It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in her thirties in possession of a ticking biological clock MUST be in want of a baybee.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The former thread proved full of sadness and most vexatious disappointments, wherefore we know not :(. Therefore the BESH will be donning their empire dresses and enlisting the assistance of Captain Wentworth and his admirable breeches and Mr Darcy smouldering damply in his transparent white shirt both of whom with their pleasing countenances and sound judgements and enormous fortunes, in short both of whom are everything a young man ought to be in the expectation that happier times may be ahead for the BESH.

only read 1st page of thread

My friends think I'm a Lydia, my family think I'm a Mary, and I think I'm a Lizzy (hope DH does as well...well he certainly thinks my family are mad enough)

Ummm possibly you should read the thread huddling.

lol! TLDR

huddling if you had read the whole of the first page you would see it was for long term TTCers. It is always a good idea to read the full thread on mumsnet anyway, to prevent oneself putting one's foot in it and making a complete tit of oneself.

rasp how's the finger? Raised and elevated I hope?

Perhaps instead of a feem as such, our next thread should be 'back to basics.' Lots of gin, fish and references to dildocamming, etc.

Finger was ok ish but I just washed up and now it's blummin bleeding again.

I reckon new Fred needs to be "BESH private premises. No trespassers permitted. Only bitter, selfish gin loving childless hags allowed. 'Moments of pure love' and instadiffers can fuck royally off."

Too much?

I had to google TLDR. Made me want to punch her in the face. Too much?

Perfect rasp, if I end up doing the next fred I'll copy and paste that!

MrsFC - just enough

TLDR?? I prefer INRATS but either response deserves a ninja kick to the face.

Finger still bleeding and now throbbing. Haven't had a shower today but I'm not risking getting soap in it. MATV is just going to have to have a sexy wife.

Haha, bless auto correct - I meant smelly wife not sexy wife.

rasp I have a knife phobia and HATE bleeding. I grated my thumb last week and it bled for hours. And that was just grated. Pressure, pressure, pressure and elevation?

I have a very tight plaster on it but keep bumping it :( I ought to just go to bed I think, at least ill be safe there!

Ouch! Poor Rasp :(. Keep it sutures.

Hello FC, good to see you xxx

Hello hags, have been awol this weekend of familial duty. Twas rather intense and I'm very glad it's over.

Next fred should be something like "This is a thread for barren people in their thirties. Newbies welcome if they fit the criteria. No one else is."

Sorry hags. I feel responsible for the invaders. I should have worded better

SutureD.

Oh and "TLDR"???? Fuck off then, my love.

Back to basics for next fred is definitely the way forward.

How was/is your dad hest?

TLDR? Bint.

In fact, sod the thread, the title is enough on its own to make people realise there's something odd going on.

Actually, you're right. Doesn't the title contain the phrase "ticking biological clock"?

And and and... IT'S IN CONCEPTION.

Oh yes, forgot that bit. IT'S IN CONCEPTION YOU DUMB FECKERS!

Sorry, I've just been watching Father Ted and have gone all Irish.

More like cuntception with the weirdos that have come along.

An Irish fred?