TRC 10+ months. Part 15...

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers. 14 was awesome so another like that please!

Nelly - I am really really gutted for you. I had hoped it was just a bad stick test. As others have said, ivf is a numbers game although I know that probably doesn?t help right now. I?m really sorry it didn?t work for you. It?s so damm unfair! It?s completely natural to be angry. I feel angry for all of us on here that this journey to get a baby is so bloody hard especially when there are so many unfit people who get preggers at a drop of a hat! None of it is fair . In the meantime, I hope MrN and you take care of one another. Have a cry if it helps. Big hugs to you.

Mrsd ? Im really sorry it didn?t work for you. It?s just so unfair. Im sorry you are feeling so awful but it is completely natural. I completely agree that it?s better to be in love with your hubby than 10 kids and in a bad marriage. I think long term ttc has brought me & mrsea closer together. I know how lucky I am to have him in my life. I?m the same as you re spotting. Docs are never interested in these details. The woo doctors are the only ones who care about weirdness in periods I find.

Mad ? well done resisting testing. When is your OTD?

Euro- Scary about the burglaries near you. I know how distressing it is. I was burgled 2 years ago and I missed the thief by only 10 minutes according to our CCTV outside. The buggar came back 1 week later to rob a neighbour?s place and luckily our porter recognised him and he was arrested. The shocking thing is that he was under 18 and despite being a repeat offender, he was not jailed and only had to wear an electronic tag for a few months. Someone tried to break into my mum?s house last week when she was alone asleep upstairs, luckily her neighbour called the police. It is very worrying though. Make sure you double lock all your doors all the time. Most thieves are opportunistic so we have to make it difficult for them. The police who came after I was burgled showed me how easy it is to open a door that hasn?t been double locked - a 5 minute job. Shocking!

Critter ? hope you are feeling okay. Fingers crossed embies are bedding in nice and snug. When is OTD for you?

Joy ? I am sorry your cycle is playing silly buggars. I?m sure it will just take a bit of time to regulate it. I know it?s expensive but maybe acu can help. Although it?s not been any good at getting us up diffed, I think acu is good for making periods go back to normal. Maybe it?s worth a try. As for your follow up appointment, Im angry on your behalf that they didn?t prepare for your questions or have your erpc results. They can be so disorganised. Im sorry it wasn?t enlightening and that egg quality seems to be the issue. . It?s so horribly unfair when it?s nothing you can do. A big hug and hand hold to you. What do you plan to do next? ICSI? Will you be sticking to the same clinic or elsewhere?

Buzzy ? Enjoy Prague? a lovely city. Sorry about the steroid side effects.

AFM, I got some pretty bad news today. My TB test which the clinic asked me to do before going on the humira to lower my cytokine levels came back positive. It seems I have latent TB. I just don?t know how the hell I got this!!!!!! I knew something was wrong when they left me 2 phone messages but didn?t say that the results are okay. I?m at a lost as to what I should do. I can?t go on humria without getting the TB treated which will take up to 3 months, that together with the humria treatment means I won?t do ivf until the end of the year if I am lucky. I am contemplating not bothering with the immune ivf and just insisting on doing the ivf without all the immune stuff but I am not sure I can do it at this clinic. I am just at a loss as to what I should do. I?m actually tearful thinking about this. I think it?s PMT as I am due any day now.

Love to everyone I have missed ? lemon, sar, gin, Ramona, sweet, rabbit.

joy - x post. I was asking about your next step and if you would be sticking to the same clinic. It's so shit that we have to go through all this and pay for it as well, even though I know we are lucky in the 1st place to be in a position to pay for treatment. I feel for those who don't have to option of even going privately for treatment. As good as the nhs is in this country the wait is just too long and with ivf time is often of the essence.

I know exactly what you mean about when people say it's nature's way... someone said to me the other day they didn't understand why people have ivf and infertiles should just live with it and it was probably just natural selection!!!! (they didn't know about my ac or that I am looking to do ivf). I was so angry but didn't say anything back - just glaring at them with hate! Not very yogic at all of me.

Oh for godsake Sea. I am so sorry to hear this. A girl I met there had latent TB and it delayed everything by a long time. But she did get pregnant with twins.
I think you should speak to your GP. I don't know anything about it but presumably this is something you should treat anyway?? If you try and find out what this means for future health, I.e will it ever develop into TB.

