TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

This whole business is about interminable waits. They are all horrible.

Joy so far I have nothing worse than old style period cramps (I used to get some absolute shockers - they eased considerably after I started having acu and the flow became less clotty). But they are not nice!

Euro im sorry about the grim fallout.

My fsh is 10.2 I know this is not an end of the world figure. Our nhs cutoff is 10.2 and under so I am still 'normal' and I scrape through for ivf. Given my entire family had v late menopause though I am puzzled by it. I'm sure it's one more nail in the coffin of making a baby by ourselves. I hate this. No doubt I have fancy amh matching values awaiting me.

rabbit that really isn't that high, and it still means you qualify for IVF, so that is a huge positive.

Have you heard about the effects of stress on FSH? It can send levels all over the place. www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=171883.0

Thanks euro. I know is not disastrous. But it's my second borderline value and I was hoping it would be under 9. It just makes me feel mouldy egg laden and that it's my fault. And as for iui...maybe I should just crack on. Except I don't have a consultant at the moment! Ballbags.

euro I am sorry about the fallout. This is a grim process for you. Are you still at work?

joy how are you?

rabbit Oh jeez at another curve ball. I think joycep is right when she said about being reduced to numbers. There is more to all this I am sure and a slightly off result doesn't mean curtains. You know that having irregular/wappy cycles can give inaccurate readings? Euro is right too, you still qualify for IVF

Thank you for your wise words RE fertilisation. I guess that I just felt artificially buoyed yesterday by the unexpected yield! I also am a bit scared that apparently sperm takes over now in the process and MrP has issues on that front. That said after frantically Googling fertilisation rates, big mistake I came across another forum where a lady said how it is important to concentrate on the surviving embies not those that are lost. It made me feel a little clearer in my mind

6 embies is amazing. :)

On another thread I was talking about my friend who had IVF and got 36 eggs! I think 4 made it to transfer/freezing, and she got her entire family from that batch (a singleton and id twins). More eggs doesn't necessarily mean more embies. You have 6 little embies growing away now. :) When do you hear from the clinic next?

Having spoken to the clinic this morning she implied that we will just go for ET on Thursday afternoon unless they call us on Thursday morning to say otherwise. I should have asked for clarification but was reeling a bit. Idiot that I am.

Are you okay?

Oh Rabbit ? when we are giving these horrible numbers that make us feel like shit, there is nothing that can be really said. A figure of 10.2 doesn?t suggest for a moment that you are heading towards the menopause though ? you?re way way off. What?s to say that your mum or other family members didn?t have similar numbers at your age. This is why it?s so ridiculous as plenty of women will conceive with way higher numbers but are none the wiser. One FSH number though doesn?t really give much evidence for anything though. You need AFC, AMH and fsh to get an idea of fertility health. But still people can have shocking numbers (which your fsh isn?t) and still get pregnant. I can talk but please don?t blame yourself. Our bodies will do what they always will have done. I really dont? believe that what we did in our past will really have any bearing on now. Our bodies are very good at mending.

Pout ? 6 is good. it really is. I read somewhere that if you make it to transfer day that is a success in itself. I tried to tell myself that even though all the while i was thoroughly disappointed that we didn?t get any frosties.
And does sperm really take over now? Do we think this is myth or fact? Can i blame Roy that most our embryos self destructed after day 3 or was it really the quality of my eggs?

That sounds about right, pout.

I'm doing ok. Nurofen is keeping things under control at the moment. I've had more pain and blood with a normal period, but I suspect I haven't hit the worst of it yet.

joy at our open day we were told it is the swimmers that carry the embryo forward after day 3. I haven't seen the research behind that though.

Ok that is interesting Euro.

Pout -please don't worry. We pull everything apart and we know too much. 6 embryos is worth celebrating and there is so much hope. I am wooping them on.

Rabbit -phew, that result is fine, absolutely fine. You have options for natural and ivf cycles and that is brilliant. Mentaly file that result away. Nothing to worry about, you have great chances and I hope you can start planning your next step. You deserve to feel positive.

Euro -sorry for ouchy cramps but glad things are moving on. Take it easy tonight.

Waves and paw squeezes to all. Xx

Joy -I agree your company dont deserve you. Do something fun this week, cinema or meal out maybe?

pout 6 is good number you only need one to work :) but I can understand that you would like to freeze some. I'm sure you won't need them.

euro I hope things move along swiftly for you

rabbit I think having your fsh tested in a month or two would be good to see how it compares, it will be in the NHS 'normal' range. This is not game over

joy take care of yourself and do what feels right for you, don't worry about anything else, you are what matters right now.

I woke up this morning actually thinking it was the weekend although I've had a bit of a lazy day, one home visit and then a meeting followed by an extended leaving lunch .

