TRC 10+ months. Part 15...

[MuddyWellyNelly]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers. 14 was awesome so another like that please!

buzzy a heartbeat is brilliant news. Hang on in there. About IVF babies measuring smaller, they wouldn't tell you that if it wasn't true. Take heart that at this point all is looking good.

gin I am chuffed to bits that your scan went so well.

rabbits I am so glad that you got the all clear, that is a relief. Not fair though that you have had to deal with this on top of everything.
I am sorry that AF turned up, especially on your stressful day (so bloody typical) and can understand that after no spotting and a longer than usual cycle you had dared to wish. Those cycles are the toughest and no wonder you feel down. Do take heart though that it will be a whole new ovulation window again very, very soon and this cycle won't be on your radar. That's the only thought that stops me going postal these days.

critter I admit that the thought of mashed potato for breakfast made my stomach lurch!

I also don't think that I said to you euro how I was so glad that your results were clear too. That's very good news and so glad that you can press on with the IVF as planned.

Sorry about all the sadness on here today. It's funny I was saying to MrP (triggered by a family announcement that should be happy...not baby related) about how since all this futile TTC I am afraid of real life. I don't want to interact with people because I am frightened of pregnancy announcements, of being around families with young children that just magnifies our loss and generally afraid of other peoples happiness when my own life feels so empty and like it is spiralling out of control. I feel so much safer closeted away with just MrP. I know it's not healthy but it is my only coping mechanism.

Anyway, enough doom and gloom from me. Lots of hugs to you all.

pout Well she wasn't sure where she had heard that about IVF babies but I've done a bit of googling and having a tilted uterus doesn't help either, all I can do is hang on until next week, Kayla has been very snuggly again, I'm hoping this is a good sign

there does seem to be alot of sadness on here

That's better news Buzzy. Today you are pregnant. One day at a time .

Just popping in quickly to say buzz that's great news. My bean was measuring at the furthest small end of the normal size scale, measuring only 5.8mm at 6+5. The nurse said they are v difficult to measure as they are so curled prawn like early on and as you are working with such tiny measurements. All they are looking for is a heartbeat and if they see this at week 6, there's a 75% chance of getting a baby at the end! My bean is now slap bang in the middle of the size chart, so please try not to worry (hollow laugh, the size thing totally fuelled my mentalling). The best thing you can do now, is try to relax (hollow laugh again)

Luffs to everyone else, esp those of you feeling sad. I found/still find infertility v isolating too.

Buzz- what a rollercoaster, but a heart beat is a great sign. Hang on in there.

Rabbit -so sorry gor the ongoing sadness. It is wonderful that you got the all clear and a longer spot free cycle. But I know that looming and heavy feeling that you talk about. I have drifted from friends too and found the years of treatment and waiting exhausting. Sending you hugs and iceceam.

Pout- you too. Sorry for the gloomy feelings. Ivf often doesn't work first time. Hang in there, you make great embryos.

Euro -it is fantastic that you got good results. You are owed some good luck. I always admire your practical and resourceful attitude.

Critter- you do have my sympathies. Go with whatever you can eat. Digestive biscuits, crackers, pitta bread are good stand by snacks. But it is such an individual thing that these might sound horrendous to you. Take good care and rest/eat as you need to.

gin thanks I know you mean well, but I'm not comforted by stats, by 10 weeks I had about a 4% chance of miscarriage, that is exactly what happened, I had a 1 in 350 chance of them perforating my uterus during the ERPC, I have been that stat as well, if the baby keeps growing slowly then there is a high chance that there is a problem and that is what I have to be honest about with myself, I won't know until next week

i'm hoping my symptoms have gone hopefully due to me taking a Cyclizine

Buzzy - I hope that the stats will work in your favor for once. The heartbeat sounds fantastic.

Gin - I'm glad the scan went well! How many weeks are you at now?

Critter - The mashed potatoes for breakfast made me gag. But as Sar and my nurse said eat whatever works for now.

Sar - Are you feeling any less sick?

Rabbit - I'm sorry about the recent sadness. AF has the habit of showing up at the worst moments. The longer spotting-free cycle sounds promising.

Pout- I understand how infertility issues can be so isolating. It is hard to be around young children and it's even worse when you get an announcement. I think we all protect ourselves as best we can, but it is hard.

Euro - I saw that your tests went well. I'm glad you can now move forward with your IVF as planned. I have to say I really admire your clear-headed and practical approach.

Big hugs and chocolate to anyone who is sad. Waves and hello to anyone I have missed. I took some time off mumsnet because I needed to focus on getting more work done. I can now actively work towards being a better 10 plusser.

My only update is that DH and I are waiting until the 12+1 appointment (June 21) to see if the Dr uses a doppler to hear a heartbeat so we can decide if its worth paying for the ultrasound.

Morning lovel ladies,

Sorry I've been a bad 10+er. I am now officially in IVF-territory and my veg-drawer is full of drucks to prove it. and help.