Ask the Argy whether they will treat you without doing immunes. Also go on FF and ask in the immune section. You need to think about whether you really want your cytokines treated. Try and contact some people on FF who have been in Same position.

I know you have been at this a long time but you have an excellent amh and so you aren't against the clock. But blimey I am just so sorry for this.

Just re read and that post sounds so bossy!! Obvioisly dont meant it to be.. Sorry I am on a bus and feel bus sick so a bit direct.

joy this still feels like a holiday, although we have never spent so much time in just one place, usually we travel round every few days, its not really ivf as i'm not contributing anything at this satge so feel a bit removed from it all, if I was using my own eggs ans stimminga nd having scans it would feel different

sea sadly having the jab for TB doesn't make you immune, you could have just been in the same area as someone with it, my mum has lung issues now due to being exposed to a neighbours kid who had tb but it took until my mum was alot older for it to arise, sorry not a very helpful story, its a tough decision to make, I can understand that you want to get on with things I suppose its a case of are you prepared to take the chance and how would you feel if something happened, would you spend your time thinking, what if I ahd waited, well I had to take the chance and I can live that choice,
some women I know who had been on immune treatment stopped fell pregnant and have happy healthy babies, again not really helpful, I am trying to be though honest big hugs

Hey Joy - not bossy at all. I appreciate the good advice. I am just so cross with myself for leaving it all so late.

Thanks Buzzy - I know you are. I never needed the jab for TB - I think it was the BCG at school. I was the only one in class that didn't need it. Maybe this is something to do with it. I probably had the latent TB back then. I need to do some thinking. Sorry I think I might have got it wrong about you taking the steroids. Im glad it's still feeling more like a hols than ivf. Hope you and Barry enjoy it.

Rabbit - I forgot to say earlier - well done on getting drunk and going to the Golden Arches and giving TTC the big finger. Hope you have recovered from the hangover.
x

Goodness ladies, so much is happening. So much sadness.

Nelly -I am so so so sorry. I agree you had a cp. And in normal ttc circumstances that would be a good sign indicating a sticky bean is around the corner. But with the time and stress of ivf,a cp is heart breaking. I am not an instant cryer either. But you might find it catches up with you out of the blue. Oh sweetheart, there is still a baby for you. I wonder what other ivf options you could try, ie natural a la euro. And definitely insist on the cyclogest again. Is that an injectable. My first ivf round was gestone injections via a trial and that is supposed to be cream de la cream. Oh nelly, sending you my unopened prosecco and some posh cheese crisps. Get some fresh air this weekend and be super lovely to yourself.

Den - oh honey I am so sorry. Feelings of anger and frustration are normal and healthy. I am very confident that conceiving is a matter of time for you. You and mr den have good swimmers and eggs and you have an a1 womble, it wad just the drs not gettjng doses / timmimg right. And that sort if thing can be put right. Sorry for the long wait until the next round, but thinking of holidays, spa days, meals out, lazy sundays etc until that time?

Mad -heck it must be do stressful just now with your mil being unwell. Everything happens at once ay? Wil be thinking of you tomorrow when you poas.

Rabbit - thank goodness the health scare turned oug ok. And high five for the cheekh hangover. I really think you need to follow your indtincts about the spotting / progesterone thing. Would you consider Mayan massage?

Euro -I am glad your scar is healing well. Heres hoping for good smear results and a smooth journey on to round 2.

Joy - there seems to be lots to take in from the review today. How blinking annoying that they didn't have the erpc results, that is rubbish. Ok so even if egg quality is a little below what you would like, your recent pregnacy shows you can indeed get pregnant and the only reason for the miscarriage was the genetic problem with the babies, a fluke and bad luck really and not due to actual egg/ swimmer problems. That is how it looks from where im standing?? I know finances must be considered but I like what nellys sister said about where there are options to carry on. You can produce good embryos swertheart. But I know this whole experience is draining, frustrating and utter utter shite, not to mention all consuming. I also agree amh doesn't mean much, just an indication of how many eggs they might get. Et at day 3 sounds like a good alternative for next time. Would you consider a one off consultation with a different expert just to get fresh perspective?

