TRC 10+ months. Part 15...

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers. 14 was awesome so another like that please!

ohhh nelly tell us more about the shower and the broken property. I know what you mean about being second fiddle. The grandchildren are very much the priority in my family as are their parents. I was very hurt a while ago when I found out my mum and grandmother had passed on much of their jewellery to my nieces (their mum's until they're old enough). When I asked why I hadn't received anything my mum's response was that I didn't have anyone to pass it on to and that she'd saved something for if I have a daughter. That made me feel like shit.

doll how are you? When do you move? Is littledoll excited about becoming a big brother? Is it a boy you're having?

nelly Ftc is very apt. I'm not ttc except when we're having ivf because there is so little chance of natural conception. I think ivf has broken me. I'm pretty sure I haven't ovulated and I'm on CD20 something now. My skin is very oily, spot break out on my chin and cheeks and on the top of my back, yuk. So the hormones are obviously not happy. I'm terrified to think I might have grown another cyst and might need a lap again.

euro how do you feel about starting ivf again? Are you feeling excited? I can't decide if I'm going to be excited or actually dreading the next go.

you know if this is your month nelly we will have identified the magic answer to infertility.

mrsd right now I am in PMT hell. I sometimes get a bit shivery and panicky pre-period, and I feel like that today. It had eased off a lot before the mc, I think due to the supplements, better diet, acu or some combination of these, but the mc seems to have acted like a "reset" in a number of ways - later ov, more CM and more PMT, all back to the way they were a few years ago.

mrsd is right, nelly. If you manage to get upduffed this month, you will be responsible for a lot of shower sechs injuries!

Like doll said, sex in the shower, what's that? The shower is for washing said with stern and withering look to MrP when he comes over all fruity
Seriously boggling nelly at what the "property damage" might be and imagining a shower screen propped up against the bath!

mrsd I am actually shocked at the jewellery thing. That is quite something and I can well understand why you would have felt hurt. That has been a feature of all this for me. I have been utterly shocked by the insensitivity of most of the people who are supposed to love MrP and I. I told my mother a few days ago about the failed IVF and just got "oh dear, I wondered whether you had had it" and literally skipped straight on to more of her news. MrP was trying to make me feel better by saying how people simply don't understand and therefore can't empathise. I personally feel that this is a crock. Afterall all they have to do is imagine a life where they didn't have their own DCs and bingo, there you have it. Empathy for the infertile ought to be easy.

I'm liking the new FTC tag. That sums it up. Like you mrsd I have pondered that perhaps not everyone on here will get their BFP and really do think I will be in that minority & propose a 10 Plussers Survivors thread for when that time comes.

lemons How come you are on the pill? Is that part of your IVF protocol?

buzzy I am thinking of you and was so happy to read that your digi had changed and that Kayla is back to not normal normal IYSWIM!

x-posted euro Sorry about the hellish PMT.

mrsd It is strange how peoples cycles seem to be altered by IVF. I feel that mine are still fooked and am not 100% convinced that I have ovulated since. Nothing is how it was. Shorter cycles that don't match up with when I think I've ovulated, numerous patches of EWCM starting really early, no ovulation pain. All quite worrying really.

Pout, I really think this is an issue where people can't emphasise for some reason. I think people think its just a bit frustrating, and I think some people think its like how they felt for two months before they got pregnant on the third cycle. I know one in six are supposed to have problems, but I don't really believe that stat. I think that includes a lot of people who got pregnant within 18 months which I no longer consider a long time. So, infertility is pretty rare, and we don't talk about it. I'm guilty of that I don't want to talk about it openly with friends, it's my life and I don't want every aspect of it to talked about by friends and family.

Yeah, I'm not sure about that one in six stat either.

mrsd I am at the comment about handing down things, even if you had a something it would be down to you to decide who you passed it onto. I have to say MIL treats her boys equally, I do at times think she mothers BIL a bit more but then thats because I think hes a bit um on the scale, not that MIL would admit that but there is something about him
What if you have boys?? Why can't she pass it on to you as you are her child!!! and then if you didn't have kids pass them onto your nieces??

