TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Amazeballs pout! That is a fine crop indeed :) Make sure you take it easy over the next few days. My ovaries were ver sore. Hopefully Mr P's sperms are getting it on with your eggs in the Petri dish

joy pleased to hear you are ok too. You are so brave. Big hugs x

Sorry didn't mean to make everyone panic about the plan b thing! I think our friends were convinced the 1st round would work and then totally thrown when it didn't, which is why it was helpful for them. I think even planning nice treats like mini breaks etc can help. But sorry, please don't think about it if it's not helpful.

sar not feeling pregnant doesn't mean that you aren't! I have everything crossed for you. Ditto free

mrsd I too think icsi will work for you! Your DH's SA was much better than dave's unable to find any normal forms morphology I think? And you won't be doing mild ivf, so will get more eggs and have a higher chance, plus the possibility of freezing stuff and fets to try.

euro I am v optimistic for you too. Amazing results with natural ivf. And thanks for the tip re the FB button. Have got rid of it.

buzz I was wondering how DE works. Do you get to keep any left over embryos? Can you have more than 1 put back? Do they gaurantee you a certain no of eggs? Am intrigued by how it all works!

Having seen Elton John paid £20k for a surrogate, I'm thinking I should've gone for this option. A guaranteed baby! tho I'm sure it doesn't actually work like that and must cost more

Luffs to all. Hope you are all keeping warm.

Nice laying pout! I'll have everything crossed for a good fertilisation rate.

wahoo pout you have a footy team and 3 subs, come pout united

sar glad you are feeling a bit better, why couldn't you have a toddler or baby, most adoptions are from 6 months onwards.

Evening all. Will attempt a bit of a catch up.

joyce I'm glad you are tucked up. I am sorry you have had to have a day like today in your life, it is a very unfair thing. But I have been blown away by how you have managed all of this and it is good you are prepared for emotions to be all over the show for a while. We are all here for you, so spill it all out whenever you need and know that this is just a hard chapter in the story and that there are ace chapters to come, promise.

pout woo hoo for your egg haul! This is great. Hope the soreness goes soon and willing on your bakers dozen plus one to do their thang, do keep us updated.

sar this must be one very hard wait indeed. But we know that not pregnancies come with symptoms in the early days and all pregnancies are different. I am hoping to god you don't need plan B. I know how mentalling gets hold and the future pans out in all sorts of negative ways when we feel stressed and at key points. But the truth is that not one of us knows how this will all unfold. I read about your story (and everyone's on here actually) and see now way how it WON'T turn out. It's just me I can't see a happy ending for.

euro how are you doing?

mrsden I agree that there is so much positive there for you, I am sure you'll have a bfp in 2013

doll how goes being a pregnant lady? Are you feeling icky?

sea don't worry I didn't think you were trying to put me off. I know there is a pathetically tiny chance of IUI working. But I want to try it if I can. To ease me in so to speak. Bg apologies but I've lost track of where you are up to and can't scroll back - how's it going?

free sorry you feel it hasn't worked. But you never know!

madness all the best for tomorrow.

I send love out to nelly, gin, buzzy, lemon, princess, artemis and anyone else I've missed.

I am near hysterical about getting my fsh tomorrow. I have had acu to try and calm me but I had a thought that tomorrow I might actually find that my hopes of having a baby naturally or even having my own baby ever, are gone. As you all know my results were a bit iffy 16 months ago and it has been a big question mark hanging over me for ages now. If it is more than 10.2 it means no nhs go and if it is really high I won't know what to do with myself. But, as my acu said, there is nothing I can do and fsh changes wildly from month to month. She has had a lot of clients get pregnant with fsh 80 plus. This pisses me off, that we are reduced to numbers when there are no hard and fast rules. In other news, I have been recalled for abnormal bloods AGAIN for anemia issues, this time b12 related. And my period has been stupidly light this month. I just wish everything was all normal. It probably wouldn't stop me fretting but it would make it a bit easier. Moan over, sorry.

x posts

gin I am past plan B, that was SO/IUI so this must be my plan C

Yes all the eggs she produces are ours, I'm hoping for about 8 but if we get more then great. We will freeze what we can, if any get that far. I plan to have two put back if we have two or more, although if we only had 2 then I might save one for a FET round. Freezing for 1 year is included in the price I have fill in some paperwork about it soon.

I know Care say they will guarantee you at least 8 eggs,

x posts again, man I am a slow typer

rabbit gentle paw squeeze, big deep breaths. Do they give you the b12 injections for your anemia??? See what tomorrow brings, is it possible to get the the tests done again in a couple of months. Mine varied from 1.8 to 9.2 over about 11 months then it came down to 6.5 a couple of months after that so it most certainly does vary and doesn't mean it is game over.

