Young woman, what are you doing to me? JUST SHAGGING for my bfp, theres no need to say it, we are poas, THREAD NUMBER 16!!!!!

[cookielove]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 14 is here

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

pizzaqueen so sorry to hear about your loss!
it is heartbreaking to loose a child at any stage
(hugs & )

did you have an ERPC?
Let's hope you'll get your AF soon!

quark with my DS2 I was 3 weeks late when I had my 1st BFP!

I know the day he was conceived - I expected AF the next day, but I happened to ov very late that month, so here he is, 10 tomorrow!

so who knows? fingers crossed!

So sorry to hear PizzaQueen, but really pleased your body is getting itself ready to try again. FX for sticky beans all round.

That sounds bloody amazing Essie! I would defo have taken my trophy to my review and plonked it I between me & boss as a physical statement of my fabulosity.
I would also like to know what a BESH is please!

Wow this forum moves fast! I'm off away for the weekend, going to do my best to avoid the wine as ERTD was due today, but we'll see if I manage to resist!

Fx for anyone poas over the weekend!

Roodles -FX!
I shall have a for you and all the other abstainers on the fred tonight as I'm post ERT and out on the town! It's been a while.

Anyone else out on the razzle?! What you wearing?

thanks zing, I didn't get the choice of an erpc I just mc naturally after a scan where they couldn't be sure whether baby was growing I thought I was 9 weeks but baby mustve died around 6 weeks.

good luck to all those poas ers over the weekend. as im not officially ttc yet I would join you but im trying to lose weight and cant afford the extra calories!

I mean join you on the wine the heat is getting to me!

Hi everyone. wanted to post earlier but my phone app kept crashing. again. does anyone else have that sometimes? I apologise if I get ppls posts mixed up as I read them all 5hrs ago nearly!

anyway. firstly bear I would just like to echo everyone else's thoughts. I feel so lucky to have found a group of people so lovely to share my ups and downs with on this TTC rollercoaster. we are all here for each other no matter how bad it gets.

Essie I felt quite down the other week and dh only ever says It'll happen or maybe next time. we ended up having a bit of a row but once I explained how much more it is to take on for me because I'm the one symptom spotting and worrying about when I ovulate etc etc and how that makes me feel under more pressure he started to get it. maybe you guys need to talk ? but I'm pretty sure immaculate conception is going to take longer.

sorry to hear about your mc pizza and I too am "glad" for you and your bfn. (Essie Ur right glad seems an odd word but the only one)

Lol at Ur joke zing .. I'm now off to find out how to get my pm!

Wow, went away for a few nights and this fred is mad busy!!!

Pizza I had a missed miscarriage in April at 12 week scan, now 6+3 with new baby (fingers, toes and eyes tightly crossed that everything works out ok this time) so was only 2 months this time to conceive, far less than it took with lost baby. Apparently you're super fertile for 6 months following a miscarriage. Glad you got your BFN, it felt horribly real for me at that stage but also felt like closure.

Roodles I didn't cut down on drinking while TTC - it's 5 weeks anyway until the baby starts getting nutrients from what you consume by which time chances are you know you're upduffed!

Red glad you've booked the appointment, let us all know how you get on.

Cookie looks like a positive opk to me, so if you're SMEP-ing you need to don the cape the next 3 days, one day off, then one day on again. I did it slightly differently as I got +ives for 3 days so I dtd each day I had a positive, then 3 days after too. Poor DH was shattered but it worked :)

Bear don't ever feel like you can't offload on here when you're stressed about it - that's the whole point in coming on these threads - a hug when you need it, a HOOYA when you push it too far (joking)

Hi to everyone else, congratulations Comms on the BFP!!

thanks rockchick, I feel like I have had lots of time to grieve and the bfn is closure, I'll do one again in a few days to make sure. sorry to hear about your mc but so happy to hear you are upduffed again!

I have a 2 year old and ive just appreciated him so much this last month I feel truly blessed to have him but would love to give him a sibling if we can. I'm 24 so hoping I have age on my side at least

pizza you are a very young chick indeed, you have plenty of time!
I had DS1 a month before my 27th birthday!

Pizzaqueen - I'm really sorry about your MC. I'm really hoping the next one is a sticky bean for you. I hope you're okay and now, as others have said, you can hopefully move forwards. I'm glad you feel like you're getting there. xxx

Essie and whoever else asked (sorry I can't remember who and I'm on the wrong page now!) BESH stands for 'Barren, Evil, Selfish, Hags' in a completely ironic way obviously although the barren, perhaps not so ironic It's directed towards all those folks and I guess the media who blame us all for apparently wanting it all and leaving TTC too late and focusing on our careers, or ourselves, etc. The thread intro. explains it much better than I do. Most ladies on there are 30+ I think and in the nose-diving fertility club. Allegedly. Despite sounding scary, they are raucously funny and lots of them are stoically going through IVF and other treatments, and have been TTC for at least a couple of years. They're a lovely bunch, should anyone want to join. It's difficult spreading myself across 3 threads though (I'm on another, less frequently used one too!)

