TRC 10+ months. Part 15...

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers. 14 was awesome so another like that please!

gin glad the tooth is better, I have a bit of a cold so couldn't face seeing patients today,

princess wow so close, have they given you an induction date. Must be nice to be in your own home now

nelly when do you plan your next cycle

sar good news on your scan

princess I'm so pleased that you are finally in your house! And that you are due! Not long to go now.

sar I am so, so happy that the scan was good.

gin I'm glad the tooth seems better.

Hello all!

Princess - wow that was quick. So nice to see good outcomes on fred. What great news. New house and baby. It gives us all hope.

Sar - So so happy that the scan went well.

Gin - I am glad the tooth is getting better. I know how bad wisdom tooth infections are having had a couple in my day. Not being able to take pain killers must be hell. I am sure baby is fine. How far along are you now? When is the next scan?

Buzz - Great news that size of blob is coming along well. I hope the scan has helped put your mind at rest. Hope your cold gets better soon. The cheese makes me laugh. I don't eat much of it except parmesan but have been told no cheese for at least 3 months due to my TB meds.

Mad - how's the bleeding? Are you feeling okay?

Mrsd - Spotting is horrid as you just don't know what it means. Try not to worry.

Lemon - well done on being open to people about TTC. I find it so hard to be open about this aspect of myself. I don't know why. I think there is an element of my feeling like a failure. Rationally I know it's not that but my rationalising hasn't caught up with my feelings.

Euro - Very well done on being open. I think being honest with work is tough. I work for myself but I find myself hiding about IVF and TTC from clients as I think they will run a mile if they think I am trying to have a baby. I have been a bit more open with friends lately as it was just getting too hard to explain why I can't drink when I am not pregnant and I can't go on group holidays (in anticipation of injection Humira for the pre IVF stuff). It's amazing how many people think IVF = a baby. So many people don't know it's not an instant success. Amazing really.

Rabbit - When will you be doing your IVF? Are you still yogaing? I have dropped all the heavier forms of yoga and now only do Iyegnar apparently it's better for fertility.

Nelly - I really feel for the soul destroying comments. I get them all the time but sometimes you just have to brush them off. People just don't realise what's going on... at least that's what I tell myself.

Joy - How was your holiday? Hope it was relaxing and enjoyable and made everything seemed brighter.

Sweet - How's it all going? How far along are you?

Waves to everyone else I have missed.

AFM. No movement on the IVF front. I am now on 3 months of antibiotics for latent TB. In my second week's worth of the pills which makes my pee bright orange and gives me a runny tummy and a big itchy rash all over the body. No alcohol, cheese or tuna allowed for 3 months. I go back back liver function test next week and if all is well I can start Humira for my high cytokines. I have decided to delay IVF until Oct when I finish antibiotics. Docs say I don't have to but I really don't feel like taking so many drugs on top of these heavy duty meds, humira. I am also taking really strong antihistamines for my chronic hayfever. My whole life is about taking pills at the right now at the moment. But I feel okay and generally happy. I try to focus on all the good things in my life and just hope that all this will be worth it. Here's hoping....
Have missed you ladies.
xx

Oh and I try to avoid FB because my newsfeed is ALL photos pf babies. On the one hand it's lovely to see people's families and cute babies. On the other hand, seeing people that used to intern for me have babies and friends who started TTC at the same time celebrate their twins' 3 birthdays is like a knife to the heart.

princess such good news that you moved in! So glad for you, it must feel amazing for everything to have fallen into place and align. Good luck with the birth and do come and tell us all about it x

sea you sound remarkably chipper all things considered and I think you are doing amazingly. The drugs sound horrible you poor thing. I have cut down on hot yoga and actually haven't been for a couple of weeks now but m getting strong urges! I'm also doing iyengar at the moment, and just lots of yoga really. If only yoga could get me pregnant. And cheese!

pout I too found the stuff about stress interesting. More so that it just has had such an impact on my health and I'd like to turn the stress off. I've had low and high level anxiety since starting to ttc but never no anxiety and the long term impacts of this are clear in my ibs/exzema/panic feelings. I'm sorry you have family worries thrown into the mix too. But how to de stress?! I bought a box of kalms yesterday and it was the first thing I put in my trolley and then I promptly bumped into someone from work who looked at it

buzzy and sar so pleased about the positive scans for you. I love it that you are still here and keeping us updated.

