I'm ready for a flaming but just spent the last few hours sobbing and I need to talk.

[internationallove985]

I have decided not to name change here for the simple reason you will know it's me by my post and if you're going to flame me or say "Well I told you so", it may as well be the real me. I have posted here rather chat because I have opened up to more people on the conceptions threads.

Most of you know my situation for those that don't I have been sleeping with a guy for the past 2 months in the hopes of getting pregnant. I usual see him on Wednesday day time and Fri evening but I couldn't see him today so we arranged to see each other tonight... Anyway he got to mine for about 9.30.
We went straight upstairs. Sorry if what I say next is T.M.I but I gave him oral and yes rightly or wrongly expected it back but just as he was about to cum he pushed me down on the bed and dtd (with no foreplay) and came in less than a minute got up got dressed and said "I'm going now". I feel so used. I might as well be honest it felt a bit uncomfortable and I bled a little. The only time I've ever bled after sex is when I lsot my virginity.
I know I've been allowing myself to get used. I have never felt emotive after sex but I have just spent the past few hours sobbing. I'm in no way trying to cry rape as that was not the case at all, not once did I struggle or say no, but a little consideration would not have gone a miss. I just couldn't believe the change in him.
He is going away tommorow for a few weeks which now I am glad about as it will give me time to think. I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew how he'd made me feel, do I tell him I feel used or do I just put it down to a quickie and rough sex. xx

juicy yes, you do have that right
to publicly show you are ill-informed and lacking in any human empathy
you have succeeded

Like I said juicyfatrump where did I say I was a victim. Nowhere! x

International I hope you have a very good support network around you because if you fall pregnant and things do not go to plan it will be extremely difficult as a totally single parent. I'm not saying people don't cope, because they do, but to willingly put yourself in that situation, well I think you're crazy. For example, with myds I had undiagnosed placenta previa which wasn't discovered until the c section itself. I lost 3 litres of blood, had 3 blood transfusions and spent 2 weeks in hospital. My pregnancy was completely healthy and normal until that point, no symptoms or bleeding at all. How would you cope if that were you? What would happen to your dc?

I don't think you've really thought everything through at all.

She has said many times that she does not consider that she was raped. She cant stop others saying it.

I was not raped and nowhere did I say I was. x

International : If you are truly desperate for a baby and don't care who or where it comes from, as you put it, why do you even need to know who the father is??? You said yourself you probably wouldn't tell him and you wouldn't ask for financial support from him... So why do you need to know who it is?

lots of people accept behaviour as 'normal' when it is, in fact, rape. Many women continue sexual relationships with men who raped them.
Suggesting otherwise only shows lack of understanding of this subject.

Itstartshere you're right

Raraz because the least my future baby deserves is to know is his/her daddy's name. x

And thanks for re-iterating that you were NOT raped or abused. I hope people can finally get their heads around that - not your fault, International , but this thread seems to have turned into a witch-hunt against men... I worry about the possible consequences of convincing women that rough sex/sex not in the manner hoped for/bad sex/sex without adequate foreplay/etc constitutes rape. If women start going to the police about this sort of incident and claiming rape, innocent lives could be destroyed. Rape is a lot more than just rough sex. Had the OP said 'no' or pushed her FWB away, cried/cried out with pain, asked him to be gentle and been ignored/etc, THEN it would be rape.

International : Even when they're most likely never going to meet their father? You're just going to leave it as "Your dad's called Mike [had to call him something]. I never told him I wanted a baby with him and he knows nothing about you. He probably wouldn't care if he did because he thought we were just having casual sex. But there you are, his name's Mike."

"as long as I get him/her."

What a terrible way to approach parenthood.

I ask again, OP, do you already have a child?

Yes, I posted before I read to the end.

OP, seriously, get yourself some professional help.

People only get professional help if they believe they need it....

Trouble is here that she says yes though, doesnt she.
And in between, as she says she didnt say no.
And people dont necessarily keep saying yes as they go along do they.

The reality is that she is probably going to say yes again, initially anyway.
And no one on here, myself included has managed to persuade her against it.
What the op really needs is love. Enough love in her life, that she doesnt carry on doing what she is doing.

Because her desire to be loved by a new child literally does trump everything else.

international, he has gone away for a few weeks, so it does give you time to think.

Gosh. If you see her on other threads, you will see how she comes across.
I could be wrong, but I dont think so.

miss strawberry
OP is already a single mum, she said so on the other thread

Hang on
Are my eyes deceiving me.
A post of JuliScurr's with a link, has completely disappeared.