Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! 
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Conception
Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!
974 replies
hopefulgum · 05/03/2013 09:51
OP posts:
JBrd ·
12/03/2013 12:47
Opps, sorry Cali didn't mean to be dismissive of your good news! Congratulations 
!!
mozzarellamummy ·
12/03/2013 13:08
I'm eating loads of chocolates waiting for AF to come on the coming days..
Isabeller I hope you get a good scan today.. If you don't mind I may pm to ask you more about egg donation.. I'm so hopeless.. I don't excpect to concieve naturally, but on the other hand I'm sure my OH won't even listen to me if I speak to him about egg donation..
calendargal thinking of you..
calendargal ·
12/03/2013 17:30
Congratulations CaliBee I didn't think of it, but of course it's obvious that your DF would do the official proposal in London! Do tell the full story.
Welcome fatfloosie but so sorry to hear your news - I saw your BFP-at-45 thread the other day and found it very cheering (mentioned it on here). It does sound as though we are at the same stage of mc, which must be especially gutting for you. You asked for recommendations for future ttc - I swear by charting temperatures. Check out fertilityfriend.com (free to use if you don't want all the add-ons).
Do move me on the list - I suppose to 'not ttc atm'... and add mc.
Isabeller, glad to hear that scan news is not too awful. Have they given you details of what it might be? (Understand that you probably don't want to post it all on here but wonder if you know).
Jbrd, sounds hopeful - both 2ww and interview! Good luck for both and don't worry about job/preg clash - cross that bridge in a few months' time.
As for me, my bleeding is now like a regular AF. Just checked my records on FF and last time it was four days of this before I passed the sac (which was the really shaky day. I'm expecting much the same again. Must stock up on pads and chocolate paracetamol while I still can - nearest shop almost a mile away!
hopefulgum ·
12/03/2013 22:42
Calendargirl, sending a great big Aussie hug and a big bag of love your way. I hope it resolves quickly.
Fatfloosie, I am really sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I also read your thread and was so excited for you.
I have said it many times: ttc at our age is not for the faint of heart, but I really,really hope we will be rewarded with our darling little babies in the end. I for one am not ready to throw in the towel as long as I still have signs of ovulation.
Jbrd, my CBFM asked for a stick this morning (CD9) and it was "low". My ovulation day varies from 12 to 22 days , but the average is day 15, though in the last few months it has been around day 13. I did have one very weird month where I Oed on day 7.Clearly, as I get older my cycles aren't so stable, but they aren't super long, which is probably more a sign of peri-menopause.
Isabeller, I am glad that the scan has been done and it sounds like it isn't something too sinister, but I am sure you will still worry until you know for sure what is going on. I hope they find out soon. I am sorry the FET has to be delayed.
Congratulations!
Calibee
OP posts:
Morien ·
13/03/2013 07:50
Hello everyone. It's a beautiful winter's day here, really thick powdery snow brilliant white in the sunshine. It's my day off and I got up at 6.30 to help get the DSCs ready for school (DSD2, who's almost 3, is my responsibility in the morning...and most other times too, given that she always wants me and not poor DP!), planning to go back to bed with a cup of tea - but (much as I love my bed!) I can't bear to waste such a beautiful morning (MN is a much better way to spend it 
)
calendargal, I'm so sorry. Thinking of you. I hope the worst of it physically will be behind you very soon. As so many of us here know, the emotional side takes rather longer to heal...
Fatfloosie I saw your thread too. I'm so sorry it's ended this way. Lots of support here though.
Isabeller what stressful times for you. I hope you get your biopsy referral ASAP.
jbrd great news about the interview - good luck! I say forget all about the potentially bad timing. Good luck for the 2ww too...