Sea -my goodness, what a head feck of a curve ball. That is soooooo unfair. No wonder you are at a loss. Why would it be near end of the year if you need 3 months of tb treatment? What other factors might influence your decision? How is your afc and amh etc and what would be the negatives if you do wait a few months. I hope your clinic offer you balanced guidence about this, oh sweetheart, I am sorry for this nasty shock.

Really sad to hear of the upset and angert towards other halves, especially where not wanting to start ttc is concerned, I know I would have the same frustrations. But partnerships and marriages are never ever easy and decisions are made based on what seems best at the time. No one has a crystal ball and I agree with joy that ttc ishoos may have been occuring anywhere. I think it is good to vent these feelings and from that point a place of peace can often be found.

Thank you for all the support around loss of symptoms. We managed to get an epu, scan this afternnin. Thank fully, the baby is doing well and the heamatoma has shrunk. Feek very relieved and lucky, ironically my nausea returnec but not quite as horrendous as last week.

Art - wpukd live to meet for an exciting beverage when this sicky phase had passed.

Hello to all who I havent name checked. Remember ladies, this too will pass. Noone on this thread will ever ever have regrets that they didn't try to get their baby. And I would put good money on every lady here getting her baby.

Buzz - wanted to say sorry for the steroid side effects. Must be most unpleasant, looking forward to tomorrows day 5 report.

Just a quick hello to say thank you all for your lovely messages. I so far feel strangely fine, like the uncertainty has gone. I had rare steak, blue cheese and wine. Hurrah!

Sar I am so so happy everything is ok, I was so worried for you. Hooray for nausea again

Going to sign off just now but will catch up tomorrow and properly reply to some amazing posts today. I feel so much love for you all it is unreal. And no it's not the wine talking... Xxx

joy I've been fascinated by twins since my bestie had identical twins, so I had to google your question about when the split happens. The last post here says up to day 13:
boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=65971

seaview what a shock about the latent TB! It must happen reasonably often for them to take the precaution of routinely testing people for it. I'm not sure what to think about the immune stuff, so in your shoes I would probably want to go somewhere else and just get on with it, but if you are happy where you are, I realise that this will be a big decision. I'm just impatient!

What an insensitive arse you were unlucky enough to encounter. Presumably if they get diabetes/heart disease/cancer at some point in their lives, they won't have any treatment as it must just be "natural selection". Twat.

sar I'm so glad that your scan brought good news. And how naughty of your nausea to return at that point!

nelly have a great evening. The uncertainty is always trying. I actually felt relief when my pregnancy ended, which seemed like a bizarre reaction, but I had suffered so much with a week of limbo.

sea can I ask how you knew you didn't need the BCG, even if you had had the jab it still might not have made any difference, are you able to
speak to another clinic for a second opinion

sar glad all was well with your scan

sar - I am so happy to hear the scan went well and everything is okay. Sorry about the nausea but hopefully that will pass soon. Delay is due to TB treatment which they tell me usually takes 3 months. Humira treatment takes 1 month and the repeat immunes test takes a while too. Some unlucky ladies have to do 2 courses of Humira as sometimes 1 course doesn't bring down the cytokine. All your questions are v valid. I just don't know what to do.

euro - They screen for TB because one of the side effects of Humria is that it makes you more susceptible to catching TB.I am impatient too. I am half thinking I might leave all this immune stuff and just go for a regular ivf and hope for the best. Afterall I have never done a regular round. I too am fascinated by twins!

nelly - brave lady. Glad you are feeling okay but if you don't later, that is okay too. Well done on the steak, cheese and wine. Sounds like a yummy dinner!

buzz - when i was in school, before bcg injections are given, they give you a test, if you react it means you have been exposed to it before and they don't give you the jab. I was the only one in school that didn't need the bcg jab. According to Dr Google this seems to suggest I was exposed when I was young (pre BCG so before I was 11/12). I was born in Asia so this makes sense.

joy - thanks for the stern talking to about going on FF. I found one person with the positive TB issue who cycled at the argy and she got pregnant with twins this year. I think she might be the lady you mentioned in your post.

In case anyone reading is interested. Latent TB is not infectious! Phew! More than a third of the population have latent TB and only 10% will go on to actually get TB. Unfortunately immunes treatment is one of the ways to increase that likelihood.

