TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Finally the red bitch has arrived, thank feck for that! I was beginning to have real menopause/phantom pregnancy fears... (anyone know if phantom pregs are a real thing btw?!). Of course she waited for the one day I wasn't wearing preparatory sanitary protection, thanks womb.

So sorry for all you are going through euro and joy. And that you have been through it too buzz. It's all massively unfair, but you all seem to be managing amazingly well. euro I think you should look after yourself and not do too much travelling, if you can avoid it. I know I'd want to be at home and near DH. joy I'll be thinking of you on Monday.

I've just been good and refused an extra drink from my bessie mate and headed home , although it was more to do with not being sure how period pain drugs and booze mix, than being good!

Friday luffs to you all.

Joy - I am very glad to hear you were treated with kindness at your hospital visit yesterday - this does make a huge difference. That nurse sounds brilliant - vey holistic and I am glad that the little beans can be tested as this should be classed as recurrent miscarriage. Knowing your hormomes will crash sounds a bit crap - I guess again all you can do is prepare for that episode and come on here to rant and rave if you need to. I am sorry for everthing you have been through. I am willing a speedy end to this situation now so you can enjoy some time with Roy (? book a city break maybe) and start looking towards your very bright future again. Remeber Joy you have shown that you are more than capable of implantation and pregnancy. It is just a case of waiting for a golden embryo which has the potential to go all the way. Sending ongoing hugs to you both - and Mr Sar has been thinking about you lots too. He was quite upset about the news and all that you have been through. But now - it is onwards and upwards. There may be some wobbles on the way but we are all here for you. xx And I think the meet up could be ressurected too?

Speaking of a meet up - I was thinking could more of us go if it was a Saturday and we met in a nice town or hotel maybe 1 hour north of London (but not too pricey). Maybe we could meet initially for tea and scones and then have a meal. That way we could have longer together say 10.30 - 6 ish?? And many of us could make it there and back in a day. If this is an impractical idea - that is fine. I am still able to come down to the big smoke like last time if that is better for most people.

Rabbit - sorry for the evil feelings. I am very annoyed that you can't have your bloods taken for FSH on a weekend. with my thinking cap on, I would suggest pestering the NHS servcice until someone does take your blood. You simply need these test results to be acurate and to happen soon. Try ringing some of your local hospital phlebotomy departments and see what they can do - they will have a reduced service but still have to take bloods for inpatients. If you feel you can, pester like mad. Or are there any private clinics who can help. You just need the blood to be taken and then it can be sent to which ever lab it needs to go to.

Buzz - sorry work has been stresful - I think I can imagine the sort of Friday stress that you might mean in jobs like ours.

Critter - ooo ewcm, exciting. In my experience when I think something is ewcm, it usually is. Sorry to be gross but when you bd at other points in the month when ewcm is not expected, then there is no confusion as there is no ewcm looking stuff around. But when it is time for ewcm - that's what it most probably is regardless of BD. A totally unscientific experiment but hopefull that makes sense? Either way Critter, things ARE progressing for you now and natural or IVF, you are on your way to mummyhood. Have a lovely time with your mum.

Doll - thank you for telling me about your bad second transfer - I guess that didn't stop you or little bean in your tracks did it - thank you for helping me feel more hopeful.

Euro - sounds like you are making good decisions. I can understand that the shock of the first scan has enabled you to process your grief and now you feel ready to move on. When I miscarried (all natural, no scans to tell me it would happen) I didn't cry for 3 months - not on purpose I just don't seem to register the trauma. Same with my last failed FET. Unfortunatley this holds me back as I get very sad 2- 3 months after the event which isn't helpful. So I am glad to hear you have had some full on sobby tears last week. Your baby stopped growing arouund the same time as mine - this is very common as this is when the heart is trying to start up. If you do have a natural miscarriage, be prepared for lots of heavy bleeding on day 1, 2 and 3. I don't want to upset you but I also passed a sac - just be prepared. I then bled lightly for another 2 weeks (sort of brown) sorry everyone to be so unsavoury. You will likely need pain killers. I'm not sure work is a good idea for a couple of days in to miscarriage either. Could you have 3 - 4 days off? Do work know? I know that the surgery might still be your option - whichever way you choose this will be over soon and in the mean time allow yourself to feel what ever you feel. Thinking of you Euro. xx

