Rainbow babies. Remembering our angels, riding the rollercoaster and hoping for little rainbows and sunshine.

[Little9]

An angel in the book of life wrote down our babies births. And whispered as she closed the book...too beautiful for this earth.

Fingers crossed for rainbows and BFPs for everyone!

amy he sounds wonderful!

Ok everyone I'm going to need major hand holding as I got a BFP this morning. DH must have super flu beating sperm. But I just can't celebrate, I've been through this too many times.

OMG Fan small very quiet squeee for you. I know you've been here before and I know you must be terrified and it must be hard to be excited but Fan my lovely today you are pregnant! Huge big hand squeeze for you xxx

Fan another one here to hold your hand. So, so pleased. Today you are pregnant!

Amy sounds like Henry is doing brilliantly. Glad your recovery is going well too. Neonatal staff are lovely.Take care.

Green horay for puking! I have had very little sickness this time round and it is most unnerving. Hope you have just enough to be reassuring but not enough to be annoying!

WTW I'm sorry K is feeling poorly. I am sure it is nothing serious, but I know it must be terrifying. Thinking about you and your girls.

Blizy thank you. it took me over a week to calm down, but I think I am over it now! I know Z's birthday is coming up, thinking about you.

Joining in massively insensitive things people say, a very close relative who really should know better came out with a cracker. Apparently I should just keep my legs together this time. That was so crass and insensitive I actually wasn't that upset, just amused! I tend to do what Green does now and just laugh.

We have officially joined.......Team Penis! And I could not be more delighted. I would also have adored a daughter, of course, but now I feel like there really is a baby in there and not just a medical condition! Baby Rainbox had also now been dubbed "Noodles".

Thinking about everyone. How we are having the best weekends we can xx

fan tiny squeak hurray! We're here for you lady! Alk the way you know that! X

rainbox eek a boy! :) exciting!

wtw hope K is feeling better! Hugs, know how you feel x

Waves to everyone else!

L is doing great! Love her to bits
I'm also back to work so busy again!

Yeh....fan ... Xxxx 1 day at a time xxx
Amy: congrats x
Rainbox ; congrats x
I m so-so. Trying to see the positives of the mc. Booking a holiday in sept ??? Cruise , which we couldn t have done if not all gone tits up. Going to winter wonderland in Dec will be easy with just Phebs , much harder with young baby, can loose weight, drink wine again etc... But then read that Katie Price is pg & feel very bitter as to why she, who seems to lead an unstable life of chaos , flits from man to man ( I know she's mc before) can be ok???
It's not fair.
Want to get we'd over with as last time I went to theatre I came home with Phebs ... This time...
Xxxx

Thank you ladies, I've already had a fresk out this morning due to cramping, I know its normal, but its just scary.

Fan.... Oh my goodness! While trying not to be toooo excited for you, I do have one of those grins on that I physically can't turn off! I know it's really early, but as others have said, you are pregnant!! I'm very chuffed!

AMY, glad you are getting home soon, and that Henry is doing well too. X

Angel... I agree it's good to find things to look forward too, but it's fine to feel just crap for a while too, because it is just crap, isn't it? Comfort food and wine and hugs from Phebs I guess are the best medicine.... Take care love. X

RAINBOX... You're having a boy noodle! Yeh! I'm really pleased for you!
Did you mind which you got? Only asking because I know I'm going to have a brief struggle if this one is a boy. I'll be fine quickly, I love mummying boys, but it will mean Merryn will be my only girl, and for a little while I'll struggle before I get excited about a boy. This will be to do with mourning Merryn not actual disappointment if you get what I mean? (I wouldn't confess to any of that in RL).

As for me, I think my projectile puking is food poisoning or something, as it's now coming out both ways (sorry). I am keeping fluids down, but nothing else. I'll see how I go tomorrow, may pop into docs, but nothing much to be done. Hope baby is ok. (mild panic). Going to have a lovely bath and read seed catalogues...bit sad!

Fan, I am quietly whispering YAY! Today you are pregnant my friend, I have everything crossed that the little one sticks. Remember I am here to support you all the way. Xx

Rainbox, yay another little boy!