cali so now it's official - congratulations! I hope you're getting a better reaction from people around you than I am. My mum has spent her life perfecting the art of not saying the obvious thing (in this case, 'congratulations', or 'what lovely news'), and instead saying something utterly inappropriate and often quite hurtful (in this case, 'I suppose you're having to force [DP's name] to marry you, I can't imagine he'd want to' 
) I haven't told my dad yet - he's anti-marriage and generally incapable of tolerating another viewpoint. Nor have we told DP's dad, who has refused to see or speak to me for 6 months - our new house is only a few minutes' drive from his, and when we moved in June he started popping in unannounced, up to 5 or 6 times a week and sometimes more than once a day (he does this with DP's sister & her DH, who also live locally). DP didn't like this any more than I did so he asked FIL to stop (I overheard so I know it was done v nicely but very clearly) -FIL just laughed and said, 'but you're my son, so I can come to your house whenever I like', and carried on. DP asked him several more times over the summer, to no avail. As if it weren't bad enough, I was pg and feeling rotten, and I felt I couldn't relax in my own home as he might pop in at any time (he didn't even knock, he'd try all the doors until one opened, and come peering in at windows to find us). Then I had my MC (he didn't know I was pg, and I didn't want to tell him about the MC), and after that his visits became even harder for me...until one day about 4 weeks after my MC when he arrived and I burst into tears and told him I needed some privacy in my own home. He stormed out and I haven't seen him since. DP is entirely on my side which is great but I don't understand why sides are necessary.
Anyway, back to ttc. Still no AF here after 8 or maybe 9 weeks. Going back to the gynae this afternoon for the results of my blood tests. Will report back...
greenlizard ·
13/03/2013 08:11
Congratulations Calibee- how romantic . He sounds like a lovely man your FIANCE
Welcome fatfloosie and so sorry to hear about your MC. Hope things resolve quickly and smoothly for you.
Isabeller glad you have finally had your scan and it doesn't sound that it is too much to worry about (but I know you will be!) Bodies are full of mysterious lumps and bumps that are perfectly fine so getting the biopsy will get to the bottom of it and put your mind at rest. Real shame it means you will have to delay your frozen cycle but I guess it makes sense (though very annoying)
Thinking of you Calendgal, sparkly, nosoold and diege - ladies I hope you are doing ok?
Today is CD9 - CMFM high and was gearing up for a weekend of DTD. Until, that is, DP announces that he is going off on some bike thing this weekend 
He really wants a baby (sometimes I think more than myself) but doesn't seem to think that it might take a bit more effort at our age than "it will happen" (he bases this on his 2 children with his ex who were both conceived within 2 cycles of trying when they were in their twenties - clearly exactly the same as now!) Grrrrrrrrrrrrr - he has (reasonably) suggested that we can DTD Friday Night/Saturday Morning/Sunday Night/Monday Morning which should be plenty but I feel the need to sulk for some reason)
This annoying announcement is coupled with the fact that the Fertility Clinic have shifted our appointment until the 15 April so have another month to wait and I am feeling very fat! The two are unrelated and to be fair I am about 10lb heavier than my fighting weight (ie. I am actually fat so I need to take myself in hand and shift it but won't stop me moaning about it )
I am just really grumpy and moody today - should change my name to sulkysue or moaningminnie?
JBrd ·
13/03/2013 10:17
Argh, I just wrote a mammoth post, and MN ate it!
Well, probably serves me right for spending so much time on here while at work. I cannot muster up any motivation, instead I'm planning my exit strategy. Along the lines of 'if they offer me the job on date x, then I can hand in my notice on date y and be out of here by date z'. Sweet. I have a ridiculously short notice period - 1 week. The university are not doing themselves a favour with this, because if I have to, I intend to make full use of it. Meaning I could disappear very very quickly....
Morien Good luck with your GP today! Do you think there's anything they can do to help af along?
isabeller Hope they will move quickly with your biopsie, the waiting is always the worst part of it. Still, it'll be better to sort this out first before you go back for your next round of IVF, you don't want the extra worry! Fingers crossed for you.
Fatfloosie Welcome, sorry to hear about your mc. It's such a crash, when it all comes tumbling down. You will find lots of support and handholding here.
calendargal Hope you're managing OK...
Moan away, green, we all have days like this. Shame your clinic moved your appointment, was there a specific reason? Surely they know what stress this causes!
And what's with your DH?! Does he think babies fall from heaven? He needs a reality check, methinks... Am annoyed on your behalf.
I went to the gym again for the first time since before Christmas, and today I cannot move, ugh. Everything hurts, especially my legs! I'm just hobbling around, going up and down stairs is particularly painful. Just the right state to go again tonight, right!?