Well, I really do want to get back to normal and be a calmer person. Bt today I got letters from both private and nhs clinics I had no fucking idea how much private testing would be! I just wanted a consultation for second opinion but it seems we have to have a scan and SA. Is this right? Given I'll be getting this in July through the nhs do I need this or will they not see us without? Part of me would now like to know my antral follicle count but it will be day15. Again, is this right? Don't want to pay for scan if not needed. Ugh to the thought of finding out my follicle count. I know I need to know. But what if its zero!!? stands back and admires kalms effectiveness

Please hold my hand and tell me that knowing about my impending ovarian doom is better than head in the sand

Hi all

Quickly popping in to say hi. Great news on scans from Buzz and Sar! One day at a time is my best advice too. Good to hear the infection is settling down Gin.

Sea wow that is a lot of drugs... I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to tell people, I felt the same, and also about the self employment thing. I certainly didn't want clients to know about the IVF. You're right, people have no idea about the likely success rates. I still haven't told anyone, only my mum and a few close friends. I daresay it won't matter when the baby is here but I do wonder what we'll do in future, I guess at some point it will want/need to know how it was conceived.

Rabbit do you absolutely have to repeat the scan and SA for the private appt? It doesn't sound right that they can make you pay for something that is happening anyway and one less fanjocam has to be a good thing. Surely they can use the NHS results? It might be worth ringing and explaining that you will be having all these tests anyway. I don't see why they need to take more money from you when the tests are already being done. I'm not sure how the private system works, our situation was slightly different, we paid for our IVF but self-funded through the NHS satellite clinic which meant that we only paid for the IVF treatment and the drugs. All the scans and blood tests were through the NHS which saved us a fortune. We saw the NHS consultant but the EC, ET and embryology went through the private clinic. I know you're not at the point of treatment yet, just wanting an opinion on your case, but it might be worth checking if that's an option if you do decide to go down the IVF route.

I'm at insensitive comments and baby-filled Facebooks and silly ideas about inheritance. People are so lacking in imagination about how others might feel. Loving the gardening and cheese talk. We have a yard rather than a garden but are trying to get some flowers going or rather Mr A is, I direct and supervise, reckon we should play to our strengths. I can't wait until I'm allowed proper gooey cheese. A sex ban I could cope with, but a full-on cheese ban? No way

I've been pondering recent successes on this thread and I do genuinely think there is hope for everyone on here. Every story is so different. We've had the brown diet diff (Princess), the nick-of-time 'unexplained' IVF diff (me and Doll), the FET male factor diff (Gin), DE diff (Buzz), PCOS panda IVF (Critter), and the gold-medal-winning, fuck-you-doctors natural diff after the medics had written her tubes off (Sar). That's actually not a bad tally for a bunch of barrens . I want everyone to fluff up their tail feathers and take heart. I would lay bets that all of us thought we would be the last ones left on the thread as the tumbleweed blew. But you never know what will happen next.

AFM all is OK after a few panics in recent weeks, one trip to triage for monitoring of reduced foetal movement and then a growth scan today after the midwife thought the baby had stopped growing which had me terrified. Thankfully all normal. IME post-IVF pregnancy is basically months of anxiety, I just want the next 8 weeks to pass and to stop work now please, I just can't be arsed any more, just want to sit on the couch eating cheese

BTW we still have our cat. She is poorly but hanging on. Not bad for a kitty who was meant to be dead weeks ago according to the vet though I nearly keeled over when i saw the credit card bill. The day will come before too long but we're not thinking about it yet, I'm hoping she'll slip away quietly and save us all from the trauma of decisionmaking and medicalisation. Thanks to everyone for the kind thoughts, pets are so much part of the family. Mr A has had her 16 years, it's the most consistent relationship of his adult life.

