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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Whether icing, twotting, or in need of a dip in the pity paddling pool, come stroke the friendly orange cave unicorn with us. (Chocolate pretzels are on the house). It's JUST SHAGGING THREAD 17!

999 replies

EssieSaysRelax · 26/07/2013 22:14

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce Envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 16 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

OP posts:
Alohomora · 30/07/2013 14:55

Cum, PB & Jelly sammich! Even better is Ob & Banana. I have EWCM, think AF is due tomorrow, so may join you in the banquet!

Alohomora · 30/07/2013 14:56

Yum! I meant to type Yum!

Had the German spellchecker in from sending a text to
my Mom, wtf?!

DownstairsMixUp · 30/07/2013 15:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

clareyfarey · 30/07/2013 16:18

How is everyone? Hope that horrible witch AF hasn't ruined anyone's day.

I am due today. No cramps, just a weird very slight ache. Or is there? Or am I just being mental?

Not sure if to test, or face yet more disappointment at BFN tomorrow.

This is such pants!

Sozzers for the mini rant Grin

Xx

frogchops · 30/07/2013 18:26

I'm sure I read it here but if not I apologise for this random info!

You can buy flipz in tesco ;) saw them with my own eyes!

DulcetMoans · 30/07/2013 18:58

You did read it here frog. Flipz - yay!

Glad dr took you seriously downstairs, an understanding doctor goes a long way to helping I think. My dr is a bit dismissive. Only seen her four times over five years but she always makes me feel silly!

DownstairsMixUp · 30/07/2013 19:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

pizzaqueen · 30/07/2013 19:36

my doctor is a complete moron. I must change doctors soon, is it easy to do?

when my ds was ten months old he was very poorly and covered in a rash so I took him to docs (as you do) he looked at him and said dismissively 'yes its measles, cant do anything for it, take him home and wait for it to get better' we were in his room three mins!! fair enough he can't do anythings for it but no advice on what to do if it gets worse etc. scared first time parents, measles can be very serious.

but a few weeks ago really took the biscuit, two days post miscarriage I went to ask for a letter for work and he said 'why are you bothering me with this the hospital should have given you one' Sad and sighed and wrote me a sick line and said to ho the hospital with any preg issues not him.

so I really don't want to go to him again especially anything ttc related I just don't think it'll be taken seriously.

Curly86 · 30/07/2013 19:38

dulcet I know what you mean about relation with 7 kids, my SIL is now pregnant with baby no 5! She pops them out willy nilly every 18months :-/ however have made myself feel better by convincing myself they will only end up on a Channel 4 documentary!

The 19 yr old girl at work also has now flaunted her fertility today by announcing she's pregnant accidentally while on the pill :-( which was followed up by everyone else in the office saying oh and we thought it woul be you next!

Therefore I am joining the pity party with a LARGE glass of wine and a box of coco pops! And I'm not even using a bowl just a spoon in the box

clareyfarey · 30/07/2013 19:50

My next door neighbour is 27, and is expecting number 5! She seems to sneeze and get up the spout.

A close friend of mine had a baby last Sunday, and she had no idea she was pregnant, until she went to hospital with stomach cramps!

Mental

DownstairsMixUp · 30/07/2013 19:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

pizzaqueen · 30/07/2013 20:16

thanks downstairs I will change gp. he's not that old, late thirties maybe, just an insensitive arse.

and I was one of those annoying 'oops pregnant on the pill' people with ds. I was 21 and in my final year of uniBlush only saving grace was I'd been with dp for nearly 5 years. but second time round its not been such an easy road for us. now we have the mortgage, job, cars, degree and living sensible lives it's not happening quite so easily.Hmm funny think our reproductive systems!

Curly86 · 30/07/2013 20:19

downstairs I had the greeneyed monster BIG time and then felt guilty as I heard myself wishing her baby to be really ugly! However it won't be because she's gorgeous and I can already tell she will be back in her size 6 jeans hours after giving birth Envy

clareyfarey my SIL has already vowed to keep going until she gets a girl! How greedy!

frogchops · 30/07/2013 20:22

Flipz are in the 'world food' bit Wink
New girl at work said today tht she didn't find out she was upduffe til 32 weeks. I'm 32 weeks and massive and puffy and moany.... How the hell she did that I'll never know!

ChocChaffinch · 30/07/2013 20:23

yy peanuts now OK

the UK realised that avoiding peanuts during pg = loads babies with peanut intolerance

then they looked at many European countries, ie Turkey, where pregnant mums eat peanuts and very few babies have a peanut allergy

so now they say no rare steak? is medium rare OK?

Curly86 · 30/07/2013 20:25

pizza it's just luck of the draw I guess I'm pleased for her and oops pregnant on the pill is not bad at all she's been with her partner ages too so guess its meant to be when it happens like that :-)

Alohomora · 30/07/2013 22:09

curly Do you pour the wine over the Coco Pops? BTW, statistically you're more likely to continue having boys after no. 3 so she might end up with a football team and still no girls!

Oooh, didn't know you could get Flipz in the UK! Sometimes the Polish isles has things that I miss from German supermarkets, though.

When my mom was being induced with me she was put on the ward and given pate for dinner. Didn't get to enjoy it for long, labour started with a vengeance when all the moms on the ward got their babies for the evening feed (it came all back up).

fifi669 · 30/07/2013 22:50

choc you can't have medium rare either. Everything has to be properly cooked, no runny yolks etc. pretty sure it's been that way for donkeys

Alohomora · 30/07/2013 23:14

Oh, and I'm pretty sure you can ask to be tested for listeria, and if you have antibodies you are free to enjoy rare steak and blue cheese for as long and as much as you want.

Good blog on the subject

Nessalina · 31/07/2013 00:59

Hello you lot Smile Bad luck on the ERTD arriving Essie & Downstairs - sorry if I missed others, just did a quick scan!
I'm having husband-related rage - it's the most fertile point of the month and he 'just doesn't feel like it tonite'. Confused Well, quite frankly, that's not flippin' good enough!! I think this may be karma for using contraband... Honestly, I pee on this stupid little sticks twice a day for a week, but a positive's no good without the addition of sperm is it?! goes to throw the OPKs down the toilet and get back to just shagging Hmm

DulcetMoans · 31/07/2013 07:36

Oh nessa, think we have all been there. Sometimes even with tears! I try tell myself I need happy sperms so he needs to be happy but it doesn't really work. I don't want to do it all the time either but we have to in order to get what we want!

Most of that side of my family belong on a channel 4 documentary curly, or Jeremy Kyle! They obviously got all the fertility though!

Still waiting here... Two days late...

lil1ady · 31/07/2013 07:58

not due ertd til Saturday but caved and piapc this morning. BFN Sad

cookielove · 31/07/2013 07:59

dulcet when you testing?

DownstairsMixUp · 31/07/2013 08:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Curly86 · 31/07/2013 08:18

aloho can't poor the wine over the coco pops that would be yucky! It 2 big spoons of dry coco pops followed by 2 big gulps of vino :-)

nessa I feel you, OH has attempted something similar this month pretending to be asleep, guess its karma for me for all those years I claimed to have a headache!

dulcet you right about not wanting to do it all the time, its been too bloody hot the last couple of weeks sometimes can't help but think just hurry up and finish already! Then I can do a handstand and you can leave me alone for abit!