Sorry about the me, me, me post.

Ah, so it is a lot then - one third! I guess that explains why they screen for it. I'm surprised it's even as much as 10% of them who go on to get TB, tbh. Outside specific populations, it's fairly uncommon here. I only know one person who has had full blown TB. She caught it despite having none of the risk factors. She now works for one of the TB charities.

Oh Nelly how totally shit. And MrsDen too. It's so unfair. I'm so so sorry for you both that it didn't work out this time. I can't even imagine the disappointment. Hope you are both being kind to yourselves.

Thanks Euro for your reply on the natural IVF. Sounds like the nhs don't do it...but at least I know it's out there as an option if I react badly to the drugs. Hope your smear goes ok, bit annoying with the timing.

Sea I think it was you that said clomid makes you ovulate 'stronger'. I was thinking it was all a bit pointless at that stage and that sort of made me feel better about taking it so thanks Maybe it helps my eggs mature? Who knows, but if I believe it'll work then it may just... Sorry to hear about your TB issue. If it's something that lots of people have and don't know about, and it isn't harmful if you're pregnant, then I can see why you might be tempted to just ignore it and go ahead with the IVF. But on the other hand...I think if it does flare up it's pretty serious so if it were me I'd probably get treated. Tough decision though.

Sar yay for a healthy scan!

Doll thanks for your wise words re the triplet month. I was absolutely getting a bit too excited at my prospects with 3 eggs to shoot for Your story brought a little perspective though so I've calmed down a bit. I did make MrBopit have sex with me every day after the scan though to increase my chances even further.....until he started to look at me with fear and dread so gave him a day off.

Nelly and Euro wow on the whole other halfs delaying things chat. Exactly the same for me. It took some persuading in the first place. Then it didn't help that I got pregnant the first month we took the plunge (spooked? Yes he was!). It gave him the false impression that we could have a baby to order whenever we chose. So at that point he used a work excuse to delay things for a year or so. I feel like the whole of my 30's I've been waiting for this to happen to the point that aspects of my life have been put on hold. I've not gone for new jobs when I should have etc etc. I have anger bubbling just below the surface. At him for delaying, at me for not going to the doctor sooner (I have to take some blame too). At the moment I can manage that anger because 'all is not lost'. There's still hope. I'm not sure how I'll deal with that anger if I never manage to have children though....scary thought. And a depressing one! Sorry! It's the weekend and I need to perk my ideas up I'm up too early.

I have a special request. I wonder if the diffed ladies Sar Gin Doll Artemis Sweet and Princess (hope I've not missed anyone) would remind us of their story (Age, how long trying, if there was a cause for infertility, how they got diffed in the end etc.). I think it would give me hope if I could draw comparisons between someone else's story (of success!) and mine does that sound bonkers? Sorry if that's totally nosy...

Mad, Critter and Buzzy thinking of you all.

Waves to Rabbit Lemon Joy Ramona and everyone else I've missed xx

Good morning ladies. Was out late last night and couldn't get the Internet to load on my phone. I have missed loads and will definitely not remember it all!

First of all nelly I am so so sorry. The cp should definitely be seen as a positive step forward but after the stress, headfuckery and disruption of ivf it will be hard to see it as such. I hope that MrN is okay too. Hooray to rare steak and blue cheese and wine. Please keep posting as you work through it all and plan your next steps and remember that I'm not too far away for a real life chat if you want or need it xx

sea that is just rubbish. I don't feel like I can offer much advice, apart from to say that my ivf was delayed significantly by having to wait for endometriosis treatment and then taking the downregging drugs for a few months to allow me to recover from surgery without the endo returning. I appreciate that it's a completely different situation because you are not ill and this may not cause you any problems whatsoever, but I do feel that I did everything I could to make sure I was in the right place before starting the ivf. If it doesn't work though I will probably feel like all of that was for nothing. I'm not being very helpful either!!!

joy I agree with sar that maybe a fresh perspective would be useful. You didn't make just one embryo, you made two, so your eggs are capable of turning into babies. You just had such bad luck last time. After such a traumatic experience I can imagine it's difficult to get your head around everything.