Loves and tail feather fluffs to everyone and sorry for not namechecking, I've done no work today, but wanted to pop in and say hi. I still lurk and think of you all lots

The end of the second para made me LOL, rabbit. :)

What are you seeking a second opinion on? If you are getting the same thing through the NHS next month, at this point, I would wait for that.

An AFC is usually done at the beginning of the cycle, before a dominant follicle starts developing, so day 15 would be very late.

My NHS IVF clinic did want its own AFC scan and SA done, even though they had already been done by my referring local hospital's fertility clinic. My private clinic just looked at the exisitng SA results, but does like to give women a "fertilty MOT" which is basically a detailed scan that looks at blood flow to the womb and ovaries. A bit pointless but cost-wise a p1ss in the ocean that is the cost of private treatment.

sea8 that sounds like a lot of meds! It seems like a good idea to put the IVF on hold until the autumn.

second para=second to last para.

The diff summary is interesting Art. Most of us are getting there in the end!

I'm glad to hear kitty is still hanging on. I'll hope for a nice peaceful end for her, when the time comes.

gin so glad to hear that the tooth is easing off. I can't imagine not being able to take industrial strength painkillers in such a situation (I have stockpiled the Tramadol and Codeine left over from the lap and EC for tooth emergencies & felt strangely miffed by MrP was using them for his toothache!)

princess I am so happy (and a tiny bit envious ) of you being in your lovely new home and also being so close to meeting your baby. How exciting and wonderful. Do let us know when the baby comes.

sar so wonderful to hear your scan news. I agree with rabbit about it being so nice that our grads are still around.

sea you really must rattle at the moment. FB is a bitch for baby talk. The last few times I've logged on it was all kiddie birthday parties. I rarely bother to look anymore, it's just too depressing.

art Oh poor you with the drama. That must have been an awful and terrifying time. Are you really 8 weeks until your due date?
Glad to hear that kitty is okay. 16 is quite an age for a cat.

rabbits I did laugh at the Kalms thing! I agree that the TTC is anxiety inducing in itself. (Probably) unfairly I find that I am getting angry with certain people for causing me stress because it might be impacting my TTC effort so the whole thing just feeds into and off eachother
It does seem a bit mad to pay for tests that the NHS will be doing anyway. I thought that you could just provide the private clinic with copies of your NHS test results. Does it look like your NHS appointment will be imminent? If so maybe you could wait and see what they say and then pay to get a second opinion on that IYSWIM?

rabbit I think most private clinic like to do there own scans and have a new SA, but agree with euro maybe do the NHS one, can you put back the private one, the fertility MOT is quite good, it does give you an idea of what is going on, I paid £150 for the MOT the AMH was £105 ??? but they are southern prices, you will have a decent AFC

art that must have been scary, glad all is ok, you don't have long now :) its difficult with pets isn't, i'm glad your kitty is still hanging in there

wise words about the success on this thread, it will happen for others

I do remember thinking it would never happen to me but for everyone else

To be honest I don't really feel I belong anywhere at this stage, some places people are going on about how I should relax and be happy yes if I had never experienced a loss i probably would but right now I don't think of it as a baby just a condition, so I don't really know where to go so I stick with what is safe

Buzz I totally understand that way of thinking. I don't think it's possible, after the trauma of fertility treatment and mcs, to 'relax and be happy' at any stage. I don't think I got my head around it being an actual baby until week 20, possibly even later as I didn't really show or feel much movement until around week 22/23. I'm still not counting my chickens, just taking each day as it comes. You just cope with things in your own way. Do they know at work?

Pout, yes it's only 8 more weeks. Crazy. Still doesn't feel actually real. It's like TTC time - every moment seems to drag, time passes at a glacial pace, then you look back and think, has it really been that long?

it's almost like a "normals" thread on here now with talk of scans and due dates. I can't believe you're almost there princess and art not far behind. Best of luck to you. Do come and give us all the details after the big event, I love a good birth story. Like nelly it's all so strange to me but I find it fascinating.

sar and buzzy wonderful news about your scans. I understand not being able to relax. That's one of the cruel things about long term ttc. My friend is currently pregnant and is so relaxed and laid back about it all, I find it weird. She doesn't seem to have a care in the world unless of course she's just very good at hiding it. But I think it's because she conceived straight away and hasn't had any heartache associated with this business. In her mind it all goes smoothly.