CD25, and still no AF. Temp shot up again today. The symptom spotting has reached a new dimension. Shame I don't have any.
I might be persuaded to test Friday instead of Saturday...
sparklysapphire ·
13/03/2013 10:49
Jbrd, that's so annoying when you've written a long post and it disappears. Don't go back to the gym tonight, give your muscles time to recover - I know you know this though . Good luck with your interview.
Calibee - it's official! Congratulations on your engagement , I hope you're still enjoying London.
Isabeller, I hope can have your biopsy as soon as possible, and I'm glad it's not the worst news you could have had. You must be disappointed that your FET has to be delayed, but hopefully things will be sorted out quickly, although of course you're worried until you know for definite what's going on
Calendargal, how are you doing? I hope the physical side of things resolves quickly.
Hello to fatfloosie, I'm sorry you're going through an m/c as well, for you too I hope it doesn't take too long.
Morien, I hope your GP will be able to sort out your cycle, and you can get back to TTC soon.
Green, no wonder you're frustrated with DP away at the critical time and the clinic moving your appointment. Did they give a reason? Your DP must know TTC is harder as we get older. A gentle reminder perhaps?
Diege & notsoold, how are you both doing.
And hello to gum, drwho, irish, isadorable, mozarella and apologies if I missed anyone.
No change in the situation here, I'm on late shifts, DH is working away at the weekend, so not much chance to talk, communication is not great at the moment, but I know we have to keep talking even if it doesn't get us anywhere. I have no expectation of him coming round before the baby arrives, although of course I hope he does. Support from you lovely ladies on here and in RL is making it easier for me to cope, I just wish he'd get some type of support for himself. I shall stop now before this turns into a stream of conciousness.
calendargal ·
13/03/2013 12:00
Morien, 
at your mum, but also . I try to pass these things off as senility even though my mother has always been like that. FIL also sounds horrendous - maybe a lucky escape that he's not speaking to you any more??
Just a quick check-in. Heavy bleeding yesterday eve (went through one pad in half an hour ) but has eased off now. Fully expecting it to rage again though. To top it all, I have developed a cold - my defences are obviously non-existent. Also v tired and weak, though not in pain (yet).
DoctorWhoFan ·
13/03/2013 14:33
Gosh, so much has happened!
Calendargal and fatfloosie, I'm so sorry to hear of your mcs...can't imagine how you must be feeling, but have a very un-MNetty hug from me xx
Blimey Morien...your FIL!!???!!! WTF????? No wonder you threw a wobbly...I'd not have lasted NEARLY as long as you did. I'm lucky that I don't have any parents cos I just KNOW they'd be annoying, and my father would be saying just about every week, "when am I going to get a grandchild from you?", whilst complaining that I should have picked a man my own age, instead of the youthful young stud muffin that I've got! LOL!
As for your mother...she kinda sounds a bit like mine. Can't say a single damned nice thing. Don't you just wish that people like that would shut their frikkin' gobs?! Somehow it always seems worse when it's your mother. Blood is NO promise that your relatives are going to be nice people. Mine were bloody awful/useless in equal measure!
My PIL aren't too bad...MIL seems to be giving us space, and SIL is now on second (unplanned) child with partner who already has 3 other kids from a previous marriage and who I'm fairly sure is playing around on her (he's a total shit in my opinion!). I can't help feeling he's with SIL as she's so good with his kids from the previous marriage. And she's so LOVELY...she deserves better
Is, I really hope your biopsy result is OK. I'm thinking of you sweetie. I'd be a bag of rattling nerves in your shoes because I'm useless at managing stress!
Sparkly, sorry to hear your "D"H is still being twat no. 1...but we're here for you honey. Chin up. Maybe your DB will be able to talk/slap some sense into him 
Urgh...don't talk to me about being fat green...I just keep putting weight on and I can't exercise because my sodding knees (previous waste-of-time knee surgery) and plantar fasciitis mean that walking is hard work, and the stupid anxiety is keeping me in the house in any case. Arse, bugger...etc etc!