buzzy I am thinking of you often on your ivf escape. I am sure that you must feel a bit adrift waiting for your part in the process to get underway, then you get to start doing the most important job there is.

sar so relieved to hear that you are alright and the bean is healthy. Thank goodness for scans! I am really hoping against hope for a positive result for us but I know even if I get one, with my tubal issues, I will be convinced that the bean has set up home in my one remaining tube, destined to end in disappointment again. Not that I am giving in to the hormonal melodramatic feelings . One hurdle at a time right?

mrsdi hope things are starting to feel less acutely painful. I am so sure that icsi will work for you next time and that your eggs will all be allowed to mature so you get something to freeze. We all know that the first round is often a learning experience but that doesn't make the disappointment any less.

rabbit sorry for the sore head but hoorah to junk food and throwing caution to the wind for a change. I do hope you are feeling better this morning (after a nice long lie).

Okay I know there was more I wanted to say but I can't remember any of it. MrM's mum is doing okay. Being kept in for lots of assessments and it is all quite sad (sorry for being cryptic) but long term decisions have to be made now. Poor MrM is also under a lot of stress at work on top of worrying about the ivf so I am trying to take good care of him. Thank goodness he doesn't have to go off booze and caffeine for this part of the process!

Big waves to euro, doll, art, princess, sweet, lemon, critter, zippy and ramona and everyone else because I always miss someone. Here's hoping for some happier Saturdays for us all.

Just popping in quickly to wish buzz lots and lots of GOOD LUCK today. You will be pupo later on :)

Will be back laters

Good luck buzzy for ET today. Hope it all goes smoothly.

Buzzy massive huge heaps of lovely luck for today. I will be thinking of you. ET day is for me always the most exciting part!

Gin bless you, what a lovely person you are. I'm disappointingly not really hungover but I will take the hug anyway!

Mad I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much on top of the IVF. Thank you for offering your RL shoulder, especially when you have your own heavy load. Luckily I got a surprise text from my bestie last night to say she is coming to see me tonight so that is really cheering me up (she lives far away).

Zippy well done on the shagfest! Here's hoping for you

Sea what a worry on the TB. I'm not sure what I'd go in your circumstances. I don't think I'd do the immune treatment without the TB treatment (if that was even on the table). Perhaps if money wasn't a concern I'd do non-immune ivf once, then if it didn't work treat the tb then the immunes while you had a gap between cycles. But it's hard to know what's the right course of action.

So it was a tough evening in the Nelly house with quite a heart to heart. Long story short, we've decided that IUI is a good option for us, natural cycles with progesterone, and our last gasp will be full LP ivf to see if I can get the other follies I had this time to grow as well. If none of that works then its DE, although I'm not sure why that gives us a better chance than my own embies. I need to understand that before we spend that sort of money.

Anyway loads I've still not referred to (will I ever catch up?!) especially Joys review. I don't think you have crap eggs at all - and remember my consultant said once you are at the embie stage the AMH becomes irrelevant. Big hugs to you.

Love to Lemon, Sar, Doll, sweet, mrsD, euro, Ramona, art, Rabbit, Pout and everyone else I missed.

hey ladies I am back and PUPO, had a few tears when I saw B1 and B2 on the screen, we will know tomorrow about freezing some, one is good the other is a possibility and the third is fragmenting. I feel a huge sense of relief that the end is in sight no matter what the results, we are both keen to get on with adoption now, between my poor quality eggs and his poor quality sperm, I mean thank goodness for ICSI as this lot was pretty poor progressive motility 3 % and normal morphology was a mere .5 %, which pretty much puts the nail in the coffin for natural conception.

I like to think if this round doesn't work we will have a go at FET later in the year then call it a day, thankfully we have no option due to finances which for us is a blessing, I am ready to move on

nelly glad your bestie is coming to see you

thanks for all the good wishes

Yay buzzy you are pupo! That's super good news. It is totally surreal watching them squirt them back in. And it sounds like you will have frosties too. How much longer are you on hols? Hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend. Otd must be about 9 days away?

