Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

Hello ladies, I've added myself:

TTC

Calibee 43 ttc 10 months. Mc Jan 2013. On Clomid after irregular cycles. 3dcs 23,19 &15
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc 7 mths dc15,15,13,2
Hopefulgum 46, ttc ~3 years, 3mcs, 5 DCS: 21,19,16,12,4
Isabeller ttc 5 years, adult DD, IVF with donor eggs, first cycle unsuccesful
JBrd 41, ttc 6 months, mc Jan 2013, 1 DS 22 months
DrWhoFan 45 ttc 26 months. No DC as yet...keep hoping
Mozzarellamummy soon 41 ttc 3 months. 1 DD 19months, 1 TFMR aug 2012
Morien, 40, ttc #1 9 months, MC Aug 2012
Greenlizard, 43 ttc #1 6 months. No biological DC but 2 DSC's (13,11)
Fatfloosie 45, ttc 4 years, mc Jan 2011 & Mar 2013, 1 DD 5

BFP's

calendargal, 40, 1 DD aged 2, BFP first cycle ttc
notsoold,41, DD18, DS13, mmc last June, cp last December bfp after 2 months ttc

Calibee congratulations on your engagement!!

calendargal sorry to insensitively repost your BFP but didn't want to move or delete you. Hope by some miracle you still are pg but if not we appear to be miscarrying in synch as I am at the light red bleeding stage too (scan yesterday showed 7+2 with no heartbeat).

Have been ttcing purely by not using contraceptives and I can usually tell I'm ovulating from mucus but still can't be arsed to have sex sometimes anyway. Can anyone suggest a good starting point for being a bit more proactive? Thermometer?

Opps, sorry Cali didn't mean to be dismissive of your good news! Congratulations !!

Wecome Floosie - sorry to hear your news and hope things resolve themselves quickly for you and your stay here will be short and productive! It is harsh trying for a baby over 40 but the lovely ladies here are very knowledgeable and supportive.

I'm eating loads of chocolates waiting for AF to come on the coming days..
Isabeller I hope you get a good scan today.. If you don't mind I may pm to ask you more about egg donation.. I'm so hopeless.. I don't excpect to concieve naturally, but on the other hand I'm sure my OH won't even listen to me if I speak to him about egg donation..
calendargal thinking of you..

Do ask anything about egg donation mozzarella. It took me quite some time to get my head round it.

I hope you have a lovely memory of your DH-to-be officially proposing Calibee.

I live in the middle of the current snowzone and did worry last night that my scan could be cancelled as the whole area came to a total standstill. I left plenty of time to walk there and arrived early thank goodness.

The Doctor doing the scan was very nice and explained everythign in great detail. He didn't give me the all clear but it wasn't the worst possible case either but still very concerning. I'm going to go and discuss it with my GP now and hope to get an urgent referral for a biopsy. Trying not to worry too much but finding it difficult to focus on anything else and painfully aware that it almost certainly means our frozen cycle will be delayed at best. xx Is

Congratulations CaliBee I didn't think of it, but of course it's obvious that your DF would do the official proposal in London! Do tell the full story.

Welcome fatfloosie but so sorry to hear your news - I saw your BFP-at-45 thread the other day and found it very cheering (mentioned it on here). It does sound as though we are at the same stage of mc, which must be especially gutting for you. You asked for recommendations for future ttc - I swear by charting temperatures. Check out fertilityfriend.com (free to use if you don't want all the add-ons).

Do move me on the list - I suppose to 'not ttc atm'... and add mc.

Isabeller, glad to hear that scan news is not too awful. Have they given you details of what it might be? (Understand that you probably don't want to post it all on here but wonder if you know).

Jbrd, sounds hopeful - both 2ww and interview! Good luck for both and don't worry about job/preg clash - cross that bridge in a few months' time.

As for me, my bleeding is now like a regular AF. Just checked my records on FF and last time it was four days of this before I passed the sac (which was the really shaky day. I'm expecting much the same again. Must stock up on pads and chocolate paracetamol while I still can - nearest shop almost a mile away!

Calendargirl, sending a great big Aussie hug and a big bag of love your way. I hope it resolves quickly.

