DH sounds great! How annoying to have perfect sperm just like my DH!! I just need some perfect eggs & lining now

Pip I had a 38 day cycle after my bfn which I was told was normal. It was driving me crazy as my cycles have been 29/30 days since ttc but it could have been worse. .

Yeah is annoying brooker ha. The selfish part of me wishes he could experience being the 'broken' one for a day or two, I know he'd completely freak out. We were told we may have ICSI on our first cycle depending on his sample but it came back perfect. For the couple of hours before he found out what his sample was like he was sweaty and pacing the hospital room! Men eh?!
My eggs seem fine and my lining is always nice and snuggly so we have no idea why #1 failed! Booooo!

Today is the second day of Buserelin and I have loads of CM (yuk), my wee is dark orange even though I have drank water all day with one coffee early this morning and I'm having strong AF aches a week early. I'm guessing its my jabs?

Sorry - I was in a bit of a strop earlier with my dh hence the post. It was rude of my not to introduce myself (ttc history).

Ttc not long in the scheme of things. Coming up for 2 years but I have had 2 ectopics in that time. One ruptured but they left the tube. Next resolved (but basically got stuck on scar tissue from first ectopic). Tube removed and remaining tube a mangled mess. Lots of adhesions and endo so we have been approved for ivf.

I will attempt to catch up with your stories too but do forgive me if I get a little lost. The thread moves so quickly.

What happened to the tmi alert wish? Doesn't sound like the issue is with you either. Just the combination not working as it should? Know that feeling... unconfirmed, but suspect its down to me
pip my AF after failed cycle was not affected -28 days bang on. However, 2 cycles on & I am 5 days' late. I know it doesn't sound a lot but I'm waiting to start round 3 ivf as soon as AF shows up so it's driving me potty! I am normally very regular at 28 days bob on. Typical.

thought sounds like you've been through a lot. You are in good company here. Do you now what protocol you will be on? My DH has been very supportive all the way through so not difficult to get him on board except the odd fag annoyingly I do try to concentrate on key stages to help him focus -ie extra effort required in the run-up to EC with a reward afterwards

Just been browsing, but wanted to pick up on the DH bit as I'm still in awe of mine... (Btw - I'm at the compliments, I do waffle but I'm glad its coherent).

My husband has been amazing. Last year before our therapy (unrelated to IVf though it featured) this IVF would have broken us as he wouldn't have been decisive, confident or open enough to be supportive.

He:
Attended every single appointment (wasn't necessary, but he took notes, reminded me when I had to see the nurse, controlled the situation as my mind never made it to the clinic and had me playing quiz thingys in the clinic when I was anxious)
read the zita west book.
researched stuff
did most injections
Stupidly abstained from alcohol in some weird sense of solidarity
maintained the house if/when necessary
Took his manvits, wore loose trousers
Refused to have sex with me after ET (I was gagging, we never had sex during IVF my ovaries swelled up quickly and I was constantly uncomfortable)
Bought home flowers and choc after I got mardy over the fact I had been born a woman and he had the indecency to only contribute a wank.
Stayed by my side while I miscarried
Kept me calm when I felt the baby pass
Offered to clean me up when i couldn't bear to wipe our baby away
Held me for days while I bawled

But above all, he was engaged. This made all the difference to me. To be honest, reading the above he sounds like a pushover. He isn't, but he did always want a baby more than me. My need for a child came much, much later (about 10 mins after I was told my tubes were blocked).

Now, not all husbands are as above and not every woman would want that. my DH and I have been through hell, my marriage nearly failed last year and I was happy to walk out so don't think that I am gloating or special - it is no reflection on your husbands or relationships at all my DH is no angel. Everyone works differently and the whole process excludes men anyway. How many of the staff address you both? Men are excluded in many cases, by biology I think it can be hard for them to comprehend it all as so much happens to ours in general and not all women will share every single aspect of their biology as standard. I think IVF is scary and emasculating to many men and they may feel redundant. Mine was more fascinated by the scifi aspect mind you.

I don't know how you can force someone to be engaged, but I know I couldn't have done it without at least half of the list above as I would have felt even more alone and I think every woman should have a strong support even if it isn't DH. The zita west book has an excellent chapter dedicated to men which isn't patronising and deals with the feelings that men might experience.

I hope that answers the different ways in which DH can help, and my experience of (excessive) support. This is not intended as a gloaty post nor as a comparitive one. I'd still take a millionaire husband over mine fickle
Sorry for the length - I'm tipsy.

still forgetting about your husband and the diabetes for a minute, can you consider how much you want a child? That is key to you deciding your next step. How much do you want another baby? If you really do then it will make further decision making easier on you, regardless of what your husband wants. Yu may find that you don't want another (decision made), or that you desperately do (decision made).

Welcome back to wish, brooker, myself, hello thought and sorry if I've missed anyone out.. Lots of issues around here and I won't comment on it all or this thread would become the fish show.

fish in my book a real man does the things that some people might think weak or a pushover. They are sensitive and caring and supportive. I could not be going through this without the total support of my DH. He is no saint either those pesky fags BUT he mostly puts me first and is there to take the shit when I am moody and hold me when I am tired & emotional. That's all I need I also like the reality check he gives me from time to time. it wouldn't work for everyone Im sure but I need a 'shut the fuck up' every so often
I'd still run off with Johnny Depp given half the chance

still welcome! My view is to forget IVF for now & focus on your relationship with DH. If you're not able to discuss openly how you feel and share the anxiety of this process, I wouldn't want to embark on ivf anyway. Work out WHY you are treading this path before signing up to anything. You will need lots of support, believe me & being forced into ivf with your anxiety & lack of DH support is not a good starting point. Keep talking

It's true that I will be doing this on my own. Irl I'm not telling anyone except my mom but she is not supportive. She hates my dh and thinks having more children particularly after having to go through ivf is a massive mistake.
Dh will have to look after Ds and go to work so I will go to appointments on my own, except egg collection when we will have to find somewhere for ds to go.

Dh was whining last night because most likely our first cycle will be through October half term and he was hoping to go on holiday then. Also he suggested I get a job to finance the ivf (have been a sahm). He has 40k in the bank (only in his name) but thinks we should keep that money just in case. I said that starting a new job and then repeatedly needing time off for apps was going to be tricky. Plus it pushes everything on to me, physically and financially.

I find this all doubly annoying, perhaps irrationally, as this is HIS issue. Most likely if I was with someone else I wouldn't be having to do this.

Still to be very blunt I think you need to have a very serious look at your relationship before you consider another child, IVF or otherwise.

News from Bin Towers is that I tested this morning and it was a BFN as expected.

still you sound unhappy. I think you should post in relationships because although you want a baby the core issue isn't IVF. I don't like slating anyone's husband but he sounds quite awful and I'm wondering if your earlier defeatism was actually low confidence from being with such a man.
How old are you? How long married? And that 40k is yours too regardless of who is on the bank book as you are married.

Pip - i'm so sorry. It still ranckles doesn't it. Thinking of you.

Sorry pip

Has anyone seen AF? She appears to have got lost? She's normally very punctual but since this bloomin norethisterone she's gone AWOL!!! Pip thinking of you x