It is a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in her thirties in possession of a ticking biological clock MUST be in want of a baybee.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The former thread proved full of sadness and most vexatious disappointments, wherefore we know not :(. Therefore the BESH will be donning their empire dresses and enlisting the assistance of Captain Wentworth and his admirable breeches and Mr Darcy smouldering damply in his transparent white shirt both of whom with their pleasing countenances and sound judgements and enormous fortunes, in short both of whom are everything a young man ought to be in the expectation that happier times may be ahead for the BESH.

Oooh drizzle-san you lucky thing, have a marvellous time :)

I don't think a diet thread would do me any favours. I can ignore feeling hungry most of the time, but reading about recipes makes it worse! I have next to no little willpower, so instead our house has next to no food in it. Still, at least not working means no access to a canteen or vending machines full of delicious crap.

Have some noodles for me, driz! How exciting!

And sorry about the temp drop cap'n. Are you having your hormone levels looked at?

Driz, how thrilling! A journey to the orient! Have fun!

Twinks - sort of. I've had the usual blood tests but the gynae is currently more interested in cutting me up. He's put the procedure down as "consultant only" which raised eyebrows yesterday at the pre-op. I'd rather he explored none invasive options first, but he's all excited about my fibroid/cyst/mystery lump. He's said we'll explore prog. deficiency after the surgery..

That's shitty. What's his justification?

Do doctors make you make appointments if hormone levels are normal btw?

Thanks ladies, I am very much looking forward to it and it will put the shitty flu-cycle out of our minds very effectively, I believe

I missed the desparate consultant wanting to chop you up cap'n what a nob. Massive good luck with it.

What do you mean twink? All my hormone levels are decidedly normal, hence being unexplained, and since it has been forever nearing the three year point OMG they want me to come for appointments at regula intervals. So yes, sometimes they treat you, preferably with sledge hammer nut approach that is IVF for apparently functioning couples...

moll that seems a little odd. It must eb the most expensive option for the NHS.

drizz that sounds amazing - it is somewhere I have wanted to go for ages.

twink my hormone levels were normal (we're unexplained) and were still referred on.

In Euronews, the mc seems to be toning down. I'm at the simply delightful "brown sludge" stage. It started a week ago today, so I am hoping it will be done soon. But more positively, I am feeling much more like myself and even seem to be getting a bit of energy back.

Euro, really glad to hear things are picking up and you're starting to feel better. FX for a speedy recovery and successful future embies

Twinks - my theory is this: I know the consultant has a blog where he records cases, largely for the education of his patients, as well as for students etc. My lump is most likely a fibroid on a stem, which I understand is more unusual than the usual lumpy uterine wall. Or it's some kind of exciting cyst. I think he wants to get in there and look at it and have a good case study out if it. I should probably be pissed off about that, but mostly I don't mind - if my weird insides add to the sum of human knowledge etc etc.
Also, though it's very unlikely that the lump is connected to my barrenness, I think he wants to check it out in case it's threatening to do something more serious.

driz room in the suitcase for a small one?
cap'n apologies for being a chart bore but a dip below coverline at this stage doesn't mean you're out IMO
euro glad you're feeling better
In other news I'm afraid you can pack the nipple tassels away. The droid has arrived. Repeat after me, early testing is naughty, early testing is naughty, early testing is naughty...
Ps. If ever in your life you desperately want/need the droid to arrive can't think of a situation where that would be true but just in case buy a £14 2 pack of digi tests. It arrived within 9 minutes of me handing over my cash

Ach, sorry Merk. I've had that happen with preg test purchases before. Vexing.

Hello. Tis, I the former part fish/part human combo. I decided on a namechange. I was fed up of most things including my username.

Never test early is my motto. It's a pisser.

Liking the new name, FormerlyFishy.

Oooh brown sludge euro. Yum. My favourite But in seriousness, glad you're starting to feel a bit better.

merk sorry. That's poo. How are you feeling?

MollyMalone I suppose it would ultimately need doing anyway, so suppose its not that bad. Still odd though.

Doctor phoned me back after I posted. Apparently my FSH and LH levels are inverted or reversed or something which suggests PCOS, so more tests and another dildocam, although my last dildocam appeared normal I believe. So I spent the afternoon Googling when I should have been sleeping. Now I am on a night shift and struggling to stay awake. Also struggling to not eat shit already.

bugs well done you. I couldn't face kettlebells before my first night. Hope you don't ache too much.

Sorry for the droid Merkin, I hate it when it mocks you like that.

Nice name change Hester

Are you joining me in Club PCOS then Twinks? It's not great, but a diagnosis gives you something to fight, I find. For what it's worth, the ultrasound nurse that did my first scan said she couldn't see any signs of PCOS. The fertility consultant wasn't very impressed with that as she said (at an appt 2 weeks later) that my ovaries were "classic PCOS"

Ooo, new name!

PCOS is a weird thing. As far as I know, I don't have PCOS (hormones all bang on normal, regular cycles) but I do have one polycystic ovary. Bizarre.

Sorry, Merk :(

Brown sludge, you say? Where does that stand in the BESH paint chart? I'll have to have a hunt round for it.

I am so so so so so so so so sick to death of reading about "Pregnant Kate". Is that her new name? "Pregnant Kate"?

Then stay off the Daily Mail website Hester

I know! Isn't it awful? It's like a crack habit.

(i feel weird being called Hester but shall persevere. After all we got used to calling Jethro Jethro, didn't we?)

Shall I call you Hesty instead?

I too have a Sidebar of Shame habit

I have tried to break my Sidebar of Shame habit. There are only so many 'wobbly slebs' who are nothing of the sort, followed by 'why are our daughters dying of anorexia?' then 'all your children are obese!' articles, spread with a thick coating of misogyny, that I can take normally, but sometimes Kim Kardashian wears a particularly awful outfit that lures me back in.

I am somewhat in -denial-- shock that there might be something "wrong" with me. And even less inclined to see my instadiffer 'friend' (that was a complete caaaah at Christmas) for Easter.

I also have a Daily Mail habit. It's a bit like sugar - you know you shouldn't, but it's addictive and you find you just cannot help yourself. And then you hate yourself for gorging.