Gin - so glad the witch turned up, but her timming was plain rude. So here we go FET cycle - woop woop. Don't worry about any of the crap I went through on Thursday morning when they were being thawed - remember I had a couple of borderline blastos put in the freeze. Most blastos come through the thaw beautifully. To be honest I did have a few drinks leading up to my FET and even had a few days of no folic acid as I ran out. I have been a FET rebel but to be honest a bit of merlot or whatever really isn't going to be a problem for me or you - it won't be the difference between BFP or BFN. Good luck Gin - will be tracking you this month and you know I am here anytime for FET questions and hand holds. xxx

Den - any sign of her right royal pain?

Lemon - are you all better now? What is the next plan for you - sorry if you have already said but my reading of the thread since this week has been a little patchy.

Hello to everyone

Doing ok here and trying to be distracted. I rang the embryologist yesterday as I didn't get an up to date description of the embryos at the point of transfer. When they are thawed they always degenerate to some extent, contract, expand and can contract again. The embryologists are hoping to see one that is continuing to expand. When I got to hospital I was told it was expanding but very slowly but as it was last out of the freezer it had had less time to show its potential than the others thawed earlier. But overall it wasn't looking all that. When I spoke to the embryologist she told me when they looked at them again just before trasnfer it had expanded from 1 bb to 3bb with 4aa beaing perfect. The second weak one was still weak and fragmented. So at least my better blasto was heading in the right direction (although not perfect) so I am grateful for that but dissapointed I wasn't told that at the point of trasnfer to stop me worrying as much. Transfer wasn't great, I think my bladder may have been a little too full but they didn't agree that was the case and it took 3 different types of catheter to get through the os in to the womb - not comfy. I also dribbled a little wee out on the table .

Right ladies best get on, I have no symptoms but far too early I guess. Trying to have positive thoughts about my blasto bedding in to the heart shaped womb and maybe even the other little one having a crack at it too.

Have a good weekend.

Just popping in to offer hand holds and cake to joy and euro. Everything about the practicalities has been said. I am so sorry for both of you. Pleased they were good to you in hospital yesterday joy and I hope that means being good as well on Monday. Buzz your story about being taken to theatre made my heart break - have a sneaky hug. I had the same as sar with passing a recognisable sac I might have forced SB to inspect it, so he could reassure me the worst was over after that. Btw my cycle came back immediately, 31 days after passing the sac I had my first AF and a perfectly clean womble, since then the regularity I had seems diminished but have seen the witch every 22-29 days.

Fingers crossed for your embies on board sar. It does sound quite good.

Get thee into bed critter. Nothing wrong with insurance shagging, in case it is EWCM. Hurrah for the cycle return gin. How late was AF? And good luck for the frozen cycle.

For me, no news, the cycle is cancelled due to my high temperature and I'll see next week whether AF arrives on time or gin-late. Then no treatment as we're off FarAway in two weeks, with probably another AF making an appearance whilst we're enjoying ourselves. I need to decide on hols whether (and how often) I want to try IUI before moving on to IVF. Totally unsure about which, but quite convinced that round about my original due date (end of April) I'll be ready to have some sort of treatment.

On other news I am grumpy, it is dark and drizzly (not in a good cake-way) here...

gin congrats on the book! Very exciting.
Pout maybe a cheapie fleece blanket from, e.g. ikea would help with the dog? just while you get going with the patchwork of course. They're only a couple quid
sar fingers crossed for you - hope things go really well
euro sorry your news wasn't better.

