Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

Hello, please can I join? I am 41 (42 next month), I have one DD who is 2. I miscarried in March :(( after ttc for 6 months - but the trying was a bit random. Before my DD I sadly had a son that was stillborn so pregnancy is all a bit stressy for me. I am USELESS with dates and travel a lot with work. I would love another baby and want to get really 'try' properly (that sounds odd!) Any tips? My period is normally regular 16th or 17th of each month. ANY advice would be really appreciated xx

Welcome panic. Sorry to hear about your mc and even moRe so for your stillbirth. A bit stressy must be a mild way of putting this for you.....
With your history of falling pg relatively normally, I would suggest at the maximum to try some OV tests to try to not miss out on that OV with all the travelling etc. or if it suits you, basal body temping, but I found it personally impossible with every morning starting with my smaller boy falling not our bed

Hi Jass, many thanks for your advice when you say OV tests is that the Clearblue digital kit type thingy? thanks again x

Hi to panic and vortex

gum big fingercrossing for you for this month. I do think as we get older we have differing pre-menstrual symptoms. Maybe it should be renamed progesterone reactions.

and to littlepink hopefully swimmies were in place for you too.

isabeller when can you test?

jbrd so glad to hear your job is going well. Do keep us updated with news from your accupuncturist, it sounds very interesting.

I'm just back from Yorkshire having spent a couple of days up there watching DF pass off from Army training. Very proud I am. Just 2 weeks now until the big day...eeeek.

5dpo and dearest of friends have arranged a night out on Saturday...I may have to test in the morning to see if I can have a few glasses of bubbly.

Welcome to panic. I am so sorry for your losses.

You don't necessarily have to invest in a clearblue digital kit, you can buy cheapie sticks (opks) by the dozen or more on the internet which work fine.

Hi Calibee, lovely knews that DF has passed off from training. What happens now? I can't believe it is only two weeks til your wedding. HOw exciting.

jass, sounds like the consult has put your mind at rest a bit, which is great. I do hope this faint + turns into a blaringingly obvious + and a little baby in 9 months.

Despite another lovely high temperature today, at 10 dpo, I got a clear BFN on a first response test. I feel a bit down about it as I've had so many symptoms which,yes are probably just hormones doing a number on my brain, but they feel so like pregnancy symptoms. Last night I had hellish heartburn. I hardly ever get it, but I do when I am pregnant. I suppose it isn't over til the fat lady sings (or AF turns up), but I already have that sense of impending doom which is probably PMS. It sucks. I was really hoping for a + this time as I am pretty tired of the whole thing, and would love to just have a baby and get on with it...

Thanks for the welcome!

Panic, we are newbie buddies!

I am 42. Had 1 mc before dc2 and a mmc before dc3 () but all pregnancies were pretty much instantaneous. DH just kinda winked at me and BFP!

Have no idea what we are going to do to help this happen because until recently I didn't think we'd need help getting pregnant (staying pregnant, obviously we were not so confudent about). All this about ov/opk kits and temperature taking is something I'm trying to get my head around. DH just thinks we need to try harder...

Panic, I use Internet cheapie OV tests and they have got me pregnant countless times. At our age it is great help, I find:-). It is possible they act differently for everyone, but if you use them for several months you start to understand how they work in relation to your cycle. Mine almost never actually get pos, I.e. line stronger than control, but I do not bother about that - if the line comes up, more or less equal to control, it's OV.
If ou nevertheless get doubts about whether ou OV at all, you need temping, but only if you think that might be the case.

Vortex, it is quite common to be habitual miscarries and instadiffer at the same time, I have noticed from this forum and a few others as well. If you read the preg on pred threads there are loads of these cases and quite often they have to try immune treatments to maintain a pregnancy. On the other hand, if you sustain roughly every second pregnancy it is not much of a worry, you might be just rejecting genetically deficient embryos.

Gum, sorry for BFN, but do you know how many DPO you have shown up in previous pregnancies. You might still be, you know.

My test showed again a weak pos, but slightly clearer than yesterday. It was still this blue dye test with actually quite low sensitivity of 20, but around 10 minutes a line appears then becomes quite clear when test dries. I am now convinced I am not eating my prednisolone in vain.
Will not test for few days now hopefully, run out of tests and anyway it gets interesting around 20 DPO. If I am not getting equal lines by then I know this pregnancy is doomed. Even if I get equals then it might still
be doomed, but then I should get a weaker line at some point. I will only go to doc if I get to 7 weeks with strong lines and no bleeding. That's my plan for low-maintenance, not seeking answers or assurance - early assurance would not lessen the likelyhood of later probs in any way.

Hope it gets darker for you jass!

I'm out yet again .
Bfn today on a frer . AF due thurs so know that's it.

Bitterly disappointed and deflated. Feel worthless and barren . This gets no easier.

