I'm ready for a flaming but just spent the last few hours sobbing and I need to talk.

[internationallove985]

I have decided not to name change here for the simple reason you will know it's me by my post and if you're going to flame me or say "Well I told you so", it may as well be the real me. I have posted here rather chat because I have opened up to more people on the conceptions threads.

Most of you know my situation for those that don't I have been sleeping with a guy for the past 2 months in the hopes of getting pregnant. I usual see him on Wednesday day time and Fri evening but I couldn't see him today so we arranged to see each other tonight... Anyway he got to mine for about 9.30.
We went straight upstairs. Sorry if what I say next is T.M.I but I gave him oral and yes rightly or wrongly expected it back but just as he was about to cum he pushed me down on the bed and dtd (with no foreplay) and came in less than a minute got up got dressed and said "I'm going now". I feel so used. I might as well be honest it felt a bit uncomfortable and I bled a little. The only time I've ever bled after sex is when I lsot my virginity.
I know I've been allowing myself to get used. I have never felt emotive after sex but I have just spent the past few hours sobbing. I'm in no way trying to cry rape as that was not the case at all, not once did I struggle or say no, but a little consideration would not have gone a miss. I just couldn't believe the change in him.
He is going away tommorow for a few weeks which now I am glad about as it will give me time to think. I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew how he'd made me feel, do I tell him I feel used or do I just put it down to a quickie and rough sex. xx

[internationallove985]

Branleuse. I did not say I was raped. Like I said I do not mind getting flamed but not over something I did not say or even imply. x
RaRaz. I was still bleeding yesterday but only slightly. I wore a pad yesterday but as bleeding now stopped I don't need one today. Although I am still a bit sore. x

[Fairylea]

Ok just ignore my post then......

[MissStrawberry]

So what you are going to do now about this whole situation?

[amessageforyouYoni]

There is a lot going on here, OP. You sound like you are going through some sort of manic episode, to be honest, and I think you need to take a step back from what is going on in your life right now and really take stock. Is counselling an option for you?

If you really want a baby, there are better ways to go about it than this. That is what I was trying to say up thread.

This guy sounds like a bastard of the highest order. he is using and abusing you. This is the man you want as a father for your child? Wouldn't an anonymous sperm donor be better? In all honesty?

[internationallove985]

Hi Fairylea thank you for your support. x
Missstrawberry. The honest answer is I don't know what I'm going to, but at the moment rightly or wrongly I don't care if I never see him again, I am as deserving of sex with a loving partner than any other women, and the right guy is out there somewhere! Although I think the mold was broke they made me. I've was told by my friend that I don't really match up with anyone but then I don't suppose there's anything wrong with being unique. My desperation for a baby still continues and if I am not pregnant from this cycle I suppose I can go to a sperm donor or even adopt a child.
However when he gets back from his holiday weakness may get the better of me, but I hope not. I also feel I am being a bit unreasonable as well as some would say it was only rough sex not a crime but he's never been rough with me like that before, but I did feel used and I can't help how I feel but perhaps it was karma because like I said we are using each other. x

[coffeewineandchocolate]

I think it's a case of 'you reap what you sow". the type of arrangement you have will never be emotionally (and probably not physically) satisfying. Your fwb has no emotional interests in you and tbh didn't sound like the nicest guy in the world.

I get that you want to have a baby, but do you really think the type of guy who treats you like this is going to make a good father.

being brutally honest it doesn't sound like you are in the right emotional headspace to be a mother at the moment. Having a baby is a massive thing physically but probably more so mentally. To do it alone, even more so. To place yourself in this sort of situation shows immaturityand lack of foresight at best and more seriously massive self esteem issues and vulnerability.

[internationallove985]

Coffeewineandchocolate. I already do I dare say I already a proud independent single mum. x

[ZingWidge]

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[coffeewineandchocolate]

thanks tsc I was trying to form a response that wasn't immediately deleted...

[MrsHoarder]

Op you don't get to choose if the father is involved this way. If he's a positive influence or someone who undermines you, comes and goes and makes your DC feel insecure. So if you know he's a bit of an arse its a good idea not to have children with him.

There are other men, or there is using proper sperm donation.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Your poor child.

[internationallove985]

Juicy fat steak. How have you came to than conclusion! and you call me a troll!!! x

[internationallove985]

Also can I ask what HTH means? x

[yamsareyammy]

OP. You are using him, and he is using you.
You have both decided to leave love out of it all.

"I am as deserving of sex with a loving partner than as any other woman" is what you wrote.
But I didnt think this had anything to do with love for you?
So it does really?
How interesting. Are you being really honest with yourself? That deep down, this did all involve love for you?

[yamsareyammy]

hth means "hope that helps".

[yamsareyammy]

I ahve always thought that fwb means just that to a man, but does involve feelings on the woman's part.

[Snazzyenjoyingsummer]

Can I ask, OP - because I haven't read your other threads - have you agreed on whether he will be named as the father if a baby is conceived, financially support you etc? Or is the deal that he supplies the sperm and once conception happens, he walks away, no more involvement?

I can understand why you would feel upset after the experience you describe, and those are your feelings and perfectly valid ones.

[yamsareyammy]

He walks away, unless he wants to be involved, is the unspoken deal Snazzy.Well, hardly a deal, as he doesnt know he is being used in this way.

It is quite clear that this lady is ill, but it doesnt mean that she shouldn't hope for support when things go badly wrong.

[bonkersLFDT20]

PedantMarina The news article states "and ignored the woman's demand that he not ejaculate."

So, she withdrew her consent. Different to what the OP is talking about.