Fatfloosie, I am really sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I also read your thread and was so excited for you.

I have said it many times: ttc at our age is not for the faint of heart, but I really,really hope we will be rewarded with our darling little babies in the end. I for one am not ready to throw in the towel as long as I still have signs of ovulation.

Jbrd, my CBFM asked for a stick this morning (CD9) and it was "low". My ovulation day varies from 12 to 22 days , but the average is day 15, though in the last few months it has been around day 13. I did have one very weird month where I Oed on day 7.Clearly, as I get older my cycles aren't so stable, but they aren't super long, which is probably more a sign of peri-menopause.

Isabeller, I am glad that the scan has been done and it sounds like it isn't something too sinister, but I am sure you will still worry until you know for sure what is going on. I hope they find out soon. I am sorry the FET has to be delayed.

Congratulations!

Calibee

TTC

Calibee 43 ttc 10 months. Mc Jan 2013. On Clomid after irregular cycles. 3dcs 23,19 &15
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc 7 mths dc15,15,13,2
Hopefulgum 46, ttc ~3 years, 3mcs, 5 DCS: 21,19,16,12,4
Isabeller ttc 5 years, adult DD, IVF with donor eggs, first cycle unsuccessful
JBrd 41, ttc 6 months, mc Jan 2013, 1 DS 22 months
DrWhoFan 45 ttc 26 months. No DC as yet...keep hoping
Mozzarellamummy soon 41 ttc 3 months. 1 DD 19months, 1 TFMR aug 2012
Morien, 40, ttc #1 9 months, MC Aug 2012
Greenlizard, 43 ttc #1 6 months. No biological DC but 2 DSC's (13,11)
Fatfloosie 45, ttc 4 years, mc Jan 2011 & Mar 2013, 1 DD 5
Irishmammybread
gothinrecovery
isadorable
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3

BFP's

calendargal, 40, 1 DD aged 2, BFP first cycle ttc
notsoold,41, DD18, DS13, mmc last June, cp last December bfp after 2 months ttc
lotsofcheese
Tina pregnant with twind from ED
somewherebecomingrain
knickyknocks
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

Babies Born

10000Fireflies
Deige 41
miasmummy
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young
Angelgeorgie

Not TTC at the Moment:

calendargal, 40, 1 DD aged 2, mc March 2013
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)mc Jan 2013

No longer ttc:
Hippy

Adopting:
Italian

Hello everyone. It's a beautiful winter's day here, really thick powdery snow brilliant white in the sunshine. It's my day off and I got up at 6.30 to help get the DSCs ready for school (DSD2, who's almost 3, is my responsibility in the morning...and most other times too, given that she always wants me and not poor DP!), planning to go back to bed with a cup of tea - but (much as I love my bed!) I can't bear to waste such a beautiful morning (MN is a much better way to spend it )

calendargal, I'm so sorry. Thinking of you. I hope the worst of it physically will be behind you very soon. As so many of us here know, the emotional side takes rather longer to heal...

Fatfloosie I saw your thread too. I'm so sorry it's ended this way. Lots of support here though.

Isabeller what stressful times for you. I hope you get your biopsy referral ASAP.

jbrd great news about the interview - good luck! I say forget all about the potentially bad timing. Good luck for the 2ww too...

cali so now it's official - congratulations! I hope you're getting a better reaction from people around you than I am. My mum has spent her life perfecting the art of not saying the obvious thing (in this case, 'congratulations', or 'what lovely news'), and instead saying something utterly inappropriate and often quite hurtful (in this case, 'I suppose you're having to force [DP's name] to marry you, I can't imagine he'd want to' ) I haven't told my dad yet - he's anti-marriage and generally incapable of tolerating another viewpoint. Nor have we told DP's dad, who has refused to see or speak to me for 6 months - our new house is only a few minutes' drive from his, and when we moved in June he started popping in unannounced, up to 5 or 6 times a week and sometimes more than once a day (he does this with DP's sister & her DH, who also live locally). DP didn't like this any more than I did so he asked FIL to stop (I overheard so I know it was done v nicely but very clearly) -FIL just laughed and said, 'but you're my son, so I can come to your house whenever I like', and carried on. DP asked him several more times over the summer, to no avail. As if it weren't bad enough, I was pg and feeling rotten, and I felt I couldn't relax in my own home as he might pop in at any time (he didn't even knock, he'd try all the doors until one opened, and come peering in at windows to find us). Then I had my MC (he didn't know I was pg, and I didn't want to tell him about the MC), and after that his visits became even harder for me...until one day about 4 weeks after my MC when he arrived and I burst into tears and told him I needed some privacy in my own home. He stormed out and I haven't seen him since. DP is entirely on my side which is great but I don't understand why sides are necessary.