rabbit I'll do all the tests for you alongside the ivf, I'm happy to make up the numbers and then guess at the protocol and drugs doses, I'm sure that's what my Dr did. I wanted to say that I really did find ivf fine from a physical point of view. It was also ok emotionally until the end of the 2ww when all my hope vanished. The few days after the result were shit, I hit a new low and I really don't want to go there again.

sea we can be cycle buddies in October. I was so upset when I realised I had to wait until then but actually it's nice to think I can have a summer without worry and have a nice holiday.

AF arrived yesterday after two days of brown spotting. I know my cycle well enough to know that it wasn't an egg laying one. This was the first one after ivf so I'm hoping it's just my body adjusting and all will be back to normal. I don't think I can cope thinking both me and DH are broken.

Just popping in quickly to say mrsd you aren't broken! But that is exactly how I felt after the 2 failed cycles and then post ivf silly buggers af. I thought if it's just Dave who's broken I could cope, but not if I had issues too. But everything will get back to normal soon, I promise.

Also I wanted to say rabbits my clinic accepted the NHS SA we'd had done but I had the have the full scan euro mentioned, every time we wanted to start an ivf cycle. Also I had my AFC done post ovulation every time. They didn't seem to care where I was in my cycle when doing it. I quite liked it being post ov, as they could def tell me I'd ovulated and show me the corpus luteum.

Waves and luffs to everyone else. Thank fuck it's Friday -I'm bloody knackered! I even fell asleep in that ace cat programme last night. Dave is now convinced that cats really are evil, as apparently they mimic a child's cry when they want feeding!

I would have loved to have watched that cat programme. What did it show? I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to persuade DH that we need another cat. I keep emailing him photos and sob stories from the local animal shelter but he's being so stubborn.

Thanks gin for saying I'm not broken. I know on paper our case doesn't look that complicated but I do think it's more complex than just DH being broken. I had that cyst which affected things and I didn't ovulate every month, I thought the lap had fixed it so now I'm worried that ivf has messed me up again.

and if I'm not ovulating then Dh's two sperms have absolutely no chance so even the tiniest glimmer of hope for natural conception has gone.

mrsd agree that you are noy broken its just a bit awry

I liked the cat programme but didn't learn that much from it other than cats purr at the same tone/level as babies cry if they want feeding, I think Barry willbe putting that theory to the test this weekend

you cats do just wonder in
that is how I got most of my cats

gin agree with the tfif, don't really want to be at work today

mrsd you are not broken. It's just the evil IVF drugs messing things up for a bit.

Art only 8 weeks - wow! Not long to go at all.

I watched some of the cat programme. It was interesting to see how far some of them roamed, and how many sneaked into houses that were not their own!

I've just been for my first scan and it was a bit of an odd one. Without any drugs, I have 15 follies growing. They sent me for a blood test and are calling me back after having a chat, but they are likely to suggest turning this cycle into what they call "natural modified" - basically a few days of drugs to give my hormone levels a boost. For all my desire to keep things natural, it does seem a shame to waste what seems like an opportunity. I wonder if this is what happened in the last but one cycle when I just couldn't figure out what was going on. I had loads of EWCM, loads of pre-ov pains, but I couldn't identify ov itself. Maybe my body produced loads of follies but couldn't manage to produce enough hormones to pop them all.

blimey euro 15 sounds a lot. How do you feel about having drugs? Would you want multiple eggs collected?

mrsd I think I will handle it better without ages to dwell on it, so having this sort of sprung on me mid-cycle actually helps. The drugs would be relatively low dose and only for a few days, so I think I can hack it. We were contemplating a mild cycle next if this natural one didn't work anyway, so it is just bringing that forward.

That sound very sensible euro. You can definitely hack a few days of the drugs. 15 does seem remarkable!

