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TTC after MC - nice people in crap times, full of posifrickingtivity

982 replies

WillSantaComeAgain · 02/04/2013 13:49

Welcome aboard ladies (though obviously sorry you have to be here). We're a friendly bunch so come in and plump up a cushion for POAS Fridays and lots of posifrickingtivity. With a few (gentle) fish slaps thrown in for good measure.

OP posts:
Emki · 28/04/2013 11:24

ref to my own post... I never enquire about whether people are trying for children.. just far too personal - my husband did it once to a friend of mine who had had cancer - I couldn't believe it - he even knew that it was very unlikely for her to have any eggs left after chemo - ggrrrr!!! He never enquires anymore .... PEOPLE DO NOT THINK!!!!

I have thought that at least now, if my DD or anyone I know goes through this I just hope I will be able to say and do the right things because ive now been through it - though obviously hope it never comes to that

Emki · 28/04/2013 11:29

thunder i hope the results say your levels are sorted ((hugs))

ummm well I hope AF is due at the end of the week - kinda looking forward to it as its taken soooo long and then I can start ttc (eek - scary) - though not looking forward to it as my hormones are all over the place so dreading it being very heavy ... might book to have a pedicure on Thursday after work ....

fod27 · 28/04/2013 13:56

Thanks for your support ladies I really do appreciate it, worse thing is I sat and cried alone last night for hours, couldn't bring myself to talk to DF as he thinks it's all behind us, it really isn't for me. My daughter heard my crying and left me a note saying " mummy I don't know why your crying but I love you and will help you through this" which of course made things worse
mummy of course I will, is there anything in particular you would like me to ask?

emki I'm just so worried about the age thing as im aware of the other complications that having a child later on can bring ( I hope that doesn't offend any ladies on here as I know your all going through so much already and I really envy your strength) this whole thing has really messed me up I used to be so positive and always had the " everything will be ok attitude" now I'm bitter depressed and twisted ;,(

Emki · 28/04/2013 14:08

fod I know, I'm bitter and twisted too - its horrid!

Its horrible to go through this at any age - age doesn't matter, its just that you shouldn't worry about your age - you've still got 5 years until the doctors even class you as an older mum ... both of my misscarriages have had nothing to do with my age - first one at 20 wks was a virus which I unfortunately caught in 2nd trimester and was of the unlucky 11% where it crossed the placenta, the 2nd one was just probably a chromosome mismatch, which happens to 1 in 4 women no matter what age... doubt any of this makes you feel better..., I always wanted to be a young mum .... but then was too busy doing other things.. still feel like I am a young mum though, until I meet really young mums ....

Treat yourself this week - have something to look forward to xxxxx (hugs)

Mummytothearkbuilder · 28/04/2013 15:29

Fod your daughter sounds like such a sweetie - bless her!!

I am bitter too - there are so many pregnancy and birth announcements and I honestly couldn't care less about them - how horrid am I - I'm just so jealous of them :-( the only time I never feel any jealously is when BFPs appear on here - here they just bring hope to me.

I'm off work in Wednesday and off for a nice lunch with friends - that the positive nice thing I'm focusing on this week xxx

BirdsDoIt · 28/04/2013 16:27

fod I know exactly what you mean about talking to partner/husband about it - DH looks so dismayed and at a loss when I get really upset yet again, that I'm now trying to have meltdowns when he's not around (doesn't always work out though!) For him it was sad but it's in the past...so I don't think he totally understands how I can be SO upset sometimes still (and other times completely fine). To be honest I'm not sure I understand it either!!

I love the idea of a happy thing for the week ahead on a Sunday. I'm off for a massage on Monday night - at the moment I don't want to do something like acupuncture which to me would feel solely pregnancy-fixing focussed - because i would never hve considered it before. But i reckon an hour of massage can only be a good thing for general state of mind, helping with stress levels etc - and just a bit of it is about ttc (that's what I'm telling myself anyway!) Really looking forward to it. The woman who's doing it specialises in fertility etc so I can talk to her about things too.

Ariel21 · 28/04/2013 18:03

Ooh positive things for the week ahead - I'm
trying out a free dance class on Monday night - first session is free. Really looking forward to doing something active.

Saggy Am so sorry that AF arrived, what a bitch. Massive hugs to you - and also to all the other ladies who are feeling bad today. I too am feeling really emotional and struggling to be positive - guess one week on I feel fine physically but the emotional side is still shitty, frustrating.

Lots of love x

fod27 · 28/04/2013 18:27

I'm glad I'm not a complete nutter and everyone else feels the same way, my friend lost 5 babies and eventually had one she sent me a poem that brings the hardest of folk to tears...I know she means well

Sometimes I think I'm being completely irrational then other times I just succumb to the grief, everyone at work (my students included) keep saying your so strong etc etc and when are you trying again (I've told them we can't face it again, in the hope that when I do and I've reached the 12 wk milestone I can just blurt it out) if I ever get pregnant
I've decided to go shoppin and bought ridiculously healthy stuff; asparagus, salmon, mackerel and grapefruit ( yeah cus that'll get me pregnant!) lol then in all my wisdom decided to get all my mates together and get rat arsed and dance the night away I always plan this but it never happens

Sapphireday · 28/04/2013 19:27

Big group hug to everyone, sorry that the last few days appear to have been particulary hard for a lot of us here.

Thunder I like your suggestion building from Emki's post to state on a Sunday something(s) to look forward to in the week. For me, I'm hopefully going to join a running club tomorrow, to build up my fitness level, and I start medications for my next round of infertility treatment. I'm also having lunch on Friday with a good friend.

