FAO all BESH - SNF for those who frequently CBATM and occasionally SADAW after G&T. LOLs and BD will not be tolerated. IDs will WTP.

[CaptainMoll]

AYBESAAH? DYHIDWAP? DBDMYV? CYLTEPPC? DYLG? TTITFFY!

Anyone who can correctly translate the above messages wins a baybee.

(Or at the very least, the respect of the BESH).

[Bearface]

'Easily enough'? That took some finding (again, could be my declining vision and stoopidity). Phew - I got it though. Right, here we go:

BESHtionnaire:

1. Do you like gin?
   I don't mind the odd gin here and there.
   
   
2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Cradle-snatcher by about three months
   
   
3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   c) foofoo
   
   
   
4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   
   
   
5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   Never really considered it and not sure if this has some underlying story, but I'm guessing that the correct answer is b) source of all evil
   
   
6. Number of pets?
   Zero, and, I've never had one. So I REALLY need a baybee to compensate for all my lost years of having nothing to love ('cept DH and he doesn't count).
   
   
7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   Benedict Cumberbatch. I saw his donger when he was in Frankenstein at The National Theatre.
   
   
8. Lesbian crush?
   Emile Sande? Will she do?
   
   
9. What are your views on camping?
   Bloody hate it. Every time I've ever gone camping I've come back with the 'flu. Went camping during a hurricane once and you could call it a bad experience. I subsequently like four walls and creature comforts.
   
   
10. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    iii) I opened an account on ebay Amazon solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks. I buy 50 at a time, but get through them fairly quickly.
    
    Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.
    I am on other fred, but felt the time was ripe for mixing it up a bit and I am also a miserable, embittered sod about making a baybee, so felt I would find good company here.
    
    The End.

[EuroShaggleton]

norf I feel that waiting to feel ready helped me to manage a stressful process. But the wedding timing does complicate things a bit. How long would you have to delay things if you don't go for it next cycle? Would you feel ok being a pregnant bride if you put off the cycle so that if it worked you would be preggo over your wedding date?

Most clinics offer a free counselling session. Might that help?

Fresh blood?

[EuroShaggleton]

Oh god. There's going to be a BESH frenzy. The newbie has seen Cumberbatch's dinkle.

[Northey]

Very much liking "nebulous intangibles" as a phrase.

[Northey]

Somehow "nebulous intangibles" follows on perfectly from Cumberbatch's dinkle. I know not why.

[Bearface]

I think donger is more appropriate Euro, but you choose your name for it. Like I said, I've never had a pet.

[SinkyMalinks]

Ahem.



Alright hags. I've missed the acronyms, fish based ABH and nekked dancing.

Remember folks, NGECFAWT

(or something)


And

Fresh blood. Naice beshtionnaire Ursusfeatures. But you won't win Besh approval with the Batch as an inappropriate. He's v much appropriate round these ways.

Think Jean luc Picard or Jeremy Clarkson...

[Bearface]

Going to have to re-lurk on that note as I need to feed.

[Northey]

I'd have no problems with being a pregnant bride. My worry is more that it won't work and I'll be in another miserable pit sort of situation from despair. Or that it will work and something will go wrong just before wedding and I'll be in the miserable pit situation from that. Basically I think that what I'm scared of is depression.

[Bearface]

Jeremy Clarkson? Never.

Okay. Let's see who else I can think of.

[JethroTull]

You saw his PENIS???!!! In the flesh?!?? More details pliz. Right away.

[JethroTull]

norf how would you feel if you didn't start the cycle next week?

[SinkyMalinks]

Norf, the wedding is still a year away. If you skip this cycle, would you not have time to try and deal with the outcome?

There's no reason to think that a pregnancy would be higher risk than any other, right?

Or do you think you need a break?

[Bearface]

Oh yes - it flopped around all over the place for about the first 15 mins. I saw THE LOT and I wasn't even in the lower part of the audience where you're eye-level with the stage.

I really need to feed, but can't think of an inappropriate crush. I don't think I have one.

[Bearface]

Jethro - I think we can say it was fairly sizeable.

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

You get my vote Bear, for your Cumberbaych story if nothing else. I saw Frankenstein too, but it was the cinema broadcast so he was wearing a loin cloth

[evilgiraffe]

Oh yeah, I forgot The Batch was nekkid in Frankenstein. It must take a fair level of self confidence to do that. But my god, he's not shameful AT ALL!

Neither is Patrick Stewart! I do love how Jezza is the benchmark for shamefulness, though

Norf, a month or two will make very little difference at this juncture. Take the time to get used to the idea - better to go in with a deep breath a bit later than to go ASAP while struggling under the strain.

[Bearface]

Oh cheers. Still haven't thought of an alternative at all though. Hmmm.

[evilgiraffe]

How about turning it round, and naming a non-shameful crush? I mean, if The Batch is at the bottom of the heap, the mind boggles as to who might be on top...

[TWinklyLittleStar]

I love Patrick Stewart. Sod the haterz .

sinks!!! Jolly good to see you old chap.

[HadALittleFaithBaby]

Ooh a newbie who has seen a nekkid cumbersnatch! you sound good to me.

norf my beauty I don't think you're in the right mind set for the AC right now. If you're wobbly now it'll be even tougher with all the new hormones being introduced etc. The frosties will keep for a bit as has been said. Ring them and explain. Focus on the new job for a few weeks. Could you provisonally go for the next cycle?
Congrats on the job by the way, the tights didn't put them off then?!

[HadALittleFaithBaby]

Oh and I am Luffing Sherlock but I don't fancy the Batch myself...

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

He gets naked quite a bit to be fair:

Sherlock
Frankenstein
To The Ends Of The Earth
Star Trek, etc

[Bearface]

Oh, oh, does Hugh Jackman count for the bottom end of the scale or is he considered appropriate? I also quite like Michael Buble and you have to admit that he is a bit naff.

For the top, I think Gerard Butler!

[Northey]

My tights were a dream, *faithicle!