I know you might want to slap me for this but it might be good to at least know where you stand good or bad, I was petrified about getting my AMH but after the initial shock I felt I knew where I was and what realistic options I had available. I am glad as it helped me decide to go with DE over my own. I now feel a peace with the fact that I won't have my own biological child and has helped lower my stress each month.

Just hang on in there my little furry friend, ts not over yet for you, not by a long chalk, we are all here for you, big hugs

rabbit isn't that kind of anaemia related to fertility ishoos?

Doll how are you doing?

I'm not doing too badly. I feel quite PMT-ish and my boobs are hardly sore at all, which is a good sign that my progesterone levels have dropped quite a bit since my last fanny candle on Thursday. I am just really hoping that I can get the worst over asap. I have confided in one person at work who will be on the trip with me, who knows Mr Euro, to help me and get in touch with him if something happens when I am in the US next week. I like to be prepared!

sar how many days past transfer are you?

joy I hope Roy is being a good nurse and that you are starting to feel a little better.

euro I hope this all ends for you soon

Thanks buzzy I know I need to know and also need to man up for the amh. There is a hefty part of me that has been facing up to the fact that I might not have my own biological child. So it won't be the shock that I'd have had if someone has told me two years ago. But it would still sting like hell. But, I need to know. Then I can make plans and adjust accordingly.

euro I'm glad you have someone you could confide in. I hope this next bit passes soon for you. Hug.

On my phone so typos will most likely run riot.... apologies in advance.

Woohoo pout for a bumper crop . I'm joining those wishing your eggs and MrP's sperm a very productive night ;)

joy glad you're home and snuggled up. This too shall pass seems an apt saying for this situation. eat lots of chocolate and watch trashy telly xx

euro good idea to have some suppor.
on your travels. best to be safe is my motto too.

rabbit I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. try not to be overwhelmed and take time to ask your questions and be are you understand everything before you leave.

my clinic called us today to ask where we were. eventually mrm got them to check.their records where they saw that our appt was tomorrow but they'd written it on the wrong date. tried to get us to come in early but MrM has booked off the afternoon and i cannot get cover that short notice. so they're letting us come in when we were supposed to come but i expect a slightly harassed nurse with additional waiting around. will bring our books...

Big waves to mrsd, lemon, gin, buzzy, art, Sar, doll, free and sea. Apologies if i've missed a few.

Welcome Angel.

Oh and yes I have been googling b12 anaemia infertility. Best not get excited yet, bet the b12 results end up being fine. My blood cells are oddly shaped which suggests there is something afoot. I would rather have pernicious anaemia than high fsh. I am actually hoping I have a shitty complaint that requires injections for life. Infertility has made me insane!

I think it has done that to all of us rabbit. Wibble. Deep breaths.

Shit admin strikes again. Madness I hope you are not kept waiting for too long tomorrow and that your appointment is not too rushes.

Hello all

I don't have time for a proper catch up but wanted to send big loves to Joy and euro, is is such a shitty and unfair thing you are going through but I am beyond impressed by the way you are both dealing with the hand you've been dealt. In awe actually. This is by no means the end, there are lots of positives, I'm sure in a couple of years you'll look back on this horrible time as just another hurdle you got over on the way to your baby.

Rabbit I had B12 deficiency too in some of the first bloods I had done. It was v frustrating. They did various other tests but couldn't find a cause for it, GP said it may just have been related to some sort of viral infection. Could it be to do with your glandular fever? I had also read about the link to fertility andI raised it with the consultant but he paid it no attention at all

Pout well done on getting through EC. Buzz is right, a football team with subs! FX for all of them.

I have to dash, really early start tomorrow and a few days working away. I'm OK, just mired in the financial year end silly season so working all hours. Have been reading though, and thinking about all of you lots. Will find time to post properly when I get back. Love and tail feather shakes to all

Just a quick one as on phone and my fat fingers don't do well on touch screen.

Angel - welcome. Sorry you find yourself here. You will find this a supportive Abd informative place.

Joy - hope you are recovering. I know this must be a difficult time. Pls know that we are all here for you. [big hug]. How is Roy doing?

Euro - I hope you are feeling as well as can be expected. And more importantly not in too much pain. I'm thinking of you.

Pout - well done on the egg laying I'm sending positive vibes to you

Sar - hope u are feeling brighter today. I'm sending positive vibes you way.