BDI enjoy your massage tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you enviously as I'm struggling round on my run Wink

Bakingtins · 28/04/2013 19:30

I have 2 things to look forward to - my best friend is coming for lunch on Tuesday, then I'm going to a gig Wednesday night with friends from church. In fact, next Sunday I'm going to watch the Xcountry at Badminton Horse Trials - that's three things!

Chin up everyone for a better week next week.

alyant79 · 28/04/2013 20:14

Oh everyone is having a rough time. But isn't it great to have somewhere like this to get it all out? This might sound terrible but reading what all you girls are going through is the only way that I know I'm not completely crazy. I feel like I could have written most of these recent post.

The evil witch is about to strike me down too I think. Bit pinkish on wiping this afternoon Sad. Not really due til Tuesday/wed/thurs, so I might be having a wtf cycle too. Could be implantation bleeding I suppose, but better to be prepared for the worst rather than getting my hopes up.
On a positive note, I was so angry about AF looking likely that I went for a run and did my best time in AGES. really pushed myself and it felt great.

One more thing: fod don't despair. 30 is NOT old in any way at all

Emki · 28/04/2013 20:18

Well I need to do something more than a pedicure! Your weeks sound great!
aly stay away AF!!! Well done on the run xxx

Lets have a good week xxxx.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 28/04/2013 23:16

FFS! AF started as a very small amount in my mooncup this morning and now appears to have petered out. Nothing since lunchtime.
ONE THING OR ANOTHER PLEASE!!! Angry Confused

fod27 · 29/04/2013 05:37

Totally agree about having something to focus on, we have nothing til the 11th but that's a weekend away and a sunrise 59tj with friends, we also have a dirty weekend away too, it's paid for but not yet booked (one of those groupon vouchers)

AF hit with avengance last which I'm hoping is a good thing as I was panicking about ashermans and I'm sure that a increased flow means that may not be the case now
alyant that's the reason I'm here, to help me feel that everything I'm going through is 'normal and Sane' thanks for the reassurance re my age xx

CamomileHoneyVanilla · 29/04/2013 05:56

Hey guys

Sorry so many of you are having particularly shitty times at the mo. sending lots of love and Flowers.

AF arrived for me too this morning. Was completely expecting it as had no signs of pregnancy and was completely raging with pms since Friday. I suppose its the combination of normal pms plus the knowledge of what having it means. Anyhoo, onwards and upwards. A January baby sounds good to me. Who's with me!

alyant79 · 29/04/2013 10:00

February baby here I come! The beginning of January would have been no good for me anyway. February is much better timing :) It's gotta be this cycle or the next, otherwise the timing will be terrible again.

My positive things: have organised to play badminton tomorrow night, and in two weeks are going on holiday! Hooray! It's a 2 week holiday, so I'm allowed to have it as my positive for this week AND next

Thundercatsarego · 29/04/2013 10:21

These positive things are great. Loving all the lunches and healthy activity!

cam I hope I'm with you for Jan or Feb- depending on the numbers my doc tells me this week!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 29/04/2013 10:42

AF still not kicked in yet. Confused I'm seriously confused now!

alyant79 · 29/04/2013 10:54

A friend of mine has just announced a pregnancy via FB - they have just had a 6 weeks scan! That's right, 6 weeks so all there is to measure is a little tiny blob.
I actually feel sick with nervousness for them - and jealous of course, but nervousness is the main feeling. I GET that they are super excited, but don't they realise how highly likely it is that it could still go wrong???!?!?!?
They are asking for trouble Sad

It makes me sad that now instead of just being happy for them, I have all these conflicting feelings

OneLittleToddleTerror · 29/04/2013 11:31

Oh dear, is it already for a feburary baby? I used to get obsessed with every AF and used EDD calculator to see when the imaginary baby could be born Blush.

On the positive side. I had Wine in the weekend. And also got some nice bargains in the nct nearly new sale.

Emki · 29/04/2013 12:17

saggy have you done another POAS? What cycle after mc is this? They may be still sorting itself out.... Also could the fasting diet effect AF? Thinking of you?

Also looking forward to hearing about everyone's fun things they are doing this week /

I feel brighter today - basically stayed in most the weekend to protect myself from seeing bumps and hearing people's pregnancy news .... Feel a bit selfish but needed the mental break x

oltt I still do that Blush and I don't even know when AF is due! X

Emki · 29/04/2013 12:29

Didn't mean to add ? After ''thinking of you' saggy xxx horrible for you to be in this situation x

Bakingtins · 29/04/2013 13:55

Forgive me ladies, for I have sinned. I POAS on a day other than Friday as AF did not show and have got a FFP (fairly faint positive). I am hoping I will not be punished for my transgression prepares to dodge fish

And the first thing I did was work out not my EDD but when I'm likely to miscarry - clear the diary for a month's time! Sad

I know the posifrickingtivity is a bit lacking at the moment but if anyone has any spare I could do with it.

Thundercatsarego · 29/04/2013 14:21

Bloody Nora tins!

Ok well you are obviously terrible for disobeying the system

Secondly, congratulations. This could be the one that sticks and I really really really hope it is.

Thirdly I am in awe of your bfp ability!

Fourthly be calm. And stop running before you can walk. Think about today and this good thing before you start worrying about something that may or may not happen. I know that is easier said than done but whatever happens in the future, this is still a GOOD THING for today.

Sending you Thanks and a hug x

GardenWorm · 29/04/2013 14:39

Awesome tins get down the Drs and see if there's anything extra they could look at doing in the early stages, (weren't you mid tests? Or am I thinking of someone else?) extra folic or asprin or something?!