Nelly hope you're right re pg - can I ask, why shouldn't you eat peas? haven't heard that one, but after the list got past wine, coffee and soft cheese I had almost Victorian histrionics and stopped listening

It did get better, of course, and today am feeling quite upbeat. sar you asked what our next step is - just shagging for the forseeable, with OPKs to play with & temping. Not earning enough to afford health insurance never mind investigations yet. If all goes dreadfully will have to consider moving back to UK & signing up to the NHS merrygoround but not willing to do that yet as would leave mum on her own

midnight peas with not stop you getting pregnant but I understand the understand the need to explore every corner... here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1439934-Please-can-someone-tell-me-why-peas-are-so-evil

will not stop not with not stop..

Sar - what a lovely post. Thank you. I hope you are bearing up ok. I really don't think it matters that they weren't top quality because once they go home to your womb, they are where they should be. Even really poor quality embies can produce a baby and yours sound fine to me. Wishing that these next 2 weeks dont drag. And How sweet to think that mrsar has been thinking of us.

Gin- well I am pleased you can now finally get on with Fet. Wow what a wait for you.

Buzz - the doc yesterday was saying my next period won't come on time and it will probably be 5 or 6 week wait. I told her mine is likely to come super early like it always does. It came just 3 weeks after my last miscarriage. I just hope to god my periods won't have reset to even shorter cycles now. I think on Monday and being taken into theatre will be where I break down. I want it over and done with but I think the sadness will hit me.

Lemon- I am sorry your cycle has had to be cancelled. I hope you get better soon and you can concentrate on your looming holiday.

Euro - as someone else said I am not sure you will want to travel until the worst it over. I hope the acu gets things moving.

I think our plan is not to do ivf for a long long time. We have quite a few more tests to do and we will see what they reveal. We would probably only wait 4 or 5 months if the cycle had ended in bfn. We just desperately need to find out what our issue is before we embark on that again. Having said that I found itself easy because I was on the flare. It has been the last 6 weeks that have been hideous. I also am making a vow to myself not to count where I am in my cycle, not to force swi just because I see ewcm. Effectively we are quitting ttc as I know we can't conceive on our own. There is just no point putting myself through the monthly wait and the stress I feel with my short cycles.
Truthfully I think we are heading towards adoption.

Critter - yes Roy is rhesus positive. I am quite concerned I never had the rhesus jab with my other m/c but perhaps it was too early. Hope you are having a good w/e with your mum. I just can't imagine the stress of having your long cycles. Poor you.

Have been getting bouts of sickness and nausea every day. I think my body is still producing hcg or sth.

Gin I'm glad the witch finally put in an appearance so you can move on to your frozen cycle. I have been chancing my arm by wearing no san pro for the past couple of days (such a relief after 5 days of towels to protect my clothes from the fanny candle fall out), but no dice yet.

buzz thanks for the info. I've had some mild-moderate cramps today (although knicker watch is thus far uneventful), so I am hoping that is a sign that something is starting to happen. I can have mild cramps for days before AF though, so it doesn't mean anything is imminent.

I want to thank both buzz and sar for sharing their past experiences. It can't be nice to relive them, but I have found it really helpful to hear about your experiences, so thank you so much for sharing your experience and giving your advice. It is really helpful to have it from people I "know".

I agree with you all about not wanting to travel until it is all over. The timing is really bad. I haven't had to travel for work since last September, and now I have 3 trips in 6 weeks. I am really hoping I can get out of next week's trip and I will if things have started. The US trip the week after will be more difficult to get out of, but at least I will be somewhere where I know a lot of people (including the lovely Critter and one work colleague I am pretty close to who will be at the same meetings, so if things did kick off, I will have access to a support network). I am really, really hoping things will happen this week though, so I can just bin the first trip and then get on with things. I don't want to cancel things until something starts happening and I know the timing cos if I say now that I can't do next week's trip because I am going to mc, and then it happens in the US or something, it will seem weird. I'm probably overthinking it, but while nothing is happening, I am carrying on as normal and will change things when I actually need to.

joy I can imagine Monday will be really tough. I'll be thinking of you. Will you manage to take time off afterwards? We both tend to soldier on, but sometimes we need not to (I am better at giving advice than taking it). I also feel that the past few weeks have been much harder than the cycle itself.