Thanks Zing for the words of wisdom and the joke. I think we do have proper ishoos though, so unless there is some kind of miracle, I don't think it's going to happen naturally. I gave up my job in the hope that I could de-stress and thought that that would work. It clearly didn't. So, we'll just have to see what they say at the appointment. Thanks for the cheering on and up though - it makes all the difference.

Well done on the review Essie! It sounds like you definitely deserve it! I, for one, am so glad for people like you. I am a teacher, so I know how difficult it can be walking into a classroom full of teenagers and trying to inspire and motivate them. It's so good that you give up some of your time to do that. Have another award from me.

Bear it seems ridiculous but giving up seems to work! My DS was conceived when I decided I couldn't have any and took home tests to see if I could, my bestie had tried for a year, had tests at the docs conceived straight after. Another friend told me she'd been trying over 18 months. I told her to just shout out loud, I give up! I said it would trick her body.... Now 14 weeks gone. Worth a shout!

I read earlier about old wives tales for conceiving boys... On the dm website I saw that one was to conceive girls up your dairy and carbs, lower protein and go missionary. Lie prone for an hour post dtd.....

Thanks for the advice Fifi. I've tried everything else, so maybe it wouldn't hurt. But the problem is, I could say it, but I don't really believe it . . . it's almost impossible to give up on something you want so much because that means acknowledging a life without children and a life without your own genetic imprint on the world. I know you meant it more lightheartedly than I'm taking it, (bless you) and I do appreciate the suggestion, and I'll probably even try it, but I guess I'm saying I'm not ready to give up yet.

Hope that doesn't sound rude Fifi. x

Just counted properly on my fingers (!) and we're on cycle 24, not 22, as I previously thought and wrote! How did that happen? Clearly my lack of numeracy skills Although it does mean we'll be that much closer to IVF, should we need it. They want you to have tried naturally for 3 years I believe before they'll do anything.

No it sounded fine Bear I certainly hadn't given up and never had they. It was just a way of having a bit if a pity party and letting it out.

I think I agree with fifi

when life gets too much and I get too stressed or tired I say I give up, I can't do this anymore. probably every day.
of course I don't really mean it, but even if I brake down in tears from being so frustrated, that feeling of hitting rock bottom is so liberating somehow!
it's like getting a new surge of energy to get up again, try harder - coz the only way is up!

so no, of course don't give up, but it is ok to admit you've had enough - for now.
you see what I mean?

( I'm a Christian, so I believe that when you are down God will lift you up. not meaning to preach though )

when is your appointment?

Bear when did you first contact the doctor about problems conceiving? Generally they say you should first approach after a year of trying or 6 months if over 30 (or 35 one if those). Anyway the IVF guidelines have changed to 2 years of TTC naturally. One of which can be before you've seen a doctor....

www.nice.org.uk/newsroom/pressreleases/UpdatedGuidelinesReviseFertilityTreatment.jsp

Yes, I see what you're saying now Fifi and Zing. I guess 'give up' isn't part of my vocabulary. I'm just that sort of person! Maybe I'll hit the bottom after the appointment, but I feel like I've got quite deep reserves, which could be a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it. I'll see what I can do!

Fifi - I actually casually mentioned an abnormally long period to the doctor when I went in for something else and she put in a referral there and then. That was in October 2012, so we've been in the system since then. We started TTC August 2011, but I've looked on my local hospital's rules and they say 3 years. (Thanks for the link - useful to have. I might print it out.) From what I can tell, most hospitals and PCTs seem to use guidance as just that, 'guidance' and set their own rules, but maybe I'm jumping the gun. Worst case scenario, we'll have to wait until the 3 years is up, which is next August. I'll be 35 by then.

Zing - I sometimes think about 'Footprints' and it does help.

Bear possibly post code lottery going on there? Worth investigating areas near you to see their guidelines. You're now allowed to choose the hospital you're treated at......

Jeez you have all moved quick today!

Congrats on the award and review essie. You deserve a treat for that!

I don't know much about IVF but the waiting must be the hardest bit. Hope you get some support and answers soon.

Wow, it's taken me an hour to read through yesterday's happenings.
Essie Congrats on the award and positive work review. You sound like a very inspiring person. Mad props.
Bear Look at your nearby NHS trust policies and ask to be referred to one that has the two year policy. Can't remember who said it (sorry!) but yes, you can choose where you want to be treated.

Still no ERTD here so 4 days late. Resisting the urge to test.

Hello all

Congratulations essie very nice!!

Bah dh was away last night so we couldn't dtd. Hopefully he'll be back later!!!

Off to a baby shower today. Still haven't got a gift!!

Whoops forgot to say ANDIE POAS!! Yes I mean to shout!!