Yay for the heart beat buzzy. I really hope it works out I hate stats, with my exceedingly good hcg I had a 4% chance of MC, after having a similar chance of getting pregnant that round, as SB's sample was a bit rubbish that time, both of those came to be Try to take it one day at a time. A heart is a Very Good Thing.

Good luck to the sickly differs, it will pass and then you can all bloom. And soon for some. Exciting about 12+1 being round the corner, sweet.

So sorry about your scare rabbit. That sounds terrible. Glad you're in the clear though!

buzzy heartbeat is good. Have a paw to hold while you wait it out and step away from the stats.
euro I'm doing good. I've got 8 weeks left at work. Due 13 or 19 August depends who you speak to.
pout I can identify with what you say. Sometimes you just need to be with the one person that understands, and cope with the basics. I hope you will feel better soon.
I'm trying my best to support a friend through her 3rd MC in 14 mths. They know why it is happening (gene translocation) but it doesn't help the longing. Or that she is surrounded by preggos and new babies.
Big hugs for those of you that need them.

Your poor friend, TW. :(

8 weeks is no time at all! Has the pregnancy been fairly easy so far or have you been suffering with SPD and the like?

Re: stats, I have always been Ms Average. If 51% or more of people think something or do something, I have always been in the majority. Until ttc when I suddenly find myself in the minority of folks who are in the 5% who take longer than 2 years to conceive. I guess I had to end up outside the majority at some point. SImilarly 15-25% of pregnancies miscarry. Again, I am in that minority. Can I go back to being Ms Average, please?

So close TW wow! It must be exciting!

Sorry about the multiple MC-friend. Mine of the same type (5 MC, before child 1) had her second baby last week. I felt genuinely happy and I cannot wait til I snuggle with the little person.

Somehow euro I have my doubts about your averageness, in the nicest possible way of course!

Oh no, I really really didn't mean to make anyone feel worse or dredge up bad memories with my heartbeat stat. I'm so sorry. It was something that I found helpful, but do understand that when you've been on the wrong end of the stat, it won't help. Even though it gave me some comfort, a bit of me did think well we're in the 1% of the population (or whatever it is) with severe male factor infertility. But big apologies if that made anyone feel worse and please just ignore it. It was utterly not my intention to upset anyone.

lemons lots of good luck with the ivf! Is it LP or SP? Hope you are feeling ok with it all and excited rather than anything else.

I too agree euro that you are far from miss average in many ways - in the best possible way I mean of course!

teu your poor friend. I can't imagine having been through 3 MCs in such a short space of time. I really hope she gets there eventually.

grouch I genuinely couldn't have waited any longer than 12 weeks for my scan! You sound much more balanced than me! Does that mean that downs testing isn't normally offered?

pout I know exactly how you feel. I used to dread pub trips in case there was an announcement or someone would ask about our situation. I used to force myself to go and it was normally ok. During actual treatment though I became a total hermit. I couldn't face 'normals' or the idea of shooting up in a pub loo...

Waves to sar and everyone else. I'm a snot monster today, but luckily am working from home, so it doesn't matter if I drip snot everywhere!

teu wow you are working up to the end, if I get that far then I plan to go on Mat leave as soon as I can so sorry to hear about your friend was it an early loss or later on, speaking from experience, seeing preggy people when you've miscarried is hard and painful, is she down under or over here?? Just make contact with her and let her know you are thinking of her and that you understand that seeing you might be difficult right now but you are there for her. Maybe send flowers?? She will know that it is difficult for you too but she will be thinking about her loss right now.

gin we all know you didn't mean anything by the comment but I'm usually on the wrong end of stats and have yet to be proven wrong, only time will tell

grouch 12 weeks are coming up fast :)

well thanks to the progesterone and steroids I am eating like a horse, I've already put on 4 kilos I'll be clinically obese before the end of the trimester

That is great news about the heartbeat buzz, although I understand why you can't feel reassured yet.

I too want to be average again euro. The percentage of people who take over 3 years to conceive is tiny. As gin said, the percentage with severe male factor is tiny, I know someone has to be the person but gah how I wish it wasn't me. I really want to feel normal, and I don't feel normal anymore. I feel like a freak that can't do the most basic thing in the world. And like buzzy i will now always assume I'm in the small number of people that bad things happen to if I do get pregnant, which I doubt very much is a possibility at the moment.

Pout what you had written is exactly how I feel.

I hope joy is having a wonderful holiday.

A heartbeat is get buzz and i think one day at a time is a good mantra. having had a later loss is going to weigh on your mind but you need to find a way to preserve your sanity through this. perhaps a return to some real life support like your life coach or a counsellor, especially if Barry is going to be away? I will keep everything crossed.

Funny how a rush of bfps for others on thread (gin, buzzy, Sar, sweet, critter not to forget doll teuchter and princess of course - have i missed any?) doesn't seem to be giving the rest of us faith that we can get there too. I guess we're all still afraid of being the last ones here?