I'm sorry you are still getting symptoms. That must make it harder. Mine have all gone, bar mildly sore boobs but that is just progesterone as they feel like they usually do during the 2ww, not hard and tingly like they did when pg. I tested yesterday and was surprised that I am still getting a strong positive at this point, although the line is fainter than it was at its peak. I don't feel in the least pg, so it is odd that so much hcg is still swimming around my bloodstream.

I think taking some time off from ttc sounds like a good plan. I am sure you and roy will get there. A friend of mine had a baby last year after 3 mcs. She had loads of test. No reason was found and her successful pregnancy was pretty uneventful. It's devastating, but sometimes, it does all work out.

sar I'm sending sticky vibes to your little one. As you know, less than ideal transfers with less than ideal embies do work. And I bet you are not the first person to dribble wee during that process. I was worried about getting the gynaecologist in the eye...

drizz an you say where you are going on hols? We are hoping to get away once my work travels have come to an end. I'm having the cyst on my forehead removed at the beginning of May (I had been waiting until the second trimester). I'd like to go as soon as my stitches are out. I quite fancy Italy for a few days. I hope that won't clash with when we could start our next cycle though.

I've been out visiting old friends. We had a lovely catch up. It was so nice to see them again. They have no idea of our troubles so it was nice to talk about a variety of other things for a few hours.

Euro ? you are taking all this really very well. I can?t imagine what you must be going through. You have been incredibly brave and level headed about it all. It?s normal to feel ups and downs in this situation. Pls come here if you need to vent or a good cry. [hugs]

Joy ? yes it looks like we do go around to the same places. I wonder if we have x paths in RL. I am sorry for what you are going through but glad you got such understanding and kind nurses at the hospital. It makes a big difference. You are a brave lady and I know this has been a long journey for you. I think having a break sounds like a good plan. You & Roy have been through an emotional rollercoaster. [hugs]

Sar ? Relax, take it easy. I am willing every bone in my body for this to work for you! Fingers & everything else crossed.

Pout ? my official test date is next Wed. MIL can?t really help herself. I don?t blame her.

Rabbit ? Hope you didn?t think I was trying to put you off IUI. You seem like you have a very healthy attitude about all this TTC stuff. Brava! When will you do your first IUI? Sorry about the PMT. I hope it goes away soon.

Critter ? I know how you feel re EWCM confusion. I have never understood it no matter how many books I have read. I always get that stuff just before AF and never around the time of OV. Good luck with working it all out. Enjoy Ikea.

Lemon ? hope the appraisal goes really well. You sound like you have been working hard so I am sure it will. Sorry to hear about cancel cycle. Will you opt for IUI or IVF?

Midnight ? I have been avoiding peas for a while. I don?t believe it is really contraceptive but I have been following a lot of stuff I don?t really believe in since TTC-ing. Good luck with the shagging?

Mrsd ? Have you done a test?? Any sign of the red witch?

Doll ? so nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing well.

Buzzy ? your cat sounds lovely.

Gin ? glad red witch has made an appearance. Well done on saying no to more drinks. Drinking on period always makes me really drunk and crazy.

AFM, my official test date is next Wed but I did a test this am and it was negative. It didn?t come as a surprise when I know in my heart it didn?t work. Have appointment with consultant on Tues to discuss next steps. Appointment from ARGC has come through for 1st week of April. In the meantime, I am going to try and not think about it. Ummm? wonder how easy that will be.
Enjoy your weekend everyone.

Euro ans Joy, i am so amazed at your strength. Youre both inspirational and I mean that sincerely. Even though you've had such awful news, you're still able to be clear headed and Pratical. I know this is easy to say, but I do think that you'll get there.