I've got my prescription so just need to get it filled, they have given me a list of pharmacies I can contact for overseas prescriptions, I think I have worked out the protocol too so roll on next week :)

my boobs are still sore perhaps I need a new bra

Evening lovely ladies,

euro glad the pain is manageable with ibuprofen for now but please do take care of yourself.

joy you most definitely are tough! Even just emotionally going back today was very brave. I know others who have worked through miscarriages though, for some of us staying home just means time to obsess over things, while working and carrying on is about moving forward. No idea which one I would actually be if it ever comes to that......

pout 6 sounds fab to me . Thursday is just around the corner as well.

buzzy getting prescriptions filled makes it all seem very very real doesn't it. Sore boobs are an interesting state of affairs but I used to be the symptom spotting queen so will back away now

sar have been thinking of you lots today and hoping your woo lady is right and no news is good news on the symptom front. The waiting is so hard.

rabbit I think anything that keeps you in line for nhs treatment is nothing to be worried about. They aren't going to spend money on people who don't have a chance. Sar is right, take this in your stride and file it away. We are not our mothers or grandmothers (mine got pregnant on every form of birth control going!).

My appointment was good. No one made us feel awkward about the admin mix up which was nice. MrM performed under pressure and embryologist confirmed that he is perfectly normal on all fronts which is a bloody big relief. This was expected but in the back of my mind I was fearing a change. My amh is 8.0 which they were happy to say is well within the normal range. So, onwards and upwards to ivf. I am to take my last injection on Friday (lasts four weeks) and then they will do baseline scan Monday. Will go back on April 11th to be given the swimming drugs to start as the decapeptyl wears off. So looks like I will be testing early to mid may all going well xx

Off to watch spiral on the box. We are obsessed and I can't watch it (French with English subtitles) while chatting to all you lovelies at the same time.

Big waves to everyone else!!!

Pout ? 6 is absolutely fine. As everyone is saying? you only need one! I am willing them on?

Euro ? I hope you are not in too much pain. Hope it will happen without too much pain & discomfort to you. You are a trooper for being at work!

Joy ? I hope you are feeling okay. Like Euro, you are a trooper for being at the office today after what you have been through.

Rabbit ? 10 is not bad at all. As everyone else has said already, FSH is changes so much month to month. I know when I have had mine done, they changed quite a lot. I know it's easier said than done but it's best to not put too much emphasis on just the numbers.

Buzzy ? glad you had a nice lazy day.

Freedom ? how did the testing go? My official test date is tomorrow but my period arrived today as expected. I can tell this is going to be a period from hell.

Euro & Joy ? Why do you think so many docs think immune is rubbish and unproven? I saw my NHS consultant today and she told me it would be ?unethical? to test for it, let alone treat it. I feel slightly at a loss as to what to do. I don't science isn't absolute but opinions vary so widely. I have to decide if I want to wait until Jan 2014 for NHS ivf, go private and lose my nhs go, if go private where to go? Decisions? decisions?

Evening lovelies!

Just popping in to post a quick word of warning to euro. My clinic told me not to use ibuprofen unless I couldn't bear it on paracetamol alone as it inhibits the cramps needed to expel the embie.

Warning: TMI following, but when I was mc-ing, I needed experiences to tell me what was happening. My pregnancy stopped only a few days further along than yours and it came out 10 days later, I'd been bleeding like a normal-ish period for 5 days at that point. The expelling cramps were something you could not mistake, apparently I turned white as a sheet and I set there rocking around my hot water bottle unable to talk. I was in so much pain I could not find the painkillers right in front of me. After about an hour or two of severe cramps I passed the sac, it was recognisable as something totally different. After that the pain eased as fair bit. I continued to fill a maxi pad every 30-60 minutes for two days. I only emerged from our flat on day 3, still bleeding a lot. So if your mc is going to be anything like mine, this is not it, but it might well be the beginning. Here to hand-hold, with more biscuits and P&P.
End of grim bit.

Six embies is fab pout. Keeping everything crossed for PERFECT development. And of course it only takes one.

Incredibly impressed with you joy. Take care of yourself and take the time you need!

Sorry about the disappointment rabbit. But that number is nothing to worry about and you get a NHS-go which is great. As to IUI or IVF, if you can face it, I would go for a few rounds of IUI to give it a try and ease yourself into IVF.

Generalised waves and pats and handholds and feathers to the rest of you lovely ladies.

madness I've had sore boobs since AF to now which is cd 16??? I think its my hormones that are all over the place, glad your appointment went well, you'll be a couple of weeks ahead of me then :)

sea sorry AF has shown up :( Its a tough decision to make

Just a quick one to say to pout try not to panic. If they'd asked you at the beginning, how many developing embryos would be a good result, you'd have taken 6 as a great result, yes? Honestly it's my belief that producing so many eggs can never mean they are all good quality. I think that's why I had a good fertilisation rate with just 3 eggs. Best of luck with ET :)

Rabbit. Paw squeeze. You know only too well my reaction to the numbers; but whilst it is still there hanging over me, having had a very-nearly successful round of IVF () it's no longer the death knell I once thought of it. Of course a lower number might feel better, but I was categorically told my low AMH did not mean I was about to hit menopause, and that mum's experience was way more relevant. So another try not to panic for you!