I have been loving the good weather but failing to maintain my exercise regime.... will resume on the weekend in a continuing attempt to be happier with myself for the next ivf round. we can't make big holiday plans until we know when i need to be here for injections but booking some long weekends so we have things to look forward to.

Not a name checky post this morning but big sunny waves to you all xx

*get should read great

buzz and gin - fingers crossed. Fingers crossed for us all. I am still lurking.

Mad, I do take some hope from the rush of bfps but I've got a very pessimistic view of ttc now, so I still think it won't happen and that it's unlikely all of us on this thread will get pregnant. I expect I'll be the last one here. Sorry, I don't mean that to sound so doom and gloom. I'm actually not as down as I probably sound. The summer is packed full of fun things and I'm some way down the road of accepting that we will give up ttc some time next year, I never thought I'd get to that point. Life without children will be fine, it won't be the life I'd imagined and its not the life family and friends expect from us but it will be fine.

Evening lovely ladies!

Hang on in there buzz. I am so hoping all will be okay.

I am switching between some faith from the recent wins, like you madness and sadness and expecting it not to be... It is now getting quite difficult to imagine us with a child. I am getting better at seeing other people's without the stabby pain. Although the colleague at work is now nearly 14 weeks, and has managed to tell half the world with me present and that has been fairly stabby.

Oh well. Despite my intentions for a sober IVF-traject, we've been to the pub in the later afternoon sun and might have partaken some alcoholic beverages... But I can't get diffed this month, I just took the pill . I am finding beer gardens much more appealing than jogging too madness. But I am determined to keep my fitness levels up to and through IVF...

mad I did see my life coach on Saturday, more for a pep/friendly talk which was nice, I don't want to go back to counselling as I feel that will just focus on on the past, I will worry until the day I have the baby in my arms, I worry everyday my symptoms changing, like today I will feel better when I get off the drugs
long weekends sound good :)

lemon one of the women I work with is about 7 months pregnant and knows I've had problems, she still manages to say things in front of me that are rather stabby

its been very quiet on here, I miss you guys . . .

It's the sunshine, Buzzy :) Hope you are doing ok, have been thinking of you a lot.

Much as I love to hear of everyone's successes, I don't take any comfort from them. I know I've said this loads before, but I really do feel that, for most of you (all of you really!), IVF is the answer (Male factor, PCOS, tubes, no ovulation, unexplained) but for me there isn't an answer. It's either going to be luck or not at all. Doll probably had the closest situation to mine, but I've already had the second unsuccessful cycle and to be honest I don't even think of the CP as a near success any more. That's kind of why I'm not on here so much at the moment; I can't bear to think of TTC. It's too painful as it's now FTC (failing to conceive).

We've actually just had a family squabble, not on my side; and a little bit at the heart of it is MrN and I getting fed up playing second fiddle to the fertile branch. So we've started being a bit more selfish and saying "fuck it, we don't have kids, lets just do what we want". This extends to having 2 holidays booked. So it's not all bad.

and there may be a story involving sex in the shower and a bit of property damage, but I'm not going to put that on the internet. Oh dear I just did .

Anyway general waves and luffs to all, sorry I too have been a bad 10+er. I wish we could all just chat away about life in general, and it not be focused around the thing we are all a bit rubbish at!

loves to you nelly Second fiddle to the fertiles, I hear you. We are away from family so has been exposed over the years professionally. The amount of Christmases we stayed in 'cause colleagues were taking little jonny to see his granny I don't want to count. I tie myself up in knots about it now though and it kills me now to leave work to do nursery pick up when my child free colleague is still working. I get things none in the early morning or evening or stay on if there's an emergency but I just hate to look like I hold other people hostage to my choices. Sex in the shower, no don't know what that is.

Nelly you can come on here and tell us all about your sex in the shower, that would lift the mood quite effectively. I have had the second fiddle to fertiles feeling, even though my parents have been through it themselves and they try hard, the grandchildren always come first. Except when I had miscarried and collapsed in heaps of tears all the time, mum was there then. In fact, my in-laws are particularly shit at this and expect us to bend over backwards to accomodate. But SB and I have the f*ck that approach too. Hols, ignoring family dos, etc. Although we've not managed any property damage

Waves at doll. Strange to be on the other side of the fence and knowing so well what it's like on the FTC (I like the acronym, it sums up how it feels, around 3yrs in) side. Don't worry though, I am sure you're good about it and your colleague does not mind or hate you

nelly you fox!

doll! Always lovely to hear from you.

buzz I've been busy and don't have much to say at the moment, fertility-wise. I'm quite PMT-y today, so just waiting for my period to start, then I can call the clinic and book my first scan. How are you feeling?

The shower was all Mr N's idea.

Him: Do you want company?
Me: Not really I still have to shave my legs