The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

[Bunnygirlie]

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

Are you sure she wasn't just worried about telling you and was trying to put it off for as long as possible? Then her DH posted on fb without her knowing?

yorkie yes that is most plausible answer, just makes me sad that she would still have to keep it from me.

Right, I'm just going to bit the bullet and text her with my congrats. Oh and btw she is a classic instadiffer as she only told me 4 months ago she was thinking about ttc again!

OMG as is today isn't bad enough, my other pregnant friend has just posted a pic of her bump!!!!

blind hugs

kitty totally understand. Have a hug I have also cried many a FB-announcement induced tear. I expect she didn't tell you because she didn't want to upset you - yes, this is stupid because it's hardly something she's going to be able to keep secret for long but she probably thought she was doing it for the best. People (in my experience) are very awkward when it comes to lack of fertility and don't know what to say/do, it's still a bit of a taboo isn't it? I'm open about the fact we're failing trying, so people think I won't want to hold their baby or see them when they've got a bump! (And sometimes they're right, but life goes on..)

And bump pics: gaaaaaah xxxx

peanut thank you. DH has just had a go at me for feeling like this so tears have started yet again. All I wanted was a bit of fucking sympathy. I can't put a brave face on all of the time

Well you can have it in spades from us. Here, have some chocolate cake as well as some

Boo to blind DH for being unsympathetic. Mine is too when I get upset about his pg niece. I think part of it is that he hates seeing me upset but feels powerless to do anything about it so it upsets his male chest-beating will-protect-my-woman ego. He then takes it out on me for undermining his ego. And here endeth the amateur psychology lesson...

Thanks everyone for the good wishes. My dad is much better. Just popping in to see him again now.

blind it's hard when people are insensitive. I'm staying with my db and sil while visiting dad and she's pg with their second so it's all baby chat although not too bad as knowing she had a couple of mc before this I know she's trying to be sensitive to the lack of an announcement from us yet.

Update on the ferret - vet thinks it's just a bug rather than something more serious. didn't update yesterday as struggled through birthday BBQ in sub with migraine coming and then crashed into bed. I managed to hide away from mist if the babies there too.
bajas I'm so glad your dad is a bit better.

Hi Berries!

Bajas, catching up on the reading from the weekend! Sorry to hear your dad was ill but pleased to read he is doing better now. Sorry to the others who are TTC whilst also having to worry about the health of other family members - that must be really difficult.

Tally, glad the furry one isn't suffering with anything too serious!

Blind, there's something particularly painful about pregnancy announcements/sonogram pics/bump photos on FB. I think it's just the shock of scrolling down and suddenly seeing them. I have considered a pre-emptive strike of hiding 'likely-to-get-pregnant' friends on there, but then I know I'll end up hearing about it at a social gathering or something like that, which will be so much worse.

Going back to the oversharing on Friday night (and I do apologise, because this is NOT Sunday afternoon conversation) I pretty much always orgasm just after DH does. The cervical dipping hasn't exactly helped the TTC cause so far...

Lots and lots of you seem to be trying acupuncture/reflexology. I did briefly flirt with acu last year, but I was so embarrassed by having to get my fat legs out, I only had one session. Have suffered far more humiliation since then, so perhaps I should go back? I don't want to at the moment though as I want all my upcoming tests to be the absolute reality. After that though, maybe...which one though? Acu or reflexology? Hmmm!

Berries, my temp chart is being confusing again. Last month I ovulated early and my temperature started to rise the same day as my positive OPK. Now this month my temp has jumped up early again! What's going on!? FF even put crosshairs in on CD9 before I entered my positive OPK! This is not normal for me, I have done 20 cycles of ovulating between CD16 & 18! I'm meant to be getting some bloods done this month, 7 days before I think AF is due. How can I do that when O day decides to play silly games. Aaaaaaargh!

Rhetorical rant over. As you were.

Thanks for all the support berries, it has actually been helpful. I don't usually react like this you know.

Does anyone know if I can block people without them knowing on fb? What happens if they try to send me a message?

Blind, I tend not to block people, but I dramatically reduce what I can see of them on my newsfeed! If you can find something from them on your newsfeed, hover in the top right area of their post (where there is a faint blue line separating from the next newsfeed item). You should get a little drop down arrow appear. Go to 'hide' and then you can choose what you do and don't see from them. For example, you can block pictures put keep status updates. If they are really driving you mad, you can hide everything and they won't be any wiser as it's not that you have defriended, just 'filtered' them a bit!