Joy and euro I have been reading and silently supporting you both in your awesome-ness.

Sea I have no views on the immunes as it's not something I think is my problem; but I guess it logically makes sense to me. Maybe it's just very hard to figure out how to prove it's an issue, hence the reluctance of doctors to believe it?

Madness I am so pleased you both had good results. I think we will be cycling at a similar time.

I have heard that the sperm can correct many issues with the egg; I've not necessarily heard that the swimmers are responsible for the embryo survival though.

Just watching supersize v superskinny. They are doing a one year on episode. I was watching the skinny girl who had just got married, and said to Mr Nelly "oh I bet she's pregnant at the catch up". Guess what . So I just need to eat like a fat person and I'll get pregnant, yeah?

Much luffs to everyone, sorry I am not being very good at keeping up, but I am reading.

Keeping stuff crossed for you too sarlat. And no symptoms can be good news :)

How exciting you're moving towards IVF now madness and well done on the excellent numbers. Fingers crossed for a lovely early 2014 madbaybee.

Difficult decisions seaview on when to start and where. How old are you again - that would feature into my decisions? Any chance of a few more IUIs while you're waiting? And could you do the unethical tests elsewhere? Early 2014 sounds a long time away...

Wow stuff is moving here, have you picked the stuff up yet buzzy?

X-post waves to nelly. You sound happy-busy. Hope all is well!

Hi all

pout six embies is fantastic! Absolutely fantastic, as everyone says. I think the next few days are bound to be really hard, you're in the eye of the storm right now. You've done brilliantly and you're nearly on the home stretch. Will be willing them on.

euro a massive, massive hug and handhold to you. This is really, really hard. You are getting through it, and that's all you can do. The fact it's painful just adds insult to injury - as if it wasn't mentally painful enough already, without adding physical suffering. I am thinking of you and wishing you strength.

sar I hope you're ok, I know this next two weeks are going to be really stressful. Hoping that your two embies are settling in and making themselves comfortable, and that you are ok during the wait.

joy thinking of you. This time is just the pits. Getting through it requires enormous personal strength and grace which you have in spades, but please be gentle on yourself and go home to rest if you can.

sea sorry that your period arrived, that is really disappointing. As if you haven't had a rough enough ride already!

free good news that it's onwards and upwards to IVF. What a relief! Never heard of spiral - is it any good?

Apologies for curtailed catch up - more tomorrow. Had a lovely weekend with my mum, we went round Ikea and got a desk, a desk chair, and a TV stand. She rearranged all my furniture in our spare bedroom and made it look really nice, and brought over lovely old Persian rugs that she'd picked up in an auction for me that she laid around the room. It looks a bit 'welcome to the casbah' but in a good way. She was only here for 36 hours but it was enough for us to have lots of quality time and she is one person who truly understands my TTC woes, having had a long wait before my sister, that involved 2 mcs and a stillbirth. What I am going through is not as bad as what she had to deal with - puts things in perspective for me.

rabbit just read back and realised that saying we are not the same as our mothers was perhaps not what you wanted to hear, given that yours had late menopause . I just meant that we will each follow our own path. I was scared for a long time that I would be just like my mum (multiple miscarriages from all of those easy conceptions) but now I realise that my path is just very different to hers and there's no point stressing now about whether my hard fought pregnancy whenever it turns up will go the same way as so many of hers did. I shall sail through pregnancy with nary a twinge, all glowing and angelic .

nelly I wonder if we will actually pass each other in the corridors of a clinic up here, if we are cycling at similar times. There were lots of couples in today and I did wonder.

Thanks lemon. I'm a bit frightened of getting my hopes up. All has been quite calm around here while I've been on the downregging drugs. There has been no 2ww, no hope followed by familiar disappointment, just acceptance that nothing will happen until ivf. MrM is petrified of my reaction if it doesn't work. They said 30-35% chance of it working for us so I need to stay realistic.

Was very odd watching multiple men disappear off with nurses and then come back resolutely not discussing with their partners what they'd just been up to down the hall

Cross post critter. Glad you had a good weekend. I love rearranging furniture and feeling like things are fresh and new. I'm also glad you have a supportive mum.

Spiral was me - it's a French crime drama on bbc4. Been on for several series but I just started watching with MrM after he got hooked. Lots of really dysfunctional cops and lawyers and judges, lots of intrigue and mindless distraction

lemon i'm waiting to hear from the other thread to confirm that they will deliver :)