Buzz - I'm glad. I think in hindsight IUI is a good first step in AC. I know I said I kind of regret it but I could never have gone straight to ivf. Everyone is different but I wanted to explore that option. I hope you are on the right side of the stats and if not as u say you can use it as a diagnostic tool. Good luck.

Free - good luck with the testing. I hope u get a surprise bfp. Sending you all my good wishes.

I think some of you got me confused with sweet or someone else. In not the scientist. I have a desk based job. Sorry to disappoint.

Sorry to miss everyone else. Big wave.

Just received my dr beer book - is your body baby friendly. Got through the 10 pages or so. Anyone else read it?

Mad - sorry to read abt the clinic timing mix up. I can empathise. It's si frustratjbg isnt it? Happened to me a couple of weeks ago when I was stimming for the IUI and the drugs obviously played havoc with my mood as I was in tears about the wrong appointment which I know isn't that bad.
Good luck. X

Pout-whooping for the poutlets. That is a cracking number of eggs.

Mad-good luck with todays appointment. Grrr to the mix up.

Angel -welcome and good luck with getting the ball rolling for testing.

Rabbit - I honestly wish I could take the day off and come with you today. Getting results is a horrible thing. Whatever the results say, the build up is traumatic so do go easy on yourself and might I suggest a glass of vino tonight. Re the b12 thing, I cant help but feel some of your health needs have been neglected. I really admire the way you keep soildering on despite the fact you must feel like poo.

Euro -all your planning sounds sensible. Any changes today? I am still thinking if you lots.

Joy -big sofa hugs to you my lovely.

Sea - I have read that book and been thinking it may apply to me just recently.

Im ok, chatted to my reflex lady last night which made me feel better. Her theory is my lack of symptoms is good as I usually I get so many. Wishfull thinking maybe. I am going to text her whenever I feel crap and she wil send me some positive vibes back she says - very very lovely of her.

Hi to artemis-dont work too hard my sweet. When can you have some time off.

Gin -awwww no way did you worry me about plan b. Not at all and thank you for your ongoing support.You are quite right, it is sensible to try and think ahead. I guess I need to figure out what that is.

Hello to all, x

Rabbit. Good luck for today. Are you a vegetarian? Diet can affect B12. Lots of protein is often the recommendation. I know eggs, cheese and milk is often recommended. Tougher is you are a veggie. But you can eat lots of tofu. Clear spring do some good organic tofu. Hope the meeting goes well. Fsh can change so much month to month. Don't get too worried about it. Easier said then done I know! X

Thinking of you today rabbit.

joy I hope you are still holed up on the sofa. It's bloody freezing outside. I recomment not leaving the house. :)

angel welcome.

sea I've read it. I thought it held the answers to all my problems but after 6 months of steroids, nothing happened. It does make a lot of sense to me though.

Art it's good to hear from you. I hope you are doing well.

sar I thought it had all kicked off last night. Mega cramps and the kind of brown tinged CM I usually get an hour or two before AF arrives. But then the pain died down overnight and (TMI alert) all that came out was some watery pink liquid. I am thinking maybe the mega cramps burst the sac and the liquid is from that. But no proper bleeding yet. I have more acu tomorrow, to help things along.

Pout ? 14 eggs, well done! How very pleasing. I know the next bit can all be a bit nerve wracking but I?m sure you?ll get some nice embryos from those. I have to say , out of all the procedures i have now had done in the last 6 months , EC had to be the one where i suffered the most. I hope you feel less sore and sicky soon.

Euro ? it does sound like your body is trying to do something. I hope it happens soon for you so it doesn?t get drawn out.

Sar ? sometimes it is better just to talk to independent people and offload. I find i do that with my acupuncturist and various doctors i have seen. Not sure they are particularly interested in my woes but there really is something therapeutic about talking.

Sea ? yes i have read Dr Beer?s book. It did make perfect sense to me. I know it?s controversial in this country but i just believe there really is some truth in women have an immune system that attacks an embryo.

Rabbit ? i really hope you get no nasty shocks today. I know many have said this but fsh fluctuates a hell of a lot. Plenty of people conceive with fsh levels that are off the scale but hopefully you don?t need to worry about any of this.

Mad ? i hope your appt goes ok today.

Gin ? i can?t believe Elton only paid 20k for a surrogate. I would have thought more like 200k or 2 million. My friends spent 25k on a surrogate but the woman used her own eggs.