I'm on a bit of a rant, sorry! DP may be younger than me, but he has the sex drive of a pensioner (always has unfortunately), so getting him to do enough shagging around ovulation time is like pulling teeth. I know it's cos he does a really physical job and is knackered most of the time cos he works so hard, but we both want this, and I'm not going to get upduffed without us having enough sex. He said "well it only takes one"...the other day. How I didn't twat him I'll never know...I managed patiently to explain that we do actually have to have sex to get that one there in the first place for it to do it's business...men! You'd think the promise of getting jiggy would please him? Maybe it would if he weren't so bloody knackered.
Right, seeing as I'm now starting to get into "War and Peace" territory when it comes to length of the post, I think I'll stop.
Sorry to those I've missed...
Oh, and Diege are you still upchucking honey? Hope you're feeling better!
DoctorWhoFan ·
13/03/2013 14:38
Ah shit...and I'm sorry Cali...MASSIVE congratulations on your engagement! And I hope you're enjoying London. Frankly, after 42 years living there, if I never go back again it will be too soon, even for a visit! Went back to a gig 3 years ago just after moving to East Mids, and couldn't for the life of me understand how I had managed to live there for so long. It was vile and disgusting and I couldn't wait to get back on the train to the East Mids and my new home. 3 years down the line, I feel exactly the same...not likely I'll be visiting London any time in the foreseeable millennium!!!
Morien ·
13/03/2013 20:24
Feeling a bit and after my trip to see the gynae - so huge thanks to [drwho] for making me laugh. Your young stud muffin with 'the sex drive of a pensioner'...how frustrating, though. (I love the spontaneous way you write your posts, I feel like you're here in front of me).
I had this secret little hope (silly, I know) that the gynae would say, 'But Madame Morien, the reason you haven't had your period is that you're pregnant!' More realistically, though, I assumed that the blood tests would have shown dodgy levels of a certain hormone which could then be corrected, that he'd prescribe me something like what cali took to get AF jump-started - and that I'd get my BFP next month soon because it was just the hormones that were wrong. However, the blood tests showed no abnormalities at all, and the gynae (who 2 weeks ago laughed at me for saying I was in a hurry as I'm 40) said that the only plausible explanation he can find is that I'm entering the peri-menopause [sceptical] He may not have put it so bluntly had he read to the end of his notes and reminded himself that I'm ttc. Turns out he'd forgotten because he said, 'oh, just one last thing - I don't seem to have any record of contraception for you.' I said no, of course you bloody don't...and he said, 'aaah, that changes things rather', and said that he couldn't do anything for me. Instead he suggested I see someone in the 'Medically Assisted Procreation' Unit and gave me a particular name. However, he said that he didn't know what was 'legally possible' for someone of my age.
I just didn't even consider this possibility. Does anyone know if there are other reasons for AF going AWOL like this? I'm quite sure it's not stress as I'm no more stressed than usual. I feel lost and deflated...but I'm not giving up. When we first started ttc in May 2012 I told DP that I only wanted to try naturally, that if we couldn't do it naturally then I'd take that as a sign it wasn't to be. Don't think I can do that now.
Anyway, DP is being wonderfully supportive and understanding.
Morien ·
13/03/2013 20:32
I've just looked up the Belgian assisted reproduction legislation and the age limit is 47. Maybe the gynae actually meant I'm too young
Isabeller ·
13/03/2013 20:33
Hi all, a little obsessed by my own troubles so please excuse my self-centredness. Thank you for all the good wishes. My scan will be reviewed by a consultants meeting tomorrow and I hope I'll be able to get some information from my GP by the end of the day. The GP on Tuesday said they can't refer me for the next stage until they have the scan report.
I can't help being aware that it could be serious and DP is very anxious but we have been here before and are dusting off our coping strategies.
Fertile thoughts to all xx Is
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Isabeller ·
14/03/2013 10:41
I feel a bit wrong invading this lovely thread with tales of woe I've had a fair few health challenges over the years. I had a cancer scare a couple of years ago. It was a very worrying time but turned out not cancer thank goodness. I lost an ovary and only narrowly avoided a hysterectomy which delayed our IVF and is one reason I need donor eggs. I really appreciate the kind concern hopeful and your story is encouraging isadorable bodies are funny things eh?
Thinking of you calendargal and hoping you stay well.
I hope you find out what you need to know Morien. With hindsight I would probably have researched possible scenarios more actively.
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