Joy, your plan to wait a little and see what the tests shows up sounds sensible. How long does the genetic testing of the embryos take? Im wishing you every strength for Monday. It sounds like they'll take good care of you there.

Euro, I have no idea what a mc is like so I can't help you with that side. But, I think if getting out of the travel is an option then that sounds wise. I know when friends have miscarried they have found it quite painful. Is an Erpc an option before you have to go away (sorry, I can't remember if you've already decided against this).

Gin I'm glad the witch decided to show up. Mine turned up this morning. I knew as soon as I woke up. I prodded my boobs and they weren't sore. I'm feeling a bit hormonal. I got a text announcing second pregnancy, the second this week. I've not responded yet, I just can't summon up the words of congratulations at the mo. I will have to avoid fb tomorrow, it's mothers day in the uk isn't it?

hey mrsden yes mother's day tomorrow in the UK, for once I remembered. I often miss it as so many other countries have a bit later in the year, tends to catch me out. Sorry about the announcement but at least you are moving forward now. Excited?

Yes, excited but a little anxious too. I'll feel better once the cd1 blues lift. I have chocolate and wine for this evening. How are you? Has little doll recovered from his bug?

he has mrsden thanks, a whole week of nursery though which was a bit tricky. I can't moan though, the last time was nearly a year ago. I'm struggling a bit, just want to sleep and be left alone really but life goes on...

euro I found that I was still getting a positive 2-3 weeks after my ERPC's but my body was slow at getting on with things, glad you've had a good distraction today

mrsd I'm still hoping this is your month, sorry about the announcements, your friends are very busy

doll glad mini doll is feeling better, I used to go to bed around 8pm when preggy, couldn't hack the pace, although only had Barry to think about

sea its too early to be testing, so don't give up yet

joy sadly your body will carry on thinking it is pregnant which is just to add insult to injury really, did they go through what will happen with the ERPC, I can't remember if you had on last time?? Your plan sounds sensible but if you find a cause then there is no reason why IVF will not work for you in future.

gin roll on FET :)

sar hope you are ok, local hospital are on black alert + + +, it is now classed as a major incident, so a patient who had been with us had a fall at home, went to A&E was not helped off the stretcher, fell and broke his leg then a patient who was supposed to come to us from the hospital fell and fractured his knee FFS, you couldn't make it up really

lemon sorry you feel grumpy, oooh are you going some where nice and warm??? do you need a bag carrier

Well we survived Ikea, I have to say I was knackered afterwards, also not sure where my £200 has gone

I have to admit not working out where I am in my cycle has been great, no stress at all, no idea when I have ovulated or if I have, although I have really sore boobs which is not normal for me I think we'll give it one more crack tonight. I won't get my protocol until AF shows up in a couple of weeks

rabbit has AF shown up

Euro - I'm sorry to hear about your scan. I think you're being incredibly strong and positive in such a difficult situation. I second everyone else and wouldn't travel. I was in a lot of pain when mine happened and I wasn't very far along, I hadn't been scanned at that point. My cycle came back 45 days later - I then had 6 months of 33 day cycles (with ovulation!), which is very regular for me. Hopefully your experience will be as quick as possible so you can move forward.

Joy - Your coworker sounds vile. I think waiting for the genetic tests is a smart decision. Once they figure out what happened, you'll get there. I completely understand the desire to take a break from TTC after your recent experience. I'll be thinking of you on Monday.

MrsD - Sorry about the announcement.The chocolate and wine sounds delicious, I recently moved close to a chocolatier/tea shop and have to say it has been my hangout everytime AF shows.

Lemon - It's too bad the drizzle is putting you in a bad mood.

Gin - AF finally showed so you can move forward with FET, it's too bad it showed up like it did. Congrats about writing a book. The best I have managed are a few short articles one of which I am working on now

Sar - I'm sure you weren 't the first to dribble a little. From what I have heard from the MDs I speak to socially, anything related to child-making or birthing runs the risk of dribble or mess - they find it normal/expected. Aside from that I am hoping for a positive result.