Anyway, back to ttc. Still no AF here after 8 or maybe 9 weeks. Going back to the gynae this afternoon for the results of my blood tests. Will report back...

Congratulations Calibee- how romantic . He sounds like a lovely man your FIANCE

Welcome fatfloosie and so sorry to hear about your MC. Hope things resolve quickly and smoothly for you.

Isabeller glad you have finally had your scan and it doesn't sound that it is too much to worry about (but I know you will be!) Bodies are full of mysterious lumps and bumps that are perfectly fine so getting the biopsy will get to the bottom of it and put your mind at rest. Real shame it means you will have to delay your frozen cycle but I guess it makes sense (though very annoying)

Thinking of you Calendgal, sparkly, nosoold and diege - ladies I hope you are doing ok?

Today is CD9 - CMFM high and was gearing up for a weekend of DTD. Until, that is, DP announces that he is going off on some bike thing this weekend He really wants a baby (sometimes I think more than myself) but doesn't seem to think that it might take a bit more effort at our age than "it will happen" (he bases this on his 2 children with his ex who were both conceived within 2 cycles of trying when they were in their twenties - clearly exactly the same as now!) Grrrrrrrrrrrrr - he has (reasonably) suggested that we can DTD Friday Night/Saturday Morning/Sunday Night/Monday Morning which should be plenty but I feel the need to sulk for some reason)

This annoying announcement is coupled with the fact that the Fertility Clinic have shifted our appointment until the 15 April so have another month to wait and I am feeling very fat! The two are unrelated and to be fair I am about 10lb heavier than my fighting weight (ie. I am actually fat so I need to take myself in hand and shift it but won't stop me moaning about it )

I am just really grumpy and moody today - should change my name to sulkysue or moaningminnie?

Argh, I just wrote a mammoth post, and MN ate it!

Well, probably serves me right for spending so much time on here while at work. I cannot muster up any motivation, instead I'm planning my exit strategy. Along the lines of 'if they offer me the job on date x, then I can hand in my notice on date y and be out of here by date z'. Sweet. I have a ridiculously short notice period - 1 week. The university are not doing themselves a favour with this, because if I have to, I intend to make full use of it. Meaning I could disappear very very quickly....

Morien Good luck with your GP today! Do you think there's anything they can do to help af along?

isabeller Hope they will move quickly with your biopsie, the waiting is always the worst part of it. Still, it'll be better to sort this out first before you go back for your next round of IVF, you don't want the extra worry! Fingers crossed for you.

Fatfloosie Welcome, sorry to hear about your mc. It's such a crash, when it all comes tumbling down. You will find lots of support and handholding here.

calendargal Hope you're managing OK...

Moan away, green, we all have days like this. Shame your clinic moved your appointment, was there a specific reason? Surely they know what stress this causes!
And what's with your DH?! Does he think babies fall from heaven? He needs a reality check, methinks... Am annoyed on your behalf.

I went to the gym again for the first time since before Christmas, and today I cannot move, ugh. Everything hurts, especially my legs! I'm just hobbling around, going up and down stairs is particularly painful. Just the right state to go again tonight, right!?

CD25, and still no AF. Temp shot up again today. The symptom spotting has reached a new dimension. Shame I don't have any.
I might be persuaded to test Friday instead of Saturday...

Jbrd, that's so annoying when you've written a long post and it disappears. Don't go back to the gym tonight, give your muscles time to recover - I know you know this though . Good luck with your interview.

Calibee - it's official! Congratulations on your engagement , I hope you're still enjoying London.