My cycle is all over the place too mrsd. has always been spotty and awkward but this one's different. lots of bleeding around what was probably ov. now I'm back on the drugs there will be no normal until after the next ivf cycle. at least if af has arrived you can move on to the next one and i bet it will be more straightforward.

gin i am so happy for Friday too. productivity around here is zilch.

cat programme might make me nervous. i always find cats look a bit too intelligent, like they're plotting a coup and waiting for their chance to overthrow the humans...... dogs just seem stupidly loving or just mine did

Back to work. more later.

I have always thought that cats think they are superior to humans, they do a good job of having us run around after them maybe I am just under Kaylas paw too much

euro sounds like a good plan, stimming is nothing like DR so you will be fine with the drugs

it's true that dogs have owners and cats have staff I'm coming back as a cat.

I felt quite good when stimming euro how many follies would they normally expect to see? I know that there is quite a few early on in the cycle and then one takes over and the others stop growing. Did they give a reason why there would be more than they expected to see?

They think it's a post-mc thing. Certainly my cycles have been noticeably different since then. I'm on day 5. Last time, at my first scan on day 6 I had 9 follies but 4 of them were small. This time I have 15 all of a similar size. Much as I dislike drugs, cutting down the number of times I have to go through EC would be very welcome.

How weird Euro. It just goes to show that the body is still very much it's own "being". Doctors love to talk in absolutes. We will give you this drug and Y will happen. I kind of like that your body is having its own little fight back!

Art lovely to see you. 8 weeks, wow!! It's hard to imagine if my first round had worked I'd be at the same stage. I'm sorry you had scares though. I hope it's all plain sailing from now on .

Will try to catch up on the rest later x

Sar I still find your story unbelievable, it makes me think we should never trust doctors again! Imagine if you'd taken their advice? So pleased your scan went well. You really are back in the land of the normals, I hope you can start to relax and enjoy it all. Thanks for your comments. I just wish I could find my own 'dr tubes' (as I'm sure a few of us do!) I'm just not sure what the issue is, maybe it's a combination of things.

Euro wowsers 15 follies on your own, I think your body is really trying its hardest to make this happen! I think great thinking to capitalise on it and try to get more embryos out of it than you would have otherwise. I think last time with the drugs it was the downregging ones that made you spin out wasn't it? Hopefully these ones will feel ok, especially if you're not taking much.

Nelly I loved your shower story... And erm rather impressed at your acrobatic ness ...surely a soap holder shelf is quite high up on the wall of a shower...?! My Ivf dr told me he was going to give me progesterone injections this time, did you have these?

Mrsden that link was interesting. I've been reading similar stuff in a free download by iva keene (shes on youtube) but I just find it impossible to follow this stuff 100% of the time and it becomes something to beat yourself up with at the end of each month. If only we could know how much of this stuff works vs what doctors say! And yes Ivf drugs are full on, it can take a couple of months for things to calm down afterwards, you're def not broken and you still got af right?

Pout re getting stressed and finding it hard to sleep have you ever tried meditation CDs? Mindfulness meditation? I was very sceptical at first but it does help.

Mad when do you find out if you cycle in July or aug? I've always bled a lot around ov, no dr has ever been interested but I wonder what that's all about? I bleed lots before af too.

Lemon good luck with this Ivf cycle. Whereabouts are you in the cycle?

Buzzy great news about the scan. How long till the next one?

Princess and Art wow so close, good luck and come back and tell us how it all goes. Art so sorry you've had those scares that must have been terrifying at this late stage. I like your day at a time philosophy. So glad everything looks good now.

Rabbit it's a minefield isn't it cos we need drs opinions but they have little idea how much what they say can affect us plus they say different things all the time. In your situation DH would be telling me to see the nhs one first and see what they do and what they say and then take it from there. Getting private appts tends to be quicker, can't recall if that's the case here? You made it cos of the delay in nhs didn't you? Is that now earlier than you thought? It doesn't matter what your af count is, look at art and doll they didn't get loads of eggs but it worked.

Waves Sea, Gin, Doll and anyone else I missed.

Afm we're just arranging to have the 3 frozen embryos we have stored at the clinic in London courierd down to the other clinic on the south coast where the other 1 is. I need to contact the courier to ask them to collect them. So bizarre.