Well back at work today. Slightly nervous that snake will have told manager about things but nothing has been mentioned. Phew. Surprisingly I feel just fine. Bleeding but no significant pain yet. I hope i?m not speaking too soon. I do think I?m a bit odd coming in to work the day after an erpc as i notice most people take off a week. I?m no toughy either. I think i will be hit big time emotionally at some point but for the moment i feel a tremendous amount of relief that there is closure on this episode. I do wonder whether i feel ok now because i went into ivf with the sense that it would fail. When i got a bfp, i wrote in my ivf diary that i knew it would end in miscarriage. For some reason or other, I never believed it was our time. I think perhaps my negativity and pessimism has helped me to prepare for this outcome. Or perhaps i?m just talking rubbish and haven?t come down off my hormones yet ? my breasts are still very sore.

Well I look forward to starting up zumba and tennis again. I?ve got pretty flabby and unhealthy doing ivf. I feel revolting. Oh and i told about 6 different nurses and doctors yesterday that i needed the rhesus b jab because i was ABneg . thankfully they went and checked the results of my blood test and it turns out i?m actually AB+. I obviously did the home blood test wrong!! So at least i can put to bed my theory that i had formed rhesus antibodies to my pregnancies. what an idiot!

I can't believe that you are back to work today joy It is normal to feel a sense of relief. I'm guessing that the relief stems from finishing all the physical/hospital intervention stuff. I understand not feeling like it is your time. I think that we have all had so many cycles at the start of TTC where we genuinely dared to hope that it was "our time" that years down the line we simply just don't think along those lines anymore. I am so thinking of you.

euro oh for goodness sake at the random bleeding and twinges. I am so sorry that you are in this kind of limbo. Hugs for you too.

rabbit I thought your test results were yesterday - sorry. I am keeping my fingers crossed that all will be okay. I had a dream last night that you texted me to say your progesterone was so high that the hospital told you the only outcome could be pregnancy. How weird is that!

sarlat I too would lean towards thinking that no symptoms could well be a good thing. We have all had faux preggo symptoms that have amounted to nothing so I reckon that anything so markedly different to the norm is a good thing. Keep trucking and I have my fingers crossed for you.

Welcome angel I am sorry that in my stupor yesterday I completely ignored you! I am sorry that you are here but it's not a bad place to while away the time

madness I'm sorry about the appointment mix up. Things like that really ramp up the already high stress levels don't they.

Well I am a bit down this morning. The clinic called to say that out of the 14 eggs, only 12 were mature and only 6 have fertilised. They expect a 70% fertilisation rate so we are some way off that. I feel a bit all over the place following the news and had just wanted to bask in the optimism of a good crop for a bit longer before being bought back down to earth. I keep trying to rationalise it by telling myself that if everything had been perfect then I would have got an inflated sense of optimism about this cycle and would have been hugely floored when the cycle didn't work out but that said I think after everything I just wanted a couple of days to feel like it might all have been worthwhile. It feels like such a long journey that the eggs still have to make and with only 6 things feel a bit precarious. Also, I keep thinking that a FET cycle will be a pipe dream now so that is likely the end of the journey totally. Balls!

Waves to everyone

Pout try not to worry (so easy to say to others, of course you'll worry - this is normal) - 6 fertilised is still ace! I'm cheering them on to behave and divide beautifully in my best reception teacher voice. Big loves to you.

Joycep - your work does not deserve you! Please make sure you take it easy - you are a toughie.

Euro - sorry this limbo continues. What a hard thing you are going through, thinking of you.

I am climbing the wall. I am not very good at The Waiting. But im resigned to a bad result, my periods just don't feel right. Please can your dream come true pout?! Thank you sar for saying you'd come with me if you could I think no symptoms is good too. There is every chance your body is just quietly getting on with it's job.

That's still 6 fertilised eggs to work with pout - 5 more than I had! Remember - IOTO.

joy you really are a tough cookie, but please don't overdo it. You have been through a huge amount, mentally and physically.

I think something is happening. The dull ache is getting worse and (please stop reading now if you are eating your lunch) I have had a small amount of rather grim fallout. This is my first time using only towels since my mid-teens. Bleugh. I am not happy about it! I am still at work for now as nurofen is keeping the pain under control, but I will head off if I need to.

Pout - I think it's incredibly hard not to be disappointed with fertilisation rates but 6 is a very respectable number. Honestly it really is. Some or all of those could be top quality, you could have enough to freeze as well. But again we are all reduced to numbers in this horrible journey. I know it's hard and feels precarious but see how the next few days go. I know it feels safer to have more but quality over quantity and look at Doll - it is so possible!

Euro - you are a tough cookie too. Def get yourself home to a hot water bottle if it gets too bad. It does sound like it is now happening. I am sorry. It can feel like contractions as things pass. Poor you.

Rabbit - and waiting for results is ghastly. I feel for you so much. What time are they calling?