Isabeller, I hope can have your biopsy as soon as possible, and I'm glad it's not the worst news you could have had. You must be disappointed that your FET has to be delayed, but hopefully things will be sorted out quickly, although of course you're worried until you know for definite what's going on

Calendargal, how are you doing? I hope the physical side of things resolves quickly.

Hello to fatfloosie, I'm sorry you're going through an m/c as well, for you too I hope it doesn't take too long.

Morien, I hope your GP will be able to sort out your cycle, and you can get back to TTC soon.

Green, no wonder you're frustrated with DP away at the critical time and the clinic moving your appointment. Did they give a reason? Your DP must know TTC is harder as we get older. A gentle reminder perhaps?

Diege & notsoold, how are you both doing.

And hello to gum, drwho, irish, isadorable, mozarella and apologies if I missed anyone.

No change in the situation here, I'm on late shifts, DH is working away at the weekend, so not much chance to talk, communication is not great at the moment, but I know we have to keep talking even if it doesn't get us anywhere. I have no expectation of him coming round before the baby arrives, although of course I hope he does. Support from you lovely ladies on here and in RL is making it easier for me to cope, I just wish he'd get some type of support for himself. I shall stop now before this turns into a stream of conciousness.

Morien, at your mum, but also . I try to pass these things off as senility even though my mother has always been like that. FIL also sounds horrendous - maybe a lucky escape that he's not speaking to you any more??

Just a quick check-in. Heavy bleeding yesterday eve (went through one pad in half an hour ) but has eased off now. Fully expecting it to rage again though. To top it all, I have developed a cold - my defences are obviously non-existent. Also v tired and weak, though not in pain (yet).

Oh, and wondering how you're doing, Diege? Hope it's a completely different story for you.

Gosh, so much has happened!

Calendargal and fatfloosie, I'm so sorry to hear of your mcs...can't imagine how you must be feeling, but have a very un-MNetty hug from me xx

Blimey Morien...your FIL!!???!!! WTF????? No wonder you threw a wobbly...I'd not have lasted NEARLY as long as you did. I'm lucky that I don't have any parents cos I just KNOW they'd be annoying, and my father would be saying just about every week, "when am I going to get a grandchild from you?", whilst complaining that I should have picked a man my own age, instead of the youthful young stud muffin that I've got! LOL!

As for your mother...she kinda sounds a bit like mine. Can't say a single damned nice thing. Don't you just wish that people like that would shut their frikkin' gobs?! Somehow it always seems worse when it's your mother. Blood is NO promise that your relatives are going to be nice people. Mine were bloody awful/useless in equal measure!

My PIL aren't too bad...MIL seems to be giving us space, and SIL is now on second (unplanned) child with partner who already has 3 other kids from a previous marriage and who I'm fairly sure is playing around on her (he's a total shit in my opinion!). I can't help feeling he's with SIL as she's so good with his kids from the previous marriage. And she's so LOVELY...she deserves better

Is, I really hope your biopsy result is OK. I'm thinking of you sweetie. I'd be a bag of rattling nerves in your shoes because I'm useless at managing stress!

Sparkly, sorry to hear your "D"H is still being twat no. 1...but we're here for you honey. Chin up. Maybe your DB will be able to talk/slap some sense into him

Urgh...don't talk to me about being fat green...I just keep putting weight on and I can't exercise because my sodding knees (previous waste-of-time knee surgery) and plantar fasciitis mean that walking is hard work, and the stupid anxiety is keeping me in the house in any case. Arse, bugger...etc etc!

I'm on a bit of a rant, sorry! DP may be younger than me, but he has the sex drive of a pensioner (always has unfortunately), so getting him to do enough shagging around ovulation time is like pulling teeth. I know it's cos he does a really physical job and is knackered most of the time cos he works so hard, but we both want this, and I'm not going to get upduffed without us having enough sex. He said "well it only takes one"...the other day. How I didn't twat him I'll never know...I managed patiently to explain that we do actually have to have sex to get that one there in the first place for it to do it's business...men! You'd think the promise of getting jiggy would please him? Maybe it would if he weren't so bloody knackered.

Right, seeing as I'm now starting to get into "War and Peace" territory when it comes to length of the post, I think I'll stop.

Sorry to those I've missed...

