Eggcellent Egg Buddies! Come and join us if you're IVFing in August, September or October!

[nobeer]

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No sorry I didn't mean it had no chance of working for others. I meant for me personally I feel it won't work. I know people irl it has worked for, of course it can work. I just don't think it will for me.

I see, i'm sorry I jumped down your throat - a comment like that can have people in tears.

Why do you think it won't work. Lets explore that. You must be considering it if you are here. You must have the want of another child. So lets look at the problems and consider the issues drawing upon the experience here. Especially as IVF is a laymans catch all for all fertility treatment and you may not need the full shebang.

Thanks fish. I've already had a bunch of immune investigations with Shehata and a consultation that we never followed up on with Gorgy. I want to see what my clinic and the potential new one have to say about the additional tests.

It's ok, I'm sorry too. I know it's hard. I am grateful to have ds but I want another baby as much as I wanted him. In some ways it's worse because he asks why he hasn't got a sibling. A lot.

My dh has severe mfi. We will need icsi. I can have short protocol though. I feel very angry about it all. I feel like having diabetes already loads of stuff that is easy for everyone else (ie eating) is more complicated for me. And now this has to be super hard too.

I guess as I said it's just a gut feeling. In the same way that I felt we would get pregnant quickly with ds, that he would be a boy and also that the pregnancy would be successful. Despite being a terrible worrier I just knew it would be ok. So I sort if feel maybe I should follow my instinct. But then another part of me says to get a grip and give it a go. I actually suspect that ivf will make me very ill and that scares me. It is scary. Dh is not very supportive. He just keeps banging on about the cost of it all. He was glad I could have short protocol because it was cheaper not because it is less likely to cause side effects.

I'm on my way out (poetry event for the nosey parkers), but I'll respond to this later.

My diagnoses is that you are scared rather than defeatist we can work with that!

still you could do natural IVF + ICSI. You wouldn't have to stimm and I did my last EC awake with just a few drugs to take the edge of the pain. That sort of thing might make things easier for you? The success rates are lower though (because there is only one egg) so it can be more expensive.

Have you thought about IUI? I found that a lot easier than IVF. Are the MFI too severe for that? Has your husband already done everything he can in terms of lifestyle and supplements to improve things?

Thank you all x x

The embryologist has said icsi. The sperm are too poor for ivf. We have high count, ok morphology but low motility (20%). Even the fast ones don't swim very quickly apparently. They feel that icsi is our best shot. The clinic nearest to us does not offer natural cycle ivf.

I have an appointment to speak with the anesthetist about how egg collection would best be done. And I have an appointment with my diabetes specialist too.

I think I'd be less scared without the diabetes. And if dh was a bit more helpful.

Dh has stopped drinking and lost weight. After three months the count was about the same (100 million ish) and morphology had improved but the motility stayed the same.

He is hugely stressed at work. We do wonder if that is what has caused the problem. Unless it's always been like this and we were hugely massively lucky with ds. We will never know.

This is the level of support:

After yesterday's meeting he's done nothing but take the piss regarding the progesterone pesseries. Also we had to have our blood tests and he made a massive fuss about having blood taken and keeps showing me his bruise.

There is no consideration that I will be putting myself through a lot more than a blood test.

still your last post really made me sad. Have you spoken to him about how your feeling? I think life hit the nail on the head, you're terrified of being poorly or it not working but most of all, you know you won't get the support you need from the one person you need it from.
IVF is available, do you think it could help him realise how much is involved in IVF? His sperm is the reason you're doing this right? Maybe he needs to see what you're going through for him.....???

Hello everyone else, will post properly later

Shit, that was meant to say IVF counselling is available! Doh!

euro sending you lots of love.