nellie I'm really pleased that you have a plan - I always feel better when I do- but I am so massively sorry things didn't work out this time. The fact you did get real bfps is v encouraging. From my reading dr google and obsessively reading bout embryo development I think if there is enough hcg to be picked up on a hpt, the bean has implanted and so I assume that when it doesn't work out it's cos that embryo wasn't meant to be. I may be talking bollocks though... Hope you manage to have an ok weekend xx

mad so sorry to hear about mil. Sounds all v sad and also totally what you and mr m don't need at the mo. Is it your otd on Monday? I have everything crossed for you x

mrsd I hope you are ok. All the chat about anger has felt familiar and I'm pleased to hear you feel some towards your DH too, as I feel such a cow whenever I do. I know he'd give anything to have normal sperms and be able to give me a baby normally, but it doesn't stop me getting cross that I have to have all the invasive treatment, prodding, putting my health at risk with the ivf etc, when in fact there's nothing wrong with me, as far as I know.

joy Dave too is rather silent in our consultations, which makes me cross. I've had to do all the research, come up with all the questions, make all the decisions, whilst he pretty much ignores it all. I guess him being laid back has it's advantages in that I've been able to do what I want and i do think men just don't think about it all as much as we do, but I do feel the whole it's up to you attitude is to make it all my fault when stuff goes wrong...

Having said all that, the change in him since the bfp is remarkable. He is just so much happier and relaxed hopefully it's not just to do with his football team doing well so it must have been bothering him. My biggest fear that was he would leave me cos he saw how unhappy I was not bring able to have a baby, but I would choose him any day and made this v clear to him.

joy your appointment sounds rather confusing, to me anyway. I guess they know what they are doing, but I wonder how they can work out it's down to egg quality, just like that. What happened to your beans was nothing to do with egg quality. I am v hopeful for you that next time it will work.

rabbit bloody hell a health scare on top of everything else? You really really don't need that, but I'm pleased all seems well now. Loving your maccied's ttc food rebellion. Any news re the referral yet?

sea sounds like you are having a bit of a shitfest too. I guess you need to decide if you want to do everything you can do to give the ivf the best possible chance of working, or if you just want to get on with it. Do you think immunes are what have been preventing you from conceiving? If so, it may be an idea to get them sorted, although I'd be tempted to have a shot at ivf (maybe somewhere a bit cheaper) and then see how that works out. You could always get the immune treatment done before the next cycle if you need it.

Well done on all the sechsing zippy! You asked about my story - I think it's pretty different to your situation but happy to share. Mr Gin aka Dave (not his real name!) has severe sub-fertility and we were only ever going to get pregnant via icsi. We had 2 failed ivf cycles and a frozen embryo transfer with the one surviving embie from the 2nd cycle, which is what (hopefully!) is growing in me now! The is the first time I've ever been pregnant and we've been trying for almost 3 years. So don't give up!

ramona hope you had a good bonk holiday too!

euro hope you are still recovering well from your op.

sar I'm thrilled that all is well with your bean and that the haematoma is shrinking. All great news. I would love another scan, as I'm so scared there's just a big empty sac, but we can't justify the ££s. I still don't have the date for the 12 week scan and think I will feel better once I get it. They'd better hurry up as I'm at 9 weeks now!

sweet hope you are doing ok. All your symptoms sound v promising to me.

critter hope you are ok and that the menkuling is being held at bay.

Your dog story made me laugh a LOT pout. Isn't your follow up appointment pretty soon?

doll is today bridesmaid day? Hope it goes well. I too am waking up horribly early, mostly cos I need to wee!

Waves to everyone I've missed.

I was at the Southbank last night and it made me think of the lovely meet up we had there :) Last night, I totally stuffed myself with dim sum, mmmmm, and watched Dave get a bit drunk. It was nice to actually be out together for once. Today I'm being ver ver lazy and having a duvet day. I keep having nightmares about going to the loo and discovering bleeding, urgh. Hope you all are having nice weekends.

gin they told me the 23rd but will test before as I don't want to be on the sterooids if I don't need them, I do have a bit cramping but should imagine that is normal

Argh, have missed loads and this will have to be a quick post too as I'm going into work today for a one-off Saturday event we're doing.

buzzy hurrah for being PUPO! It is super cool seeing them going back in - and fantastic that you may have a frostie too. I think you've been amazing during all of this. Must feel lovely to have the little ones on board.

nelly big squeeze. I hope you're ok this morning - wine and steak and cheese sound like just the ticket after the shitty week you've had. I think your plan sounds really good and I'm glad you and MrN were able to talk.