Hope you feel better soon green,

Big waves and thoughts to everyone else. X

Oh fan! Another quiet from this corner and I am very much here to hold your hand... (But I DO just have to say - does this mean the loony psychic lady could potentially be proved right?!?!) Loads and loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

rainbox so pleased on hear about 'Team Penis' (which made me snort - no 'team blue' for you, oh no, you're all about the penis )

angel it's just so unbelievably tough for you. Bless you for trying to put a positive spin on it. I know it does help, sometimes, to do that... but mostly it's just crap, isn't it? Am with you, willing the time to pass quickly until Weds, and then hoping you are somehow able to feel a little better once it's done. Much much love xx

green get well soon, lovely - sounds nasty... I am quite sure the little one will be fine. They're all comfy in there even when we're poorly!

blizy thinking of you lots...

amy am really glad to hear that all continues to be well both with Henry and with you. Take lots of care of yourself xx

Love to everyone else too - esp lovely to see babyh and wtw back after short absences . Just waiting for AF here then, if the doc okays us to start this cycle, I will be going on the pill !!! Due to my luteal phase being so irregular these days, I now need to take it for three weeks before starting the down-regs. Am a bit sad about that, as - to answer snowdrop's question - we conceived E naturally DURING an IVF cycle last time, but going on the pill means there's no chance of a last-ditch chance of a natural conception this time. Ah well.

Thank you so much ladies, if it wasnt for you lot I dont think I would be here to be honest. Im sitting in my hamster kigu watching the rugby trying to keep my mind off the pregnancy.

poppet yes yes its true the loony psychic is right! Doh! Ive just worked out the dates and by mine I am due the last day of October! lol

fan that's DD1's birthday! :)

rainbox I'm so happy team penis! Brilliant. Loving tha name noodles. We are thinking about ours probably name the bump when I'm 8 weeks or so, get over these first few weeks. God I hope this sticks, I need this to stick.

Yay team penis rainbox a little brother for Dexter how lovely So chuffed for you xx

Green I was the same about the sex that why we decided to find out with H (K and E were both surprises) so I could process the emotions before the birth. Are you going to find out?

Fan sending so many sticky sticky sticky vibes to you xxxxxx

Kleine I really hope starting on the pill is the first step to you holding your rainbow baby xx

After 48hrs of vomiting and washing K seems to be getting better - phew! Last week of mat leave - shit

Fan: So pleased for you....I was thinking about you this weekend because I just had a feeling when you were late it would be good news :) Try not to stress too much (easy for me to say on the outside looking in) and remember the thread rules 'today you are pregnant' xxxxxxxxxx

Amy: So pleased your beautiful boy is here. I was thinking about my post on Friday wishing you would be holding him soon........and he was already here :) also glad your recovering well enjoy all those lovely cuddles!!

Kliene: Thinking of u with the IVF approaching. I wish you didn't have to have such a struggle. Big hugs xxxxxxxxx

Whatever: Its so awful when they're sick. I'm glad K is getting better and hope that no one else picks it up. Loved your pics of H sitting up she is absolutely gorgeous. What did you think of Butlins? Would you go back? You must be totally fed up having to go back to work.......boo and double boo!! Xxxxxxxxx

Rainbox: hoorah for team penis xxxxxxx

Angel: Big hugs thinking of you xxxx

Little: thinking of you too xxxx

Green: Sorry about the nasty sickness. Go the docs if its not gone tomorrow. Btw its perfectly natural for you to want a girl I wish I was the fairy godmother so I could grant your wish!xxxxxxx

Waves to Blue, Blizy, Elly, Split, Snowdrop and anyone else Ive missed thinking of you all xxxxxx

Lots going on at home at the mo. My grandad is sick and its not looking good.
Also busy sorting 'A's headstone. I'm hoping it will be erected soon possibly in the next 2-3 weeks.

Night all xxxxx

fan that is just wonderful news!! Absolutely everything crossed for you, with a hand stuck out for holding. (I am now in a yoga-like pretzel formation for you!!)

amy Hurrah for Henry!!

rainbox loving the team penis comment - nothing like anatomical accuracy! Noodle is a brilliant name

whatever hope K is better soon, lovely. xx

angel you wade through some really horrible rubbish, yet you always just keep going. Respect, my friend.

little how are you going, lovely? Your exercise amazes me!

green totally understand your feelings about your baby, and how it might make you feel about Merryn, regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl. How were the seed catalogues?

Kleine here's to a thumbs up from your doctor.

blizy just saying hello and that I am thinking of you and little Z.

babyh hope that your grandad is just giving you all a false alarm.

We planted up Mia's Wood yesterday - photos on FB if anyone wants to have a look. MrMia's careful plans were executed (more or less!!) accurately, and far quicker than we dared imagine - the site looks singularly impressive, and it was all done in sub-zero temperatures during light snow - but the ground was lovely and soft. We were worried that the whole space will be filled, but there is still room for additional planting, and spaces to create magical nooks and crannies for adventures. So very pleased!

Congrats fan. Really pleased for you. Will think of you.

A little boy rainbow! Are you going to do the baby shower with the coloured cake to share the news? :-)

We've had a mixed week, af 5 days late so got hopes up a bit, but it's still early days.

kliene hope this is the start of a rainbow for you. Me and DH thought we would need ivf then it happened naturally, so we're kind of bearing in mind we may need it this time if nothing happens.

angel, know what you're saying about Katie p, it's hard at times, you are staying so strong. Friend of mine has just told me she's expecting again, she's 12 weeks and her baby is only 9 months old. Have to keep thinking everyone has their own s**t to deal with but it's very hard at times to do so!