To be honest I would be asking if they had me just so I could produce a grandchild for them?? I would be upset by this and I most certainly would be letting her know in nice calm manner that this wasn't acceptable behaviour and that it was hurtful and disrespectful. To be honest they are probably not aware of what they are doing

euro sorry about the PMT hell

nelly you little animal you, all Barry gets is me snapping his head off down the phone followed by a sorry text I can relate to the feeling that it would never happen to me and I would be left on the thread by myself, but things do happen, would you not consider just going to DE as your chances would be higher ??

doll hello, sounds like its all systems go where you are

pout Kayla has been hard work the last few days, very clingy and high maintenance, not eating her food etc etc, I know my cycles took time to calm down and they did change after my miscarriages, my ovulation went from cd 16-17 to cd 12 are you closer to a start date??

it's so quiet on here, our thread is in danger of disappearing of the first page. London people - do you have any recommendations for afternoon tea? A friend here has asked me to recommend somewhere but I haven't a clue. They also want to try fish and chips and pie and mash and a big greasy breakfast

A 22 year old told me yesterday that she wants a baby, and is trying to persuade her boyfriend. She's 10 years younger than me and she's going to get pregnant before me isn't she? Oh well. I'm still waiting for AF, fairly certain I haven't ovulated this month.

Waves to everyone, hope the silence is an indication that all is well.

Lemons - wishing you lots of luck for this cycle. I am really excited for you.

Euro - sorry for the pmt. Must be nearly ec time??

Den -that jewelry story is awful. How mean and insensitive. Gosh, I think you should go out and buy yourself some major jewles of your own. Dont lose hope though sweetheart.

Nelly -it makes me sad to hear how you are feeling, I can identify with how you are feeling. Not so long a go, my chances according to some werent very good. That was hard to come to terms with. Things can and do change. I was at a children's birthday party yesterday and met a couple who had 3 failed full rounds of ivf but then fell pregnant naturally and they were over 45. Theyhad been trying since their 20s. Every month there is a chance but I know there is a balance to strike with not feeling like ttc is dominating everything. The cp wasa small step forward. Its a case of waiting for the golden embryo. By the way, your shower antics sound fun. I too am imagining a shower door swung off its tracks.

Pout -sorry your cycles have been haywire. I guess it would be nice to see them settle prior to fet.. I can recommend reflexology as a way to regulate ovulation and cycle length. Not sure it is your cup of tea but certainly seems to help many women.

Buzz - I hope that you have felt more settled. I dont think you are going to feel out of the woods until about week 20. But take each day as it comes. Poor kayla. Hope you arent feeling too icky.

Critter - how are is the nausea? Hope you are doing ok.

Sweet - I am over 12 weeks now and the nausea started at week 6. Hope you are doing ok. The heartbeat monitor option instead of paying for an early scan sounds like a good plan.

Rabbit -I hope you are feeling more settled. This rollercoaster we are on often finds new twists and turns to throw us even more. Big big hugs.

Heard about a birth recently of what was an a- announcement a few months a go. I was surprised to find I felt awkward/panicky about the news which i know sounds strange considering my own pregnancy. But I think it just goes to show the deep wounds tttc leaves. I am ridiculously grateful to be pregnant but a slice of me still feels vulnerable I guess. Hope that makes sense.

My nausea had been easing up this last week and I had a near normal day yesterday and actually managed to do stuff. Stil there a little but its more manageble.

Hello to all you lovely ladies. Hope the sunshine has made us all feel a smidging better.

Den- x posts. Don't worry about thec22 year old. She may well get updiffed soon. But, do you know what, you don't want her baby nor her life. Your own baby is the goal here and if that takes a bit longer, well the bedst things come to those who wait. Would you too consider reflexology yo help kick start regular ovulation? Again, not sure its your thing but it can help I have found.

Morning ladies. I hope that it's the sunshine too. I spent yesterday doing DIY and eating ice cream at the park. It is all about the gala days in Scotland just now and the weather for it yesterday was incredible. Had a BBQ in the garden with a pregnant neighbour and it wasn't too bad. I envy them their enthusiastic innocence but I wasn't feeling too stabby or sorry for myself.

mrsd I wasn't ready for a baby at 22 and I am sure MrM wouldn't have been. We are such a strong unit as a couple now and I think that was how it was meant to be for us. Friends who rushed into parenthood seem to have struggled with their relationships under the pressure of raising small children. That is probably all overgeneralised bollocks but it makes me feel better so I'm sticking to it.

sarglad to hear tht you are feeling a bit better. Onwards and upwards from here . I think years of feeling anxious about other people's pregnancies will take time to fade.

nelly I hope you spent the day yesterday outside enjoying the sunshine and that you are feeling a bit better. We may all be being a bit quiet at the moment but when you feel like you need to talk again you know where to find us.

pout I am excited for your fet. I hope that you are too.