mrsd thinking of you. I do think that your next round will be much better - they won't screw up with the early EC for a start, and they'll make sure you have the right dosage. You are going to get there, I'm just sorry it's taking so long and putting you through the emotional and physical wringer. Big hugs coming your way.

sar great news that the haematoma has shrunk and your little bean is still safely there - and isn't it typical that the symptoms would return after a scan!

rabbit you made me laugh with your 'cold sore sounds promising' . That has to be a first! So sorry about the health scare, poor you, you don't need that on top of everything else.

mad nearly there now, the end is in sight! Thanks for offering me a paw to hold during this process. I'm so sorry about your poor MIL. A lovely, very young colleague at work just told me that his father had been diagnosed with a horrible degenerative disease - it does put things into perspective. I totally know what you mean about the grandchildren thing - I feel that way too. Unfortunately there's bugger all we can do about it.

sea oh what a horrible shock about the TB. I hate to read about you feeling tearful although I can completely understand why. I think others have good advice - I think you need to talk to a clinic about it and then you can make a decision armed with all the info. I am so sorry this happened on top of everything else.

zippy I hope I didn't make you gloomy about clomid - there is every chance that it will work for you, as it does for countless other women. Good work on the triplet SWI!

joy how bloody stressful about the appointment. I agree with the others - I think a fresh set of eyes on your notes would really help at this stage. Can you have a consultation somewhere else? I don't see why egg quality would be the issue but I think what you really need now is a second opinion.

Ok - have missed tons - apologies. Have to get out of my pjs and get off to work. The combo of the threatening cold sore, lots of spots and IVF chub is not making me feel my most foxy so I ought to try to spruce myself up before I launch myself on the unsuspecting public. According to the internet, today (5 days past a 5 day transfer) would be the earliest day to do a meaningful test - OTD is Thursday. I am scared of seeing a negative and am even toying with waiting for the blood test result then. Anyway. Much love and thinking of you all.

nelly so glad your friend is here. Nothing like old friends who know you best at a time like this. I have a few overseas that i only see every 3 or 4 years but we fall right back into it like we've been living next door to each other for the past 10 years :)

Hoorah for being PUPO buzzy!!! Some crcamping is normal. So pleased that your embie (i missed if it was one or two?) is right where it belongs now.

critter i am early nervous about testing too. Bought some tests today (not FRER) just boots normal ones but so scared of a BFN. Don't think i can hold out until the blood test though....

gin i am jealous of your dim sum. we have a new restaurant here. have promised MrM we'll go soon.

dinner ready. big waves to all xx

Oh lovely Critter, no I don't remember you saying anything gloomy about clomid. I have been totally pessimistic about it since it was prescribed though and cling on to any positive mention of it. So far I'm really glad I've taken it (surprisingly). I'm viewing it as guaranteed ovulation every month with hopefully more than one egg (but no more than 3!) and the best thing is being seen for scans and blood tests and whatnot. That sounds daft but before I felt cast adrift on my own with the same headfuck month after month and no answers. Now I feel like I'm gaining info (womb layer thickness ooh..) and feel like at least things are moving forward until we come up with the dosh for IVF in Sep/Oct Btw what does SWI stand for? I'm pretty sure it's rude but can't quite figure it out I'm so excited for you being pupo, your prospects look really good but can imagine it's as scary as for you right now. Rooting for you

Thank you Gin for sharing I don't care if your story isn't quite mine. It's just so heart warming to hear any stories of people getting diffed after years of trying. 9 Weeks already! That is just fab I don't know why but when you call MrGin Dave it always makes me think of Only Fools and Horses Anyway, really happy 'Dave' is chilled out and happy now, that's so lovely.

Mad so sorry to hear about MIL. It sounds like you are being there for everyone when what you really need is for the world to stop and for everyone to be there for you. As if your life right now wasn't challenging enough, you are being a trouper though. Hope you are finding some 'me' time for yourself xx

Love that you have a plan Nelly I always feel so much better with a plan. Sounds like overall you had a really positive night where you've both dusted yourself down, pooled your energies and are marching forward stronger than before. Huge admiration x

Yay for pupo Buzzy!

Must dash, waves to everyone else