Sorry gum just read your post... Mother Nature can be both wonderful and wicked..playing tricks on you. X

Sorry for bad news, pink. Will send some sympathetic smiley when I figure out why my iPad does not see them. Too lazy to browse on real computer, it's much faster on bloody pad, but this thing is terrible to use for writing....

Feeling barren is often helped by some wine, maybe try that? I have to admit since wine is what you can not have when pregnant, the only good thing about not being pregnant is the ability to consume the said drink....
Right now would like some delicious red Bordeaux with my lamb roast for the evening...you want I send you some virtual Bordeaux? I believe even virtual kind would be cheaper here than where you all are? We all here know how nothing alleviates he pain you feel.....but we stay strong, cause if we stop trying there is no chance whatsoever, so trying must give us better chances, mustn't it?

Hi,

Newbie here.....may I join? I am 41 with a surprise 10mth old after 15 yrs of infertility. She came about naturally (although I had lost lots of weight and had got myself fit by taking up running) and, together with my 6 yr old adopted daughter, is the centre of my world. I am desperate to get pregnant again, whilst I have the chance. Probably TMI but, despite being regular, my periods have been 'different' since my baby's birth....lots of clots, bright red and heavy! So, I hope 'things' are 'in order' down there!!! Started to take Pregnacare Conception tablets and am using a Clearblue digital ovulation kit. Only one other thing to do I suppose, but am too knackered most of the time!!!!

Tigg

Welcome tigger, lovely that you had a baby after 15 years of infertility. As for the change in your periods, an acupuncturist would say there's some "stagnation" if there are clots. Can you go to acupuncture? I think it works wonders. I had painful clotty AF, but acupuncture sorted it out for me.

Pink, you have my sympathy, love, I'm in exactly the same boat, and yes it doesn't get any easier. I have been ttc for such a long time, you'd think I'd get used to it, but I haven't at all. It is still a blow when I get my hopes up and still there's a bfn. If women got pregnant through commitment and perseverance, I'd definitely be pregnant by now. If it was because they were deserving, having been through heartache after heartache, then there would be hundreds of women who wouldn't be on mumsnet trying so hard to have a baby. But we both know that isn't the case. I have been on the 40+ ttc threads on mumsnet since 2009, and I am still here, having watched hundreds of different women join this thread, get pregnant and leave. I really thought I would be one of them by now.

But like jass says, what can we do but keep on trying?If we stop there will be no chance at all. However, it's perfectly normal to feel completely sick of it all. I know I do.

On a brighter note, I am a lucky mummy to have had my DS in 2008, at age 41 and 3/4. Yesterday we visited with friends, and he ran around with their two year old who was born just after my first miscarriage, seeing them run around together made me sad that DS didn't get his little sibling, who would be close to that age, and a wonderful playmate for DS.

Jass, you said something about sensitivities caused by having sons. I found that interesting, as both my miscarriages that they did tests on found I had sons. The first miscarriage was due to a chromosomal abnormality, but the next one (though they botched the tests the first time, when repeated) showed no abnormality. Then I miscarried a third time at 5-6 weeks - my tests never really got dark, and I wonder if maybe I have a sensitivity too. I had some blood tests which suggested an autoimmune condition may be imminent (but not present yet), which had me thinking that maybe I was rejecting the fetuses. My doctor is not convinced. She was prepared to put me on progesterone if I get a bfp, but thinks the miscarriages are age-related.

This is all conjecture as I can't even seem to get pregnant anymore. I have had 9 pregnancies (five THBs) in total, but now that I am past 45, I can't seem to do it again. It's been a year since my last bfp, I wonder if I will ever see one again?

Seeing family so only a teeny update, we have a week to wait until I can test. I've not been feeling too well today which could be a bad sign, a good sign or nothing.

Trying to stay calm and focussed but not enjoying Clexane injections much. xx to all Is

Just found this thread, can I join too?

I find it hard to discuss my attempts to conceive with friends and family as I find it too upsetting when nothing happens but I think I have isolated myself a bit too much. So this thread may be a godsend!

I am 42 (43 in August) and my DH is 47 and we have been TTC for 2 years and 1 month. We only met in 2007 and were rather slow to have the ?do we want kids? conversation, which I regret now but at the time I was scared that I might scare him off!

Once DH and I had been trying for 6 months I went to GP and was referred for tests and was diagnosed as having unexplained infertility as every thing was working fine (although DH sperm count was a little low apparently)

We were told at that time that we were not eligible for IVF as I was 41 and too old and we could not afford to pay privately (plus I?m not sure I actually want IVF). But apart from this the consultation was staggeringly non-informative and I came away thinking that besides paying for IVF there was nothing else that could be done.

Reading all the threads on here I feel I have been somewhat naïve. I do vaguely work out what day I might be ovulating but that is about it.

So any top tips on what I can try to increase my chances?

Ooh actually, I've just seen the top tips link at the top of the page. I'll have a look there!