euro any news?? You must be up and running any day now.

buzzy I am assuming no news is good news and you are still taking it one day at a time. Still thinking of you.

lemons I still have lots of little glass bottles to show the ridiculous amount of stimulating drugs I pumped into myself. I hope that the fridge full of drugs is making you feel optimistic. I have a good feeling about ivf for you xx

As for me I am waiting for Af to arrive so I can call the clinic again. They might still make me wait until my next cycle to start the downregging (since the mid cycle bleeding confused the issue) but I'm hoping they'll do it next week. Would be nice to be able to plan out our summer holidays knowing when we need to be home for injections. MrM really wants to book a short sunny break and I think that we need it before throwing ourselves back into ivf in August. Big waves to you all and hopefully the thread will get back on track soon. More stories like nelly's shower antics might make it a happier place to be .

mrsd I'm also stunned about the handing down comments. How heartless.

For posh afternoon tea (not cheap) she wants to look at Fortnum & Mason, the Savoy, the Ritz and the other trad hotels I would say. For a fry up, the best place will probably be the hotel she is staying in (unless staying with friends?). I have no particular recommendation for fish and chips in the centre (we have an amazing chippy out here where we live) but most pubs and restaurants (not posh) will have it, particularly on a Friday. For pie and mash, I've never been, but this place is rated and it's in touristy Greenwich: www.goddardsatgreenwich.co.uk/. You probably know some of this, but I hope it helps!

sar I'm glad the nausea is easing. I'm not surprised you are still affected by announcements - you were in the "infertile" mindset for so long, it's going to take you (and all of us) a while to shake off that way of thinking.

My temperature dropped off a cliff this morning. I'm 12 dpo, so expecting AF tonight, tomorrow. And then I'll be cycling again. It would have been nice to have got a surprise natural BFP but realistically, that was never going to happen, so here we go again!

Hello all. Hope you are having nice weekends. We've been busy with family, but now have a day to ourselves and I am finally getting my highlights done, wohoo - take that grey hairs!

pout and mrsd my cycles were def different after the ivf, but must have been ok, despite not seeming to be. I ovulated really late the first few cycles after ivf (with several patches of ewcm) and my periods were very very heavy and gushy CD 1 and 2. Everything will be fine, I guess it's just our bodies readjusting.

mrsd I was horrified by the jewellery story too. Do you think they'd be any more understanding if they knew your situation?! As for afternoon tea, I would thoroughly recommend the Cadogen Hotel, near Sloane Square. It's not too pricey, but nice and traditional, with lots of yummy cakes!

euro hope the pmt has eased a little. As mentioned above, I found ivf altered my cycles - after the 1st lot, I had 28 day cycles and then after the 2nd it went to 32 day cycles, with later ov! Lots and lots of good luck with this cycle. I'll be thinking of you.

buzzy I'm still tightly holding your hand.

lemons hope everything is going well with the ivf cycle.

sar pleased to hear you are feeling a little better! My nausea has changed - it tends to just be first thing and then late afternoon/evening, giving me some time of feeling normal. However today I feel like shite. Guess there will be good days and bad days until it goes.

Sex in the shower nellie?! What's sex??

mad your weekend sounds lovely. As does a sunny break somewhere. I found lots of nice treats really helped last year. I hope af stops playing silly buggers and you can get started with the meds.

Waves and luffs to everyone else. Sorry to hear of people feeling their chances of winning a baybee are zero. I can't put into words how much that felt like me after 2 failed cycles and 4 supposedly good embryos failing. I felt like ivf worked for everyone, except me. There was an outbreak of successes on the ivf fred, but rather than giving me hope, it made me feel like a freak for whom ivf didn't work. . I remember someone saying on here that they were told that those that don't give up get their baby and for me that has been the case, but it is v dependent on situation and if you can keep putting yourself through it all (and finances in my case).

I like nellie's idea of non ttc chat. My exciting news is that after 2 years, I have finally been given a council allotment! We're going to visit it tonight. Dave isn't happy, as it's not great timing and he thinks that means it may involve some work for him, but I'm already planning what veggies I can get in so late in the season :)

Morning lovelies! I am still here and posting to show that thread death is not imminent! I've (my iPhone changes that to ivf now ) been licking Aplus wounds this week and also I've been making the most of the sunshine. Off out now so no time to name check. It's been a long time since I've needed summer clothes at work so off to scout some out. Lets all talk about random sunshine stuff. I made nigellas black and blue beef on the BBQ yesterday and it was ace!