Oh, and Diege are you still upchucking honey? Hope you're feeling better!

Ah shit...and I'm sorry Cali...MASSIVE congratulations on your engagement! And I hope you're enjoying London. Frankly, after 42 years living there, if I never go back again it will be too soon, even for a visit! Went back to a gig 3 years ago just after moving to East Mids, and couldn't for the life of me understand how I had managed to live there for so long. It was vile and disgusting and I couldn't wait to get back on the train to the East Mids and my new home. 3 years down the line, I feel exactly the same...not likely I'll be visiting London any time in the foreseeable millennium!!!

Feeling a bit and after my trip to see the gynae - so huge thanks to [drwho] for making me laugh. Your young stud muffin with 'the sex drive of a pensioner'...how frustrating, though. (I love the spontaneous way you write your posts, I feel like you're here in front of me).

I had this secret little hope (silly, I know) that the gynae would say, 'But Madame Morien, the reason you haven't had your period is that you're pregnant!' More realistically, though, I assumed that the blood tests would have shown dodgy levels of a certain hormone which could then be corrected, that he'd prescribe me something like what cali took to get AF jump-started - and that I'd get my BFP next month soon because it was just the hormones that were wrong. However, the blood tests showed no abnormalities at all, and the gynae (who 2 weeks ago laughed at me for saying I was in a hurry as I'm 40) said that the only plausible explanation he can find is that I'm entering the peri-menopause [sceptical] He may not have put it so bluntly had he read to the end of his notes and reminded himself that I'm ttc. Turns out he'd forgotten because he said, 'oh, just one last thing - I don't seem to have any record of contraception for you.' I said no, of course you bloody don't...and he said, 'aaah, that changes things rather', and said that he couldn't do anything for me. Instead he suggested I see someone in the 'Medically Assisted Procreation' Unit and gave me a particular name. However, he said that he didn't know what was 'legally possible' for someone of my age.

I just didn't even consider this possibility. Does anyone know if there are other reasons for AF going AWOL like this? I'm quite sure it's not stress as I'm no more stressed than usual. I feel lost and deflated...but I'm not giving up. When we first started ttc in May 2012 I told DP that I only wanted to try naturally, that if we couldn't do it naturally then I'd take that as a sign it wasn't to be. Don't think I can do that now.

Anyway, DP is being wonderfully supportive and understanding.

I've just looked up the Belgian assisted reproduction legislation and the age limit is 47. Maybe the gynae actually meant I'm too young

Hi all, a little obsessed by my own troubles so please excuse my self-centredness. Thank you for all the good wishes. My scan will be reviewed by a consultants meeting tomorrow and I hope I'll be able to get some information from my GP by the end of the day. The GP on Tuesday said they can't refer me for the next stage until they have the scan report.

I can't help being aware that it could be serious and DP is very anxious but we have been here before and are dusting off our coping strategies.

Fertile thoughts to all xx Is

I think I may have just passed the sac - but I have had NO PAIN so far this mc - just heavy bleeding. Is this even possible??

Can't see anything in the sac (not for want of probing...) but it is round, and a beige-ish colour and looks just like it did last time. Last time (at exactly the same point in the pregnancy) the build up to passing the sac was very painful. And my first mc was more or less like labour (that was much later though, at 13wks). I am confused by the lack of cramping. Not complaining though! But wondering if it is possible to have a painless mc? That would be exactly what I need now.

Am rambling... Dh away and I have a bad cold too. I should probably post in the mc section.

Sorry Calendargirl, I have no experience of a natural miscarriage,except at 5-6 weeks, so it was just like a normal period. Hopefully you won't have to contend with any pain.

Morien, that's amazing that in Belgium they will assist up to 47 years. I wish I could help with the lack of AF. I have had that happen before, but it was after a miscarriage. As far as I know it means that you haven't ovulated yet. What I don't really understand is the gynae said your hormones were "normal". Normal is a very grey area, normal for the day the bloods were taken in your cycle? Because hormones on day 3 are very different to hormones on day 21, that's why doctors check them at different stages of the cycle.

The thing is he could give you a drug to bring on a bleed (provera), and then take clomid to get the ovaries chugging along, which is what Calibee did for her long cycle.