Buzzy - It sounds like your kitty is as attention-seeking as mine when I am on the computer. It's too bad work was stressfull.

Critter - I understand the random EWCM - CD70! I think my longest was CD63 and I was barely coping. I understand your desire to move forward to get away from the status quo.

Doll - Glad to hear little doll is better. The tiredness is normal. Our neighbour, who has a 18 month old and now a newborn said it got much better after the first trimester.

Rabbit - Sorry about the PMT

Sea - It's too bad you don't think it worked.

Pout - Good luck Monday.

Waves to everyone I have missed - Midnight, Madness, Nelly, Tseu, Free and anyone else.

I am pretty buried in work right now and will have to claw my way out by following the rule of 60 or 70. My experiment that kept me in all weekend just confirmed that I have more to do . On a positive note I now see the light at the end of the current project.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Euro - you will get a positive for quite some time. Last time I was 7wks and The hospital managed it. They took blood tests to check my hcg was falling as it should. They also scanned me to check that there was no retained products in my womb. It took a good 2 weeks before they confirmed my hcg was 0. If you m/c naturally, I think it may be wise for you to get scanned to check that everything has gone. Like you, I do tend to soldier on. I have had these 5 days off and will be back at work on Tues. Sometimes I think it is better for me to do this rather than wallow. however there is no predicting how we will feel once the hormones drop. Last time I took a day off work but probably should have had more. But that was more of a shock whereas this one I have been basically prepared for.

Sea - I am hoping Wed brings a surprise bfp. Goodness you deserve it.

Mrsd - I think genetic testing will take many many months. Even privately it would take about 8wks. Sorry about the 2nd announcements. Does anyone find announcements easier at all since they started?

Buzz - yes they did go through the erpc and what they would have to do if they perforated my uterus or something else. But she said that was just 1% chance. That statistic didn't make me feel safe at all. Yes my body is def still producing hormones. My boobs are so painful. After the erpc will your body stop thinking it's pregnant?

Just a quick hello from me to say to Euro and Joy how amazing you are both being. This is so deeply unfair. I just hope now it can be as quick and pain free as possible.

On the subject of hormones, sometimes I think knowing what to expect is a mixed blessing. Yes it is good to know if your mood darkens that there is a real reason for it, but I often find that if you are warned of side effects or expected outcomes, you start looking for them. Double edged sword I guess?

Doll glad you are doing ok. Glad some of the missing AFs turned up. Mine arrive yesterday, but as it was late on I'm counting it as today which gives me a 25 day cycle. Bit short but only a day of spotting unlike last month when it was about 10 days!! So about 25 days till next IVF cycle then. Bring it on.

I have to go to London with work a few times in the near future. I know the first trip is very short but may have the flexibility to arrange something for either of the next two. Is anyone quite central that would like to meet, possibly at short notice?

It's snowing here today. Spring? What's that!

Waves to pretty much everyone as I've not really name checked at all.

Happy 10 plussers day to us all. Hope we are all doing something suitably lovely today. More snow here so I'm having a lazy day. Feeling a bit sad that I'm not with my mum today, and that I'm not a mum. Thinking of us all xx

joy you might not feel like work on Tuesday, they usually say to have 24-48 hours 'rest' after. I think I found them shoving the tablets up my chuff unpleasant . It probably took a week for my body to start dropping in hormones and for my boobs to stop hurting.

sea your job sounds quite mysterious and interesting :)

mrsd this is my first mums day with my little fur baby Barry did say well next year I suppose I'll have to make you a mothers day card on behalf of junior

this time next year ladies

well back to the ironing and the luscious men in shorts on the telly

Waves and good wishes to all of you on this day. I've thought next year a few too many times by now. But to all of us finding fullfilment in one way or another --preferably of the screaming pooing kinds, but room for other stuff as well- Thinking of you all.

