New thread for the lovely 10+ers. 14 was awesome so another like that please!
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seaviewasia ·
04/07/2013 21:18
Pout - just coming on to give you a big hug about your FIL. I know just how you feel having just buried my FIL yesterday. It's so so hard and for us who is supporting someone grieving for their father I think it is really difficult to watch. Whether you are expecting it or not I don't think it is any easier. Love to MrP and you. [hand hold] I can't believe you are having to deal with IVF at the same time. Life is really f**cking unfair sometimes. [shakes fist at the sky]
Euro - I am sorry for the BFN. Like others have said it might be too early for the test and I really hope that is the case.
AFM, ladies, I am really not in a good place right now. MrS is devastated and I am trying really hard to support him. It's not easy. I am sad about FIL too - very much so. I feel this coupled with our infertility is just too much to bear. MrS keeps telling me how he feels very unhappy and keeps talking about us not being able to have a child. It didn't help that after the funeral even people I didn't know came up and to us and said " don't worry you will; have kids one day, you are not too old" and everyone had one of those stories (barren for years and then 2 kids no problems). It looks like MIL told all her friends and distant relatives about our struggles. It's so hard to cope with death and also knowing everyone knows your inability to do something as natural as to have a child. Someone even told me. it's so sad because I know your FIL was really looking forward to seeing you and MrS kids. Now he will never be able to see his them... Why oh why would someone say that to me!!! F*@k! I am sorry for the self indulgence and bad language post but I am so angry and hate how unfair life is. It's just all feels so hopeless and unbearable. 
Buzzybee123 ·
04/07/2013 22:09
sea big hugs, it is amazing what stupid things people will say at times like funerals 
they just don't realise what they are saying. Its a very stressful time you and Mr S, you just need to get through this then you can think about other things, right now everything is just piling up and too much to process at once 
Poutintrout ·
04/07/2013 23:15
sea I am so sorry that you and MrS are going through such a tough time. I actually think that after the funeral is the sometimes the toughest time because the shock of the death and the funeral planning kind of provides a weird momentum with not much time to think. After the funeral comes the difficult point of learning to live without the person. I can understand why you are both devastated.
I have to admit that I wasn't especially close to my FIL and MrP had a strange relationship with him but nevertheless I know that he is hurting and seeing him cry was so difficult. I am naturally a cold fish and find it really hard to do the warm emotional stuff. I keep telling him that I don't know what to say or do - not helpful I know. I was reading another thread on here about bereavement and how to give support and quite a few of the posts suggested that just stepping back a bit and telling the grieving person to tell you what they need is a good way to go. I am waffling when really I just wanted to say that I really feel for you and am sad that you are going through this & that I understand that being the supportive one can be difficult too.
As for the comments from some people at the funeral I am quite shocked. On what planet are those kind of words helpful? Way to kick a person when they are down. I am sure that both you and MrS had privately reflected on the fact that FIL won't be around to see your kids and don't need some ejit saying that out loud. I know that those thoughts have gone through my mind with my FIL and I wondered if it had gone through his mind while he was in hospital. I am comforted by thinking that maybe he will give God/the universe a bit of a shove and send a baby in our direction 
rabbitonthemoon ·
05/07/2013 17:27
I'm manically tidying the house as we have people coming for tea. But sending hugs and support to lots if the 10 plussers.
Sea I'm so sorry. And 
at the comments, people really don't engage the brain before speaking sometimes. Sending you lots of virtual hand holding. It's heartbreaking to see someone you love in the depths of grief.
Loves to pout and lemon and euro but people are knocking at the door! Will try and do wine fuelled sneaky post later.
MuddyWellyNelly ·
05/07/2013 23:42
Sea I'm so sorry, this is so hard. I agree that the comments were probably well-intended, even if they were badly thought out. In any case it is probably better for your well being right now to make that assumption. Poor MrS. Grief is not something you can chart, and all the old cliches are true. Hang on in there; on top of the abject misery of TTC something like this is obviously going to throw you of course. All you can do is be there for him; and know we are here for you.
Pout, big supportive hugs for you and MrP too.
I'm a happy little Scot today. 
