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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

974 replies

hopefulgum · 05/03/2013 09:51

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! Smile

OP posts:
jass43 · 28/06/2013 16:00

Morien, 7 weeks is a good milestone. But feeling confident is even more important. (Am in bed with some chocolate as I have got bad cold hence able to cheer everyone one!).
Kaglets, I think indeed if you care about having that baby there is no good reason to postpone ttc. We are old as we are, next year we are even older definitely. So, head up and try on, there seems to be nothing right now that should worry you instead that you need to find out a good way to know about when you have your OV. If you postpone you only will regret it later on, especially if you then find ttc takes time!

jass43 · 28/06/2013 16:07

Mozarellamummy, you are at your ideal weight already! If only a stone of a loss would mean you are already slim! Re donor eggs, I have thought it through and found I am not at all for that.where I childless, I would have tried by now. But I am not. So, for me that seems a bit greedy,tbh, to go and spend good money and time and energy on something which is not so essentially vital. I do not think the same way, bthw, about donor sperm. As my issues are immune related, using donor sperm might do the trick. But I guess I would need to find. Way to cheat on hubby for that, as doing it in clinic secretly is not possible. Am not serious, of course. But I think me being more open to donor sperm than egg shows I am a selfish middle-aged bitch. Which I am, no doubt.
But doing all testing around fertility to be sure it is not something simple blocking you from that one last baby, I think that you must do, for own peace of mind. To have no regrets when the time finally runs out for certain...

JuicySausage · 28/06/2013 17:23

Mozzarella, I understand Jass' point of view entirely. For me, this is my first baby and DH would have moved heaven and earth for me to have my dream. He even offered to forego his own sperm (we were offered double donor) if my confidence in his was not sparkling. It turned out, after four months of his being on zinc, brazil nuts and Co-Q10, that his SA was marvellous (his morphology jumped from 3-14-21% and his sperm count from 16-49-51 million). The point is, he wanted this baby more than anything and was prepared to give up his genetic inheritance, too.

There are lots of things I am happy to not pass on to my baby, mozzarella, not least my predilection for sporadic bouts of clinical depression and life-long anxiety issues. I'm actually rather happy that I'll be able to sit back when the child is being demonic and shrug: 'She definitely doesn't get that from me" Grin

JuicySausage · 28/06/2013 17:25

She??? Does my brain know something I don't? Confused Grin

jass43 · 28/06/2013 18:19

Juicy, your husband was very brave indeed, I think men are difficult to convince to go for donor sperm, and he so deserves finally to get his own stuff used!!!. And it is a point juicy you are making I could not make, never - that your genes are maybe worse than your donors. You truly are amazing person, not selfish at all. I have to confess I think not so much that my gene pool is magnificent, rather that knowing where that comes from makes it easier to tolerate. Quite the opposite to what you feel, in fact. Which shows people are amazingly different!

mozzarellamummy · 29/06/2013 06:22

jass I understand your point, I also thought ED was nothing for me before I lost my baby..It sadly was very traumatic as it was a late Tfmr and for me having another baby is « essentially vital»..I would also consider adoption, but dp doesn't agree on this either..and I feel selfish and guilty at the same time ... So I have doubts on how much pressure put on dp..For now as you suggest I'm having blood tests..and I am seriously considering counselling to deal with my grief

jass43 · 29/06/2013 12:32

I think counseling is really good idea. Convincing DH to have an IVF when he is not even sure about trying again is really tall order, but good luck if it finally comes to that. I hope you do get the dream of yours to come true. Also, I think that since in your last pregnancy it was not your body which failed, your chance of conceiving again even with an unwilling hubby are not so bad.....
I have a ton of ironing to do, I normally try to do all that fri afternoon, but due to cold have postponed. Now I must suffer through that during DS nap time. What a waste!

mozzarellamummy · 29/06/2013 14:18

Yes indeed we are amazingly different... jass I never iron because me and dp avoid any clothes that need ironing ..too lazy for that!

jass43 · 29/06/2013 15:11

Done. I do not use the drier, hence I need to iron also boys' Tshirts and all that. I feel a bit bad about dryers when I can get stuff dry under the sun. Ironing cancels out some of the effect and I am not a too bad treehugger, but theses drying machines somehow seem really noneco. But since I grew up in the world of no automatic washing machines, maybe I feel that using a wash machine is enough of a savings in hmework and hence an keep up ironing. I can proudly report that I stopped ironing bed linen about 4 years ago.

mozzarellamummy · 29/06/2013 16:21

I don't use the dryer either Blush but I admit our clothes look often rather wrinkly (is that the right word?)..

jass43 · 29/06/2013 21:50

How would I know whether wrinkly is a word at all or the word? Am not English;-)

But good to hear there are old fashioned people here as well as myself!

Original poster
hopefulgum · 29/06/2013 23:15

"wrinkly" is definitely a word, mozza and jass. And it aptly describes my face Grin

I am not a big fan of ironing, though I do like the effect it has on my clothing.I wear a lot of natural fibres, dry it all in the sun, so I do have to iron. But I just do it in the morning before I get dressed.