still I can share my experience with you and hope that it helps (if you get bored please feel free to skip over ). We discovered that DH has MFI and from what I can remember his stats were a lot lower than your DH and IUI was recommended to us. As far as the tests went it looked like I was OK apart from having irregular periods. We both wanted a Baby and it was a Joint decision to go for it. Did the IUI and discovered that the SA was so bad that we had to go for ICSI. We both said OK but to be honest I had absolutely no idea about what it entailed. Had a HUGE needle phobia and the thought of having to inject myself made me feel physically sick. We did all the stuff mentioned above and after our first ET with 2 Embies our DS was Born in 2013 even though we were only ever quoted 20% success (sorry ladies, but I am one of those lucky bitches). We are nowing trying for #2. The Transfer was on Monday and so now it is just a case of waiting.
The physical stuff was hard but it was the emotional side that I found and still find the most difficult - and I fully appreciate that I have had a much easier time than most on this board. It's the famous head fuckery, the not knowing, the lack of control and just having to do everything the hard way (although I as said before, we have had it easy in comparison). I can't scroll back to see who said it, but this time is easier because we have DS. No matter what happens we have a beautiful Boy and I will be forever grateful for that. But Life and Fish are also right - you will be the one doing all the hard work and it sounds like DH Needs to grow up. I have had nothing but Support from DH and I couldn't have done it without him. Can I give you my honest opinion? It sounds like it isn't the Diabetes Holding you back, but your other half who is acting like a twat. No wonder you are unsure. I think it is great that you are not taking Things lightly and maybe it would be useful for you (both) to talk to a fertility counsellor?
Sorry for the waffling. Life Story over.

Sorry Stillif that last bit about DH was a bit harsh

euro I am so sorry to hear that you got a BFN. I don't know what else to say. X

pip you do not sound like a bitch, and I agree with everything that you said there. How are you doing?

twink great to hear about going for FET next month - I will have everything crossed for you!

Hi fish - how are you?? Any plans? X

pram I am only telling very close family and friends re the donor egg bit of the IVF, not because I am ashamed, but because I think it is information personal to my baby, who may or may not want to share that with others. It's a very personal matter though. I will be open with the baby (god willing it makes it) but then it is up to them what they do with that.

Hello to everybody else - a busy day on the thread!

Hi,
I've been quietly lurking and reading, as not felt like posting since my bfn. Feeling pretty sad. Today's post from still and all the replies has been interesting. I would agree that still, you are actually fearing the whole process, especially because you already have diabetes, which can make every day hard anyway, let alone with ivf causing more complications for you. I also suspect, your fear of going through with it and your 'gut' it won't work for you, is based somewhere not only in what your and Dh wants, but what you want for your DS? A sibling.

I have a 3 year old DS from my second cycle of ivf and have done 4 more cycles since having him. 3 BFN's and one miscarriage. I feel right now that it's all pointless and never going to work for me, but that is coming from the recent failed cycles and my fear that I may have to accept that I won't have another baby, ever. I thank the person that made their disclaimer that said they don't feel that the pain is any less for someone that already has a child, this is spot on in many ways. I didn't understand this before I'd had him, so thank you. It hurts that I am still infertile and I go through ivf and I get BFN's and no answers why. BUT, I do also realise how lucky I am for my 2nd ivf cycle to have worked and for me to have my miracle, I know that although the hurt of infertility doesn't go away and the pain of a bfn hurts as much as before, it isn't the same as before I had DS and I am eternally grateful for my luck. I often feel that WAS my luck and thee won't be anymore. If eel selfish and greedy for wanting more when so many people are struggling to have their first, I remember so well how it felt. Anyway, I'm rambling now, but just wanted to comment. Even when you have a baby through ivf, you never, ever, forget how it felt before and how hard it is for others in the same position you were in, not that long ago.

I don't feel positive thinking makes ivf work, but god it makes the whole process much more bearable. I don't always feel positive, often I feel negative, as I said, because I'm so scared of it not working and not being able to give DS a sibling so he has someone when me and Dh aren't around anymore, as we are older parents, I have no family and dh's family is tiny and his parents are old! You've got to have hope in every cycle, or what else is there? Hope is often all we have...having gone through all the procedures...the 2ww is full of hope.....

Pip, I just want to say sorry for your result today. Big hugs Hun xxx

Bollocks, sorry, euro not pip

stars Im so sorry for your recent BFN and the ones before. It can be difficult for women who have not been able to conceive one child to imagine that it can be as equally emotionally tough for women who already have one or more. I know from the ladies on these threads, and from friends in RL that this is the case though. I so hope you get your sibling for DC1.