OP posts:
ThatWayMadnessLies ·
07/07/2013 18:21
Hope everyone is out enjoying the sunshine or the tennis (or both). we are quite squiffy from our post wimbledon sparkly 
. Stuffed full of strawberries too... Scottish ones 
MuddyWellyNelly ·
07/07/2013 20:28
Oh euro, FFS what a nightmare. I got BFPs until the Wednesday, then a BFN on the Thursday and zero according to the blood test on Friday. I couldn't quite piece it all together and was really surprised to be told there was zero reading. I'd go with your CP theory, which is upsetting, but shows embies were formed again.
Madness I'm getting squiffy too. The man is a legend
OP posts:
roomyenoughforacritter ·
08/07/2013 02:08
Hi ladies - just back from my ten day writing thing and catching up. I've missed a lot and it looks like it's mostly been bad news.
I am so sorry pout and sea about your FILs.
sea what an awful thing for someone to say to you, I am just so sorry that this is adding more pain onto what you are already suffering. I only hope that this horrible time will pass and that you and MrS will get some good luck for once. Huge hug and I'm so sorry.
pout I really feel for you and MrP. I am sure that you're doing a wonderful job of taking care of him and making him feel supported and loved. I just wish that you weren't both going through this.
euro what an awful stressful cycle you've had, they really buggered about with you. It adds even more stress that you've had a CP. I hope that you can have a peaceful break, allowing your body a rest, before your August round.
lemon I am cheering you on. The injecting is no fun at all but you're a hero and a warrior and you will get through this. Sending lots of love and luck to the little lemony egglets.
rabbit I love your recent posts and your fighting spirit. You are absolutely right, you (and everyone else on this board) are born to be a mum and you will be a bloody fantastic one. And your time is coming, it really is.
nelly Scottish strawberries and sparkles sound like the perfect way to celebrate a Hibernian win! Hope the sunshine has found its way to where you are. My family was just in Scotland and were texting me last week in huge excitement at two evening badger sightings outside the house. My sister even left out some leftover chicken liver pate for it when they were cleaning out the fridge to go home, the lucky thing probably couldn't believe its luck .
missM Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I spotted you on the January antenatal thread and remembered your story - I was so happy that you were pregnant, and I am just so incredibly sorry that you have gone through the pain of mc. It's not bloody fair. These ladies are wonderful and I really hope you won't be back for long - in the nicest possible way.
sar I couldn't agree more about the nursery stuff. As always, your posts are so wise and just spot on.
I met a really lovely girl on my course last week whose husband had azoospermia - no sperm at all. They'd been trying for a year before he got tested, doctors can be so crap - and were two years into TTC and worrying about whether to go the IUI with donor sperm or adoption route. She lived in a really rural part of the country and was thinking about trying to find a male fertility specialist first to see if there was anything they could do. I was telling her that my pregnancy was IVF (I don't want to feel embarrassed about it) and she told me about her situation - I felt so bad that she was going through the longterm TTC shitfest. It's so unfair that so many kind and good-hearted people go through it.
roomyenoughforacritter ·
08/07/2013 16:54
Oh euro I am sorry for the headfuckery. You're so close to getting there, it's so incredibly frustrating. This cycle was really crap and I am glad you're getting a bit of a mental break. It was a huge amount of pressure on you, and even though I know you are stoic, it's bloody hard.
pout I haven't ever seen a live badger either (apart from roadkill) and was really jealous to hear that my family saw one! I did feel awful for my poor friend. I told her I'd heard that you can sometimes remove sperm directly from the testes, even if they don't find any in the sample. She hadn't heard of ICSI and said her local doctor had been pressuring them to do IVF with donor sperm (instead of trying other options first) so I hope she'll have some more avenues to explore first. But I just had this awful sinking feeling that they'd been trying for so long and still would have a long and exhausting road ahead. It's so shit.
The sunburn will go brown eventually! Just pop on lots of lotion and aloe - I hope it's not too hot and uncomfortable.
Buzzybee123 ·
08/07/2013 17:07
euro I am so sorry, I break will be good then roll on the next cycle :(
crittter glad you enjoyed your time away, I am surprised it took so long for then to diagnose the problem and that they haven't offered her more solutions 
pout hope the sunburn isn't too painful, how are the dogs coping with the heat, Kayla is hating her fur coat right now and she is letting me know about it, I feel in the mood for a virgin Mojito but Tesco have run out of mint 
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Buzzybee123 ·
08/07/2013 17:50
I did think about a spray for Kayla but I don't see it going down well
a neighbour has a paddling pool on the balcony, if it wasn't 3 storeys up I would be tempted to use it, have just opened ice cream but its frozen solid I'm all for the topless Brit abroad look
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