If you want to try something natural, you could take Vitex, which is known for sorting out cycles, or B-complex to up progesterone which may help your period start.

Drwhofan - I think I may have the libido of a pensioner too (like your DP). I am so tired by the end of the day that I fall asleep on the couch,so it is very hard to think about sex once I'm in La-la land. That is probably why I shouldn't be ttc another baby, I am already knackered from the family I have and the job. However I reckon I'd manage the baby and family if I wasn't running off to work most days. Anyway, I'll have to dust off the old fango soon as I a high on my CBFM this morning, and ovulation is approaching. At least it is nearly the weekend and I can manage a shag then...

Isabeller, I do hope you have answers really soon. What did you mean that "You'd been there before"?

Deige - how are you???

Remnant - also thinking of you, I hope you are okay.

calendar hope it is possible for you to get through it painlessly though I am sure it is rough for you. Are you coping ok being on your own with your little one ? Can't be easy.

My dd has a temperature so I had to cancel doc's appointment this morning as dp is working. Still no AF but perhaps kidney problems... Will have to wait till tomorrow. Fed up.

DRwho morien families can be so insensitive and shit can't they? And yet we're desperate for one? I'm sure you'd do it better. I'm really amazed how my young dp is the strict one and when I open my mouth, I hear my lovely grandma who was a total softey! Before I had my daughter I thought I'd be the strict one. I haven't seen my bro in over two years now as his wife has not been able to have a baby despite lots of intervention. She doesn't want to know my lovely daughter who looks just like her uncle. All very sad for everyone. But I will confess sil is someone who has never failed at anything- fiercely clever and successful and well, a bitch. I was very close to my bro until they got married.

gum it must be tiring working and having a large family but you can't change the desire you have for another baby - it seems heart felt from your posts. Good luck getting down to it over the weekend!

is have you been through illness before? All this is so gruelling - all the waiting. I have a strange neuro condition that grows benign tumours and took ages to get a diagnosis so have an idea of how you might feel.

Twinkie is whimpering so I better see how she is and then try and work. Is really cold here - we had snow yesterday... Not quite the image of the south of France is it?

I feel a bit wrong invading this lovely thread with tales of woe I've had a fair few health challenges over the years. I had a cancer scare a couple of years ago. It was a very worrying time but turned out not cancer thank goodness. I lost an ovary and only narrowly avoided a hysterectomy which delayed our IVF and is one reason I need donor eggs. I really appreciate the kind concern hopeful and your story is encouraging isadorable bodies are funny things eh?

Thinking of you calendargal and hoping you stay well.

I hope you find out what you need to know Morien. With hindsight I would probably have researched possible scenarios more actively.

Calendar I am so sorry and I know that words are not there to explain what you are going through...

Is...my fingers are so very crossed for you that things will go well and I hope you have support in RL as that is so important !!!

Morien..47!!! Wow.... Like gum mentioned I would second Vitex. I took it and conceived whilst taking it. I took the first month and the went to have the CP , stopped for a month and took again (when I posted about my cycles being longer,probably?) and got pg again...

Cali....congratulations !!!! Again I say I LOVE WEDDINGS and wish you and Mr Calibee all the best !!!:)

Sparkly....Vent away here and I am so glad you also have support in RL!!! How many weeks are you???

green...:) I used to call myself moaningminnie when I first got married :)

Jbrd I refuse to walk into a gym as I am sure I would be stoned!! Well done you!!! :)

Gum, Diege, Morien and everyone else I missed ....take care of yourselves gals!!! xxx:)

Sorry I have been missing! I was going to be a birth partner for a friend in beginning of April, but baba did not wait and after lots of stress for Mum and family baby Alex arrived and I was there!!! After all that, baby just wanted to feed and sleep and I got to hold him loads!!:) Second time I am someone birth partner but first time since ttc and I thought...OOMMGG it hurts!!!! But Mum was happy I was there and I am happy to help her and quite honoured to see another brad new person arriving!!!

I booked a private scan on 22th March (will be 8 weeks then). I hope it will help my nerves...as anxiety seems to follow me. I am hoping that if everything is as it should be, the chances of MC will be low. MW bood for ext Wednesday