Massive good luck tomorrow joy. I am very impressed with you, and I hope it is as dignified and painfree as it can be. Waiting for the tests seems sensible. The friend I mentioned on here remained childless but was 41 and being cheated on by her now ex-partner. So there are reasons for that, which don't apply to you. I have another lovely friend, our age, who had 5 miscarriage before her first child and she is now heavily pregnant with number 2. Holding out hands and cake to you and euro.

Thinking of you too pout good luck for tomorrow. I hope plenty perfect eggs are found!!

Waves and tailfeathers. I am going to enjoy some escapism in the form of Pride and Prejudice (rather than rewriting the paper I should be doing as we speak).

Lemon - your evening sounds perfect. So sorry this months iui was cancelled. I know choosing what to do next is mind boggling. I don't have any wise answers. I guess there is always more than one way to skin a cat. But do feel free to talk it through on here. I know you will get there lemon, just a matter of time.

Joy - will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know it will be sad. I can recommend bachs flower remedy for when things feel a bit pants, a few squirts seems to help those horrid feelings pass a bit sooner. Lemons stories are encouraging. Tight hugs.

Pout -good luck for ec tomorrow. I am pleased that our 2wws will overlap. Looking forward to your post ec report.

Den - sorry you are a little sad today. Wish I could magic you up a creme egg.

Rabbit - how is this cycle and the blood testing shaping up? I am sorry that you are facing hurdles and so many decisions again. Are you ok?

Sea - thank you for your lovely comments. I agree your job sounds intriguing.

Euro - how are you today? Any cramping or progress? I am sorry you are in this limbo. My periods got back in to routine immediately after mc. I bled for about 2.5 weeks and ovulated about 14 days after the last bleed day. I think reflex and acu are invaluable at times like this to encourage a return to hormonal balance.

Buzz - I admire your positivity. I really do, quite awe inspiring. I see a budding life coach in you!

I am ashamed to say I have been menkuling like mad today and there have been tears. My pre transfer cool and relaxed approach has slid away. I have no symptoms which I know is fine but silly thing I am is comparing this to previous pregnancy cycle and near miss cycles. Its all just starting to feel a bit final. This is my third go. Sorry ladies, will stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with watching the burbs.

Just popping back to offer hands to hold to sarlat. Menkulling is okay and to be expected. But don't despair about not feeling anything, it means nothing. Thinking of you though. ANd wishing the next ten days away for you...

buzz - i have been given those tablets to put up there tomorrow morning. urgh. i will see how i feel on Tuesday. i think you could be right.

Lemon - ah P&P , nothing like watching Mr Darcy on a Sunday eve. Hope he's a good looking one. Colin Firth is still my favourite. Sorry to hear about your friend but that's good news about the other one expecting her 2nd.

Nelly - would be lovely to meet you after all this time. I'm central London based.

Sar - it's nothing to be ashamed of. Under the circumstances, i don't think it's possible not to mental. I was an absolute mess in my 10day wait. Found myself lying on the bedroom floor sobbing 2 days in a row. I had had no symptoms to speak of and i thought it just hadn't worked. And in fact i found myself comparing this pregnancy to my last one all the way through but every single one is different. If it helps there are so many stories on the net about people who have had really poor quality embryos transferred and they ended up having perfect babies. Many of these people had had unsuccessful rounds with better quality embryos. Yours weren't that bad though. I just say that because I know in the hideous wait, I found googling positive stories gave me some hope. Obviously it's probably better not to google but i found it impossible. Have a massive hug. I am thinking about you. It's just absolutely hideous having to wait like this and i just wish the time would speed up for you.

sar I had zero symptoms but got my BFP. Try not to torture yourself too much (I know it's impossible). Thanks for your encouraging words about mc. I've cancelled my travelling next week and will fit in more acu, with a plan to try to get a referral for an ERPC when I get back from the second trip I had planned, in about two weeks, so I have a back up if it doesn't happen naturally. I always like to plan one step ahead! I feel quite low today though, and while it isn't nice, I hope it is a good sign that my hormones are dropping.

I might give myself a dose of P&P later.