The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

[Bunnygirlie]

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

I've heard of that Peanut, that the spasms help the sperm in if the female orgasms, but I laughed and disregarded it. I have never once experienced it during sex, only foreplay, which is obviously a little premature to be helping the buggers in as they haven't made an appearance yet. It didn't occur to me to try afterwards as I'm too busy shoving a cushion under my arse and sticking my legs in the air. I really can't imagine trying to orgasm at the same time as making sure the swimmers don't dribble out. Wow. Imagine.
You're all going to come along now and tell me that you all orgasm every time you dtd, even after ttc for 16 months ;op.

Hey all

I'm the same as barking never during, only before. I'm not sure if I'd be able to concentrate on getting an orgasm with it all leaking out of me!

thunder sorry to hear you got a bfn. I've just got my AF so feeling v sorry for myself at the moment. This is so hard...I hate hate hate all the waiting and obsession in the 2ww (or 11 days for me) and then that bitter disappointment at the end.

On the plus side I have my first acupuncture appointment this evening. Not sure what to expect.

Right am off right now to invent a rampant rabbit that will plug all the sperm in after DTD, ensure that you get the big O so that the cervix dilates or whatever appropriately & which you can use as a preseed applicator for good measure. Oh & maybe with a matching cushion to lie on. Ingenious, non?

The only drawback will be that Mr Frog will truly then think I only want him for his swimmers & refuse to DTD at all. Either that or the device will have to be very quiet & used in secret in conjunction with acting classes to fake it realistically whilst DTD.

Haha yep barking, every time and twice on Fridays, it's like When Harry Met Sally around here he wishes! For me it does happen sometimes during sex if there's been a lot of foreplay because I'm obviously geared up for it, but it's not like it's a dead cert. It's certainly never happened AFTER him, except on the rare occasion that he goes for round 2 straight away (ding! ding!)

I'll give that suggestion up as a bad job then!

Crossed post - haha Frog you evil genius you! Love it, can we call it the Sperminator?

Evening ladies. Haven't posted all week as been flat out. Boo to all the AFs and BFPs. Have I missed anything major? What's happening with you Merk?
Frog let us know when the Sperminator prototype is ready. I'm sure us Berries will be very willing guinea pigs

BFNs not BFPs obviously!!

I want a sperminator too!!!

Evening all, hubby has left me alone this eve so I'll be in this pity sofa all night I expect, anybody else?

peanut your acu lady sounds nice, my reflex lady is a but like that, fab!

My friend (who I also work with) brought her 4 month old in today, I the most lovely cuddle with him, so cute!

I'm very busy Bunny I'm putting up Ikea furniture while DP has gone for a run with the dog. I'm definitely not lying on the sofa messing with my phone instead.... Busy, busy busy..... Might have to text DP and tell him to bring chocolate home as I've been working so hard while he's been out....

Grrrrrrrrrr
Just perusing the active threads and came across a heath question about someone with a 'tickling' in her tummy. Don't know her diagnosis yet, but a bloody instadiffer with a vengeance was there with a fluttering of her own. she's just had her 4th, DTD once since then and BECAUSE OF THE THREAD decided to poas to see what her fluttering was about. She's 6.5 months pg with no 5. HOW IS THAT FAIR????????

barking lmao

tally ugh she flutter the feck off grrrrrrr

6.5 months gone?!?! So not only has she instadiffed, she's got past the first two semesters without even realising and therefore had no worries and no constant stress about whether it will stick? I don't know her but I already dislike her intensely.

That does it. I need chocolate. And . The nurse said it wouldn't hurt and having told her I've been having ridiculously light, almost non existent AFs since coming off the pill AF decided to make itself known yesterday. Big style. Bad cramps.

This is why I only come to this thread!! Although I did read one about a cat rescue last night after a friend posted a link on fb. I thought of the berries as I know there are a lot of fluffy babies out there... I shall go find the link...

I'm also left to own devices whilst DP is pickling the sperm we need at a work do. I've just bought ingredients for curry to try & entice him home but in fact am scoffing wine gums (got to better than wine right?) & preparing the Sperminator prototype. Now wondering whether it could be based on those kegel ball things rather than the rampant rabbit...

Frickin' instadiffers - can we not stick them all on a desert island somewhere with no Internet access?

Just for the cat lovers

Mind you with 5 kids she can say goodbye to any decent career, her figure, she must have a bucket for a noni & she'll not be able to have a holiday or go out with her OH for the next 18 years. Who would want to babysit 5?! Am looking on the bright side whilst being a total biatch

Crikey barking cat drama!!!

Ooh frog what else can we biatch about

I meant yoni obviously!
barking you just made me cry. Good job AF isn't on her way or I'd have been hysterical! Lovely story. I actually found my two furry babies as abandoned kittens at the bottom of my garden in London. My neighbours were supposed to take them to CHAT the next day but she went into labour that night with their baby & here we are 7 years later!

Thank you barking, you made me a lot happier. people are so lovely here!!!!!

Loving the idea of the spermigator. Can I preorder one please?!

bunny mind if I join you on the pity sofa please? Met up with my DH after the arrival of AF and promptly burst into tears on the train. How embarrassing.

Just got back from first acupuncture session. I don't know what I thought of it as I was'nt in a very good state when I turned up. She was very lovely. peanut did you find your first one odd or is it just me?

Hey yorkie come sit ye down! Sorry AF got you, she is due to get me Monday/Tuesday!

Thanks bunny fx AF stays away for you. Do you think it is on the way?

More than likely! Last month was odd, I had 3/4 days of spotting before she arrived but no sign of that this month but other tmi signs say she is coming!

tally I?m still confused! Sorry, are you not ttc now?

peanut have you not heard that you ?just need to relax?.?? I love it when my friend?s that know I?m ttc, say ?so hows the baby making going??, I?m like ?do I look f*ing pregnant? How do you think????

Btw preseed is a Godsend!!! You should defo get some ?for those times when you really can?t be arsed but know you have to?

Even more overshare: DIY whilst you?ve got your legs up the wall is even more tricky, not that I?d know?. Oh and I?m also a before or after, never during! Glad to know its not just me! Pmsl @ ?sperminator?

barking cycles differ slightly usually. I was wondering if the clomid had affected me actually.

merkin I can?t remember my login on the laptop as just use my phone but thanks for the offer!

bunnie your friend?s friend needs a good bitch slap!!!!

Boodle thanks for advice. Taking it as accurately as I can but not setting my alarm or anything. Would mean me setting it for 5.45 at the weekend! My cycles are rarely the same but average Ov around cd 15. Think I?ll start the clomid again next month, just in case. Yey, hot flushes in Thailand!!!

AF is a bitch! Sounds all v confusing bunny

I'm upset and annoyed at myself for starting to believe that I was pg. my boobs got really sore like they did when I got pg before the mc and I normally get bad cramps the day before AF arrives which didn't happen this month so I got myself all excited. Stupid stupid!