Wow - a couple of days off and look what I've missed!!!

fan another EEEK here from me! I'm praying so hard that this one sticks xxx lots and lots of love and hand holding. Remember angels mantra 'today you are pregnant' xx

amy hugest congratulations on the safe, but early, arrival of Henry - lovely name! I hope all is well, he is doing really well to not need oxygen - I hope he continues to thrive and that he can come home with you soon xxx

kleine - keeping everything crossed for the IVF my love xxx

rainbox - yay to team penis!!! How lovely!

wtw, I'm glad K is getting better and wow to H being able to sit up now! Boo to last week of mat leave though :( Did you sort your hours out or are you going back full time?

We got some terrible news this weekend - we think that MIL has got cancer of the oesophagus (SP?). We'll find out for sure this week, and should get some idea of treatment, prognosis etc but having had a quick look online, it doesn't look very positive. DH is really shaken up, understandably. It's only just over a year since his DDad almost died 3 times and was in intensive care, which was when I was heavily pg with Nancy. So worried about her, and about FIL - he's really soft and is really struggling to cope already. How much more crap & death and shit do we have to deal with - we were hoping that this year would have a bit of positivity for us, and hope for the future, but now this has been thrown at us.

Love to everyone who I've not mentioned xxx

Elly - I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. How awful. I do hope that the prognosis is better than feared. Sending lots of love and strength to you and your family. I can't quite comprehend why so much bad stuff happens to the same people. It never seems to be evenly distributed.

Fan - I am so pleased for you. I know it is early days and must be so difficult but I was chanting in my head 'stick, stick, stick, stick' last night and today for you. Sending lots of positive vibes to you.

Amy Huge congratulations I hope little Henry is getting stronger by the day and will soon be home with you.

Mia - Mia's wood sounds amazing, what a lovely idea. I'm glad that the planting went well.

Babyh Sorry to hear about your Grandad. Sending lots of hugs. I hope also that everything goes well with A's headstone - such an important step and I'm sure it will be just perfect.

Kleine Sorry about having to go on the pill but I hope this is the first step of a very successful first cycle.

Bilzy thinking of you as Thursday approaches.

Rainbox Yay for boy babybox!

Hope everyone else is doing ok today xxxxxxxxxxx

Just wanted to pop in to say a quiet congrats to fan hope this is your take home baby you so deserve it.

Waves too everyone else and will catch up with the thread when on the PC.

elly I'm so sorry. Huuuge hugs xxx

mias the photos are wonderful. I continue to be in awe of all you do for Mia xx

Sorry not to name-check further but I am FUMING right now. DH sent his parents a lovely email yday, and asked them to forward on another lovely email to all their friends who donated to E's fund (just as we did with my parents and their friends). We've just had a disapproving email back to say that they don't want to forward it, they need us to send handwritten thank-you's instead, ie with a not-very-subtle undertone of 'you aren't up to our standards' Without going into more detail, suffice it to say that after the last few weeks, this (although it's not at all a big thing in itself) feels like the straw that might break the camel's back! Am quite worried how DH is going to react - as I say, it's not a big thing in itself, but it comes on top of a series of other things... I just wish they could be a little different

I should add - in case you all think I'm an ungrateful wench - handwritten thank-yous are always lovely, of course, and in any other circumstances I would have done them anyway... Just, not right now, a few months after our daughter's death. Surely an email is ok at the moment, esp when it was all done online anyway!

Ok I'm going now

I need some serious hand holding, Ive had abit of blood, it was pink and watery but it was blood. I am cramping a bit but my boobs still hurt and Ive had stretchy womb feelings all day, Im trying to be non-negative. Not positive. I bleed in the first two weeks of Ophelias pregnancy, but I am still scared, Im trying to be brave for DH.
I did buy some cheap pg tests yesterday for this very event. I will do one tomorrow morning if I bleed some more.
Life is shit!

Oh fan right here for hand holding. Try and stay as non-negative as you can, must be so hard I know. I was so so hoping it would just be straight forward for you. Lots of love xxx

Kleine WTF! I can't believe they are expecting handwritten notes, I'm sure that's not how most people are feeling at the moment.

Maybe your in laws could write them. It could be one of those things they could 'do' as everyone is always asking if there is anything they can do to help.

Keep calm!

Fan, I'm squeezing your other hand here. The waiting game is horrible. I wish I could DO something to make this work for you, you deserve it so completely. Could it be implantation bleeding? I usually get that at week 4/5 ish? Every part of me is sending you positive sticky vibes.... Xxx.