(Ill be back..after all tis cuntryfile day)

X post euro. I too would recommend Goddards pie shop! It's moved sites, but I used to frequent it. It was v spit and sawdust, but amazing pies and crumbles, all really cheap. I never managed the double pie and mash though... Greenwich has lots to do too - pubs, museums, riverside walks. Argh, I sound like their tourist board. I used to work get pissed in Greenwich.

Hope the witch shows soon euro and you can get started on the next cycle ASAP. You have a real chance with this cycle.

thanks for the recommendations gin and euro it's years since I lived in London so I can't really remember much and then people ask me for recommendations because I'm English and think I'm a bit stupid when I say I don't really know anywhere. This is a good friend though and she was so kind to me when I first moved here that I want to try and help her out. I think I've maybe been to Goddards before ahhh I'm dreaming about pie and mash now. What would you recommend in Greenwich then gin? Is it possible to get a river boat down to Greenwich these days? She really likes food so I was going to suggest Borough market too.

gin I've said it before but your story does make me feel much more optimistic. I really hope it's just a matter of giving it enough shots. I'm sorry you still feel rough though, how many weeks are you now? Have you told everyone now?

sar how many weeks are you? Yours really is a miracle story. Just think how miserable you felt at Christmas and now you've cracked it.

The jewelery thing isn't a big deal really. Mum has saved me things, but I'm not getting them yet there was no intention to be hurtful, I'm sure of that.

I'm not jealous of the 22 year old, it's just that I remember her being born and I never thought she'd be pregnant before me. I would have hated to have been pregnant at that age, I was far too young and I think you have some of your best experiences in your twenties which you can't have with children.

Today it's raining after a week of sunshine. I should have known it was too good to last. I'm meeting up with a friend later for a bike ride and a beer or three.

mrsd re: boats, there are tourist cruises but the cheapest way is to use the thames clipper service to get up and down the river. When I lived near Canary Wharf, I used to take the boat to work sometimes - such a nice start to the day.

www.thamesclippers.com/

Borough market is a good call. I think it's on Thursday and Friday with Saturday as the main day?

Enjoy your bike ride. We are jet washing the garden and oiling the wood furniture today (having sanded it all yesterday). I should really go for a run this morning, but I'm not in the mood. Maybe later...

thanks euro travelling to work by boat sounds very civilised. Jet washing the garden?? Will you have any plants left?

We'll leave the plants dirty, mrsd. Jet washing appeals to my OCD tendancies. It's cleaning the outside

you can come and do my garden then, and the house please I need to clean the windows which takes bloody hours because of their humongous size. I also have to clean the bathrooms today, hoover, and have a pile of ironing which has been staring at me for a week. I keep finding something else important to do like posting here

mrsd yes the clipper boats are great! Your friend could do Borough Market and then get the train from London bridge/boat to Greenwich. The Trafalgar is a nice riverside pub in Greenwich and there's the Cutty Sark (and a nice pub of the same name) or National Maritime Museum to visit. They also have a market on at weekends in the centre, but Greenwich is super busy at weekends. Ahh, happy memories of the old place. We still have friends who live in the area, so visit a lot.

I'm 13 weeks, which feels totally surreal and yes we've now pretty much told everyone. Telling people is actually quite hard, almost like having to tell people about the ivf. It's an odd mix of not wanting to jinx it, not wanting to upset anyone who may be ttc, trying not to sob as I say the word 'pregnant' and finally everything being out in the open! Please please do take hope from our situation if you can. And have a beer or two for me today.

Sanding and washing sounds likes exercise enough to me euro [lazy face]

Waves to rabbit

That's amazing that you're 13 weeks already gin. I know it probably seems like an eternity for you but it only seems like 5 mins ago that you got your bfp. What have people's reactions been like? Do they understand how big a deal this is if they know your situation?

Great suggestions for London, thank you. I'm going to write them down for my friend.

Loving all the London chat. i adore borough market but hardly ever in London long enough or with cooking facilities to make the most of it. Our friends live close by so we always make the effort to go.

euro my garden is fairly tidy thanks to MrM but my car is filthy. it is on the weekend to do list.

My diy has been painting the front door. i hate gloss paint but it is looking lovely.

gin i am so of your allotment. MrM keeps saying the list here is too long but we'll never get to the top if our names aren't on the list!

Have forgotten everything else i was going to say.... sun added brain i guess. heading out on the bike with MrM running along side. Much better than running myself