(It's still Bood|e by the way! Just having one of my regular name tweaks!)

Yep kitty I just hide things when they pop up, my friend about to have her fourth is getting hidden quite a lot lately

Cor! It's dead quiet in here! Obviously people are doing something productive and useful whilst I sit here wasting time and putting off planning.

< Saunters across the Berry lounge wearing nothing but a cheeky smile and novelty sausage slippers because the floor is cold. Whose idea was hardwood floors? >

Tut. Trust Bunny to turn up just as I get comfortable!

oi I'm here too! Feeling a bit better now so promise not to make you all miserable haha xx

Kitty I do the same - just hide their updates so that their child rants and baby photos don't appear on your newsfeed. They can still see what you're doing and if you choose to contact them or visa versa you still can. If you block them they will probably realise as they won't be able to contact you or see anything you post anywhere. If you've got mutual friends you'll get to the situation where if you comment on something and your mutual friend replies, the blocked friend won't see your comment but she'll know something's missing as she'll see the reply. I'd avoid that if possible.

Totally understand the meltdown over getting bumps sprung on you, Although I'd heard rumours, I hadn't heard about the friend pg with twins until I saw her bump at the wedding, and I worked out later that she would have been pregnant when I'd had a long conversation with her about ttc and she didn't mention anything other than they were trying as well, but didn't seem to want to talk about it. She would have known at the time but only been about 8 weeks along. I appreciate that's probably too early anyway to be wanting to tell anyone, but as she knew we were trying it might have been nice for her to tell us before the obvious bump gave us the news .

I can also sympathise with DP/DH not getting it. I started crying when DP gave me an update on his B & SiL's bump and he just looked confused and then annoyed. .

Hi boodle and bunny

I've returned from my campervan seaside trip with my mate and her 3 and 5 year old kids. Knackered as been awake since 5am and spent two days walking sllloooooowwwwllly along the beach and feigning enthusiasm over shells and pebbles whilst trying not to cry over the ridiculous number of babies with doting parents and cooing grandparents at the beach. They were everywhere !!!!! The grandparents with babies always get me even more than the mothers as I know it's too late for me to ever see my parents both push a baby of mine through a park. Not fair .

Sooo, I'm now on the laptop to start planning, and I can't find my memory stick, although I seem to remember there was very little on there anyway so I might as well start again. If I can stay awake....
Next week I will get my planning done before Sunday.....

barking One of my friends (the bump one) is also very kindly looking after our cat when we go away so as well as really not wanting to lose her friendship, I actually need to stay friends with her. God, that makes me sound so selfish doesn't it? I just find it really hard to find reliable people to leave my cat with (I'm massively over-protected of her, in case you hadn't realised!)

Anyway, how are you today? x

(bagsys a space on the sofa if it's going to get busy this eve)

barking yuck kiddies everywhere. My hubby lost his dad years ago so our future child will only have 3 grandparents, that's a sad thought :-(

Actually feeling quite relaxed here today about the whole TTC thing. Probably because I spent the whole afternoon with SS acting like the spawn of satan which I think would challenge anyone and even a berry to think twice about potentially rearing another one of those. Obviously I tell myself that mine & DP's child would be totally different but there is still one parent in common . Also it's shag fortnight so the disappointment of the 2WW has faded & I can be optimistic about this month. DP only bought 2 bottles of wine in tesco this week so maybe I'm slowly getting thru about the booze.
I'm lucky that most of close friends with babies don't really do FB. My best friend is due end of this month tho so first trip to see her is going to be a challenge.

Frog I spent a lot of the time on the beach today looking enviously at the couples with two dogs and looking forward to getting home to my dog and not having two small squabbling and whinging children around all the time! I love my mate's kids, they are brilliant and I spent quite a lot of time with them, including having them for the wkd while my mate and her husband get away etc, but they're not my kids, and as the 3 year old weed in his trousers for the second time that day I did find myself thinking well if nothing works and we end up adopting at least we could get a 5 year old and skip the potty training !!

Anyway, I'm on the laptop to plan, I only came back to the web to download resources and got distracted as this tab was still open and I've got an hour left before my mate will be here to pick me up for a run so I'm off to try and work harder...