Saturday was another busy day, my daughter played netball,I swam my laps and by the time I got home, we had to turn around and go out to dinner with friends. It was a lovely evening, and they cooked a delicious three course meal for us which was lovely.

Today DS has a "playdate" at the beach, then I have knitting club this afternoon. I am really looking forward to a couple of weeks of doing very little. Only 7 more sleeps!Smile

Being so busy has taken my mind off most things ttc, but not completely. I am still open to it, and aware that it is probably my fertile time now. So we shall see how things pan out.

OP posts:
ZolaBuddleia · 30/06/2013 07:26

Hello everyone. Can I drop in? I'm 42 and TTC number 2. I have a 3 yo DD and DP has only recently come round to the idea of another. I feel despondent as I feel if only we'd tried 2 years ago things would be more positive.

Have gynae appointment on 1st Aug, hoping they prescribe something to help us. Is Clomid the first step?

jass43 · 30/06/2013 21:14

Hi Zola! I understand you just starting to try? Then why would doc prescribe clomid? Clomid will not be lightly prescribed for women over 40, as forcing more eggs out of them old ovaries will cause the anyway rubbish quality to drop. If you were proven to fail to ovulate, then maybe, but not just to help things along. Being 42 and with no history of mc (or do you have one?) you have every right to expect an instant pregnancy! Good luck!

Isabeller · 30/06/2013 22:48

Hi and hugs all round, I so appreciate everyone's good wishes. I'm still really knackered and struggling with nausea but it is starting to ease. xx Is

mamaslatts · 30/06/2013 23:10

Hi all
Haven't dropped in for a fair while. No BFP and have been using the clear blue fertility monitor. I've 3 months of 'high' fertility but never reached the 'peak' fertility status - does anyone know anything about this?
ta (ttc for 9 months now)

ZolaBuddleia · 01/07/2013 07:04

Sorry, should have given more info! Have been trying for 5 months, which I know in the grand scheme if things isn't long, but for us old birds every month counts, doesn't it?

Have had 1 miscarriage, so no, not 'a history'.

I mentioned Clomid because I thought that was the first stage of intervention. Have gynae appt next month so was trying to find out a bit about what tends to be offered to older women.
Had hysterosalpingogram before DD ( I reckon it helped me get pregnant, maybe I should squirt my fountain pen up there for the same effect!) and DP had SA at the same time.

I like the idea that it's my right to be immediately, instantly and absolutely pregnant RIGHT NOW! Grin

ZolaBuddleia · 01/07/2013 07:10

Also should have said on the ovulation side of things, had hormone tests done in March which were fine, although there is some uncertainty because at the time I was have very odd cycles so no one can be sure the tests were done on the right days of the month.
How can you know if you ovulate? I don't use a monitor as I have PCOS and I read that can give inaccurate readings.

Phew! Think that's everything now!

It's really great to hear some women here are getting pregnant.

ZolaBuddleia · 01/07/2013 07:13

Argh, just read that back. I mean, how does a doctor know if you're definitely ovulating? I know the signs for myself, but obviously that isn't definite ovulation.

Right, will stop typing now!

mozzarellamummy · 01/07/2013 08:37

zola welcome! A dr can be sure about ovulation only checking with a scan afterwards..I heard clomid is prescribed to women with PCOS ..but gum who is the real expert here says clomid is not the best thing for older women..there is another drug called Femera I think...I had clomid for one cycle and it didn't work,the follicle didn't explode..so she wanted me to stop.. Also on the following cycle I didn't have no EWCM at all..

mozzarellamummy · 01/07/2013 08:48

zola welcome! A dr can be sure about ovulation only checking with a scan afterwards..I heard clomid is prescribed to women with PCOS ..but gum who is the real expert here says clomid is not the best thing for older women..there is another drug called Femera I think...I had clomid for one cycle and it didn't work,the follicle didn't explode..so she wanted me to stop.. Also on the following cycle I didn't have no EWCM at all..

mozzarellamummy · 01/07/2013 08:58

sorry posted twice! jass we could make a deal, you get pregnancies sticky a as mines and I get pregnancies frequent as yours!! Grin and then we meet with our babies somewhere between Estonia, Luxemburg and Italy..like the idea?

CaliBee · 01/07/2013 18:27

A little voice in the corner here....remember I had clomid and it worked first cycle. I know it wasn't a good end (mmc) and I've not got a sniff of a positive since but at least I ovulated fairly regularly during the 5 cycles I took it for. Timing hasn't been great with DH away in the army but just to say clomid is good for some...not for others. :)

ZolaBuddleia · 01/07/2013 18:40

Hello in the corner! Sorry to hear about your MMC. Sorry also to hear you having timing issues with your OH being away, that must be crappy. The NHS should offer to FedEx his, er, contribution to you!

CaliBee · 01/07/2013 18:57

Haha....what a good idea!!
Welcome to you Zola :)