Lovely words,thank you gumx

Welcome xabiuol ! I'll be 43 in August too. You'll get lots of support here from a great bunch of ladies.

Sorry cant chat more as ds to get dressed and then I'm off for an hours spinning

Welcome, tigg and xabi. I think xabi you might want to go private to look up other possible areas of investigations that your regualr doc probably did not do. Check out superovulation and pregnant on prednislone threads, there are loads of women who need help either ovulating or implanting, there might be physical causes like polypes/adhesions i utero which will be visible only in hysterosalpingtomy, your tubes can be checked whether they are passable etc. YOu have no time to lose, start monitoring whether you have ov according to ov sticks (and even then you might not have it when they are pos,still need to confirm with day 21 tests). There are loads of things to do and you must hurry up, time is short in your hands.

Tigg, it might well be that clotty period is indeed a good sign, esp. as it appeared only when your infertility suddenly reversed. I always had heavy, painful,clotty periods when younger and no fertility issues.

Hopeful, if you think the immune reactions casued by sensitivity after having had boys is your problem, go check out your HLA mutations - there are 3 or 4 of them alltogether, and no harm done getting the rest of the immune panel done. But at our age they might be not suggesting too expensive treatments cause the risk of sustaining an unhealthy embryo is high - that is why I will also not be doing IVIG. But in GB;intralipids are offered and they are much, much cheaper. I understand there is Dr. Quenby you can access somewhere ublic and Dr. Shehata in private sphere and some others, this is what I have picke dup from the threads here, also Dr. Quenby was the PhD tutor for my doc in my native homeland.

Isabeller staying calm with you - you for that bfp, me for that bfp having some staying power. The longest it has taken me to go wrong was last attempt, by DPO 22, so 10 days to wait. If I get so far at all....This time at least I do not do injections. I have no proven clotting issues, but have experimented with heparin. Oh the lovely blue spots....

Morning all - welcome to the newbies
Gum how are things? Are temps still high-ish? Reading your posts I sense that you have a very good GP and my hunch would be that it has simply been age-related issues that have accounted for your mcs. Interesting about the boy thing though jass - I remember reading something about this about 8 years or so ago, but didn't know if it was still current etc. Congrats on your bfp btw!
isabeller I am very excited for you, though I'm sure you are feeling incredibly stressed (with a bit of excitement thrown in)
pink sorry about bfn and all the horrible disappointment that goes with it. I admire your commitment to exercise as opposed to the chocolate-route. Phew, spinning is tough (distant memory)
calibee not long now to your wedding at all now - still waiting for person-filled wedding dress photo!
Well all fine her - 18 wks today. Have cervical measurement scan this afternoon (NOT the dreaded colp which I have not def decided not to have). It will be an internal scan which I've not had before, so a bit eeek. I think my body will go into shock about having anything inserted!! Will report back with findings. Anything over 2.5 cm will suit me fine! (cervix length, not probe!)

How are all our BFP ladies? sparkly,green, notsoold and good to hear you are almost half way there diege! Excited for you isabeller

Feeling positive despite the bfn because of you ladies... Thank you

Littlepink....
Delurking to report that I am still her in my 17+4 weeks. My levels of anxiety are still high as I will not rest until baba is here...does it makes sense???

Hopeful like you I always knew kind of early on my other pregnancies but this time although the cbfm showed as high never showed as peak and my ov was 4 days before af was due.I only dtd because did not wanted dh thinking that I only have sex in exchange for babies :)... And ov occurred 5 days after dtd...talk about luck....

I am always reading the posts as somehow this feels like home....
Ps ds is better and back to his eating/ sleeping/ laughing self. I am glad that my herbs were enough as it meant he avoid upset stomach with antibiotics ( side effects affecting lots of us in the family)

Good to hear abut happy healthy over 40 prenancies

Hi . notsoold I know what you mean about continual worry, but thing are looking good and you are nearly half way there!
Back from scan and all looking fine. Cervix measuring 4cm in length so pretty chuffed with that. Measured at 2.8cm at 13 weeks, but it can change apparently (ie. grow) and is now within normal limits (3-4cm good). Saw baby wriggling around and measuring ok - short legs big head, just as they have all been at this gestation. Just the 20 week scan now and I will start to relax a little!

Diege...excellent news!! And it is always good to see LO!!!

I gave in and bought a doppler. Waiting for it to arrive. DH says that it will be useful on the next pregnancy... How optimist is dh??? Took us a while for this pg!!!!

Thanks! When's your 20 wk scan by the way? ooh a Doppler - I personally have avoided as I think I would use it obsessively, but if it reassuring for you that's great

Glad to hear your news notsooold wow 17 weeks....!

So, let me get this straight... You ov 4 days before AF would have been due but had actually Dtd for the final time 5 days before you ovulated??

In my book,that's a miracle!!

So lovely to hear about you seeing your little ones!