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I'm ready for a flaming but just spent the last few hours sobbing and I need to talk.

2 replies

internationallove985 · 18/07/2013 00:10

I have decided not to name change here for the simple reason you will know it's me by my post and if you're going to flame me or say "Well I told you so", it may as well be the real me. I have posted here rather chat because I have opened up to more people on the conceptions threads.

Most of you know my situation for those that don't I have been sleeping with a guy for the past 2 months in the hopes of getting pregnant. I usual see him on Wednesday day time and Fri evening but I couldn't see him today so we arranged to see each other tonight... Anyway he got to mine for about 9.30.
We went straight upstairs. Sorry if what I say next is T.M.I but I gave him oral and yes rightly or wrongly expected it back but just as he was about to cum he pushed me down on the bed and dtd (with no foreplay) and came in less than a minute got up got dressed and said "I'm going now". I feel so used. I might as well be honest it felt a bit uncomfortable and I bled a little. The only time I've ever bled after sex is when I lsot my virginity.
I know I've been allowing myself to get used. I have never felt emotive after sex but I have just spent the past few hours sobbing. I'm in no way trying to cry rape as that was not the case at all, not once did I struggle or say no, but a little consideration would not have gone a miss. I just couldn't believe the change in him.
He is going away tommorow for a few weeks which now I am glad about as it will give me time to think. I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew how he'd made me feel, do I tell him I feel used or do I just put it down to a quickie and rough sex. xx

RowanMumsnet · 21/07/2013 16:10

Hello

We like to think of Mumsnet as a place where our users can conduct robust debates about even difficult topics - so long as it's all done within our Guidelines.

As many of you will know, on threads like these we do ask people to take a look at our We Believe You page on rape myths.

We think that it's quite possible for some genuine posters to post rape myths out of ignorance and incomplete understanding - and we won't necessarily remove those posts.

We will, however, remove posts that we think are purely inflammatory in intention, or that we believe are deliberately re-stating rape myths despite other posters' efforts to inform.

We may also remove posts by previously banned trolls.

Thanks
MNHQ

KateSMumsnet · 25/07/2013 12:30

@fifi669

It's not! Stop dramatising! They were engaging in sexual activity, she expected a bit of attention back but he skipped that and went to sex. She felt used because of this. That's all. OP is not scared of him. She did not say or suggest in any way that the activity was going in a way she didn't want. It's not normal to ask for permission between sexual activities, it's natural to progress. I know what sexual assault/rape is, I've read MNHQ WBY. This isn't relevant.

It was a mutually beneficial arrangement, with obvious lack of communication. It's car crash stuff, but it's her business.

OP says.... And I'll point this out again. She was not raped or sexually assaulted. She is not scared if him, he's not violent.

We're glad to see you read WBY, fifi669.

We'd just like to point out that your points about initial consent, violence and being scared are, we think, very relevant. Please have another look at our rape myths busted page

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