Hello biatches! , sorry I haven't been around much lately, I feel a bit out of the loop I guess, especially with being a bit in limbo at the moment.

euro I'm really sorry to hear about your BFN, you sound a little like me in that you want to straight away make plans and are very proactive and looking to see what you can do next time to get your BFP. Sorry again.

nobeer if you're about and lurking, really sorry to hear about your BFN too.

pip sorry you're having such a crap time of it too, really feel for you.

still I know the others have given you lots of feedback, but just wanted to say that there's no way you should go through IVF at the moment if this is how you're feeling. I too believe that if you are going to do it, then you have to give it your all and believe it's going to work. I think in a way I was happy to be doing the IVF as I knew there was no chance of me getting pregnant without it, and I felt in really good hands too. For me it was very important that my clinic was small and treats relatively few women and therefore is a very personal service, but for others they may prefer a bigger clinic where they can maybe feel more detached and a little more anonymous, so maybe this would be a factor to consider too. Having had 3 cycles in a year I wouldn't turn the clock back, yes it is stressful at times, but I honestly think that it's made me a stronger person and has undoubtedly brought me and DH closer together. Sorry you're not feeling supported by your DH at the moment.

Got to go out shortly, so I'll pop on again later for a bit more of a catch up.

brooker any news on AF?

fish and wish glad you're back. wish were you starting drugs today?

Hello to everyone else , I really will catch up properly soon.

We went for a consultation at the London Women's Clinic yesterday and we've decided to go with them for our donor egg cycle. They all seemed really good there,as well as v. personable, so it feels like the right decision. The next step is to complete the form for donor's appearance, characteristics etc and then we will be on their waiting list. I am verya bit scared at the moment about the enormity of it all, but I know that there will be no baby ever if we don't do it, and that's more scary. We had our follow up appointment today at the clinic and it was sad to be leaving them, especially saying 'bye to the lovely nurses.

Sorry stars, really sorry to hear about your BFN too.

Thank you motor and choco, your understanding means a lot.

I don't want for one moment for anyone here to think that I don't realise how lucky I am and that it isn't different for me in some ways now I have DS. I completely understand why people trying so hard to get their first baby may not understand this, I really do, as I used to be one of them!

Chic, your new clinic sounds a positive step it is hard to leave a clinic with all the what it's involved, but you know when it feels right I think xx

GRRRRR ipad predictive changes! Choco, not chic

choco I love you for remembering I started the buserelin yesterday morning. It was weird going back to getting up early to do the injections again. I don't feel anything towards my FET at the moment. I'm ignoring it if I'm honest so it comes quicker.

I really admire you for deciding on the DEs. I know you're terrified but you've made a huge decision which you will be thankful for in the end. We won't be meeting in the waiting room anymore!

AFM I have been completely distracting myself with getting fit. I gained some chub during my first cycle which I've never had before so I want to get rid. I'm nearly out of my size 10s and, because I'm small framed, it looks worse than it is so.....
I'm doing the Insanity work out. Has anyone heard of it? HOLY CRAP BALLS, it'fooking hurts! But I'm loving it, it feels gooooood. I'm also doing aquafit and going for short jogs. I haven't eaten anything naughty since Monday. Anyone that knows me understands how huge it is that I haven't even sniffed chocolate!

I'm ready for my second cycle! Chooooooo

I agree I missed a lot of trouble and anxiety through not using my own eggs. It was a breeze from start to finish, but the early weeks after BFN, like euro says, were some of the most fraught of my life. This is where I suffered, because I thought my baby would be taken from me like last year.

I prepared well for the IVF to fail. I didn't feel I necessarily 'deserved' a baby or that others didn't. I prayed a lot. I remembered I had lived a life of hedonism and made some shit choices which had brought me here and that our dreams are not always fulfilled. What I did find hard was listening to ingrates who got their cycles free on the NHS and still thought the universe owed them.

Lots of women suffer badly during IVF and I've winced at the physical and emotional pain some women have gone through on here. I was able to wash my hands of a good chunk of that, I suppose, with not having to worry about my eggs. I'm really wishing for more BFPs on here, but most of all strength for everyone, in whatever measure you need it.

*Sorry, I meant BFP, obvs. Also, I have missed a whole page of posts so will go back and read..